Inflated. Lets do this cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers larry thank you. Thank you very much. Appreciate it. I like larry, larry yeah. Thank you welcome to the nightly show. Im your host larry, larry. Okay, now, whos pumped for super bowl sunday . cheers and applause okay, okay, okay. Here you go. Heres my super bowl prediction. Going out on a limb, going out on a limb. Heres my prediction eye will be drunk by the coin toss. cheers just saying. Wake me up for katy perry thats all im saying. laughter all right, now this has been a rough year for the nfl with all their offthefield scandal, so its got to be a relief for fans out there to finally have the scandal on the field. The socalled deflategate scandal. The nfl is investigating allegations that 11 of the 12 footballs that the patriots used in their a. F. C. Championship win over the Indianapolis Colts were underinflated. That would be an advantage since underfrom thed footballs are easieser to grip and catch. Larry okay, all right now i know you guys are expecting me to do a gratuitous ball joke here, and as tempting as it is, you know, frankly, thats all ive been hearing for the past week. I really dont want to traffic in that. So thats why i asked these guys to do it. You have 30 on the ball clock. Okay, get to it. What do tom bradys balls balls and Federal Reserve have in common. They both fear inflation. Why did tom brady go to the university of michigan . Judge y . He got rejected from ball state. Eye priest, rabbi, two deflated balls walk into a bar. What happened the. The priest fondled the deflated balls. Whats the worst job in sports . Sucking the air out of tom bradys balls. Whats the only thing that could come between tom bradys deflated balls and the super bowl championship . Whats that, the giants, twice. Hey, ricky my balls are so big. How big are they . Theyre just big man. Larry okay thats enough, thats enough. Great job, guys. Give them a nice round of applause. cheers okay, all right. So how did the man at the center of deflategate handle this . Mr. Bundchen . I dont know what happened. I mean i i i have no explanation for it. Larry i do. You cheated. Okay . applause just like when your team got caught in 2007 illegally spying on other teams. Thats not bad, though. I mean, you went seven whole years without a cheating scandal. laughter for the patriots thats a pretty good run. Not bad. But anyhow, back to bradys nonvigorous denial. Is tom brady a cheater . I dont believe so. Larry wait. Un youre tom brady, right . You know theyre asking you that question right . Because you said i dont believe so. As if youve never met yourself. laughter and you should meet yourself. You have a very hot wife. applause now, it sounds to me like hes lying wait, wait, wait wait. You know what . Play that for me one more time. Is tom brady a cheater . I dont believe so. I mean i feel like ive always played within the rules. Larry okay, guys, let, all right, this is not lying, all right. We have Something Else here. Im going to have to break this down for you in a whole different way. Un this show is all about telling the triewrkt or as we call it, keeping it 100. applause thank you very much. Now, but whats weird about brady is that this doesnt feel like a lie but it definitely doesnt feel like the truth. Hes keeping it 70. laughter applause now i know this is new, but stay with me. Keeping it at 70 is where you mean what you say but you dont say what you mean. Okay . Right . So when he says, i dont believe so, he means because i know so. Right . laughter right . And when he says, i feel like ive played within the rules, hes leaving out, that i set for myself. Okay . Okay. Now, to help you better understand keeping it 70, let me show you what an athlete keeping it 100 looks like. Im the best corner in the game. Thats the result youre going to get. Dont you ever talk about me larry see, see . Thats 100 right . I mean do you know how scared america was for that white woman . Oh, my god. Whoo people arent used to athletes being 100. It is the opposite of making us comfortable. Okay . So keeping it 70 is the nfls gem. Take for example the Washington Redskins, a team with perhaps the most offensive sports nickname since the old 1880s Baseball Team go home you smelly irish quimsticks. Go fighting quimsticks. Well, Redskins Team owner dan snyder doesnt want to change his teams super racist name. What is a redskins . A redskins is a football player. A redskin is our fan. The Washington Redskins fan base represents honor respects pride, hopefully winning. Larry dan, dan, when you keep it 70 like this, this is what happens. Happy now, the nightly