It freaks me out. But for me, something incredible might come out of it a chance to meet a sister i didnt even know i had. Her train is pulling in now. Id better go in and wait. We are Donor Conceived, and this is our story. Im about to start a personal journey that i didnt think i would ever go on. And im really nervous. I dont know how this is going to end. I was 17 and i found out i was pregnant. And i lived here at the time. My dad, he just couldnt even look at me. He was so upset. And i actually had a bleed that night, so my dad had to take me into hospital. I didnt know if he wanted to speak to me, so i went in and had the scan on my own and they printed the pictures out for me. And ijust came out and gave them to him and it was like all had been forgotten. Yeah. Then it was fine. If being pregnant at 17 was a shock, then the news my dad was about to tell me was something i never, ever expected. So, i was about six months pregnant. I came down, i was on my phone, just like, 0h, whats the matter . Yeah, he just sat me down and said they had to use a sperm donor to have me. And, oh, my gosh, i was just like, what . I didnt know what to do. I didnt know what to say. I didnt know what to ask. So, this is my box of, like, little keepsakes. But as you can see, its come on lots of house moves with me. Oh, i love this picture. This is one my favourites. When i was little, with him. His relationship with my kids was just the best. Like, he was always with them, he loved them to bits. And they miss him so much. I sadly lost my dad in 2022. He had a Lung Condition and he died when he was just 68. Thinking about holding his hand and saying, like, im really sorry. Laughter. For everything i put you through as a kid. I was a nightmare. Yeah, it was really. Weird. Just the most surreal thing, to have to go watch your dad die. I loved my dad so much, and when he was alive, i was really scared of upsetting him by searching for my sperm donor. But i know that hed actually be really proud of what im doing. In my head, i cant shake off this nagging question is there someone else out there going through the exact same thing as me . For me, i always wanted to find siblings. I cant explain it. Like. Because nobody else knows how we feel because theyre not Donor Conceived, its a big, like, subject that i feel is not spoken about enough. And im not the only one who feels like this. I discovered that i was Donor Conceived in february 2021, aged 39. I found out that im Donor Conceived when i was about 15. I found out i was Donor Conceived when i was about 13 years old. I think there is a stigma around being Donor Conceived, and i think a lot of that is to do with the secrecy. We, as Donor Conceived people, are not supposed to want to know who the donor is and where we come from, and our biological family on the donors side. And i think people were very. Well meaning, but they would say things like, oh, you know, this doesnt really matter and your dads still your dad. | inside, i was kind of feeling like, i ok, i actually do have some pretty big feelings here. So, what is Donor Conception and how does it work . There are different rules around the world, but in the uk. Well, let me explain. Lots of people need help to have children. Sometimes its because they have fertility problems, but sometimes its because theyre single or in same sex relationships. Heres where sperm and egg donors come in. For men, donating sperm is a fairly straightforward process. For women, its a little bit more complicated, involving Hormone Treatments and an operation. Donated eggs and sperm are then stored for up to ten years in labs around the country. People hoping to be parents can look through information on the donors to decide which characteristics they want their babies to have. Hi, im vicky. Im lucy. And we had a baby two years ago through donor. Er. Sperm. Hello, im sean greenaway. Im a male fertility coach and im also the father. To twins that were conceived by the use of donor sperm. I what was quite important criteria for us was that the donor was going to be brown hair, blue eyes. Like lucy. We chose that person that we didnt know anything about because it was like a blank canvas. I we didnt want to be expecting anything of our children. People using Donor Conception are helped by Fertility Doctors like eddie. There has been a definite movement in the demographics of people who are coming forward. First of all, we got same sex couples coming forward, and in the last decade or so, weve been having a lot of single women. But interestingly, in the last couple of years, we started having single men coming forwards. Yeah, absolutely. Figures for 2021 show around 3,500 patients in the uk used Donor Insemination, and thats only through the official routes. And because of a change in uk law, from october 2023, Donor Conceived children turning 18 will have the right to know the identity of their donor for the very first time. In the past, the whole idea of donation was help somebody else but you dont need to be involved. You can just walk off into the sunset and nobody will contact you in future. So i think it was a good thing. I think its important that people are able to get that information. You do with it what you choose. I mean, they can choose not to make contact, they can choose not to find out if they wish to, but at least they have the option. I was born before 2005, so i dont have the right to know who my donor was. But im off to meet a brother and sister who do. Hello. Are you 0k . Oh, look at your curls. Youve got beautiful curls. Laughter twins phoebe and matthew have always known theyre Donor Conceived. We decided, because the change in law was coming up in 2005, that we would wait to start ivf. Because, for the sake of a few months, we just felt it wasnt fair on any children we might have had to deny them that opportunity to find out who that donor was. But as they got older and started asking questions, they were very keen on. How old is he . Whats his name . What does he do . So i did a bit of research and we found we could send away for