I want to know it all. I spent half my life working with the criminal justice system. And i have seen lives devastated by violence. We would like to imagine that after the verdict the story is over, the victim and the offender are never meant to meet again. But for some, the only way to move forward is to come facetoface with the person who shattered their lives. Back in oakland i have a lot of history here. I was here for 15 years. Im here in the bay area to meet an old friend and find out why he wants to meet the man who took his daughters life. You all ready to have some fun. Doney lazy is known for two things. Hes an entertainer. There you go. And heesz als also an activ no more life can be spilled on the streets. Highest price is life and more than anything we must value. When his daughter was killed in 1987 the impact went well beyond this. Came to terms with the death of 16yearold loeshe gun do you understand last night in this van. She was perfect kid that was never in trouble. Sits in the wrong car and gets killed. That scares every parent in the bay area. Her murder got wall to wall coverage for weeks and it was a real wake up call for this community. My brother. Brother van jones, whats happening, man . Whats going on . Thank you, man. I appreciate you, brother. Oh, man, this is bringing back a lot of memories, man. Its a different west oakland. These kids are so used to seeing their contemporaries murdered. Im still gone to more funerals than weddings in oakland. Tell me about your daughter. She was just a special kid . Yeah. And even how she was born was special . Yeah, i delivered her on 580 freeway. Her moms water broke about 2 in the morning. Yeah . She was driving and said im having this baby. I said i know honey thats why we are on the way to the hospital. She said no im having the baby right here. In the car . In the car. She was panicking and i was trying to keep her calm. Relax, honey, i can drive and deliver and i got this. And i was driving and pulling. And i pulled her out real gently to her shoulders. And then if propelled she dove on the floor of the car and made a splat. And her mom picked her up, i remember i looked at her it was like i saw the face of god. The name of a person describes the attributes of that person. So i picked two words, loeshe, which is the name meaning love. And then esha which means life. And i put the two together loeshe. Means loving life. I loved her. Me and her mom separated at when she was about three years old. We were so proud of her. So ironic someone thats a peaceful kid ends up having their life taken by a bullet. Walk us through what happened. On october 20th, 1997, i was in los angeles at the improve in hollywood. I was about to walk into the club, and i got a page from my wife, and it was like 911, 911. And i called her. And she was crying uncontrollably. And i kept saying what is it . And she couldnt speak. And then she said loeshe is dead. I dont it was i didnt i didnt understand what she was saying. And then i just kind of lost it, man, i remember i just ran down melrose until just sprinting down the middle of the street in traffic. And i was just thinking at that point i just wanted revenge. I dont know if its every parent, but for me i want to know everything. And some things i know from the police report, some things i dont. My girl was like boss. Maya and porsche, those were probably her two best friends. Maya was in the car with her when the gunfire happened. And ive been trying to talk to her about that night for 20 years. But its always a difficult conversation to initiate and approach. I remember the first day i met her. We were in third grade. You met her around the same time. Yeah, third grade at hoover. She was the life of the double ditch party. And we worked at mcdonalds. Thats right. She got off work around 6 00, a young man who they knew in the neighborhood saw them and offered them a ride. And maya sat in front next to the driver in this van. Then loeshe sat behind the driver. And then they stopped right across the street from her high school. And for four assailants ran up in front of the van shooting at the driver and did about 40, 50 rounds, and he ducked, and she caught seven bullets. She was the only one who didnt survive. And the crazy thing is she was in the front seat and she told me to get in the front seat. That would have been me. Because she was i never knew that. She said, maya, lets switch seats. I said for what . And the guy she was dating at the time, she said well i dont want him to see me and get jealous. I said, well, okay, you know. Oh, boy. But i dont want you to carry that around no more. You cant do that to yourself, baby girl. I know. Ive been wanting to talk to you about it for a long time, you know. Yeah. Im so proud of yaall, because ive seen you all as snotty kids and noup you are grown women and have kids of your own being responsible. Thats what she would have wanted. Yep. Youve already been through a lot. For you to go and sit across from somebody who took your daughters life, you dont have to do it, man. Thats what a lot of people have been telling me. Some have even been telling me dont do it. Why are you doing it . Ive been just imagining when we make eye contact for the first time whats that going to be like for him and whats it going to be like for me, you know. Im not going to bring her back, but i want to know it all. I have all these questions that i want to know. Why did they shoot off 40 rounds or whatever it was . Why were they so angry at this guy . Why . Why . Why . And there are some things i want to say to him that ive been carrying around. As the one who is always trapped beneath the duvet im begging you. Take gasx. Your tossing and turning isnt restlessness, its gas gasx relieves pressure, bloating and discomfort. Fast so we can all sleep easier tonight. Last year, the department of Veterans Affairs partnered with tmobile for business, to help care for veterans everywhere. With va video connect, powered by tmobile, men and women who serve can speak to their doctors from virtually