Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20160202 : vimarsana.com

COM The Daily Show February 2, 2016

See ya next time, everybody so im supposed to press menu, then function, then enter. Captioning by captionmax www. Captionmax. Com from Comedy Central world news headquarters in new york this. Is the daily show with trevor noah. [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] trevor welcome to the daily show. Im trevor noah. Thank you so much, everyone. Our guest tonight founder of girls who code Reshma Saujani is here, everybody. [cheers and applause] trevor i know a lot of you are closely monitoring the results from the Iowa Caucuses right now. Thank you for taking time from Martin Omalleys surprise Victory Party to watch the show. I appreciate it we will get into iowa later. Have full coverage of the caucuses tomorrow. First, i want to take a moment to talk about danger, people. Because danger is all around us. Whether its a Zombie Apocalypse or mythical things like global warming. And now a new threat is in town. The zika virus. You know the zika virus is a lot like soccer. A mild cuter in the u. S. But its [beep] in brazil. [laughing] worth Health Experts call it a rapidly rising crisis. A estimated forty two hundred babies born with small heads and no brains. There is no treatment. Rash and red eyes. President why put red eyes he t the end. You dont use a sim stop that you can get from weed. Today the World Health Organization dubbed the zika virus a major virus. We know who to blame, white people no moss sweet oefplz. The virus is rapidly spreading through mosquitos. President im as progressive as the next guy or girl. I have to ask is it okay to be racist against mosquitos. They have ruined the neighborhoods we lived in. They move in and everything changes. You have been to a pond around dusk recently. I dont feel safe anything anymore. I dont. Do we own this planet or not . What is crazy is some officials are afraid of offending mosquitos they plan to fight zika by eliminating humans. Officials in columbia asked women not to get pregnant this year. Other parts of the country asking women to put off pregnancy until to 18. President easy for you to say. You have seen south american women lately. Not get them pregnant for two years. Two years is a crazy amount of time not to fall pregnant in south america. It is a great time to have the anal conversation. It is. But baby the government. They said so. [laughing] trevor now not only is zika threatening reproduction but its threatening threat itself. There is a case of possible transmission through sexual con ta pts tact. More evidence is needed to determine if zika can be transmitted sexually. Trevor time to own up people, who has been blowing the mosquitos . This is getting serious, people. We need to do something. Fortunately one country refuses to lay down and surrender to these bio terrorists. It t two hundred and twenty thousand brazilian solders are going house to house trevor good for you, brazil somewheres two hundred and twenty thousand troops. It may suck being in the brazilian army. You make it into the special forces and they hand you a fly swatter. Your general is this guy. [laughing] trevor talk about unconventional warfare. Can you imagine the battle scenes. A guy going down. Im hit, ahhh, its itchy go on without me. Tell shakira i lov i love her. Thats you zika is affecting south america. Here in north america its a little different. The travel advisory for pregnant women to avoid these this hours. We were looking forward to get ago way from the cold to a hot tropical def destination. Sort of a baby moon for us. My main concern is canceling the flight and receiving some sort of a refund. Trevor yes, of course your baby moon. You poor poor relatively rich woman. For those who dont speak privilege. A baby moon is a honeymoon you take before having a baby. Its the last trip you take before youre the worst part of everyone elses vacation. I just thing this [ applause ] president this whole thing is hilarious. Everyone else in the world is reportinreporting this a threate population. In the American News its like, i have to cancel my vacation. Lets move on. As you know today is the first day of black History Month. [ applause ] president yes. Trevor which is weird for me. Back home every month is black History Month. Come to africa now a lot of people dont know this. The daily show has been running for century. A lot of secret tapes out there. This month we decided to open up the daily show archives and take you back to the moments of black history we offer you this daily show flack back. February 1st, is the of a its the daily show black History Month show. Welcome to the daily show. Im trevor noah. My guest tonight up and coming comedian bill cosby. This guys jokes are going to knock you out. We begin in selma, alabama. If youre not familiar with sell la its a small Southern City northeast of no negros please and five miles north of say boy. And today dr. Martin luther king jr. Got into legal trouble there. The reverend Martin Luther king jr. Was arrest today leading po 0 negros to the stkal as courthouse protesting voter registration. The negroes were taken into history for not having paper mit. Why the white people so afraid of us voting. Not like we can ever vote for a black man. For more we go to our junior civil rights correspondent. Roy wood jr. What did you see there. A bunch of [beep]. Proud negro men and women be ago rested for no reason. The police said there was a reason. They were parading without paper mit. Im sorry did the clan fit out their paper work before marching in my neighborhood . When you have seen white people paraded without paper mit . Thats the world we live in. Black people wont get the same treatment as white people. That wont change. Trevor, i disagree. You have to look at the