This shows been in vitro long enough. Im ready to give birth. Lets do this cheers and applause cheers and applause larry wow. Thank you very much. Thank you welcome to the nightly show. Im larry thank you so much for coming. You know before we start i just have to address a Little Something up top. Last night we did our black father show. I had a great time. The show was really powerful. But during the keep it 100 i made a joke that may have rubbed a couple of people wrong way. We reflect on marriage and how a lot of people just arent marrying anymore . Is it because black women are too bossy. On a scale of one to 10, just how bossy are black women . It better not be under five. Like i said laughter it was the a a joke. But i get it. Some people thought we were picking on black women. We were not. You guys know i love you. I was raised by a single plaque mother. You know its all right here. But im sorry. Im sorry. I didnt want to do anything exw all right, im fulm fumbling. You know how i feel. Were doing a special show at the end of the month just for black moms. Thats for you. If some of you are still upset. This, please send all of your suggestions to common. laughter applause just send it to him. Ill be i dont know why i let common talk me into that one. Thats that ones on me. laughter hes going to be very happy. Okay, now, at the end of the day we all just want whats best for our kids, right . And that brings us to tonights topic. Theres that phrase designer babies here where people now fear what you are doing is going to allow people to change height, weight sex, eye color. Larry wow. You can choose the kind of baby you want . Thats kind of like baby tirnd, right . Blue eyes, nose black hair. Poops in his pants . Who wrote this profile . Whose profile is that . Thats pretty cool about designer babies. This is amazing because we only just perfected designer food. laughter the other one was a chicken bun for burgers. This one is a chicken bun for a hot dog. The future is now. The future is delicious. laughter now, while food scientists are increasing our food options, baby scientists are increasing our reproduction options. Its not just about picking eye and hair color. Theyre using d. N. A. Editing to try to eradicate diseases and it appears the brits have decided to legalize what one might call a cheeky way to do in vitro fertilization. Great britain approves three person in vitro fertilization. Yes, three people. Larry arent you getting a bit naughty. How french of you britain. I cant wait to get all of the details of the sexy little in vitro threeway. Carry on. The donors nucleus is taken out of the embryo leaving behind healthy mitochondria. The nucleus is then extracted from the parents embryo and added to the donors embryo which is then implanted in the womb. Larry oh . laughter so they dont say . How bloody disappointing . Thank you very much. Now, look, okay, i guess the whole having a child without inherited disease thing is the point. Thats fair. And while all this genetic scanse seems a little bizark its also a little bizarre when an ugly couple has a cute baby. No offense but lets be honest. I just want to know where those genes were hiding. Thats all i want to know. I just didnt see it coming okay. All right. This issue is what you like to call fraught as hell. Theres a lot of emotions, because what were talking about is kind of hitlery. laughter right . You know in that eugenicishy kind of way. Were not in hitler down townbut were definitely in the suburbs okay. Hitler meadow, maybe. cheers and applause we are hitlertown. Now, that being the case, i just want to do something that hitler never did. Im going to weigh the pros and cons of this. All right . So lets bang out some ps and cs. Any time you abbrev monosyllabic words it takes the same amount of time. Okay. Hey, its thursday. Take as long as you need. This is fantastic. Pros of baby designing. You can get rid of genetic diseases. Con, it could create genetic super diseases. Pro smarter, more athletic kids. laughter con they just might turn on you. laughter applause oh pro create reallife xmen. Con wait, the xmen were mutants so if anything it could hinder the creation of reallife xmen. laughter pro playing god. Con playing god. Pro increased life span. Con only for the rich. applause okay. Now look, good or bad. Designer babies are coming. And the thing thats really worrisome is that most people wont have the money to go to a lab and build their genetic super baby which means were going to create a permanent underclass of people who are conceived the oldfashioned way on a haunted hay ride or in the snack shack at the outdoor driving range or against lincolns right leg at the lincoln memorial. You know the oldfashioned way. And as unjust as it will be for