Translation we shouldnt have to hide it any more. fin translation we shouldnt have to hide it any more. Hide it any more. On putting one of the hardest hide it any more. On putting one of the hardest stories hide it any more. On putting one of the hardest stories about hide it any more. On putting one of the hardest stories about my hide it any more. On putting one of the hardest stories about my life i the hardest stories about my life out there the hardest stories about my life out there and the hardest stories about my life out there. And its the hardest stories about my life out there. And its petrifying. That was literally just that was literallyjust minutes after i gave birth to him. He was just so young. I was only ia years when i met him. He was ten years olderfor me, and from when i met him. He was ten years older for me, and from that moment he began grooming me. At the time, i didnt see it for what it was. I thought thats how love were supposed to be. I was 15 when i got pregnant. I still remember him being in my arms, and ijust had that instant bond that a mother feels. I was so excited to be a mum. But as i got older, i started to understand what had happened to me. I remember when the thoughts first started running through my head. I was panicking about my son. I thought, what am i going to tell my son . I couldnt see a light at the end of the tunnel. My son was only 12 when i had to tell him that head dad had raped and abused me, and thats how he was born. He didnt want to be the person who he was. He didnt want to be in his own skin. I blamed myself. Ifelt so didnt want to be in his own skin. I blamed myself. I felt so stupid. Didnt want to be in his own skin. I blamed myself. Ifelt so stupid. My bruises healed. My mind didnt. We both felt so alone. And there was nowhere for us to turn. There must be others out there feeling the same way. I used to think horrible things, like what i used to think horrible things, like what if i go up to be like him . You feel like what if i go up to be like him . You feel grief, you feel anger, you feel shame. You feel grief, you feel anger, you feelshame. I you feel grief, you feel anger, you feel shame you feel grief, you feel anger, you feel shame. I know theres nothing that i could feel shame. I know theres nothing that i could have feel shame. I know theres nothing that i could have done. Feel shame. I know theres nothing that i could have done. But feel shame. I know theres nothing that i could have done. But it feel shame. I know theres nothing that i could have done. But it feelsj that i could have done. But it feels like its that i could have done. But it feels like its my that i could have done. But it feels like its my fault that i could have done. But it feels like its my fault that that i could have done. But it feels like its my fault that i that i could have done. But it feels like its my fault that i am that i could have done. But it feels like its my fault that i am alive. I like its my fault that i am alive. Youre like its my fault that i am alive. Youre putting like its my fault that i am alive. Youre putting yourself like its my fault that i am alive. Youre putting yourself in like its my fault that i am alive. Youre putting yourself in your l youre putting yourself in your birth mother shoes. Youre also thinking, am i going to remind her of the person who did this to her . And i think its incredible that she even and i think its incredible that she even decided and i think its incredible that she even decided to and i think its incredible that she even decided to keep and i think its incredible that she even decided to keep me. And i think its incredible that she even decided to keep me. I and i think its incredible that she even decided to keep me. I dontl even decided to keep me. I dont think even decided to keep me. I dont think i even decided to keep me. I dont think i could even decided to keep me. I dont think i could ever even decided to keep me. I dont think i could ever look even decided to keep me. I dont think i could ever look at even decided to keep me. I dont think i could ever look at that. Think i could ever look at that child think i could ever look at that child without think i could ever look at that child without thinking think i could ever look at that child without thinking about l think i could ever look at that. Child without thinking about all think i could ever look at that child without thinking about all the abuse child without thinking about all the abuse l child without thinking about all the abuse. ,. , child without thinking about all the abuse. ,. ,. ,. Child without thinking about all the abuse. ,. ,. ,. ~ abuse. I ust wanted acceptance. And to know abuse. Ijust wanted acceptance. And to know that abuse. Ijust wanted acceptance. And to know that im abuse. Ijust wanted acceptance. And to know that im normal. Abuse. Ijust wanted acceptance. And to know that im normal. Despite to know that im normal. Despite where i have come from. The worst feelin is where i have come from. The worst feeling is feeling where i have come from. The