for me tonight and me alone. you will hear the unvarnished, ugly truth. this whole train proceeding is an abomination. eugene o'neill called mark twain, the true father of all american literature. factor described twain as our sovereign of the written word. adam sandler said, is he shania twain's brother? i get it. this is a big night for adam. it's the first award he's received where he hasn't been slimed, which is nice. you may ask, who am i to judge? want to tell you. i've known adam since very early in his career. i will never forget that moment we met at saturday night live. this is a true story. i was working late in my office on a tuesday 1919 91, and suddenly adam appeared in the doorway. his pants around his ankles. his eyes were crossed. this is true and a pencil was sticking out of his bottom. ah there he is. i exclaimed. our twain. now. adam