both people that will be stuck with kids who are more prone to disease, not as pretty and half as smart as the rich counterpart as least you can put a hipster spin on regular babies to make them special. Just tell them, billy, youre an artisanal baby. You are a 100 lovecrafted organically made and served steaming hot vagina to table. applause well be right back. cheers and applause when you dont get enough sleep. And your body aches. Youre not yourself. Tylenol® pm relieves pain and helps you fall fast asleep and stay asleep. We give you a better night. Youre a better you all day. Tylenol®. New trident unwrapped is the gum you love without a wrapper. Welcome to the easy life. Trident unwrapped. Super useful. Helps fight cavities. Hi, im kim. Each month millions of gigs of unused data are taken back by wireless companies. Tragic. Data you paid for, that can be used to see. My makeup. My backhand. My outfits. My vacations. And my outfits. Sadly all lost. Please. Help save the data. cheers and applause larry welcome back. Okay were talking about designer babies. Joining us onor panel are the star of being mary jane, gabrielle union. And hes one of the most amazing men on so many Different Levels from penn teller and wizard wars on syfy, penn jillette. Cbs news medical Health Contributor dr. Holly phillips. cheers and applause and one of the funniest comedians working the circuit out there, rachel feinstein. cheers and applause doctor, i want to start with you on this. Its kind of a twopart question. First, tell us the difference between embryonic repair i think its called and designer babies. And the second part is will the human butt finally be perfected . And answer the second part first. Just give me a year. Yes, of course,. Larry 2018. Sure sure. You know what all were talking about with this my might on condrial transfer is perfectly for scientific advancement people with genetic illness transfer through mitochondria. It is not going to change the main genetic of the cells. Larry its strictly for the genetic disorder. And it doesnt affect our chromosomes, it doesnt affect our 20,000 genes so you end up being the same person. Larry what about the genetic design . You know, what the the issue is whenever these things come up, we hear it goes very ayn rand very quickly and you hear people talk about a slippery slope. The only reason i think thats misguided is because whenever i think ayn rand i think slippery slope. I know. Hubba hubba. Can you get butt neighborhood approved is. I think that in time not now, but in time, i dont know how many years or decades, we will be able to look at d. N. A. And see what everythings going to look like eye color, hair color. Larry right. Butt shape, whatever it is. You and your wife did i. V. F. . Was there any concern about the science . I was so excited to be on the show because its the first time i have been on television with a subject at least can gentialy i knew something about. My daughter, moxie, who is nine now, is a test tube baby. Larry she was conceived in a test tube . You know, i. V. F. And while she was actually conceivedded, i was working on the in a doctors office. I went into the area i guess called the masturebaitorium. Larry and did you take the cards with you . I did. Had them in my pocket and theyre right here now. And they had pictures up for me to be able to do that. It was all all women who i made cry on tv. It just happened to be. That wasnt their plan. It just happened to be people i. V. F. Has a lot of shame and humiliation. Lots for me. Heres the thing that bothers me. Everybody 40 years ago i guess it was, when it started in england, the i. V. F. , where they first made it legal, everybody was talking about this is going to be horrible. This is a terrible thing. Boys from brazil. The only reason people were against it was the movie the boys from brazil. Larry i made the jokes about the nawts naughty we werent even given the hitler option. Do you want your child to be hitler. Larry how do you like this mustache . They didnt even give us the option. Larry im concerned about the class issue because some people arent going to be able to pay for this. Are we setting up a super class of people . We have that already. Theyre called white people. laughter applause larry oh keeping it honest. Larry oh, snap. No i mean, realistically, i. V. F. Is incredibly expensive without adding extra genetic testing. I think if you do a fiveday transfer, you have the option to do genetic testing and you can find out the gender. Thats an additional 10, 20 grand. So when you add in eye color, all of that other stuff, its incredibly expensive. So the people who could even afford is, its a very, very small, small its small now rachel are you single or married . Im single. Larry i dont want to get