bright side of things. The Police Arrested dr. Martin luther king and our brothers and sisters without violence. Forty years ago a white man wouldnt give a black man water. Now we can get it if we want it or not. We have gone from lynching to beatings to now peaceful arrests. I hear dr. King is coming back next month to selma to march across the bridge. At the rate we are making it will be a fun day marching on and on with the police. One day there will be a movie about it selma, the day when Nothing Happened at all. That sounds like a great movie, roy, and great news. We could see this policing behavior spreading across country. Except chicago. Not chicago, roy. The civil rights is working. It will take a lot of time. My guess is racism will be over by is the the 0. I think so. Black people will have what they need. Evening like money, education and most importantly respect from the police. Yes, trevor, that date is coming. sirens . That day isnt today. I have to go, trevor. That maybe the last time we hear from roy. God speed. We will be right back. We will be right back. Phr u[ applause ] rootmetrics, in the nations largest independent study, tested wireless performance across the country. Verizon, won big with one hundred fifty three state wins. A t and t got thirtyeight, sprint got two, and t mobile got, zero. Verizon also won first in the us for data, call speed, and reliability. A t and t got, text. Stuck on an average network . Join verizon and well cover your costs to switch. Dan doesnt know him or him, or half the people crashing his big game party. But he knows why theyre here to watch the game on this. With help from a blue shirt at best buy, he got a colorful samsung suhd tv. With four times the resolution of full hd, the best seat in the house is in dans house. And home field advantage, has its advantages. Bring home the win, at best buy. All samsung tvs on sale. President welcome back to the daily show everybody. we said the iowa caucus is to the. Most democratic and republican races are down to the wire. This weekend president ial candidates wept across the state to make final appeals to voters. Except donald trump. He just flew over the voters. Trevor thats a real video. Thats what he did. Most people laughed their [beep]. Thats all it takes to get trumps public excited in my opinion if youre doing a fly by do it spectacular like denzel would do it. It would of been great if he kept going and crashed into a school next zoo. Then trump comes out from behind everyone saying, it was decoy plane andco then, yes. Wait, the school. Whatever, yeah. So, caucus results will be in tomorrow. Lear with background on what we will be seeing is ronny chieng, everyone. Thank you, trevor. I look into iowa, it turns out iowa is like a kardashian there is no real for the obsession, its just how things are. For months its been 24 hours this. We are reporting Iowa Caucuses. Iowa is very important. The hawk eye state. Iowa. Iowa. Iowa. The candidates have been kissing iowas ass sko hard as so Many Campaign stops they have now deep throated every fried food on a steak in existence. Its not just disgusting its weird. Iowa is tiny. It has six times more pigs than people. Iowa is a kwoeupbt farm thats the 0 white people. Most of them are friendly old baseball ghosts. So why are these politicians risking heart attacks and diarrhea to pander to these people . Maybe because its the single event where democrats and republicans choose a final president ial nominee. No thats [beep]. It would make sense for at tension iowa gets. No, i totally made that up. Why people really care about iowa is after all of the months of poles and ads and can he debd speculation, and whatever this is. The iowa caucus is the first time people go out and vote. Ya, remember. Voting. Like the reason for all of this in the first place. So iowa is special because its voting first. Its first for a good reason. Studies show people in iowa have better judgment then average americans. Iowas brains being 10 larger. I made that up too. Iowa goes first because its something they started to do in the early 1970. Thats what this was state of the art. Iowa hasnt updated how it runs the caucuses either. I guess thats part of the charm. To me its ridiculous. Thats coming from me a kpwroepb man holding a tiny pig in a tv studio. Instead of regular sroegt republicans write names on bits of paper. Like picking wins of of president Mike Huckabee and rick santorum. Some how Iowa Democrats are even less organized. Look at these people theyre picking a president by shuffling around a gym until they find people that feel the same way about abortion or private email service like they do. The secret isnt who wins but who loses. Someone can come in third and still be president. More than that, you have to go back home to your job as a loser senator or governor. So, in short, trevor, the iowa caucus is a around of survivor. Instead of being on a trap cal island with a strabg tiff people its in attractive people its being here with these guys. You dont have to eat. That. I cant stop eating fried butter. Oh, man. Ronny chieng, stop eating. We will be right back. Stop eating, ronny so you cant post pictures. [screams] how does it feel to not be connected . My chest hurts. Let me show you a better way to keep connected. The 2016 chevy cruze offers built in 4g lte wifi ® that connects up to 7 devices. Current qualified gm lessees can get a sign and drive lease on this wellequipped Cruze Limited for around 179 per month. Find new roads at your local chevy dealer. This is me talking to hela policia. Cancun. This girl . Totally sweating me. And uh, i dont even remember taking this one. You realize this is a job interview. I know, i wanted to show you how proficient i am in social media. Well be in touch. Excuse me. Hello . Hi, im just following up on the