show . Happy now, dan snyder . Keeping it 70 goes further than the nfl. Tiger woods was surprising his skiing lady friend lindsey vonn on the slopes when he apparently had an accident. Tiger woods talked about the bizarre accident that resulted in him losing a tooth. And the dude with one of the video cameras on his shoulder kneeling in front of me, stood up turned and caught me square in the mouth. laughter larry okay, heres the problem, see, tiger keeps it 70 so much even when he might be keeping it 100 i dont know if i can trust him. Hes like the by boywho cried 70. And im not the only one who feels that way. Tiger sticking to his story despite the fact Race Organizers told the press no official reports were filed and there was no such incident. Larry a tooth . Do you know how much trust has to be lost for us not to believe you about a tooth . Wheres the tooth, tiger . Tell me what happened to the tooth okay, look, another one, now lets take lance armstrong. Now remember he lied about the whole steroid thing, then he finally got caught right . Heres what he said recently. It was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Id probably do it again. Larry no, no no, no. Lance armstrong kept it zero his whole career, and now hes trying to crank it up to 100 . Even on steroids, you cant go from 0 to 100 that fast. Were just not going to believe anything you say. Ironically, if he had just crewed at 70 the whole time, hed probably still be racing. But then to be so cavalier saying hed do it again, that takes a lot of balls. applause come on. Come on, guys seriously i had to make one ball joke. Oops, did it again well be right back. Its the family plan families are flocking to. Now at tmobile, get 4 lines for a 100. With unlimited talk, text, and up to 10gb of 4g lte data. Switch to tmobile. Get 4 lines for a 100 today. Thats a terrible call dont settle for unflavored crust. Make the right call with pizza hut. That crust is incomplete. And you know it phil. Rex ryan . For a limited time, get the ultimate crust flavor with the triple cheese covered stuffed crust pizza. Made with premium cheddar, aged asiago and parmesan. Try a large for 11. 99. Not again. Only at pizza hut. Welcome back to showdown im jerry rice here discussing the big race between the tortoise and the hare. My guest is stephanie branton. Jerry, im going bunny. Shocker. Not really. You see, the hares thoracic limbs allow for greater extension and elongated strides. Look for the hare to leverage this advantage. Ok. [ male announcer ] give extra. Get extra. cheers and applause larry thanks were back. Were talking talking about lying in sport. Joining us on the panel tonight, from the lead with jake tapper, jake tapper. Jake larry and host of foxsports. Com no filter, katie nolan. Cohost of race wars podcast, comedian sherrod small. Sherrod. And currently on tour with john mulaney, comeade an seaton smith. Okay katie i arev to start with you. I know i know. Larry i know youre a big patriots fan. Partisan crowd here, partisan crowd. And Everybody Knows the patriots are cheaters. Everybody knows that. By the way, if you dont say theyre cheaters, then you get into the lying thing. Right keeping it 100. Larry right. Got it. Larry i already said that brady keeps it 70. Are you disappointing that he didnt have the balls to just straight up lie . He had the balls. They just got taken into the bathroom and i dont would you rather have him lie than give that kind of halftruth there. The answer to the question, larry, is we dont know for sure if hes lying. But if we were to find out that he were lying, i would wish that he would have told the truth. But i i dont think what if he had done it, would you rather him tell the truth or lie . Tell the truth, obviously. Larry and be out of the super bowl . You wouldnt be out of the super bowl for deflating a ball. I dont think those are the stakes larry i dont know. Just cant go to the super bowl. Larry maybe. Maybe there was a penalty for it i dont know. It would be a little excessive. Larry it would have been my penalty. I know because youre a seahawks fan. Larry do we really not want to hear the truth from athletes . Would we rather have them keep it 70 . Absolutely. Thats the point. People dont want to know whats going on behind the scenes. You think deflated balls are the worst thing going on. Larry no. In the nfl . What are they injecting their bodies with . How are they dealing with the pain afterwards . How are their loved ones being treated afterwards . Theres a lot of stuff nobody wants to know, and the reason is, it is a multibilliondollar sport that has never been more popular. Larry so youre saying theyre being told to keep it 70. Oh larry like its important like Roger Goodell saying bleep you have to keep it 70. I think its just the same thing that thats how all the meetings start. Okay, bleep 70, right . 