on the inside because we just really didn't know how bad it was until afterwards. it's interesting because a lot of the worst of it is really in hindsight that we realize how bad it was and how much worse it really could have been. >> which is why there has to continue to be reporting and information about this. grace, you wrote for pointer at the end of january last year, sometimes i'm fine. sometimes i want to sob for hours. sometimes i just want to sleep. that sounds to me like trauma. that sounds like ptsd. do you feel like you still experience that? >> i do think so to a certain extent. there's definitely still reactions that i feel and i go to the capitol on an almost daily basis and every time i go to the capitol, i think about that experience that i had on january 6th. not only that i had, but that my colleagues had, my fellow