Congressman aaron schock is resigning from congress. I do this with a heavy heart. He said the constant questions over the last six weeks have proven a great distraction from has made it too difficult for me to serve the people of the 18th district with the high standards they deserve which i have set for myself. Jon really, really really . The constant scandal questions are too much of a distraction. Not the zip lining through a rainforest or parasailing in argentina or chilling with Buddhist Monks in myanmar. You served three terms in congress while apparently also competing on the amazing race. But its the questions that have you all [bleep] up. I cant work like this still i imagine resigning is the hardest thing schock will ever have to do except for perhaps cleaning out his desk. Anybody know the best way to bubble wrap fee santa feteders anybody . I have to say i didnt think it would come to this. Questions about taxpayer funded expenses including 5,000 dollars for a replica of the president ial podium. He used taxpayer money to take a private plane to a Chicago Bears game. Taking ten staffers on a weekend trip to new york. Also reportedly took his interns to an out of state katy perry concert. Jon oh now wait a minute dont boo come on, the interns cant go to an instate katy perry concert. Im sorry i may just be an intern, but im also a fire and thus i must see katy perry in a state where fireworks are while schock had been questionable. Really . Really thats what you were waiting for the little over the shoulder . We got us some greeters. Breeders. While schock spending had been questionable, it didnt necessarily seem prosecutable. He billed the u. S. Government for 1 170,000 miles on his personal car. Here is the thing when he sold it last year politico says the vehicle only had about 80,000 miles on the odometre. I think i know what happened. Congressman schock simply drove his tahoe 90,000 miles backyard backwards because he knows as a cross fit enthusiast its healthier burns more calories promotes neareau muss caw lar efficiency and is easier on the wheels. You think schocks a bs are sick, check out his car. I mean that congressman why did you have to ruin your fun maybe fraud party with what appears to be actual fraud . You went from the cool ra to the shady guy mike wallace would corner at his office to expose on television. This is my sins things. Jon those are his things. This is certainly an embarrassing episode but at least at least his parents are standing firmly by his side. Ten years from now whatever he is doing he will be successful at i promise you that. Two years from now he will be successful. Because if hes not in jail. laughter jon listen to me dont sell him short. Even if he is in jail i think he will be successful there as well. He can be the baddest ass in the whole clinker man. Not only will he cut you hes going to instagram that [bleep]. For more on the story we go to senior Congressional Correspondent hasan minute handle in washington. So happy minaj in washington. Here is the thing if nothing else you got to feel bad for the congressmans father. No. I dont feel bad for his father. And i dont feel bad for the taxpayers. You know who i feel bad for. Jon no. The interns. Jon what . Yeah, they were living the good life jon. And now theres no more roman candles out of cupcake boo bs. What do they have left . Jon so he doesnt take interns to concerts they still get College Credit and a resume boost the typical nerdy aspirations that makes congressan al boring. With wants that after you felt the thrill of the schocker jon i dont pretty sure thats not the schocker. Or well okay. Okay. Point is i understand. Okay. Cant those interns transfer to another Congressional Office . Wouldnt that yeah thats going to look great on instagram. Here mi with representative sensenbrenner when he reads the bill i just photocopied for him. Do you know how many likes thats going to get . Jon no. Zero. No kid deserves zero likes. Jon you know hasan i really think theyll be fine. They will they will be fine. Because you can make a real difference in the life of a former aaron schock intern. I started a trip did trip starter to send the interns to all the excursions they would have gotten to go on if schock hadnt resigned. Im talking about coachella about spring break in cancun and im talking about the harry potter theme park at universal studios. Jon dude, dude let me tell you something thats like your [bleep] hogwarts it is unbelievable. It is it. Jon even when its hot out and there is still wearing the sweater. Its unbelievable. I mean, but now these poor interns will be forced to live as muggles. Unless you chip in. Jon, for a one time donation of just 156,000. Jon wow. You can help a dying kids wish come true. Jon theyre not dying. Theyre just arent we all jon . I mean technically arent we all . Jon i guess so. I mean you faster than most. Jon all right, thank you. Hasan minhaj everybody well be right back. Great rates for great rides. Geico motorcycle see how much you could save. Kelloggs® krave a totally different breed of chocolate cereal. Wicked crunch outside, creamy real chocolate inside. Krave cereal. Chocolate chocolate. Yum yum jon welcome back. Big election in israel last night, well technically for them yesterday, but you no