Was, in fact, jewish. Isnt that amazing . But how did mel gibson know he was jewish . Did the cop walk up and go, mr. Gibson, do you know how fast you were driving, mr. Gibson . My partner and i, we were shvitzing. Enough already with the swerving and the going and the doing and the having. Thank you very much, everybody. Thank you so much. I had a wonderful time. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] captions by vitac www. Vitac. Com ready to go. Ready to go. Ready to go. Ready to go. From comedy centrals World Headquarters this is the daily show with jon stewart. [the colbert report theme music playing] [cheers and applause] jon welcome to the daily show my name is jon stewart. Good one tonight jason baitman. Bateman. Fine actor, funny man. We begin in congress where the senate wanted to get a quick discussion of possible gun control legislation. Quit looking at the philosophy of not enacting any gun regulations. If you look at why our Founding Fathers put it there, they lived under the tyranny of king george and they wanted to make sure free people in this new country would never be subjugated again and never have to live under tyranny. Jon or democratic decisions they dont agree with, you know, thats what the guns are for. So the idea is guns are a bullworth against dictatorship. Why else do we need guns . What people all over the country fear today is being abandoned by their government. Jon the wait, what . The im lost. You could find yourself in this country in a lawless environment through a Natural Disaster or riot. Ma rawing gangs going throughout the area looting stores, looting, robbing and raping. Jon if you close your eyes Lindsey Graham delivers a pretty good Tennessee Williams you dont understand there are mauraderes out there and me here on a staircase in only a neglig, we just my parasol and julep to protect me. Looting robbing and raping. They may be a gang but you have to admire their ambition. Thats a maurading gang going places. [ laughter ] we need guns to protect us on a government on the verge of fascism and impotence. Hasnt gone either way, but it could. No one has suggested disarming the pocket. Thats the point. Were talking about restricting certain military style weapons as we do with tanks, businesses and i dont know napalm. What is wrong with that . Im holding in a hand a pistol grip. Under this proposed legislation if this piece of plastic, this pistol grip were attached to this rifle, it would suddenly become a banned assault weapon. Jon actually its suppose tbed a picture of an assault weapon which even under obamas rein would still be legal. Fair point there are arbitrary aspects and silly aspects to the legislation that perhaps a young faced fresh legislator clearly eager to shape legislation could shape. Maybe dont make it about the grip but fire rate magazine size. We hear that nobody needs larger magazines that thoses that use to shoot deers but an attacking criminal unlike a deer shoots back. Jon unlike a deer, someone hasnt seen bambo. Lyme is the disease, bambo is the cure he really looks a lot like a kangaroo right there. Thats like a kangaroo imitating cleopatra. This gun control discussion is off to a standard and redundant start. Are there any new arguments that can push the assault weapon ban forward. Young women are speak out as to why the ar15 weapons are the weapon of choice. Jon worst jdate profile entry ever. [ laughter ] thats gun activity gail prado. She has a story to tell why ladies need ar15s. I would like to begin with the compelling story of sarah mckinley. Home alone with her baby she called 911 when two violent intruders began to break down her front door. Ms. Mckinley fired her weapon fatally wounding one of the violent attackers. The other fled. [ laughter ] jon powerful. Anecdotal but powerful doesnt go to the fact that you are according to most studies for more likely to be hurt by a gun in the home than use it to protect from an assailant. Quick question, she used a remington 870express 12gaig shotgun that would not be banned under the proposed statute, correct . I dont remember what type of weapon she used. [ laughter ] jon you dont remember. You told a James Joyceian story about the lady and the robbers. You dont remember the gun, ie, the only detail relevant to the hearing. It was a nonbanned weapon, a shotgun. Why do you need an ar15. The peace of mind that a woman has as shes facing three, four, five violent attackers, intruders in her home, with her children screaming in the background, the peace of mind knowing she has a scary looking gun gives her more courage when shes fighting hardened violent criminals. Jon when