you in trouble. I think yeah, for every woman, pregnancy, whatever they want to do its their own journey. Larry and its very emotional, a very complicated issue. Some People Choose to adopt. Some people its very important for them to conceive. Im pregnant but not for long. We all have no larry well done, rachel, well done. All funloving abortion jokes aside. Larry im aborting my child right now, larry. I mean, i think the whole idea is kind of interesting that you can design your child ahead of time or whatever. But like i also feel like the idea that you that you have two women and then a little and one guy and then but theres, like, a main woman, and then you can put a little bit of d. N. A. From a second woman, ive heard they do that now. Larry i dont think its d. N. A. The mitochondria is just like the motor the mitochondria look i dont understand any of these words. Larry youre just making this bleep up. A piece of this a dollop of that, a whisper the point is theres one main woman donor and then theres, like, a man and they can do this thing where they just put a little of a second just like a threesome. Larry you really are making this up now. Thats how it works. Theres a main woman and a side piece, just like a three right, a side piece. Its 99. 9 the parents and the side piece is only. 1. Larry it would be encouraging more sidepiece relationships. Why is the and which, the only one sitting here who actually has blue eyes. Why would you choose blue eye glz youre doing pretty good penn . Its not a big deal. I have the blue eyes. My parents would have much rather have smarter or better looking. The blue eyes doesnt do much. So much of is not just the environment of how youre raised but also the environment the genes form in in the during the whole time the baby is carried to term. All of that does what were finding out about d. N. A. Is its not a recipe. Theres very little atoacorrespondence. We find out even for simple things like height, which is very genetically determined, there are hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands of genes that Work Together in concert in ways we dont understand. Were trying to make the decision, talk about it now, and we dont need to. Smarter people, our children our grandchildren our greatgrandchildren will have to confront this. We dopt have to because all the stuff were talking about we cant do. Larry we kind of do because we have a tv show right now. Sorry. Larry i am fascinated brown eyes do better. Brown eyes are the professionals. Larry . The whole turning off the gene thing, where you like, if you could turn off one trait. If you wish your parents could have turned off one trait from you what would it have been . That they gave me. Larry yes, that you is have. Failure to be able to do mathematics. Like i suck at math. Im pretty sure i got it from my mother. Larry any trait you have that you would like to get rid of . Yes, im deeply incoordinated. But i have to say, were everything else. Maybe i should have done more gymnastics. Larry what about you, rachel. Theres always some rancid thing in your gene rancid . Yes, im Eastern European jew and irish so theres just like, a cocktail of you in rose ease and nedregz. Larry get it all out. Are you arosed right now. Larry im very aroused. Penn anything for you . Anything that would make me someone else. Larry there gu. Just turn off anything thats penn jillette. Larry well be right back and talk more about this. Since the beginning of time, we have protected mankind. You are the seventh son of the seventh son, and war is coming. [epic music] hell. Is here im no hero. Im no warrior. Im something else. Seventh son rated pg13 hey, mr. Smith. Want to try out my time machine . It runs on doritos. [ barks ] sure. So now what . Got to put the whole bag in. Okay. Yes its really working, jimmy [ humming, thumping ] [ humming ] [ thumping ] this is the greatest moment of my life get out of my yard [ birds chirping ] jimmy . Youre so old. [ crunch ] its the future machinery forming the beat of goodbye bring in your verizon or at t bill turn in your old phone and well cut your rate plan in half. Visit us online or visit a sprint store today. Ive been called a control freak. I like to think of myself as more of a control. Enthusiast. Mmm, a perfect 177degrees. And thats why this road warrior rents from national. I can bypass the counter and go straight to my car. And i dont have to talk to any humans, unless i want to. And i dont. And national lets me choose any car in the aisle. Control. Its so, whats the word . Sexy. Go national. Go like a pro. Lips are your thinnest skin. They need special attention, day and night. New chapstick dualended hydration lock provides 24hour care. Spf protects by day. Natural oils replenish by night. Chapstick. Put