know with the time zones and day lighted savings really the hebrew calendar but the elections are done. Israeli Prime MinisterBenjamin Netanyahu is celebrating a big election victory. Celebrations under way in israel. The white house not exactly thrilled. We can assume. Bibi bounced back to win the election. There are no champagne corks popping at 1600 pennsylvania avenue. There is a great headline in the New York Post today bb bibi king. I know. Jon yes last night Benjamin Netanyahu apparently defeatedback bam. Barack obama. And the palestinians. Finally republicans found a conservative that could defeat obama. But you know obama hours later still hasnt won seeded. Dow happen to know has he received a congratulatory phone call yet from president obama. As of an hour ago he had not. How long is it going to take the president to call. Right. Netanyahu. Has the white house made any comments about that . Not yet. I think its really interesting, the president has not called with a congratulatory phone call. Jon you never call . You never write. I win an election and yet i sit by the phone really . You find it interesting . You find it interesting that a foreign countrys Prime Minister who came to congress against the white houses wishes [bleep] on a nuclear deal the president spent years working on wouldnt receive an immediate postelection atta boy really . I cant believe fred hasnt called me to congratulation me on my new car. You mean the one you hit him with. laughter jon maybe the president s in schock. Really . I got to tell you i dont know why we did the rest of the show, we should just put pictures up. You guys are loving that. Maybe the president s in shock. You know, a lot of people didnt think netanyahu was going to win this one. Could israeli Benjamin Netanyahu actually lose his bid for reelection. Hes in serious trouble. A lot of people in israel are clearly very up set about the economy. Income inequality and living costs are big concerns in this election. Average house prices here have gone up by more than 50 since mr. Netanyahu came to power six years ago. Well, of course its more expensive to live in the city. Just wait until you move out not settlement suburbs, i mean suburbs. Come on, stewart you can do this so how did netanyahu sway the voters. Economic stimulus package tax reforms housing subsidies. He appealed directly to the extreme right in the spectrum of israeli politics. He went to tell Campaign Meetings in settlements in the occupied west bank areas that he has never been seen publicly. Netanyahu yesterday said on his watch there is not going to be a palestine. Theres not going to be a twostate solution. Jon holy [bleep] netanyahu just decided to go full settler. laughter the only the only i will let you read those for a little bit. How to the right did netanyahu go . Prime minister netanyahu released a Youtube Video today accusing his opponent of bringing what he called huge amounts of arabs to the polls to vote against his likud party. The right wing government is in danger. Arab voters are going to vote in droves. Left wing groups are bringing them in buses. Jon how dare you. How dare you gin up racist fears of minority turnout for shortterm political gain. Thats our thing. laughter you know what . Now youve got a Copyright Infringement suit on your hands, pal of course that upsetting turn towards the worst basic fears of instinct was before the vote. Now that he won can act like it never happened. And to all the citizens of israel jews and nonjews alike, you are all important. And you are all important to me. Jon now. If i said anything different before, laughter im just ambitious. Thats the real message of last night sent for all politicians. You know that stuff you say in private your core beliefs, prejudices you try to hide from people because you fear society would shun you, it appears all you have to do is turn into that kid. Remember this . The 47 without were with him who were we believe that they are victims without believe that government has a responsibility to care for them. Jon instead of when that becomes public pulling one of these. Well what i am saying is that the words that came out were not what i meant. And what i mean, i think people understand is that if im president i will be president of 100 of the people. Jon haminan hamina. The real message is go id or go home. I believe the government has a responsibility to care for them. And in case you didnt get that on your little recorder over here, here is what i am saying the the poor are stealing our country. And if obama begins wins a moocher will marry your daughter and then your grandkids will be half moocher, is that you what want . No so vote for me. Now round up the poor and use them for and you Better Believe there is a racial kpon enterto all of this. Jon congratulations, president romney. Well be right back. The lightest or nothing. The smartest or nothing. The quietest or nothing. The sleekest. Sexiest. Baddest. Safest,. Tightest,. Quickest,. Harshest. Or nothing. At mercedesbenz we do things one way or we dont do them at all. The 2015 cclass. See your authorized mercedesbenz dealer for exceptional offers through mercedesbenz financial services. Brookside chocolate now has a crunch. Brookside crunchy clusters crispy multigrains and sweet