Phase one. You guys ready to rock . This is the nightly show captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause larry thank you, thank you very much. Welcome to the nightly show. Such a great audience tonight. Guys, new york jets star Brandon Marshall joins us tonight. His boys are in the audience. cheers right. Thats right. laughter lets go to our main story, the victims of the flint water contamination. Now, what happened to these people is a national outrage. And i promised that we at the nightly show werent going to let this story go until its resolved. So lets check in with the larry people vs. Flint. Hmm. Okay. Whats the latest . Were here in flint, michigan, where the city is still under a state of emergency following the lead water crisis. The state is now encouraging every parent to get their kids tested for lead in their blood. Were at one of those testing locations. You can see the sign behind me. It says family fun night and free lead testing. Larry family fun night . Come on, kids. Finish your homework, or no bloodwork for you you want to get the lead out of your ass so we can find if theres any in your veins . Are we going to be late again for family fun night free lead testing . So things are pretty bleak in flint, but many people have come to the rescue. Hollywoods offering a helping hand to flint. Mark wahlberg and sean daddy combs larry wait. Did he just say sean daddy combs . Who is that, diddys daddy . laughter is he. I dont know. Im sorry, continue. Mark wahlberg and sean daddy combs, who coown a beverage company, have pledged a million bottles. Cher has donated 181,000 bottles. Larry 181,000 bottles . Why not 200,000 . Oh, yeah, shes a star, so 10 of those bottles go to her agent. I know. Do the math, you guys. Its annoying, but you make it all back on your taxes. Well, good job, celebs im proud of you guys. Okay, who else is helping out . Senator ted cruzs Michigan Office spent the day handing out gallons of water to the flint community. Larry oh, ted daddy cruz laughter thats a surprise. Although, it is understandable that he appreciates the importance of water, because he is halfblobfish. applause oh, my god that is actually horrifying, you guys. I apologize to the blobfish for that comparison. I apologize, you guys. Anyway, as long as cruz isnt using this crisis to score political points, then thats great. Heres everything you need to know about how ted cruz approaches politics. He and his campaign decided they should send water, bottles of clean water to people in flint, michigan. But they only sent them to people who were antiabortion activists in flint. Only those people. Larry you have to bleep be kidding me. People could die from this poisoned water. Arent you supposed to be prolife . applause so youre only prolife for the people who are prolife . And, by the way, anyone dying from leaded water is prolife you prolife . Yes. Prolife, yeah. I dont want to be choking on something with this guy in the room. Before i administer the heimlich, whats your stance on Immigration Reform . Choose wisely choking noise that sounds like youre against it. laughter it doesnt make sense. And the group having the toughest time getting clean Drinking Water is undocumented immigrants. Or as donald trump calls them, rapists. Audience oooh larry i didnt make that up. As reported by fusion this week, undocumented immigrants are being denied free water and are too scared to get help. I mean, this is horrible. These people cant reach out to government officials, because theyre afraid of being deported. And as fusion explains, Flint Residents need to show an i. D. Or give a Social Security number to pick up free Water Bottles around town. I mean, when youre undocumented, well, the problem is right there in the word no documents. Look, its one thing to require an i. D. To vote, but just to get water . And a Social Security number . just give them the damn water they need to survive, please to put a face on the desperate situation out there, we go live to speak with a flint resident. Please welcome diego ramirez. cheers and applause oh, no. Why are you running . Are you undocumented . Well, i lost my i. D. , so i may as well be. But i found a cool loophole, so so i can still get water, larry. Larry whats the loophole . Im running marathons, larry im running marathons applause larry you went to all the trouble of running a marathon just for the free water they hand out . Marathons, larry. This is my fourth one today. Its surprising how much water your body actually needs, especially if youre running marathons, man. Larry that seems so wrong to me, that you have to go that far just to get some water actually, to be exact, ive gone 104. 