Is here. Mood to peter. Deductions dont get this corgi found out you can ride off 9 70 30. Oh, yeah. All that name. To the center. Thats why its on cnn. E the show. Six Susie Anderman says low as well. Yeah observer of you men. David hasselhoff. Senior girl. Puts fishies in history. Friends. Do you see me over . Schneider and boucher share me. Have to pee in his pants. Just to stay until. Its jennifer drew, but later his wife or would not getting to first base in real life. Together many jews switches channel. Its like crisis rather than. The price is wrong. Because his brother has a penis. His anger gave us. Happy. To stop looking at me. This is how you win them from standing judas beauty and we cheat. Had the training in his grave spin. Theres no one like you. No youtube. You make this laugh. Keep straight employed. You make me proud to be june. You deserve to return. So respect. 20. The smartest man alive. Prices wrong youre out. Doyle rules. Now youre all in big, big trouble. I want you to marry a girl who has the same belief as the family. I said that that why should they marry a girl . Thanks so much, mark. Lets welcome a very funny young man, adam sandler, adam over there. Two guys from a religious cult about their new restaurants of food good or what . The foul miss of. Love you, kid. You too, dad. Hes great. Greatest guy. Everyones seen how wonderful you are. Lets move on the loop could have been brought to my attention yesterday. Oy what i call quality dual. Nobody is pointlessly talk next guest. Conan obrien. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen. Distinguished guests. Family friends. And esteemed members of the Kennedy CenterMark Twain Prize committee. I come before you tonight to state in complete honesty. And sincerity. Youre making a terrible, terrible mistake. Good god in heaven. Kennedy center. What have you done . No award has screwed up this badly since the Macarthur Genius Grant was given to vin diesel. Seriously. People have not been this shock since they won a latin grammy. It was 2019 look it up. Shakira and i was killed it. Ill grant you. A lot of amazing amazing people have flown to d. C to say nice things about adam sandler. But if you ask yourself why so many of adams friends were available to speak tonight. Ill tell you why. Because when adam isnt working, they arent working. Everyone everyone speaking on this stage tonight, suckles on adams teat. Theres going to be so much milk on this floor, people going to slip on the way out. I alone can speak with honesty because ive never been in one of adams 650 movies. Im sorry. 6 52. He made two on the way in tonight anyway. Technically i was up for one role, but adam called me and said sorry, pal. I had to give that part to my uber each driver. At first, i thought, you know, its good. Schneiders working. Madman. That is two of 75 tonight, ladies and gentlemen, get ready. For me tonight and me alone. You will hear the unvarnished, ugly truth. This whole Train Proceeding is an abomination. Eugene oneill called mark twain , the true father of all american literature. When factor described twain as our sovereign of the written word. Adam sandler said, is he Shania Twains brother . I get it. This is a big night for adam. Its the first award hes received where he hasnt been slimed, which is nice. You may ask, who am i to judge . I want to tell you. Ive known adam since very early in his career. I will never forget that moment we met at Saturday Night Live. This is a true story. I was working late in my office on a tuesday 1919 91, and suddenly adam appeared in the doorway. His pants around his ankles. His eyes were crossed. This is true and a pencil was sticking out of his bottom. Ah there he is. I exclaimed. Our train. No. Adam is not mark twain. But then again, no one is that is not what this night is about. This prize rightly celebrates giants of american humor each distinctive in their own way. And in that regard no one is more deserving of this honor. But adam sandler. Adam is a uniquely american voice bighearted, joyous, outrageous, angry, absurd and more insanely prolific than any of his peers. Adams comedy doesnt preach or instruct. Like twain. Hes down in the muck with us, laughing at himself. He has creatively restless. A giant film star of comedy and drama. Who still towards the country. Like a vaudevillian. I dont know what drives adam. Frankly i dont want to know. Im scared. But he is beloved around the world more than anyone i can think of. He really is. Yes, ill be honest. Adam is a friend. We are neighbors. He has been to my house many times in one day. I hope to be invited to his. Spaces. Its great, but like Everyone Else tonight, im here because adam deserves this honor. Not for his legendary kindness and generosity, spirit. But because he is the funniest man i know. Its a thrill. To see his insane genius rewarded here. With this richly deserved Mark Twain Prize. I love you, adam. And you deserve this. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you so much for coming. It means so much that youre all here. Its a lovely to see all your faces. And im going to introduce the great henry blinker, and hes gonna say a few words. What an amazing thing that we are here at sandler burst. What an amazing thing that people flew in from all over the country. I feel like everyone here, gut. Uh invitation to a very intimate dinner with sandler. Like just his best friends, right . It was just his best friends, and then it turned out to be like 200 people still because he has that many best friends. They told me to dress nicely and then look how youre dressed. Like a down on his luck who i in detected. I wouldnt change anything about adam. Its nice, perfect the way he is. Maybe, you know, maybe your shirt every now and then. The mark twain pze for american humor celebrating adam sandler is present by wells fargo, presenting sponsor of the Kennedy CenterMark Twain Prize. Or did they discuss. Wells fargo has donated 50 million in support of indigenous peoples. Including funding solar furnaces. That converts sunlight coming to the warm house. Grandma household Traditional Center done fargo bank of doing youre doing business in an app driven multi cloud world. Thats why you choose vm ware with flexible Multi Cloud Services that enable Digital Innovation and Enterprise Control helps you keep your Cloud Options open. Heavenly father. Thank you for this food to change his name from four men, the poor man. You gotta punch like ive never seen hot stuff. Box anymore. Do you know what youre walking away from . Following god will start repossessing the property. You wont pay the bills going to win the heavyweight championship buildings. How can you beat that man after a decade out of the ring isnt losing its survival. George foreman. Choosing miracle ear was a great decision. Like when i decided to host family movie nights. Miracle ear made it easy. I just booked an appointment and a certified Hearing Care Professional evaluated my hearing loss and help me find the right device calibrated to my unique hearing needs now i enjoy every moment. The quiet ones. And the loud ones. Sound decision. Call 1 800 miracle now and book your free Hearing Evaluation for the ones ensuring the job always gets done and the ones wearing many hats. Granger offers professional grade Industrial Supplies and real time product availability. Ranger. Com or just stop by granger for the ones who get it done. Okay everyone. Our mission is complete. Balanced nutrition together, we provide nutrients to support immune, muscle bone and heart health, 25 vitamins and minerals and ensure complete with 30 g of protein. Im eva longoria and im following my mayan ancestry to the yucatan. Dont understand how excited i am to finally eat fish on a beach [ ominous Music Playing ] here we go level up your speed. Mario yea [ screaming ] introducing the xfinity 10g network. Super fast internet today. With even faster speeds tomorrow. Woohoo out. Im on it. Four imprint for certain presents a max original heavens gate tomorrow at 10 on cnn. Ive known adam sandler a long time. We both started out in new york. I think we first met around 1989. That was also the year a miracle happened for me. I was hired by Saturday Night Live. I got the job because my blood, sweat and tears finally paid off when my father called Lorne Michaels and asked him to hire me. Actually thats not true leading up to that job. I was working very hard, developing and directing my own short films. Adam was on an mtv game show playing a character named stud boy. I would fine tune my scripts go over my shot list rehearsed with the actors work into the late hours considering every aspect of my comedic vision, adam would put on a silk robe and asked contestants against what celebrity woman he recently had sex with. Both of our early creations are currently up on youtube, and its really not important which one of them has fewer than 15,000 views. Theres something about him. You know his work it just it all it all feels effortless. It almost seems. I mean, i dont want to say lazy because thats not the right word and. I dont have a better word. So for now, lets go with lazy. Under the surface. Theres just theres just so much more to it. I mean, there has to be. I mean, how else can you explain a Crazy Hanukkah Song . Thats really yeah. And its really just a list of rhyming celebrity names, and yet it goes multi platinum, and its become a holiday radio staple that my daughter forces us all to listen to. After we light the candles every year. That adam magic i bet if a different famous jewish comedic actor wrote away into your song about lets say young kipper. His representatives would call it embarrassing and beg him not to release it, even if they heard that killer opening line. Its time to atone. So lets get in the zone. I got my dick caught in my zipper. And now it is young kipper. You know what . Its adam. You cant let it bother you, right . I mean the same way. Im never bothered when people come up to me on the street and go sandler, i love you. Click save my marriage. I love it. I mean, you see him and you love him. You want to be his friend . Thats the truth. My own son is a huge fan. Hes constantly asking me. Is there any chance adam would be in this with you so that people will like it . Hes a kid. You know, its cute, whatever. He doesnt understand how this business actually works. Its not like i can just, you know, corner adam and some huge event and trying to pressure him to commit to doing a movie with me. I mean, what would the idea even be . Grown ups. Three. Theres a new grown up in town. Okay sounds kind of good title alone has people sitting up a little straighter, but then what . Right i dont know. I know. Maybe im your characters estranged twin brother. Were reunited because i believe theres treasure buried under our childhood summer camp. Dynamite hook . Sure, but then what . Okay i guess maybe then wed go out to the middle of the dead mans pond and stolen canoe and a giant Snapping Turtle would steal our paddles chopped into splinters and leave us stranded to heal Family Trauma before a Big Physical Set Piece where id say oh, i think im getting seasick and you tell me you cant get seasick on a pond. And then id argue that all boat based sickness is seasickness and youd say we are not on the c have to be getting pond sick, and that doesnt exist. And then i Say Something like, well oh, good. Thats a relief and immediately throw up on you. When you throw up on me, and id say oh, it looks like youre getting seasick