your lips first. cheers and applause larry thank you very much. Now its time to get real on a personal level. Lets keep it 100. cheers and applause you know how it goes, guys. Im going to ask each of you a question and you have to keep it 100 real with your answer. If the audience things youre keeping it 100 real they will applaud, and if you do not they will. Boo larry if you keep it 100 you get the sticker if not i serve you weak tea. We did something fun last night. Everybody is going to get the same question. So thats kind of fun. Were going to start with you, gabrielle. So if any of you guys have kids, were going to pretend that nobody has kids now. So were assuming youre at that point and you have the chance to genetically engineer your baby right now. Heres the caveat you can only have one baby. This is it. This is your only shot. A super paeb. Larry it might be a super baby. This is your only child. You can never have another baby you cant adopt, no tricky stuff like that. But you have to decide whether its a boy or a girl. What do you choose . Girl. Larry and why . Hopefully she looks like me. Im a little vain. cheers and applause larry that was 100. That was 100. Wow larry boy or girl . Ill go with girl. Theyre just smarter. cheers and applause larry hold on hold on hold on, audience hold on hold on are you are you clapping because you like that answer or because you thought she was keeping it 100 . Keep it 100. Im being honest cheers and applause larry all right. Im going like this hmmm. Okay rachel, boy or girl . Id have to say i mean i perform you perform . I prefer women in general but i have to say probably a boy because his life will be easier. You know, he doesnt have to i like how disturbingly silent you are. Youre like really . Its somehow harder to be a woman. Larry so a boy . Yeah life is easier. People give him less of a hard time. Doesnt get harassed when he walks down the street. Larry what race, black or white . Black. You know why . Because im worth it. Im worth it. Larry hmmm. I want a black son booing . Larry no . What do you say . cheers i think you have to have a little bit of both. There you go. There you go. All right, you havent had kids, department do the i. V. F. And now youre going to do the b or g . I would say a girl because all statistics say the more women you have in a society, the more women you have in power, the more peace you have. cheers and applause and also ill add to that because of that because of because of things that were done in china in the middle east mostly, we now have an imbalance we have too few women in the world. For world peace the only choice is women. Larry that is one of the most keep it 100 answers i have ever heard. Youre going to get a couple of stickers. Well be right back cheers and applause . If you are in new york city or making plans to visit, grab in free tickets tickets to attend an upcoming table of the nightly show. [acoustic folk guitar] robin hood and little john walkin through the forest laughin back and forth at what the otherne has to say. Reminiscin, thisnthattin havin such a good time oodelally, oodelally golly, what a day. Never ever thinkin there was a danger in the water they were drinkin, they just guzzled it down. Never dreamin that a schemin sherrif and his posse was awatchin them an gatherin around. Robin hood and little john runnin through the forest jumpin fences, dodgin trees an tryin to get away. Contemplatin nothin but escape an finlly makin it. Oodelally, oodelally golly, what a day oodelally, oodelally golly, what a day cheers and applause larry okay, thats all the time we have for tonight. I want to thank our panel gabrielle union, penn jillette, dr. Holly phillips, rachel feinstein. Give them a nice round of applause, everybody. As always, thanks for helping me keep it 100 on twitter. Each of our panelists had to answer a tough question and i hold myself to the same. I dont get a chance to see the question until now. Tonights question comes from gtrippo. If your child could be the next Michael Jordon or the next Neil Degrasse tyson, who would you choose . Actually, i almost gave an answer quick there. I think im going to go with Neil Degrasse. Because he can neil degrrks rasselonger than he can Michael Jordon. I get a sticker. I get a sticker. Join us next week for all new episodes of the nightly show. Remember to follow the nightly show on twitter and keep an eye out for the topic well tackle on monday. Until then, good nightly, everybody. Its 1 is can 59 and 59 seconds this happened on youtube. Yesterday we showed you the steamy remake for magic mike 2, youre welcome but today we have an even hotter trailer that was released, by hotter i mean that it is wretch ed and will make you want to burn your dick off with a lighter