worst feeling is feeling like where i have come from. The worst feeling is feeling like you where i have come from. The worst feeling is feeling like you are feeling is feeling like you are alone feeling is feeling like you are alone. You are questioning everything about yourself. Do i look like a everything about yourself. Do i look like a rapist . Looking in a mirror, it is almost like a rapist . Looking in a mirror, it is almost like i could see the nran it is almost like i could see the man who it is almost like i could see the man who raped my mother looking back at me man who raped my mother looking back at me you man who raped my mother looking back at me. You grow up with all these ideas at me. You grow up with all these ideas of who you are. Your kind, youre ideas of who you are. Your kind, youre nice, and your loving. And then youre nice, and your loving. And then you youre nice, and your loving. And then you find out you were conceived in a violent, then you find out you were conceived in a violent, almost hateful way. It pulls in a violent, almost hateful way. It pulls the in a violent, almost hateful way. It pulls the heart out of your world. It pulls the heart out of your world. It was pulls the heart out of your world. It was then pulls the heart out of your world. It was then that he was born, after he was raped by a stranger in a park. He was raped by a stranger in a ark. ~ ,. ,. He was raped by a stranger in a ark. ~ i. ,. , he was raped by a stranger in a ark. ~ ,. , park. When you hear those words, it is like somebody, park. When you hear those words, it is like somebody, almost park. When you hear those words, it is like somebody, almost its park. When you hear those words, it is like somebody, almost its like. Park. When you hear those words, it is like somebody, almost its like a i is like somebody, almost its like a video is like somebody, almost its like a video game is like somebody, almost its like a video game punched into your chest and ripped video game punched into your chest and ripped your insides out. Ijust broke and ripped your insides out. Ijust broke down. Completely and utterly lost it broke down. Completely and utterly lost it so. Broke down. Completely and utterly lost it so. I broke down. Completely and utterly lost it. So, i did meet with my birth lost it. So, i did meet with my birth mother. And one of the first things birth mother. And one of the first things are said to her, was if i look things are said to her, was if i look like things are said to her, was if i look like the man who did this to you. Walk look like the man who did this to you, walk away. I dont want to bring you, walk away. I dont want to bring that back. You, walk away. I dont want to bring that back. You didnt want to u set her. Bring that back. You didnt want to upset her. What bring that back. You didnt want to upset her. What you bring that back. You didnt want to upset her. What you say . Bring that back. You didnt want to upset her. What you say . She bring that back. You didnt want to j upset her. What you say . She said its fine. Upset her. What you say . She said its fine you upset her. What you say . She said its fine. You dont upset her. What you say . She said its fine. You dont look upset her. What you say . She said its fine. You dont look like upset her. What you say . She said its fine. You dont look like him. L its fine. You dont look like him. That its fine. You dont look like him. That really its fine. You dont look like him. That really change things for me, it really that really change things for me, it really did that really change things for me, it reall did. ,. ,. That really change things for me, it reall did. ,. ,. ,. , really did. Have you ever wanted to meet him, really did. Have you ever wanted to meet him. Just really did. Have you ever wanted to meet him, just to really did. Have you ever wanted to meet him, just to confront really did. Have you ever wanted to meet him, just to confront him really did. Have you ever wanted to meet him, just to confront him andj meet him, just to confront him and say why did you do this . The meet him, just to confront him and say why did you do this . Meet him, just to confront him and say why did you do this . The man who did that to my say why did you do this . The man who did that to my birth say why did you do this . The man who did that to my birth mother, say why did you do this . The man who did that to my birth mother, he say why did you do this . The man who did that to my birth mother, he is did that to my birth mother, he is just nothing to me. I cant be clear enough just nothing to me. I cant be clear enough about this. That how angry i wasnt him enough about this. That how angry i wasnt him. But no, i wouldnt want anything wasnt him. But no, i wouldnt want anything to wasnt him. But no, i wouldnt want anything to do with him. To all intents anything to do with him. To all intents and purposes i dont think of myself intents and purposes i dont think of myself as having a birth father. I of myself as having a birth father. I have of myself as having