interview. Dimpatient. Dim and impatient. Hunger keeps inventing new problems, so we invented new snickers crisper. Samsung pay to get al katzs deli pastrami sandwich. katzs employees hey hey whats up . Hey can i pay with my phone . You mean like apple pay . We dont got that. No like samsung pay. Kind of works everywhere. Even on this janky old thing. He wants to pay with his phone. Whadda ya want hannibal . I want to pay with my phone. Dont look at the cameras mike. You ready . It doesnt work. Watch me. Boom oh samsung pay is here and pretty much everywhere else. Okayits chewy. His . Really icy. Wooh. Thats intense it just hits you. Its gum. No. Its totally a mint its disappearing as i am chewing it. Where did it go . Its not a gum. Not a mint. Its a breakthrough in cool. Ice breakers cool blasts. Under starry skies above. Of miles, dont fence me in. Let me fly any time, any airline that i love, dont fence me in. Give me a mile and a half for every buck i spend. Double my miles when the first year ends. No annual fees, no blackouts, let the fun begin. Dont fence me in. Get the discover it miles card. He said he had a big screen. I cant see. Dipetizer coming in hot. Spicy queso, delicious. I love watching football here. Best game day ever. Any party can be a great party with new tostitos spicy queso dipetizers. Text mom. Ill be right back. Be good. Boys have been really good today. Send. Lets get mark his own cell phone. Nice. Send. Brad could use a new bike. Send. [siri ] message. You decide. Theyre your kids. Why are you guys texting grandma . It was him. It was him. Keep your family connected. Appconnect. On the newly redesigned passat. From volkswagen. Trevor welcome back everybody. My guest tonight is the founder and ceo of the non profit organization, girls who code. Welcome Reshma Saujani. [cheers and applause] president trevor people love. Welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. Revor i guess it was the foforright timing you have girlo this program and the president was talking about the importance of this. What got you into this . Youre not a coder. Im not a coder. I was running for office in to 10. I saw hundreds of boys clamoring to be the next ceo or mark sucker berg. I we have 1. 4 million jobs in computer and technology. There are no women in tech. Soy started girls who code. It was an experiment and we have turned it into a movement. [cheers and applause] we have taught, this year we will teach how thousand girls in almost every state in the country. Trevor its fantastic. You know what is interesting about this in the early p o zi red the first coders were women. Women got into coding of computers. Then what happened along the line . How did the women go out of it . Yes, the foundational woman who created the industry were women. In the wil eighth eighthys the. You think of weird science the nerds, we have a programmer myth of a brogrammer. Trevor yes. A dude in a hoody. A cool hoodie. Little girls look at that and say i cant relate. That doesnt look i like me. You cant be what you cant see. Trevor we need barbie coder, Jessica Jones coder. We need girls who code. Trevor i feel i see it in tv shows. Like in criminal minds. Yes girl with a dragon taxer ta too. Yes we are lobbying to change hollywood and media. These guys writing the shows have stkauters. They see what happens in eighth grade and girls are opting out and they want to tang it too. Trevor lets talk about the school system. Youre not just talking about girls in coding but schools focusing on coding as part of the curriculum. Its not normal in america. No, only one in ten schools have Computer Science. Thats part of what the white house move is so important. Kids should be learning java. Only one percent of Computer Science test takers are girls. If girls study in high school theyre more likely to major in it in college. I think its the most important issue of our time. Trevor why is it important. Because girls will build awesome things and change society and the world. Let me give you an example. We have a syrian refugee who built an app to get people to polls. A 16yearold developed to help save lives. A girl who is latina buildings a app called whacky worlds. She had the courage to build for someone else not herself. They are looking at the community and the world. They think how can i use technology to make it better. We need them. Its interesting. [ applause ] trevor its interesting how you frame it because when you think about it people code apps for what they think the world needs. If youre a middle class white man your needs are different from a minority or female thinking of the world in a different way. You get a sraoeuft apps you dont normally see. Yes. We will teach how thousand girls this year. They constantly think about their world. Maybe they have a brother who is autistic or a mother who is abused. They went to nigeria and saw women who dont have access to water. They find coding and then apply it to something they see in their life. I believe when we empower girls to code they phraeubgt world better. I want to be part of. That. Trevor how can people get involved. If they say this is amazing, i want to get involved and help you. What can they do. Right now our Summer Program is open. We have two programs. One buildings classrooms for technology companies. Those applications are up now. If youre a High School Girl, apply. If you have a daughter or sift whore is a High School Girl get her to a phraoeufplt were looking for teachers. Part of obamas initiative was to make sure we have teachers to train. Young girls raising their hands and saying, teach me. We are recruiting teachers. Check out the website. Girlscode. Com. Trevor its an amazing initiative. Its now open to the girls who code. Visit girlswhocode. Com for more. Reshma saujani, everybody. 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