Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20130204

COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart February 4, 2013

You like just like, you got me, buddy which is Pretty Amazing cause i have all the words. laughter yeah, and that doesnt look like any of em. I cant even make a guess thats so screwed up. Whatd you like pass out and whack your head off the keyboard . Please tell me youre not that stupid. All right. Thats it for me. You guys were a lot of fun thank you very much captioning made possible by Comedy Central. Captioned by mccaptioning services. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new new new yors is the daily show with jon stewart. [daily show theme song playing] [cheers and applause] welcome to the daily show tonights guest is say big one. Al gore will be joining u. His name interestingly enough an adagram for galore. Thats meaningless. On the minds of everybody, Illegal Immigrants they are americans. All other countries are like america, how do you get your food so cheap and lawn so mowed. You must tell us your secret. [wis whispering] its illegal. Weve been divided over what to do about immigration. Democrats proposed comprehensive reform which republicans had a different name form. When he says comprehensive reform he is talking about amnesty. Jon republicans were against it and accused others of not being against enough. Ive always been against amnesty. You are or for amnesty. You had an op he had in the newspaper saying you were for it. Jon your wife has a dressage horse named amnesty. Yeah in the next debate you wont be able to name three Government Agencies you would like to close. They talk about amnesty like its a deviant seal practice. What i call backdoor amnesty. [ laughter ] jon weve all applied for that. [ laughter ] no amnesty, fine. What would you do about immigration . As your congressman on the house floor ill do anything short of shooting them. Jon anyone else . [ laughter ] i will build a double walled fence. 20 feet high. Gonna have barbed wire on the top. Its going to be electrocuted electified and a sign on the other side that says it will kill you. Jon and the sign will be in english. [ laughter ] ah thats why the events of this week came as such a surprise. A major breakthrough on Immigration Reform leading senators from both Political Parties to agree on a path to citizenship. Jon why the sudden change republicans, perhaps you looked into your hearts and realized people willing to risk worth and doing our least glamorous work are worth at least a little dignity. Look at the last election were losing the spin yak vote. Jon okay. Thats a reason. Not sure thats the reason you are supposed to say out loud but youve come a long way. Youve come away. The arch of history is long but it bends towards shamelessness. Whenever everything intense happens in the Latino Community things emotions rub high. Were joined by al madrigal. He is here in his panic room. Actually jon its one word hispanic not his panic. [ laughter ] jon Senate Republicans reporting live from the demographic reality in this country cooperating with a bipartisan and comprehensive Immigration Reform bill for electoral purposes. Your thoughts . What a moment for hispanics, john. To see jon. To see republicans in a last ditch desperate attempt to ensure the existence of their Political Party finally reach across the aisle with one hand while uses the other to hold their noses its a great day. Forced at last, forced at last, thank god almighty forced at last. What a day. [ applause ] jon thats a pretty cynical i have to say its pretty cynical political calculations. Yeah, sure is. Jon i guess the question is will it work . Will this bring hispanics in larger numbers to the Republican Party . Lets crunch some numbers. Lets get down in the weeds. By the way, who better to get down in the weeds, right . Jon i get it. Mexicans. [ laughter ] jon right, mexicans. The weed bleep . Jon all right, just go. Jews are cheap. Jon all right. There are many, many stereotypes just continue. Here we go. Obama beat romney about five million votes. Thats with romney having won 27 of the latino vote which means if romney managed 17 mas the inauguration would have looked like this. Jon wait, what . What is going on with ann romneys hair . Those bangs were happening no matter who won. [ laughter ] jon does this immigration bill make up for past slights . I mean, gain the republicans the extra 17 they need . Theyve been hard on the hispanic community. Probably not, jon. The problem for veabz that while over 90 of republicans is while over 90 of hispanics support Immigration Reform a full 65 of latinos hold grudges. 