a birth father. I have my of myself as having a birth father. I have my birth mother, and thats it. I have my birth mother, and thats it and i have my birth mother, and thats it. And thats enough. For i have my birth mother, and thats it. And thats enough. I have my birth mother, and thats it. And thats enough. For me, what is hard to sit it. And thats enough. For me, what is hard to sit here it. And thats enough. For me, what is hard to sit here and it. And thats enough. For me, what is hard to sit here and listen it. And thats enough. For me, what is hard to sit here and listen to is hard to sit here and listen to is that you had all this to deal with. And it has affected you so much. And you are an adult dealing with theirs. You are in your 20s. My son was 12 years old. With no one to talk to. So im kind ofjust sat here thinking, ifeel talk to. So im kind ofjust sat here thinking, i feel in a way like ifailed him. I here thinking, i feel in a way like i failed him here thinking, i feel in a way like i failed him. I dont think you have it all. Ithink i failed him. I dont think you have it all. | think that i failed him. I dont think you have it all. | think that by i failed him. I dont think you have it all. I think that by being i failed him. I dont think you have it all. I think that by being open i it all. I think that by being open and honest you have done the best by him. And honest you have done the best by him as long and honest you have done the best by him. As long as there is love their and you him. As long as there is love their and you can him. As long as there is love their and you can show that love, and explained and you can show that love, and explained that how he was conceived as the explained that how he was conceived as the most unimportant thing in the world as the most unimportant thing in the world its, as the most unimportant thing in the world. Its, you are my son. I love you beyond world. Its, you are my son. I love you beyond anything. You are part of me. And you beyond anything. You are part of me, and thats the important thing. And we me, and thats the important thing. And we might have to work at it more every and we might have to work at it more every day, and we might have to work at it more every day, than most families, because every day, than most families, because we are both hurting. But we are together, and thats the important thing. And youre my son. I important thing. And youre my son. I have important thing. And youre my son. I have tried important thing. And youre my son. I have tried so hard to be the best mum i can to my son. But no matter how much i love him, he still has a Shadow Hanging over him. And i know he has questions about his dad, but i dont know whether the reality would really help him. It i dont know whether the reality would really help him. I dont know whether the reality would really help him. Id love to know where would really help him. Id love to know where he would really help him. Id love to know where he was would really help him. Id love to know where he was buried, would really help him. Id love to know where he was buried, so i i would really help him. Id love to know where he was buried, so i could go and dance on his grave. This monstrous man that felt that he could do that and that it was ok to do that, and that it was ok to rape people. I think there is a special place in hell for people like that. Is a reality that eva confronted. She grew up adopted, imagining a perfect family she would one day find. But when she met her birth mother, the truth was much darker. She had been abused from a young age by her father. She had been abused from a young age by herfather. And she had been abused from a young age by her father. And she she had been abused from a young age by herfather. And she had got pregnant at the age of ia. I was the result of that liaison. It made me feel unwanted. A freak. But i still wanted to know more. So i rang him. And i asked him, if he had done the things that he had been accused of. And he said yes, he had. And i said to him, do you feel remorse for what you did . And he said no, i dont. And i said, would you do it again . He said yes, i would. I wanted him to pay for what he had done. And the only way that i could see for that to happen was to go to the police. They said they needed evidence. And i said well, youve got the evidence standing right in front of you. I am living, Breathing Proof of the evidence. That this man raped someone. But they didnt seem to care. They didnt seem interested. Im glad ifound out where i came from. I needed to know. Im glad i found out where i came from. I needed to know. Im glad i found out where i came from. I needed to know. What was that driving from. I needed to know. What was that Driving Force from. I needed to know. What was that Driving Force to from. I needed to know. What was that Driving Force to find from. I needed to know. What was that Driving Force to find those that Driving Force to find those missing pieces . I that Driving Force to find those missing pieces . That Driving Force to