anywhere, and get the care they deserve, so they can return to their most important post. Best friend, quarterback, or just dad. The va provides the care, tmobile provides the coverage. [spanish recording] so again, using para, youre talking about something that is for someone. Pretty good. Could listening to audible inspire you to start something new . Download audible and listen for a change. Is your floors best friend. Only roomba uses 2 multisurface rubber brushes to grab and remove pet hair. And the roomba filter captures 99 of dog and cat allergens. If its not from irobot, its not a roomba. Iand i dont add up the years. But what i do count on. Is staying happy and healthy. So, i add protein, vitamins and minerals to my diet with boost®. Boost® high protein nutritional drink has 20 grams of protein, along with 26 essential vitamins and minerals your body needs. All with guaranteed great taste. And now try new boost® peaches and creme natural flavor. With 27 vitamins and minerals and 10 grams of protein. Boost®. Be up for life™. For me, this is a familiar journey. I spent a bunch of time in san quentin. My organization the dream core still runs programs in san quentin so ive been to this particular prison a lot. And the thing about san quentin is, if you want to transform yourself, there are programs there. I mean, people go, they volunteer, they try to help. Some people take advantage, some people dont. This is the fame tus san quentin yard. Yeah. What am i looking at . You have the fellows playing soft ball today. How much time do the folks get . Every day. So well go over to these tables over here. I was raised in oakland, california, all my life since i can remember. The truth of the matter was my experience through my lens, there wasnt no good part of oakland for me. It was just rough. Whats up . You got a ball. The closest that i had to consistency for my life was playing Little League baseball for the city of oakland. This was the closest that i got to meaning. And thats something that i grabbed on to. You know, obviously, to take a human life, thats something that is hard for anybody to forgive or even maybe forgive one self. How do you want up pulling a trigger and a young woman dies . October 20th, 1997, i was 16 years old. The war was going on between rival gangs, milton street and ghost town. I got the call that my best friend Christopher Fletcher had been shot. My gang was everything in the world to me. Everybody had participated in this war up until this point except me. And everybody looking at me like, you aint doing nothing. Now, these same people that i perceive as family, they are turning their back on me. And i got myself in the mix. Whats going on, who is doing what, when is it my turn. Thats when it started. Around seven or eight 00 we just rolled around the area real slow. And if we seen anyone of them well kill them. I was given a 12gauge shotgun, and all of the shots started ringing out simultaneously. Thats it. I did it. Did you think the car was empty . Did you think anybody else was in there . I identified the vehicle as being the enemys rival gang vehicle. But if you are shooting into that object, you know inside that object is people. I want to know how you make sense of that in that moment. I identified the vehicle, not so much the people that was inside. Yes. Although yes i could see there were people in the inside. And then you find out what . The next day i found out that loeshe lacy, a childhood friend and school mate of me was shot in her face and died instantly. I also found my friends and classmate maya nelson was in the passenger seat. She suffered gunshot wound. And dow the intended target suffered a flesh wound to his arm. And i found out the very next day. When the whom shied detectives pikds me up apicked me up and s questioning me about the murder. I just gave up. I didnt want to fight no more. The reality of what was going on came crashing down on me. Homicide detectives. When i was in cacarcerated, i w still an insecure kid, little chris. I didnt want no one to see i was scared because scared means that you are weak, and weak means that you can get taken advantage of. So what i did was reinforced the same gang beliefs, the same attitude, the same image as i did as a kid in ghost town that got me to prison in the donald into the room and see the man who took his daughters life. As a father i dont know how would i react. Why would you want to do this . Im not the 16yearold kid i was 20 years ago. S16yearold k i was 20 years ago. C16yearoldd i was 20 years ago. Ar16yearol kid i was 20 years ago. E16year kid i was 20 years ago. D16yeard kid i was 20 years ago. 16yearold kid i was 20 years ago. [music] bonvoy. Bonvoy. Bonvoy. Bonvoy. Bonvoy. Bonvoy. Discover the new language of travel. Marriott bonvoy. 30 hotel brands. Endless experiences. Rewards reimagined. Another wireless ad. Great. Endless experiences. So many of them are full of this complicated, tricky language about their network and offers and blah blah blah. Look. Sprints going to do things differently. And let you decide for yourself. Theyre offering a new 100 total satisfaction guarantee. Try it out and see the savings. If you dont love it, get your money back. See . Simple. Now sprints unlimited plan comes with one of the newest phones included for just 35 a month. So switch now. For people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay. Com but super poligrip gives him a tight seal. Snacking can mean that pieces get stuck under mikes denture. To help block out food particles. So he can enjoy the game. Super poligrip. Weve transformed this home to show the keurig kcafe brewer makes any house a coffee house. Just pop that in for a coffee or brew a shot and froth milk for a latte or cappuccino. Easy peasy. Now shes a barista its so frothy. A little piece of heaven. Thank you. But hows the coffee . Listen to your mom, a knuckleheads. Hand em over. Hand what over . Video games, whatever you got. Lets go. You can watch videos of people playing video games in the morning. Is that everything . I can