too, and you scream pants sick. And thats the way im throwing up and throwing up because i had to watch you throw up and seeing people throw up makes me throw up. And then finally, maybe spade rose out to save us. But then we both throw up on him. And you know, he says Something Like, wow usually have to pay a chick 600 bucks to do that to me. Classic spade feels like a trailer moment. But you know i dont know. I havent really thought about it. But you know, as great as that movie would be, and i can feel a lot of people are here are clearly juiced on the concept. Even if i had a notarized Contract Meeting on stage is not like i would ever ask you to sign it. Although i guess it would be kind of legendary and generate the kind of you know, buzzy marketing push. You just cant buy these days. I dont know. Maybe we get the safeties to direct or all right, forget it. Real reason im here is to tell you, adam. How much i value. And since this is supposed to be the you know the sincere emotional part of my speech would like to conclude by disguising my real feelings under a silly fake accents. I wont seem too vulnerable. Oh, adam sandler. I love you so very, very much. At moments when im feeling sad and overwhelmed , wondering if i have any value as a person, or im feeling insecure about my talent or lack of it. I know i can always call you and share my feelings in a way i can with no one else. It makes me feel better the same way i feel when i have a chocolate chip cookie. Or a big board of energy now, alfredo. Congratulations on getting this very special Mark Twain Prize. Take a look at adam sandler stage television. Alright alright right there they look good. Finished a big book the other day 421 pages. Thats a lot of coloring. You know when you think about it there maybe having a little bad data. Cabdriver dont know what was wrong and were driving along and he killed a dog. He didnt have a dog with his car. He just got out and stabbed it. Open as a son who just moved to hollywood, and she asked me to help. My mom would rub the Vicks Vaporub on me and then that was an awkward moment. You know shes rubbing it on my chest and making eye contact occasionally, man. Were just good friends, you know. Im not saying i did anything with my mother. Im just saying, i think i could have house, indiana heated toilet. See, i gotta say it was made you relax came out and i said, i like that he didnt tourists. And whered you get that . He goes, i dont have a heated toilets. These emails from the kids school that i got to come in. Its terrific tuesday, come by the school and you tell the kids how terrific they are. And father literally came to school. One time he opened the door in the middle of the test, and i hear whered you put the rake . You put it on the nail. I think i did you think i got there . I get it. Ill get it there after school. No, you get it now. Mm hmm. Ill. Leave you with what my pop always used to tell me growing up laugh and the world laughs with you cry and ill give you a reason to cry, you little pansy. Very much my first might drop. Hi im Adam Sandlers former roommate, judd apatow. Im here to talk about what adam was like. Both four success. When i first met adam in 1986, wed never in a million years. Imagine Something Like this could happen. Adam is the only person ive ever known. The moment you met him, you knew he was going to be a big star, and so did adam. And he would tell you the same man is going to be the biggest, you know, they cant stop the same man. I first saw him on stage doing stand up at the comic strip. I remember he grabbed the top of his sweatpants. And pulled it up high so that the bulge in his pants stuck out. And then, he said, this is my impression of mikhail baryshnikov. At that moment, he became my friend and my favorite comedian. Two years later, we got an apartment together in North Hollywood adams Interior Design sense was simple. A mattress on the floor covered with a sheet. Thats it. I have no memory of him ever watching that sheet . I dont think we knew people washed sheets. We spent our days going to movies and writing jokes. At night, we go to the improv to try to impress bud friedman. So well let us sit at his table at the end of the night. Back then adam had so much comic energy, but he had no outlet. There were no movies. There was no Saturday Night Live so all the energy he now puts into his movies he used to put into making his friends laugh at dinner in the car at an apartment. He was the most fun person to be around. This photo kind of captures what he was like. 24 hours a day. At night, he would take this energy and make Phony Phone Calls way more Phony Phone Calls, then its normal. He did it every day. Sometimes i would come home and hed be making Phony Phone Calls by himself alone in the dark. Adam needed a job. We had our own little group, Rob Schneider lived across the street, david spade lived down the block. Sometimes jim carey would come over and try to write In Living Color sketches. I believe in himself so much that he started writing a screenplay for himself to star in even though he was basically unemployed, and no one was asking him to do this. Man needed a job. Then one day he gets a call to go to chicago to audition for Saturday Night Live and i thought, how could he be a cast member on Saturday Night Live . He doesnt do any impressions. He has no characters on staging mumbles and bombs about a third of the time. Then i got a call from adam. He booked the show. He immediately moved to new york and left all of his clothes and his wallet at the apartment. And has never attempted to retrieve him. I still have all of it. This is his drivers license, which i still have from New Hampshire. Adam did not pick it up. I dont know how he drove. I dont know what happened. A