83 if its something you did to their sister. [ laughter ] jon al, how long would a grudge like that typically last . What would it take for hispanics to get over the grudge . A latino grudge on average lasts just over four generations. So right there jon i get it. All right. [ laughter ] italian, irish jon makes sense. The good news is that a latino generation is only seven years. Jon i didnt know. That to get to 51 of the electric tour rate theyll have to electorate theyll have to the republicans. Pull some votes of previously offended demographics. Jon 93 of africanamericans voted for obama. Perhaps pull some from there. Thats a possibility. I got this, al. That is never going to happen, jon, never. Jon theres no way the republicans can chip away at the african vote. That ship has sailed literally jorchghts yes, sir, nothing is written in stone. Thats true. I mean maybe the republicans could have a conference where they talk about outreach to minority voters. Jon right, right, that could help. And maybe they could hold that minority out reach conference, um, i dont know earlier this month at a former virginia slave plantation never going to happen. Jon i forgot about that. I dont know how the hell she got in here its called the hispanic room. Not young black chick room. Jon al, where are republicans going to get the vote . Maybe asians, i dont know fiscally conservative gay people if thats even a thing. Or possibly hawaiian pranksters but look, it still wont get them over the top. Jon romney lost the female vote by 11 points csm they make inroads there . Its a possibility. I could see again, i got this. Role 212 if its a legitimate rape the female body has ways ways to tro shut that whole thing down. Never gonna happen. Jon thank you very much. Jessica williamndu0qna qqq2dda s [cheers and applause] jon welcome back. My guest former Vice President of these united states. His new book is called the future. Please welcome back to the program al gore. [cheers and applause] sir [cheers and applause] interviewer thank did. Thank you. Jon how are you . I am fine. I love that opening skit. Hiss tear call. Jon we prefer to think of it as sketch. Skit is fine. The kids will understand. The book is called the future by and theres your name right there. Given the sale of current to the people who sold it to you perhaps its pronunsed algore. Al jazeera. Youve taken a lot of guff for that for selling to qatar. Im proud of transaction. Its going to be a positive addition to the u. S. Media landscape. They do a great job. Jon are they keeping some of the current programming . Are they replacing it with other things. They are keeping a lot of the same people. They have all news all the time, no commercial breaks. They have a terrific reputation. Theyve earned respect. Jon you know who else does that, no commercial breaks cine dlrks max though the News Division is not as tight. Pbs newsed to do it without commercial breaks. Jon but enter this Macarthur Foundation came n. Qatar is they are the guy you are poster boy of sounding the alarm over Global Warming. How hard is that when you see manhattan flood do you sit back and think to yourself like, i told you. No, no, no. [ laughter ] jon is that i a difficult think to wrap your head around . Look, this thing is so serious and so beyond the tradition yam boundaries traditional boundaries of what were used to dealing with. I wish the scientists whose wisdom i have delivered to people had been wrong. They wish they had been wrong. But, you know, were doing it. Were putting 90 million tons of Global Warming pollution every day into the atmosphere as if its an open sewer. It traps more heat every day than well, the equist lent of equivalent 400,000 here hiroshima bombs every day according to a scientist. This impacts all the rest. We have to do something about it. And, yet, you know, earth inc. , it relines fossil energy for 85 of all the energy and it will take time. Solar energy, wind energy, efficiency are coming down in price rapidly. A lot of countries are moving towards a carbon tax or cap and trade or both. Even china now has a pilot. They are announcing the pilot for the National Program in two years. Jon right. Theres reasons for optimism but we have to get busy about solving them. Jon thats here is the confusion for me or the difficulty. We have to get busy solving it. There were things you could do, take a shorter shower, lick your children dry. [ laughter ] all those things you could do but the difficulty of doing it there room in can mobile al gore who has current tv and sells it to qatar which is an oilbased economy, can mogul al gore coexist with activist all gore and is that al gore and is that if you couldnt find for your business a more sustainable choice to sell to. I think it is sustainable. What is not sustainable about it . Jon a nonfossil fuel based buyer . Look. They have the highest quality, most extensive best climate coverage of any network in the world. Jeff godell tweeted today on what al jazeera is doing on climate coverage. They are very, very good. Jon the bar is not high. The bar is not high. Jon we dont have Climate Change coverage in america. Its maybe beginning to change since superstorm sandy. Think about last year we went through this lerks election leer which happened to the hottest in the country. 