night? >> that was calm compared to fa night. >> she was much worse that night? >> yes, she was. >> obviously, sitting here today, you are still visibly upset? >> yes. >> would you say this is probably calm to how you were reacting that night? >> i think i'm more emotional now than i was that night. i was trying to be stoic. i had difficulty processing what was going on. >> were you trying to comfort your fiancee? >> yes, i was. >> at some point, did she even have to go get air because you were -- >> smothering her? >> yes. >> yes. >> trying to get her to breath and relax. >> yes. >> jundge, leading. >> mr. stro ldelo, don't leez. >> i was trying to get her to relax and stop hyperventilation and calm down. i was explaining to her it was self-defense. we were not in trouble with the