find those missing pieces . I think it doesnt matter how missing pieces . I think it doesnt matter how horrible missing pieces . I think it doesnt matter how horrible the missing pieces . I think it doesnt matter how horrible the past missing pieces . I think it doesnt matter how horrible the past is. L matter how horrible the past is. Its like an itch that you cant scratch. , its like an itch that you cant scratch. And its like an itch that you cant scratch. And youve i its like an itch that you cant. Scratch. And youve just its like an itch that you cant scratch. And youve just got scratch. Yeah. And youve ust got to know. Youve scratch. Yeah. And youve ust got to know. Youve got h scratch. Yeah. And youve ust got to know. Youve got to h scratch. Yeah. And youve just got to know. Youve got to know. Scratch. Yeah. And youve just got to know. Youve got to know. Ed l to know. Youve got to know. Ed hels, to know. Youve got to know. Ed helps, but meeting and enabler has made me realise we are not going through this alone. And i know a bit about my own feelings, because they are just too painful to deal with. There must be other mums out there feeling the same way. X there must be other mums out there feeling the same way. Feeling the same way. X like if you inect feeling the same way. X like if you inject poison into feeling the same way. X like if you inject poison into somebody. Feeling the same way. X like if you inject poison into somebody. That| feeling the same way. X like if you i inject poison into somebody. That is exactly inject poison into somebody. That is exactly what happened to me. My father exactly what happened to me. My father injected our own genes into me. Father injected our own genes into me he father injected our own genes into me. He told me that all daddies miss the little me. He told me that all daddies miss the little girls. And that i fell pregnant. It the little girls. And that i fell pregnant the little girls. And that i fell reunant. � , pregnant. It wasnt ust about the ra e and pregnant. It wasnt ust about the rape and the h pregnant. It wasnt just about the rape and the physical pregnant. It wasnt just about the rape and the physical abuse. Pregnant. It wasnt just about the rape and the physical abuse. It i pregnant. It wasntjust about the i rape and the physical abuse. It was the emotional abuse. I rape and the physical abuse. It was the emotional abuse. Rape and the physical abuse. It was the emotional abuse. I really wanted to tell what was the emotional abuse. I really wanted to tell what was happening. The emotional abuse. I really wanted to tell what was happening. And the emotional abuse. I really wanted to tell what was happening. And i i to tell what was happening. And i couldnt tell a soul. I couldnt tell anybody what happened. Just what i tell anybody what happened. Just what i had been through. This child is going what i had been through. This child is going to what i had been through. This child is going to call me that as well. But i is going to call me that as well. But ijust is going to call me that as well. But ijust felt sick, just, no. One of my but ijust felt sick, just, no. One of my going but ijust felt sick, just, no. One of my going to do . | but ijust felt sick, ust, no. One of my going to do . But ijust felt sick, ust, no. One of my going to do . I felt like i was ust of my going to do . I felt like i was just so different of my going to do . I felt like i was just so different to of my going to do . I felt like i was just so different to everybody just so different to everybody else. And i just so different to everybody else. And i felt just so different to everybody else. And i felt so just so different to everybody else. And i felt so alone. Just so different to everybody else. And i felt so alone. And just so different to everybody else. And i felt so alone. And i just so different to everybody else. And i felt so alone. And i was and i felt so alone. And i was ashamed and i felt so alone. And i was ashamed of and i felt so alone. And i was ashamed of myself and i felt so alone. And i was ashamed of myself as and i felt so alone. And i was ashamed of myself as a and i felt so alone. And i was i ashamed of myself as a person. And i felt so alone. And i was ashamed of myself as a person. If ashamed of myself as a person. It you ashamed of myself as a person. You have made me have that ashamed of myself as a person. you have made me have that baby, i dont think i wouldve survived. I dont think i wouldve survived. I dont think i wouldve survived. I dont think i wouldve been here today. The mac i have to survive. I have to survive to leave. I today. The mac i have to survive. I have to survive to leave. Have to survive to leave. I put on her face for have to survive to leave. I put on her face for the have to survive to leave. I put on her face for the child. Have to survive to leave. I put on her face for the child. Put have to survive to leave. I put on her face for the child. Put them i have to survive to leave. I put on | her face for the child. Put them in the bottom her face