nature of an nfl locker room, it is a violent sport. nothing i experienced was abnormal. a lot of it was simply usual hazing as you mentioned when you read excerpts from my article. nothing out of the norm. but when you put an underlying tone to it where you feel somewhat ostracized or an outsider or have a difficult time relating to teammates and players, and this is typical of a guy who's probably more sensitive or soft spoken, introverted, that kind of character type, like myself and perceivably like jonathan martin, they're going to struggle to navigate those social environments, and as i did. so any kind of scrutiny or razzing that is normal in those locker room environments is -- a