did it turn into three and four and five. Jeez, where did she live the alamo . What are you talking about . Lets move to the nra proposal. Well move to something more mainstream. Universal background checks. Obviously we have some background checks. Its how encompassing do you do it . Do you do it to a father selling to a son, or another relative. How do you cover everything . I think thats the issue. And also the extent of which you have private sales on sunday between relatives. [ laughter ] jon im not going to pass judgmenten judgment on a culture which is foreign to me but is that really how it works, sunday is family gun swap day . Is that how it goes . I have to get out more. Anyone else have a reason. When it comes to background checks, lets be honest. Theyll never be universal because criminals will never submit to them. Jon good point lets pass laws that only criminals will immediately obey. Lets do that. What is this thou shalt not kill. Murderers will bypass that. Theyll find a way around it. [ laughter ] i dont know who to trust here. I know the main lobbyist for gun manufacturers has a unique insight on to whether background checks work. Lets ask you, why do you think . Background checks work. Jon says you [ laughter ] Baltimore County police chief. Back it up. They stop nearly two million prohibited purchases between 1994 and 2009. Extending a background check to all firearm purchases could easily be implemented and it should be without delay. Jon you say that and they say it doesnt work at all. Humor me, lets say for a minute background checks will work, any other reason not to do it . I just dont think lawabiding people want every gun sale in the country under the thumb of the federal government. Jon except that literally almost all of them do. Including almost all americans living with a member of the nra. I know a gentleman who makes a wonderful case for universal background checks. Lets talk about what is reasonable and what is not. We think its reasonable to provide mandatory instant criminal background checks for every sale at every gun show. No loopholes anywhere for anyone. Jon wow, background checks used to be supported by 100 of waynes la pierre. That might have been the last ] jon welcome back. ] so as president obama is pushing for new gun regulations, he is struggling to gain credibility to skeptical gun owners. In a recent interview with the new republic magazine he mount a frontal attack. He was asked if he shot a gun. He said, yes with his guests at camp david he goes skeet shooting all the time. Jon yes, all the time. [ laughter ] you can barely hear yourself think over all the shooting of skeet. This seems wrong on many levels. For starters he appears to think the best place to reach out to gun owners is the pages of the new republic. A bit of a tell i was telling ms magazine that i love nascar and i myself driven multiple dodge chargers. Nothing will work. Youll get this every time. We do skeet shooting all the time. Really . All the time . Has anyone ever heard president obama owns a gun, likes to shoot and shoots all the time. Dont you have to prove it . There are no photos to prove it. Why are v we not heard of this. Where say picture. They release a photograph of president obama doing everything except for flossing. [ laughter ] jon why wont the black have the country lives in fear of release a picture of himself holding a gun . I dont understand, it would be everyone at ease. Why wont he do it . [cheers and applause] to be clear, this will is skeetgate. Cnn white house correspondent. How often does the president go skeet shooting and are there photographs of him doing so . I would refer you to his comments. I dont know how often. He does go to camp david with regular later but im not sure how often. Jon is there a photograph of him doing it . There may be but i havent seen it. Why havent we heard about it before . Jon its funny you havent heard about it billion because i it falsely shows him as a gun rights sympathizer so we can abolish liberty and i assume but im going to have to check on that lax laugh i dont get it. By the way, with the whole does he shoot guns, does he not shoot . Since when did the ability to fire a weapon become a badge of honor . A patriotic achievement . All you need is a finger. Merit wise it ranks right up there with this. The point is, mr. President , what are you doing . Why try. As far as most of your opponents nothing will ingratiate you to them. As summed up in the dr. Seuss classic oh, the people who hate you. May i . Let me turn over here. I got this they do not like you barack obama whether on a train, a plane or llama. [ laughter ] they do not like you shooting skeet, they do not like you eating meat. They do not like you drinking beer or even if i rope a steer. They wont like you with the monster trucks because, young man, they do not give a bleep . They do not like you when you pray. They did not like you antigay. They do not like you cutting tax. You could not stand when you we are your mommys slacks. [ laughter ] you cannot reach across the aisle because everything you do is vile. They complained when you killed owe psalma so on a train or plane or lamba, rolling a 44 at bowlarahma despite your nice white kansas mama, comma, they do not like you, barack obama. Well be rightack. Back. [cheers and applause] jon welcome back. My guest tonight new film is called identity thief. Dont shut door, leave it. Now, this is his favorite part. He likes to be humiliating verbally. No i dont. You sissy boy. Thats enough of this. Sissy boy. Its time to give him the big show. Boom boom no need for the show. Put it back on. Whoo whoo whoo jon please welcome back to the show, jason bateman. [cheers and applause] magic magic. You are a magic man. You are a magic man [cheers and applause] i mean theres nothing worse than a quarter standing ovation. Good lord, thank you for leading that. [cheers and applause] jon im working out how were going to edit around that. How are you . The movie, Melissa Mccarthy did you see it . Jon the movie is great. It lags a bit hey. Jon do you remember the old sonny and cher show . I do not. Jon cher was a comic. She was a rocket to the stars. You could not hold her back. When she was on camera it was electric. Am i sonny, goddamn it . Jon there was a bass player in the band. [ laughter ] oh jon sonny also had a little something. I was feeling pretty today. Jon do you like my colon loved it. Jon you were great together. Its a great interplay. Shes not crazy. Which is number one for getting along with a costar and having good chemistry. L. A. Does not al tract a lot of world beaters. Specifically the entertainment industry. By definition were looking for attention. Jon its a narcissistic pursuit to some extent. Stop cutting me off [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] jon edity around it. Edit around it. That was a tiein to the narcissism. Jon thats exactly right. I think they just enjoyed the slam of it. Shes so darn easy to get along with and shes funny and shes professional and she works hard. Jon she also. I asked her also about you. I dont want to run the clip obviously because you have a long flight home and i dont want to do that to you. Did she think she was working with nathan or Jerry Oconnell . I get it all the time. Jon brecken meyer. I get him, too. Jon do you really . I get justin three times a week. Hey, justin, i love everything you do. Buddy, you dont know my name. Jon why justin. I think they do a hybrid with justine that comes out justin. Jon i they drop the silent e. I was thinking its a little timer lakey. You bring the sexy back. Youve been doing it for years. And jon, can i sing. Jon are you a triple threat. Can i have a segment i i dont sing. Jon can i ask a question do you have time to stick around and go to the web . [cheers and applause] because this is one of those unusual nights where i cant stay. I have its nothing against you theres [ laughter ] theres a gastroenter rolings that i go to on the Upper East Side whose office hours are meshuggenah but im glad you could stay. Or if you need that colonoscopy. Jon you are a quadruple threat. You can sing and do a colonoscopy. Its fun to play because you are just funny man. In the movies on the talk shows. Hey, man. Jon its just good and you and melissa are really good there. The movie turned out very, very well. Im very, very proud of it. Jon do you have 20 seconds . Sure. One of worst experienceslife i was just no, no,. I was watching a tasteful movie one of high broa films i i like to go to with my wife. Jon i understand. Are we talking about tangled . And a trailer comes on for a film that im not particularly proud of but i was in it. [ laughter ] and it will go nameless. [ laughter ] and a gal a few seats down from me. The preview happens its not getting a great reaction from the crowd. Goes to black getting ready for the next trailer. Silence in the Movie Theater where you hear a smart ass pop off. Shes sitting to my right and she goes, anyway and i so badly because i like to have the last joke of the trailer, too. If i leaned forward and said, not for you . I wanted to just triple bitchy but i was just too mortgageified to move mortified to move. Jon justin bateman, ladies and gentlemen. Its in theyre at thises friday i