for the child. Put them in the bottom of the pram. And walked out the the bottom of the pram. And walked out the door. On a train. And never went out the door. On a train. And never went back mandy escaped the abuse, but she couldnt escape the consequences. Her son was born with a genetic disability. Neither of us have ever talked to another mother with a child born from abuse, so this was a first for both of us. Do you think it is different for us mums, having a child conceived through abuse to having children conceived in a happy relationship . Having children conceived in a happy relationship . Yeah. How do you think its different . Relationship . Yeah. How do you think its different . For relationship . Yeah. How do you think its different . For my relationship . Yeah. How do you think its different . For my other its different . For my other children. Its different . For my other children, before its different . For my other children, before i its different . For my other children, before i knew its different . For my other. Children, before i knew what its different . For my other children, before i knew what loving the baby was. And that i have the children. It sounds awful to say that. He wasnt conceived out of love. He was conceived by a monster. But by god, i love him. But yeah. Yeah. I always say, i am a survivor, my son is a victim, because he is. And even everything thats wrong with him, is because of what happened to me. Because a crime happened to me. Because a crime happened to me. It happened to him as well. fight happened to me. It happened to him as well. �. Happened to me. It happened to him as well. � ,. ,. ,. ,. As well. And this is going to affect them for the as well. And this is going to affect them for the rest as well. And this is going to affect them for the rest of as well. And this is going to affect them for the rest of his as well. And this is going to affect them for the rest of his life . As well. And this is going to affect| them for the rest of his life . Yeah. I do his meals. I them for the rest of his life . Yeah. I do his meals. I do is them for the rest of his life . Yeah. I do his meals. I do is bathing. Them for the rest of his life . Yeah. I do his meals. I do is bathing. And he always says to people, shes my mum. So, yeah. Its my son. Always will be. But sometimes, you go there. And then sometimes, no, dont go there. People, when they find out, they say youre disgusting. You had an affair with her dad. Thats horrible. How could you do that because mark and i didnt. I was 11. Maybe younger. But the first recollection i had, i was 11. Ltibiae recollection i had, i was 11. Was there ever recollection i had, i was 11. Was there ever any recollection i had, i was 11. Was there ever any one recollection i had, i was 11. Was there ever any one that recollection i had, iwas 11. Was there ever any one that said this is not yourfault . There ever any one that said this is not your fault . There ever any one that said this is not your fault . Has there ever any one that said this is | not your fault . Has anyone not your fault . No. No. Has anyone even now. Not your fault . No. No. Has anyone even now. After not your fault . No. No. Has anyone even now, after all not your fault . No. No. Has anyone even now, after all these not your fault . No. No. Has anyone even now, after all these years, not your fault . No. No. Has anyone even now, after all these years, as| even now, after all these years, as an adult or even after him going to prison, has anyone ever said this isnt yourfault . Prison, has anyone ever said this isnt your fault . Isnt your fault . No. Im going to c now. Isnt your fault . No. Im going to cry now well isnt your fault . No. Im going to cry now. Well im isnt your fault . No. Im going to cry now. Well im going isnt your fault . No. Im going to cry now. Well im going to isnt your fault . No. Im going to cry now. Well im going to be isnt your fault . No. Im going to l cry now. Well im going to be first. Its not cry now. Well im going to be first. Its rrot your cry now. Well im going to be first. Its not your fault. Cry now. Well im going to be first. Its not your fault. Youre cry now. Well im going to be first. Its not your fault. Youre not its not your fault. Youre not to blame. �. ,. ,. ,. ,. , blame. Im going to, women, and our osition, i blame. Im going to, women, and our position. I was. Blame. Im going to, women, and our position, iwas, all blame. Im going to, women, and our position, iwas, all them blame. Im going to, women, and our position, i was, all them years blame. Im going to, women, and our position, i was, all them years ago, l position, i was, all them years ago, in pain. Im going to be stuck here forever. You open that door, and get the hell out. I feel a little bit Ifeel A Little Bit at i feel a little bit at a Ifeel A Little Bit at a loss i feel a little bit at a loss for words. I mean, she hasjust been through so much. And she is by far one of the bravest, if not the bravest person that i have ever met in my life. Everyone i have met has felt so alone. And there