non identifiable information. And then i think the Biggest Surprise for us he was born in colombia. And its kind of like, ok, that was a bit of a shock. Not quite what we were expecting. We know that there are half siblings out there. Thats recorded. Ten or 11 half siblings that, again, providing that they want to meet as well, there could be | opportunity once they reach 18. So the next 12, 14 months is going to be next part. Of the journey, really. An exciting part of the journey. I you guys have always known, havent you . Yeah. I cant remember not knowing, yeah. We were introduced from when we were, like, kids and our knowledge of it has grown as weve got older to understand. Its always been open for conversation. So itsjust something thats always been very natural to talk about. Do you know anything about your donor . We know hes a Second Generation born colombian. His height, his build,. Eye colour, hair colour, age, some of his hobbies. And thats pretty muchl everything they told us, really. Ive got curly hair, obviously, which is a bit of a mystery, where that came from. Ijust think its really cool that part of us is from a different country. So, when youre both 18 now, next year, are you going to apply for more information . Yeah, 100 . And what are you hoping for to come out of that . Just to meet him, really. Oh, you want to meet him . Yeah. Shaun they both want to know. Yeah. You know, weve goti two amazing children. You know, our lives are different as a result of that persons kindness. So it will be nice to shake him i by the hand and say thank you. My names mel and im a solo parent. I used ivf with donor sperm to conceive my daughter. Shes now five. My wife and i have been. Together 16 years, and over the past 12 we have created our family through Donor Conception. I chose the sperm donor that i used to conceive my daughter partly because he said he would be open to contact in the future. It was incredibly important i for us that we found a donor who was happy for the children to reach out when they came. Of age, because we felt it was an incredibly important part, that it was theirjourney too, and their decision if they wish to reach out and meet him. I for Donor Conceived people like me, born before the law changed, its really hard to find out who our donors are. In 2019, i went on a programme to try and do just that. Ive never met anybody else whos Donor Conceived. Sadly, i didnt find him. All i could get was some really basic details. So, i havent watched this since my dad passed away. Well, i havent actually watched it since it went out. We thought we were doing the right thing. As far as i was concerned, tink was mine. And always had been. Look at my hand blow us a kiss. I was the person that protected her, that gave her the love, looked after her. I was someone special to tink. And then i told her that i wasnt her biological father. I felt i destroyed something totally. Indistinct speech it breaks my heart. Ifelt, because i told her. That she wouldnt love me no more. The programme did encourage me and my dad to finally open up and talk about how we were both feeling. On tv ijust feel like ive come from a freezer. Itjust doesnt feel natural. So its weird for me, thats all. Its mad cos, like, watching it back, i canjust remember being so angry. But also, like, just not very educated on it, so. And thats the first time me and my dad ever spoke about it. Wed never spoken about it before. Until. Well, he told me when i was 17, and im 25 there. Yeah, itsjust really sad to watch it back. I seem so cold to him. Thatjust makes me miss him. Yeah. I want to see the process my parents went through to have me. But im feeling really nervous to be here because i sometimes feel like i came from a lab. Hi are you 0k . Hi. Tink, i presume . It is, yeah. Hi, imjoanne adams. Pleased to meet you. 0h, lovely to meet you. Come this way. Fab, thanks. This is where patients and donors do their samples. Theyre very plain and ordinary. Yeah. Everybody thinks theyre going to be very exceptional, but theyre not. Theres obviously a television, for obvious reasons. Yeah. So, what happens . Do they just turn the telly on and. It� s there . No, theyve got a choice, basically. Something there to suit everybody, i would say, so. I dont know what to say. Yeah. I thought id feel really weird coming in here, but its just a room. Yeah. Ok, im ready to go. Laughter all around the world, fertility centres like this are busy freezing eggs and sperm and helping parents with treatments like Donor Insemination and ivf. Am i all tucked in . Im getting rare access to a delicate and really Special Stage of the process, one my parents probably went through, too. These are our time lapse incubators, so we can get videos of the embryos growing. Oh, wow laughter this embryo is almost ready to be implanted. So, will this patient come in this week and. . Yes, shell be here tomorrow. Oh, wow. So this is a big moment for her that its coming . Yeah. Its not every day you see that on a screen, do you . Does that make you feel very privileged . Yeah, i do feel really privileged. Yeah. Especially someone whos gone through it as well. This is where we store all our eggs, sperm and embryos. Whoa. Ok, so these are racks of samples. So that square is one. . So, that square will have maybe 100 vials with donor sperm in it. Of one persons. . Of one person. It is amazing. It is, yeah. And its mad seeing this. Yes. Like, i was in one of them. Laughter just for a little bit. I know. Just for a little while, yeah. Yeah. Seeing it all, it is a lot more reassuring. Just not as clinical as you think it is. Yeah. It is to a certain extent, but you know that youre being handled by real people and we have an emotion about what were doing as well. Yeah, itjust makes you feel a lot better. Like, i said i was really worried about coming today, but, yeah, its taken it away completely. Mm. Thats good. Good. Yeah, itjust feels normal. Yeah. Now that i know more about how it all works, i also feel like i can face up to another fear ive been holding on to. When i applied