70, 70. I think its just kind of an agreement, the same way that probably i dont think tom brady deflated the balls, but i think the apparatus hold on, hold on. Were the balls deflated . Maybe. Did tom brady do it . What did he know and when did he know it . Larry troy aikman threw him under the bus. He did. Larry thats very unusual. Do you think we dont were not concerned with heroes exwms g. M. . We just want to know who people are. Were taking down that myth of sports stars as heroes. Yes. You know what, we want to see things like we see reality shows. We want to see behind the scenes. Larry but those are real. Well, some of them. Kim kardashian is smart. We want to id rather them keep it 100 or zero like marr shan lynch and hes keeping it 100. But with the media he gave them nothing. They want a fiveminute interview, manned dory, and i think hes doing it the best way saying what you want to say nothing. You think thoog the best way . The best way. To say absolutely nothing. The only reason im here on this show tonight is so i dont get fined. Larry all right, i have to ask you a question, are you are you ever disappointed when like, one of your hero athletes, when you find out they lie disd that disappoint you, or do you just not care . I dont care. It depends how many wins they have that season, you know what i mean . I mean like that was kobes thing. He was winning and then he won, and got to be like i had to ignore it. But now he sucks now. So now im like he needs to talk to the media. You know what i mean . He needs to come up clean. All right. Your rings are over. Larry its funny because we talked about sports in this but i think a lot of this started in politics. Bill clinton is a master at keeping it 70. When he said it depends what your definition of isnt is he deconstruct aid twoletter word. He did it with style. I was like i have to see how he gets out of this. Larry jake, who is better at keeping it 70, politicians or athletes . But thats all politicians do. That is all they do. Right. applause . Larry let me ask you thats got to frustrate you as a reporter. Its very, very annoying and we have to go back and disporgt back and forth and you realize the viewers are probably not all that interested and you isv to set a point, youre not telling truth and move on to the next question. Larry lets talk about in culture, who keeps it 70 more and who lies more, men or women . Women, women lie more. Larry women lie more . Especially these women in the audience. Women know how to keep them going. Dont make me be the token . Larry you speak for women. Ill speak for women. Obviously women lie more than mep. Men lie straight up. Im like i want to lie to this dude right here. Women, you lie more complicated. You lie to yourselves and thats our fault. Were better at it you hate us because you aint us, so im the pats fan and the woman, im the minority at this table. Larry somebodys keeping it 105. laughter applause all right, let me ask you this is faking an orgasm keeping it 70 . Hello larry or is it lying . Well, that its keeping first of all, i dont know what youre talking about. laughter and second of all, i think keeping it 70. It depends though. If youre not enjoying the sex at all, and youre fake tyoure marshawn lynching at that point. Larry what about a for effort . No. It doesnt go as far as you think it does. Larry go ahead. applause . Beast mode beast mode. Oh very good. Larry well be right back. Sorry. Your morning could use a hand. Taco bells steak and egg a. M. Crunchwrap with a hash brown inside. A whole breakfast in one hand. People across america are taking advantage of sprints cut your bill in half event. Whats that in your hand . Um. My at t bill. My verizon bill. Whats the monthly rate . 