fruitflavored pieces dipped in rich dark chocolate. Discover brookside crunchy clusters. I bring the gift of the name your price tool to help you find a price that fits your budget. Uhoh. The name your price tool. Shes not to be trusted. Kill her. Flo it will save you money the name your price tool isnt witchcraft and i didnt turn your daughter into a rooster. She just looks like that. Burn the witch the name your price tool a dangerously progressive idea. Introducing york minis. A bite size way to enjoy the full size sensation of peppermint and rich dark chocolate. York minis get the sensation. Jon oh my guest tonight very funny man his new movie is called get hard. Wait what happened to my tennis court. Dave you no longer refer to this area as a tennis court from this point on this is the yard. Understand something, dave. The yard is the most deadliest part of prison. You got to step carefully because if you step in the wrong place at the wrong time you will end up in the wrong territory. A person like that you cant fight, its not a good thing dave, not a good thing at all. Okay, darnell. Who is darnell . You are . My name is leroy. Yeah, i say walk right boy, walk. Im walking. Turn around and walk. Im walking. Lev laugh. Jon please welcome back to the program kevin hart cheers and applause how are you sir . Whats going on . Jon nothingness. Nothing whack do you mean. Jon so good to see you again. Good to see you, man. Jon so you have got some movies. Yes, one. Jon youve got other movies. Thats some more stuff. Jon but what about what about kevin hart the kevin hart i fell in love with the standup comedian. Whooo. Jon kevin hart. Is that kevin hart still thats my favorite kevin hart. I love that were talking third person. Jon how many kevin harts do you know. I dont know. But you made me figure out there is a lot of me. No the standup kevin heart is hart is very much still alive. I currently am doing a world tour right now called what now. Jon when you say world tour you mean world, what is the longest you have been out of the loop on staun. What is the longest the longest. Jon you have gone without. You know what after let me explain let me explain i feltz like i raised the bar so high for myself. Jon yes. It did a mading amazing things. Jon it was great, it was great. Thank you. We did Madison Square garden. I sold it is out twice. Emotional moment for thee. Theatrically released it did amazing numbers at the box office. I said if i come back again i have to come correct. I cant come halfway. Jon and you didnt lose your mind. Like it seems a koij when you reach a certain area like that, when you can sell out Madison Square gaernd, a lot of comics lose their mind. And go im going to come back. But this time im go tokai drummer. They come back and like they put on the elvis suit and like now im doing music. Youre like what happened. What are you doing man what happened. They get confused like that. But youre talking about making your standup getting even more pure with your standup. Yeah, yeah. I felt like i you got to feel growth. Stand up comedy i mean right now, this particular tour, this will give me my fifth section. There is grown little man there is seriously funny laugh my pain, let me explain, and now what now. They all go with eacher. I was a growing little man. A growing lyle man. I felt like i had to tell people that i am seriously funny. Its for real. After that, i said you know what you guys all laughed but you done realize what are you laughing at is my pain. Let me put my pain out there. Jon right, right. And give you something to laugh at. That with my dad being on drugs, my mom passing away. Then after that i made a lot of things that i consider mistakes for myself. Divorce me getting another woman and getting flack for that i got a dui at one point. These are things that i felt like. Jon i didnt real how [bleep] up you are. No, i am a mess im a complete mess. Jon you are. Its like you just realized holy [bleep] kevin harts a complete mess so i felt i was like let me explain you know. I fell. Jon and but it is its your way of processing that information. Yes. Jon and what you have done. Very much so. Like me going me doing let me explain that was my way to give directly and contact with the people that support me. You hear things theres blogs there is the media there is critics that say all this stuff. Well thing about doing standup we have a direct connection. I have a microphone i have an audience that sees me, i will beat everybody else to it by explaining it myself. Jon dow ofever worry by making better choices for yourself by your life you are taking away good material for your act . Yeah. That has been a concern. Jon i wonder about that. It has been a concern. Jon right. Thats why you have to throw some dumb [bleep] in there once in a while. applause jon its so true. I say no man you just got to clean it all up man you got to straighten out. Jon you have to do some dumb [bleep] every now and again. The reason i call this what now because that is the question i get the most. Kefer in what do you want to do now, what now what what up, what now. Jon you have done everything. If people first of all im still alive. Which means that. Jon . Jon always a plus. Which means im still experiencing things. I travel im a dad. I am about to