5 miles to get some water. No, disgusting larry wait. Why are you rejecting water . Its dasani, larry. Im thirsty, but im not an animal. Get out of here larry im not sure that makes sense. That one was more to your liking . Oh, yeah. Thats that jennifer lawrencedonated water. Thats that good bleep , larry. Thats that good top shelf. Larry uh, i have to say, it doesnt seem really marathony. Why arent there any other runners around you . Well, i guess ive fallen a little bit behind pace, larry. Larry seems like more than a little. Are you in last place . How about cutting me some slack, larry . This is my fourth bleep marathon today. Larry im sorry. Shouldnt flint be ashamed of itself for making its citizens go to such extreme measures just for water . Larry, i aint trying to blame anybody. Im just trying to survive. Look at my grandma. She was so thirsty yesterday, she beat the kenyans. The kenyans no one ever does that thats really hard. The kenyans larry oh, my god diego ramirez, everybody. Good luck, diego how do they make starburst taste so juicy . They use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] its about to get juicy. Whoo i feel so aliii. It takes guts. [ female announcer ] starburst. Unexplainably juicy. Sorry. Sorry. Regerts . Sorry, i was eating a milky way. Video streaming burns tons of data. And those other guys love over charging you for it. Not tmobile now you can binge watch without watching your data. Its binge on only from tmobile. Get unlimited streaming on netflix, hbo now, hulu, and more. Plus get four lines with up to six gigs each for just thirtyfive bucks a line. Thats right. Six gigs each plus all the video streaming you want with binge on. Just thirtyfive bucks per line. And its only at tmobile. Larry welcome back. Now, if youve spent any time on twitter in the past 48 hours, then youve heard about our next story, rapper b. O. B. Blowing up twitter with his theories on the actual shape of the earth. Rapper b. O. B. Perhaps you know him for hits like airplanes and nothin on you. He firmly believes that the earth is flat. Hes on a Twitter Mission to prove it, and he says he has photographic evidence and that weve been fooled all this time. laughter larry you know, the first time i heard nothin on you i definitely thought, this b. O. B guy, he is the one to finally take down that asshole aristotle. Take him down. Seriously, these tweets are amazing. The horizon is always eye level. Once you go flat you never go back . Where is the curve . B. O. B. , if youre looking for the curve, you gotta call sir mixalot. laughter that is a man who didnt deny science. He did not. Am i right . Im not lying about that. Anyway, this thing went viral, and even world renowned super scientist and friend of the nightly show Neil Degrasse tyson got involved and refuted some of b. O. B. s retrograde nonsense, which prompted b. O. B. To release a diss track called flatline. Heres a taste. Neil tyson need to loosen up his vest theyll probably write that man one hell of a check flat line, flat line you got me once but that died, aye larry oh bleep . This bleep just got reecialg yall looks like weve got ourselves a code red science emergency. Im gona have to do something i rarely co. Im going to have to hit the science panic button. Science emergency Defense Program initiated. Science emergency Defense Program initiated. Science emergency Defense Program initiated. cheers and applause hi, larry. Larry Neil Degrasse tyson, everyone cheers and applause im trying to eat my dinner. I got your distress call is everything okay . Larry no, neil. Everything is not okay. This b. O. B. B. S. About the earth being flat is getting out of control. Can you help us . Hold my sandwich. Larry sure, you take that. cheers and applause listen b. O. B. , once and for all. The earth looks flat because, one, youre not far enough away at your size. Two, your size isnt large enough relative to earth to notice any curvature at all. Its a fundamental fact of calculus and noneuclidean geometry. Small sections of large curved surfaces will always look flat to Little Creatures that flat to Little Creatures that crawl upon it. But this whole thing is just a symptom of a larger problem. Theres a growing antiintellectual strain in this country that may be the beginning of the end of an informed democracy. Of course, in a free society, you can and should think whatever you want. If you want to think the world is flat, go right ahead. But if you think the world is flat and you have influence over others, as would successful rappers or even president ial candidates, then being wrong becomes being harmful to the health, the wealth, and the security of our citizenry. Discovery and exploration got us out of the caves. And each generation benefits from what previous generations have learned. Isaac newton, my man, said, if i have seen farther than others, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants. Can i get an amen thats right, b. O. B. , when you stand on the shoulders of those who came before you just might see far enough to realize the earth isnt bleep flat. And by the way, this is called gravity cheers and applause larry Neil Degrasse tyson, everybody oh well be right back. Oh we love, love, chocolaty, creamy, with a Little Something extra. Mmm deliciousness. Cookies or almonds. Yumminess. Hersheys is mine, yours, our chocolate. We broabout this new car. To get your honest opinion to keep things unbiased, we removed all the logos. Feels like a bmw. Reminds me a little bit of like an audi. So, this car supports apple carplay. Siri, open maps. She gets me. Wow. It also has teen driver technology. It even mutes the radio until the seat belts are buckled. Im very curious what it is. This is the 2016 chevy malibu. And it sells for . It starts at twentytwo five. What . Oh wow. I mean with all this technology. Thats a game changer. There it is. This is where i met your grandpa. Right under this tree. man some things are Worth Holding onto. Theyre hugging the tree. man thats why we got a subaru. Or was it that tree . man the twentysixteen subaru