is nothing here to help people like us. I want to see how people elsewhere in the world have changed that. Rwanda is one of the only places in the world with specialist counselling for women and children born of rape. It counselling for women and children born of rape counselling for women and children born of rape. It was a massacre that saw a tenth born of rape. It was a massacre that saw a tenth of born of rape. It was a massacre that saw a tenth of the born of rape. It was a massacre that saw a tenth of the population saw a tenth of the population killed. , , y saw a tenth of the population killed. , , killed. This country suffer the aenocide killed. This country suffer the genocide in killed. This country suffer the genocide in 1994. Killed. This country suffer the genocide in 1994. We killed. This country suffer the | genocide in 1994. We women, children, they genocide in 1994. We women, children, they were genocide in 1994. We women, children, they were hunted i genocide in 1994. We women, i children, they were hunted down genocide in 1994. We women, children, they were hunted down and slaughtered. Children, they were hunted down and slaughtered slaughtered. 800,000 people were massacred in slaughtered. 800,000 people were massacred in just slaughtered. 800,000 people were massacred in just 100 slaughtered. 800,000 people were massacred in just 100 days. Slaughtered. 800,000 people were massacred in just 100 days. The i massacred in ust100 days. The killers massacred in ust100 days. The kiuers were massacred in just 100 days. The killers were a massacred injust100 days. The killers were a mixture massacred injust100 days. Tie killers were a mixture of massacred injust100 days. The killers were a mixture of regular forces and militia, who took to the street with clubs and machetes. The victims were the minority. Victims were the minority. Hundreds of thousands victims were the minority. Hundreds of thousands of victims were the minority. Hundreds of thousands of women victims were the minority. Hundreds of thousands of women were victims were the minority. Hundreds of thousands of women were raped. | translation . Claire was thrown into a mass grave among the dead bodies. Somehow, she lived. But her ordeal wasnt over. She realised she was pregnant by one of her attackers. Claire even thought about killing her baby when it was born. But when she saw her daughters face for the first time, she knew she couldnt. Hi you must be claire and elizabeth . How are you . And you must be elizabeth . How are we doing . Its a pleasure to meet you. Claire kept the truth hidden for years. It was only when she met other mothers like her that she met other mothers like her that she opened up and told her daughter how she was born. Thats when he was a little bit older. As many as 20,000 children were born from rape during the genocide. Here, they come together to talk about how it has affected them. When i sat there as a mum, and. Its kind of like when i am seeing it from the moment, im knowing what my son is feeling as well. That was what made it difficult. What happened here in 199a is very different to what happened to me. But we still have so much in common. It has been incredible to see how children and mothers here dealt with their struggles by coming together. Ijust their struggles by coming together. I just wish their struggles by coming together. Ijust wish Me And My Son have not felt so alone. Things between Me And My Son have always been difficult. And i dont know what the future holds. Sit par good girl ijust wish that Me And My Son would have been able to process everything better than what we did. But i am his mum, and i always will love him, and he knows that. Since i have been back with rwanda, ivejust been that. Since i have been back with rwanda, ive just been thinking about everything i learned there and the people that i met. And one thing that really stood out for me is everybody and wanda came together through a charity. So today, i have invited some of the people from the documentary to come together and share fields. And for some of us, its going to be the first time that they have ever met somebody that has been through their situation. So todayis been through their situation. So today is a really big day for them. Talking about this is always going to be painful, but it feels like this is a first step. My sons birth father is there. Theres not a lot of people ive talked about this with. , � , of people ive talked about this with. ,� , ~ with. Youre the first person. And eole with. Youre the first person. And people said with. Youre the first person. And people said you with. Youre the first person. And people said you have with. Youre the first person. And people said you have to with. Youre the first person. And people said you have to adopt i with. Youre the first person. And i people said you have to adopt him, its going to be a constant reminder, constant all the time. And i said there was not. Its my son. It matters to me through all this because ive always been silent. Now i am a woman, a fully grown woman. My i am