85 about 160 what if sprint could cut your rate plan in half . I. Would love to cut that in half. And give you unlimited talk and text in the u. S. , and match your data. Thats incredible. Bring in your verizon or at t bill turn in your old phone and well cut your rate plan in half. Visit us online or visit a sprint store today. [ male announcer ] give extra. Get extra. cheers and applause larry okay its time for a segment we like to call keep it 100. My favorite part. Okay, you guys know how it works. Im going to ask each of you a question. You have to keep it 100 real and if you dont the audience will boo. But if you do they will give you nice applause. And also youll get this nice fancy stirk here. Okay, katie, ill start with you. Patriots woman larry youre a boston native sports journalist other big patriots fan. If you saw tom brady dedeflating the balls before the super bowl, would you report it before the game, after the game or not at all . laughter the error is in the question because im not really a journalist. If i were a journalist booing if i were a journalist wait wait. Larry 92 late. I would do it before. Larry too late. Okay, jake your turn. You work at cnn now but you used to work at abc. Correct. Larry which one keeps it 70 more abc or cnn . Im assuming they both keep it 70. Which one keeps it 70 better . Or more . Who is doing a better job at keeping it 70 . Compared to being 100 or compared to being 50. Cnn is the better one. Larry hois keeping it 70. Keeping it realer is cnn booing . Larry we wont give you a sticker because maybe the question isnt good. Well let him off. Ill admit the question is unclear. Okay. I want to get to seton,. Yes sir. Redskins team name, is it a lot of people say its racist. But i want to know, is it racist to you . No. bleep . Larry thats 100. Its not racist to me. There are a lot of racial slurs that arent racist to me. Larry i would stop talking. No i want to talk more about racism right now. Larry last one, sherrod. I love the redskins. Larry okay, all right, sherrod. You have a chance to be the owner of the 2 billion l. A. Clippers. You have this chance. Okay. Larry its being laid into your lap. Okay. Larry free and clear. All you have to do is spend a month with donald sterl ago hold on at his summer house. Even though its a big house you cant be in different parts of the house. You have to be on his jock the whole time. Not on his jock not literally, but you have to hang tight with him. And he never calls you sherrod. Fine. Larry he only refers to you, thats my bleep right over there. Were keeping it 100. Were keeping it 100. And the month is black history month. You gotta do all that. You gotta do all that, but at the end, you are 2 billion owner of the clippers what do you do . I cant go to commercial right now right . Larry no what do you do . Im doing it. cheers and applause sometimes, sometimes keeping it 100, gives you a couple of million dollars. Well be right back. Thats a terrible call dont settle for unflavored crust. Make the right call with pizza hut. That crust is incomplete. And you know it phil. Rex ryan . For a limited time, get the ultimate crust flavor with the triple cheese covered stuffed crust pizza. Made with premium cheddar, aged asiago and parmesan. Try a large for 11. 99. Not again. Only at pizza hut. Your phone makes a magnificent coaster. So put it down. And Pay Attention to the people youre with. Because the universe is sending you the most magnificent text of all. A drink. [ male announcer ] give extra. Get extra. Welcome back to showdown im jerry rice here discussing the upcoming big race between the tortoise and the hare. Jerry, the hare always brags about his speed. Fine, but he crossed the line when he told. Hey, turtle neck. Want a head start, how about a week. Yeah, my performance does the talking, ok. Jerry, thanks for having me, i have film to study. Hey, how about you rice cake wanna race . You dont want none of this. Applause larry thats all the time we have for tonight. I want to thank our panelists katie nolan, seaton smith, sherrod small, and jake tapper. Now, as always thanks for helping me keep it 100 on twitter. Each of our panelists had to answer a tough question and i hold myself to the same standard. Remember i dont get a chance to see the question until right now. Tonights question comes from 00bw. Okay. Give meet question. Its reported that kobe and magic paid off refs for all their championships. I dont like where this question is going. Still stand behind all the laker wins . Its not true. I stand behind every single laker win. What kind of a question is that . Thats not a keep it 100 question. Challenge me okay . Now. cheers and applause hold on. I bleed purple and gold. You cant ask me a question about the lakers. Now on mondays show this is good on mondays show were going to talk about obesity. So treat your questions and theres a buffet after tonights show. And treat your questions with the hashtag keep it 100. One final thought seahawks are going to kick some patriot ass this sunday. Thats me keeping it 100. Good night everybody. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central its 11 dr 589, and 59 seconds. Do you ever wonder what it would look like if dreaming babies had adult bodies that could play musical straumentds no, me neither. Didnt stop these two guys from showing us