see whos online. Im gonna sweep the sofa fort. Well, look what i found. Take control of your wifi with xfinity xfi. Lets roll now thats simple, easy, awesome. Xfinity xfi gives you the speed, coverage and control you need. Manage your wifi network from anywhere when you download the xfi app today. Closed captioning brought to you by i wanted to introduce donald lacy. Hes our empty for t see for th. Thank you. Being an artist ive always dealt with consciously related themes. Im from oakland. Im talking about old school oakland when oakland was the best city in the planet. When you went to the Coliseum Drive in to get your swirl, it was like motel 3 and a half if you couldnt afford motel 6. I had a great mom and dad. How many children have children, round of applause . Beautiful parents. [ applause ] see, i grew up back in the day where we all took care of each other. In those days, it really was a village involvement and everybody helping raise the young people, unlike it is today. I always say that to the youngsters, i mean, i wish i could show you the oakland i grew up in it. Whats up soldier . Always has his briefcase. This man is about his business. Police say it was the conflict resolution mediator on her campus at the high school. I remember the teacher who was the adviser to the program told me, she said, mr. Lacy, your daughter could negotiate any squabbles. Sometimes i wonder what impact she would have made on the world. No more lives can be spilled on these streets. The highest price of life is the highest price and what we much value above everything. This touched an i flo nerve in community. It was like a flash point. I wabtded to use the momentum to do something. Reporter in the aftermath the teenagers father turned it into a crusade. Lacy has started a foundation, love life foundation. If you can rear them in the heart their mind will follow. Ive seen other parents like me who have lost their kids and ive seen the animosity and those negative feelings do to people like me and i didnt want to be that person. The way i wanted to get back at those people was to make sure that something good happened. I realized that the meaning of her life was the meaning of her name. Loeshe. Love life. One, two, three, love life. Love life 87 years old, my mother, she left me and my two younger brothers on some Apartment Building stairs and said you wait right here, ill be right back. I was eight years old. She left me hand my younger brothers on the apartment stairs until the next day. By age eight my mother developed a real bad habit of leaving me and my two younger brothers at random places with her complete strangers and said her classic ill be right back and my mom didnt return for weeks. I remember a time where i was so hungry like starving, me and my two younger brothers just walking down the street, and i seen a jackinthebox bag on the ground. Ants and stuff crawling over t and i remember it like it was yesterday. And i was so hungry that i went into the bag and i ate the chondstuff out of the bag, the stuff, and i remember eating it first to see if it was okay before i gave it to my two younger brothers. I felt as though i wasnt worthy of love from anyone. Im just so proud to know each and everyone of you guys, man. Man, you guys are out of sight. You are smart. Brilliant cats. A lot of the young men who i mentor and who ive met over these 20 years, most of them dont have fathers. All the Authority Figures or adults in my life were somehow some way letting me down. At 10 or 11 years old i just said forget it. At this point in my life, my gang was everything in the world to me. You got to always be aware of your friends. You know, sometimes your socalled friends can lead you down the wrong path, right. Right. [ yelling ]. Donald lacy and christopher, you know, we are getting close to the time where these two guys are going to be facetoface. Uhhuh. What do you expect . I expect there to be a lot of emotion. This is the crux of Restorative Justice. What is Restorative Justice . So Restorative Justice is an alternative to punitive justice. The idea is victim or survive or centered. Say that we get into an altercation. Say that i harm you. Instead of saying the state against corinna, the idea is what does van need for repair . What do you need in order to be restored . Whats good about that . So whats good about that is that instead of the state determining what you need, youre telling us what you need. Donald lacy came to the office of victim services, which is a department of the California Department of corrections, they then come to us to me at in sight prison project and say we would like to initiate this process. Then we start by meeting with the victim. And then we contact the responsible party or the offender. Well, somebody might say this is just being soft on crime. Now im supposed to hold hands and sing couple buy a. What do you say to people that feel that way . I would say this is it really hard work. This is people telling truth about the hardest worst day of their lives. Again, the piece around Restorative Justice is centering the voice of the victim or the survivor. And so often that voice is lost in the process. I was in oakland when this happened. I mean, this was front page news for weeks and weeks. Yeah. Donald lacy is a household name in oakland because of this murder. Is christopher aware that this is one of the biggest cases in oakland ever . Yeah. How does that hit him . It weighs on him. It weighs on him. Im a very good judge of character. I can sit in the room with someone in five minutes and know what their about. I expect to know him from this meeting. That is one of my expectations. I would say that im not my crime. Everyone is entitled to their own perspective. But im not my crime. With verizon up, we won luke bryan tickets. It was amazing. So we are walking through the crowd. 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As a Financial Health coach, i help people every day. I try to put myself in their shoes from my own experience. I connect to them because ive been there.