a woman, a fully grown woman. My son looks like his dad. But that doesnt matter to me. He still my boy, so yeah. Doesnt matter to me. He still my boy. So yeah doesnt matter to me. He still my boy, so yeah. Thats i doesnt matter to me. He still my boy, so yeah. Thats what| doesnt matter to me. He still my| boy, so yeah. Thats what i boy, so yeah. Easier. Thats what i said to my boy, so yeah. Easier. Thats what i said to my mother boy, so yeah. Easier. Thats what i said to my mother when boy, so yeah. Easier. Thats what i said to my mother when we boy, so yeah. Easier. Thats what i said to my mother when we met. I said to my mother when we met. I said if said to my mother when we met. I said if i said to my mother when we met. I said if i remind you for a second, walk away, said if i remind you for a second, walk away, and we were totally walk away walk away, and we were totally walk away my walk away, and we were totally walk away. My relationship with my birth mother away. My relationship with my birth mother is, away. My relationship with my birth mother is, we have started talking again~ mother is, we have started talking again its mother is, we have started talking again. Its lovely. And i hope there is love again. Its lovely. And i hope there is love there. But again. Its lovely. And i hope there is love there. Is love there. But honestly, every sinale is love there. But honestly, every single one is love there. But honestly, every single one of is love there. But honestly, every single one of you. Is love there. But honestly, every single one of you. Your is love there. But honestly, every single one of you. Your incredible anyway. You dont have to feel alone. And confused. And scared. Because thats how i felt. Its not that bad. You can feel a lot happier. About the subject. You dont always have to feel so sad. Not to be ashamed of nothing to be ashamed of at all and not can stop me. Hello. In the last week, many of us have had a taste of spring from the Weather Temperatures in the mid teens, even the low 20s across western scotland. In the next few days though, Spring Taking something of a back seat as colder Arctic Air Returns to the uk. Through sunday, low pressure drifting eastwards across the uk. Some outbreaks of rain, some cloud. But later on in the day, on the rear of that area of low pressure, we pick up Gale Force Winds across northern scotland, northerly winds, arctic air being ushered in that sinks all the way south across the uk through the early part of the new week. As we move into the small hours of sunday, some cloud drifting across the uk, some further rain for scotland, for Northern Ireland, and some heavier, more persistent, rain working its way in to the south coast as the night comes to a close. But with a lot of cloud around and the breeze, it will be a mild enough night. Through sunday daytime, some quite persistent rain setting in across the South East Of England and east anglia. Showers elsewhere across england and wales. A brighter day for Northern Ireland in comparison to saturday. Cloudy with some outbreaks of rain across the north east of scotland. And you can already see the temperatures coming down here. But the most dramatic effects will be felt through the earliest part of the new week with those particularly strong winds on into monday. And then the winds ease a little bit perhaps for tuesday and wednesday, but the colder air sits right the way across the uk. On monday, showers pushing down into scotland, Northern England falling snow to low levels, i think, across parts of scotland. A hill feature, i think, for Northern England. Further south its rain but it will feel chillier for all. These are the temperatures that youd read on a thermometer, so you can already see theyre down on the figures from last week. But if we factor in the wind for somewhere like aberdeen, the daytime high, when you step outside, will feel closer to around the two degree mark. The wind easing, i think a little for tuesday and wednesday, but with Easing Winds Monday Night into tuesday, clear skies and cold air, look out for a pretty widespread frost developing. Gardeners with tender plants out, definitely something to watch out for. And then looking further ahead into the week, tuesday and wednesday, quite a lot of fine weather around. But on the chillier side, more unsettled to end the week. But then it looks like well see some milder air returning once again. Live from washington, this is bbc news. Fighting intensifies in sudans capital as another ceasefire fails. A story fit for Hollywood Wrexham fc secures a return to the english football league. And the australian comedian Barry Humphries creator of the character Dame Edna Everage dies age 89. Hello, im carl nasman, thanks forjoining us. We start in sudan, where the capital city, khartoum, has seen some of the most intense fighting since violence broke out a week ago, as yet another ceasefire fails. Sudans army planned to evacuate foreign nationals, but that hasnt been possible because of the latest escalation
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