to the uks fertility regulator for information on my donor, i was also told something really exciting. In front of me, ive got my letter from the hfea, which is a really exciting letter because its actually got the list of siblings that ive got. So, ive got 16 altogether, which is totally bonkers. Its a lot of siblings. So its really weird cos ive always said ifelt like ive got a sister, and it actually says theres two females in 1995, which is the year im born. So thats just mind blowing. And it gets better. I think ive actually tracked down that sister. She actually only lives 20 minutes away from me, but we text back a little bit, back and forth, and weve actually decided a date to meet up. Which is really, really nerve racking but really exciting at the same time. Its exciting to think i might get to meet my half sister, but im still no closer to knowing my donor and i dont know if he wants to meet me. When their anonymity was removed, the number of people coming forward to donate eggs and sperm temporarily dropped. But at least some donors do want to be found. Gary evans. Dj gary evans in the � 80s. Thats part of his decks. Gary and his three daughters, sarah, tanya and michelle, live in essex. Yeah. Thats before you. Thats the first holiday abroad. Ihad hair. Yeah, i was a twinkle i in the eye at that stage. You was. Gary donated sperm in the � 805 after he and his partner went through a miscarriage. Recently, a new daughter tracked him down. We were just kind of looking at each other. Itsjust so. I can see it now. And she embraced me. I embraced her. It was very emotional. Something that happened so long ago, that i did, i could never dream that it would be like this. Ijust did not. I could not foresee it. Garys third daughter, michelle, is due to give birth any day now. But she wanted to come along to tell me more about the impact her new half sister has had on her life. I knewjust from the pictures that shes definitely my sister. And we were really lucky as well to know that she actually wanted to have a relationship with us. Mm. And i think it was important for us to make her feel that we actually cared about her. I found a sister, and weve messaged back and forth. And we finally decided were going to meet next weekend. Im really nervous to go. Oh, im sure shell absolutely love you. And itll be, like, therapeutic for you both, because at least you can share your experiences. And you never know, you might find more of your siblings. Yeah. Garys donor daughter didnt want to go on camera, but she did write us a letter. 0n discovering i was Donor Conceived, i never thought my biological father would want to meet me, let alone be part of my life. I also wanted to know, where did i come from . What was my father like . Does he look like me . Do i have siblings . From the get go, gary embraced me as his daughter. He told me everything i needed to know about my familys health and history, and showed me photos of my grandparents and relatives. Gary also introduced me to my wonderful three sisters. There was an instant bond. It was like wed known each other our whole lives. I love them so much and cant imagine life without them now. Getting to know them has been amazing and i feel and i feel like they and gary were the missing part of me. I really am so lucky and cant believe how well its all worked out. I love gary to bits and im so grateful for how hes treated me, and the same goes to my sisters. Oh, that makes me feel so emotional. Even im going. Oh, my god so am i yeah, its just really nice. So lovely. You can see shes a very affectionate lady. Its amazing for her, isnt it . What shes got . And it makes me feel happy because at least somebody has got answers, you know . Yeah, its lovely. I was told i was Donor Conceived when i was in primary school. I was also told that my donor biological mother was anonymous and untraceable. And that was that. I have found my biological father, and with it, im starting to build relationships with him and his wife and his three raised children. My half siblings. I am a0 years old. I just wanted to share my story about being a Donor Conceived adult. Ive got this new family thats just like an extension of my family. He doesnt replace my father at all. Its like a new, unique, unusual, amazing relationship. It makes us emotional when we talk about it. Although i think id still love to find out my donors identity, no one could ever replace my dad who brought me up. But theres one thing left i need to do, and thats meet my sister. I just didnt think this would ever happen at all. So i am really, really nervous. Ifelt like i didnt want to betray my dad. Like, hes the first person id have rung as well after it to be like, dad, guess what . And i cant even do that. So its just. Its really. Yeah, its a lot. Yeah. Her train is pulling in now. Id better go in and wait. Go for it. Good luck. Thanks. See you later. Its going really well. Getting on really well. Theres been no, like, awkward silence. Were just two, like, really welshy girls. Yeah, its lovely. Its really nice, yeah. You look really happy. Iam, yeah. Yeah. Im so glad its gone like this. Like, the minute she sat down, ijust felt like i knew her. Im going back to my sister, guys. Ill see you later. Laughter two days ago. I was told that my donor mother. Has been traced. I found my Donor Conceived community through facebook, of all places. I feel understood in that community and supported. And ive found that the things that i feel are ok to feel and that other Donor Conceived people feel them too. Its notjust making a baby. Its making a human. Who is going to grow up and have a lot of emotions. And, you know, prospective parents need to be aware i of the fact that their child might feel negatively, might struggle. They need to be willing to talk to their child about that and support their. Child through that. 0k, just a quick update. I look like her. 0ur Personalities are very, very similar. And weve got a lot of catching up to do. I cant even believe im saying this. Theres a lot of emotions and a lot of processing to do. But m