60 in drought. Big fires in the west, superstorm sandy, 110 billion in climate related disasters and we had all these president ial debates, not one single journalist in any of the debates asked any of the candidates a single question about the climate crisis. That is pathetic. Jon i dont think theres any question about that. [cheers and applause] no question. So here you have an awardwinning network that has a established its reputation for excellence that does terrific climate coverage. They want to come in here and give 24 7 commercial free outstanding news reporting and give coverage to the climate issue, why not . Jon that i understand. Thank you. Jon you already have. Current was a News Organization that could have zn don that. Without could have done that. Without deep pockets. Being an independent. Im proud of my partner and i did. We won awards. We were competing as independent without deep pockets. As the come glom rates want to advertise to consumers they do that for free across this aisle. We have to pay premium dollar. We were profitable every year but we got to a point where we could not keep going. We had to sell. This organization has earned the right to be respected for what it is. And in any decision, jon, you have frozen when i did the diligence. Jon this is my point though. Pros and cons. Cost benefit analysis. One of major factors. Yes. Jon would be i would think sustainability. You had an opportunity to make a statement probably about your principles and some people would feel, and for me as well, i thought it was an odd move not because of some of the original things but because its backed by fossil fuel money. I get it. It was an easy choice after doing the diligence on the network itself. Jon can you see how people at home would think hes asking me to make choices about light bulbs and a cost benefit analysis for the purpose of sustainability when i just want to see my book. Thats the issue. Theres nothing that is unsustainable about a network with this reputation jon its the backers. Its more where it comes from. They are a strong ally of the united states. They have announced a commitment to shift to reknuble energy. Theres a renewable energy. Theres a visionary plan yeah with solar and wind. To build on the solar and wind resources in that region and feed into a transcontinental network into western europe. Theres activity going on. They are one of our strong probably our strongest alley in the ally in the arab world. Secretary clinton said al jazeera is not part of the problem but the solution. Im comfortable with it. I completely get the criticism but it was a good choice and the net benefit for the u. S. Is positive. Jon it shows. The book talks a lot about the sustainability of capitalism. Capitalism is based in consumption and very difficult to reform it even while its being one of the staunchest defenders of sustainability. My point was only in how complicated the ties are. I get i. Its complicated. I completely believe in this. Its absolutely the right choice. If i could talk for a moment about sustainable capitalism. Jon were going to go to i believe beer and violent movies and then well come back and talk about sustainability [cheers and applause] jon welcome back. Were talking here with Vice President al gore. Were talking earlier. Its one of the most interesting pieces in the book is this idea of sustainable capitalism. Yes. Jon which is difficult because its look by definition a voracious overeater. [ laughter ] what does that mean and as difficult as that is to practice because again you could have sold it to somebody not involved in oil but you wouldnt have gotten as much for share hold yerchlz i have a responsibility for shareholders and employees. We have two powerful tools to shape the future. One is democracy and the other is capitalism. The alternatives to democracy have been tried to and found disastrous. The alternatives to capitalism have been found wanting. We know it balances supply and demand, more conseussive of higher levels of freedom and unlocks the fraction of the Human Potential but its associated with market disruptions bigger and more frequent, shortterm decisions that really hurt the economy, with the mismeasurement of value, misalignment jon theres Collateral Damage to a winners and losers mentality. The short termism is one. Thoughts were held on average for serches years now its less than seven months. 60 of the trade and in london are by these al gore algorithmis flash trades. We have the flash crash where the market drops 1,000 points and back again they have no idea what happened. They proposed a new rule, my friend joe stigletz says offers to buy and sell have to remain open for one second. [ laughter ] that proposal was rejected. Jon when has time . Were talking about a second. Absolutely. Capitalism the way its operating now really needs to be reformed. Our democracy has been hacked. Its been taken over. It no longer operates the way our founders intended it to because anonymous donors, big money, corporations as people, might makes right, the lobity lyists and special interests are in control. They cant do anything without begging permission from the powerful special interest. Its time we take our democracy back. Kit be done. [cheers and applause] it can be done. [cheers and applause] jon here iser is what were going to do. Can you stick around . Yeah. Jon the future. Well talk with the book and the complications and the difficulties of it. Al gore will be then thedoueuko

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