get married again. My house my living situation, did i do too much . Did i get taken advantage of . Am i going crazy, am i crazy . The questioning and rerequestinging of where i am in my life is so refreshing because its legal. Im honest. And i think thats what my fans love the most. The fact that you relate to this guy. I dont want to get up there and talk about bricks of golds that im thinking about buying. You cant relate to that. But what you can relate to is plea taking a [bleep] in the airport and somebody kicking in the door to take a piss. Thats a true story, by the way. Thats a very true story. One of the most embarrassing moments in my life right there. What do you do. I was sitting there and im looking at him, the first thing you want to do is cover up. But then then are you angry so you got to process and i ended up being fully exposed, it was a lot. It was a mess. Then you Call Security. True story i Call Security and in the middle of telling security what happened i realize, i look like the idiot here. Im like im like im in a stall. He kicked open the door. I am standing up like get out, get out and the guy is like so you stood up off the toilet. You didnt you didnt just close the door back . laughter jon all right. Turns out youre to the going to run out of material. Im telling you man it gives me the itches to get back on starj its been too long. What dow mean . Jon i just itch to get back on stage. Why dont you get back on stage . Jon im lazy. No, i was doing this and then the movie, and i didnt have any extra time because i also thought you know i wanted to also sleep or i will say this okay i will say this. Jon yes. And this is a fact right now. You work a lot, you do a lot. Jon yes. There is a demand, there is a demand for your time. From a lot of people whether it be family whether it be coworkers, just the business in general. Everybody wants a piece of your time. The standup and the stage is the one thing that separates you from any and everybody else that period of time are you on stage. That is your therapy. Jon i have to stay with it that is my therapy that is my muse. You have to get up and talk. Why would you turn away from that. Jon would you adopt me . No no i cant. I cant adopt you. Jon why not, i will give you good material. [bleep]. No. Jon ill take pictures of you in the bathroom. Kevin, its always so good to see you. Always, man, i love seeing you. Jon kevin hart. The great kevin hart. Kelloggs® krave a totally different breed of chocolate cereal. Wicked crunch outside, creamy real chocolate inside. Krave cereal. Chocolate chocolate. Yum yum can a truck change how people feel about a guy . We talked to real people, not actors. We showed them two pictures of the same guy in the same location. The only difference. The vehicle behind him. Which man is sexier . Truck, truck truck that one has way more sex appeal. This guy is definitely the guy your mom wants you to marry. And this is the guy your going to run off to and leave him, to be with him. You know you want a truck. The all new chevy colorado. Motor trends 2015 truck of the year. Every cookie here at left twix® is extra crisp so it stays crunchy when we apply caramel and chocolate. Right twix has the same thing. They have packing tape like that over at right twix . Try both. Pick a side. Twix before earning enough cash back from bank of america to help pay for her kids ice time. Before earning 1 cash back everywhere, every time. And 2 back at the grocery store. Even before she got 3 back on gas all with no hoops to jump through. Katie used her bankamericard cash rewards credit card to stay warm and toasty during the heat of competition. Thats the comfort of rewarding connections. Apply online or at a bank of america near you. Jon thats our show, here it is your moment of zen. Here is jack. Go ahead. Good morning im calling from belair california but im original from originally from west philadelphia. A couple of guys who were up to no good essentially started causing trouble in my neighborhood. Again for the first 45 minutesing iran sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org afqnzstar buck is taking on racism. Hey starbucks i hope youre better at racism than you are at spelling my name. [laughter] the preacher is asking parishoners to pay for his private jet. Which raises the important question. When exactly did jesus start a hiphop label. [laughter] have mega churches gone too far. When your place of worship sounds like the name of an evil transformer youve gone too far. [laughter] your prayers have been answered people by the powers invested in me i now pronounce this the nightly show. Lets do this. [cheers and captioning sponsored by Comedy Central applause] thank you thank you thank you. There it is. [chanting larry larry] very nice, thank you. Exact same thing i say in the mirror every morning. Wellal to the nightly show im larry wilmore. Question. When you order starbucks how do you like it, grande, venti, double shot of awkward conversation. Star bucks new campaign its call race together. You get a cup of coffee and they write race together. They want their baristas to engage in their customers in this bigger conversation about race. Hold on starbucks, youre talking about race. Thats what we do on the nightly show. All right. You getting