outback. Love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. We need to be ready for my names Scott Strenfel and r im a meteorologist at pg e. We make sure that our crews as well as our customers are prepared to how weather may impact their energy. So every single day were monitoring the weather, and when storm events arise our forecast get crews out ahead of the storm to minimize any outages. During storm season we want our customers to be ready and stay safe. Learn how you can be prepared at pge. Com beprepared. Together, were building a better california. Im here with my panel. First up, nightly show contributor, ricky velez. cheers and applause and nightly show contributor jordan carlos. cheers and applause and hes the cofounder of project 375, the foundation that promotes Mental Health awareness, sixtime probowler wide receiver for the new york jets. Brandon marshall. cheers and applause very nice. And for everyone at home, join our conversation right now on twitter atnightlyshow using the hashtag tonightly. Brandom im so glad youre here. He probably be m. V. P. M. V. P. He is the m. V. P. Larry but hes getting a lot of flack for all the celebrating that hes doing. I dont know if you see him, but when he scores the touchdown, he really goes he goes. The first thing he does, he does this he stalls he gets into that and then then he does, like, this kind of thing. He goes down then ive never seen him do that. Larry youve never seen him do that . He doubles down. He doubles down. Larry he doubles down. This isnt the christmas party. You shouldnt no, im just telling you what he does. Then he starts he does this you have no rhythm. Larry im showing you what he does. You do it, you do it. I definitely dont have any rhythm. Gl thats not all. Then he starts running with the football. Brandon, is that too much . I mean, its 15, 20 seconds. Listen, i dont want my quarterback dancing. You know, im from the old school. And people look at me, well, youre only 31 years old. Im from the old school, okay. Get over it. Im from the old school, so i want my quarterback to get back in the hud expel lead us. But we have to understand this is the new generation. This is what theyre doing next. Theyre disruptive. Theyre disrespectful. They dont give a damn about anyone. And i kind of like it. I kind of like it. cheers and applause larry i couldnt tell if you were for it or against it. Youve got to look at it, Odell Beckham jr. , and then you have cam newton who i think is leading the way. Go back to when he was a rooky and he said, listen, i want to be an icon. If you want to be an icon, you cant stay in the box. You have to be disruptive. Larry but as a quarterback, i think its too much. As a player, arent you afraid your quarterback becomes a target too much . Thats the question. Hes 151. Hes the m. V. P. Thank you. Thank you. Hes going to be the sixth African American quarterback leading this team to the super bowl. Larry thats all good stuff. Hes thats not bad stuff what im saying to you thats good stuff. Its just hes dancing, man. No, but, like, its like we all go to the club, were all at the club, were hanging out, we have girls all around us, and some dude walks in and all the girls are like, lets go watch him dance. We bleep that guy. Hes dancing he punched in some of these touchdowns himself. When you do that youre going to celebrate. I just think so, hes getting some criticism. He said, im an African American quarterback. That scares people because they havent seen nothing that they can compare me to. Does any of the criticism of cam feel racial . You know what, first of all, i want to say this, i commend him because back in the day, our athletes and entertainers used to be civil rights leaders. They used to speak up. But now the business has taken over. You have these brands like underarmor, and nike and beats by dre, and the yogurt thing he endorsed. They come in, they tell you, you know what . Just be a good both boy, shut your mouth and collect your check. I am one of those guys i have an opinion and im going to say it. I guess thats why im on my fourth team. cheers and applause larry keep it 100. But when you look at it, its a generational thing. And i just stick to that. I dont think its racial. I think theres a box we put our quarterbacks in and we say, this is how youre supposed to be. This is how pateop man dignity it. This is how joe montana did it, tom brady. Larry i think its more generational than racial. I think it could be generacial. Like tennessee mom making that letter about cam newton and the game. Thats what white people do when they get upset, they write letters. Right. They get upset. What does dshe get upset about . You daent yelp a football game. He was dancing too much. You know what i mean. Youre supposed to be a role model. I think Charles Barkley clearly explained you dont have to be a role model. Johnny manziel. Hes a q. B. Hes never been arrested. Maybe in college. Lets stay with the pros. Lets say pros. Hes been great. Hes been a great voice for us, and hes doing some amazing things. I love it. Keep doing it. Keep dancing. Larry its a little taunting. You dont like it . But youre a seattle fan. Larry no, that has nothing to do with it. Thats got nothing to do with it. Nothing to do with it . Larry no to, me, hes the leader heres what it is. You got your butts kicked. Larry when was last time the jets were in the super bowl . You have hold on. You are not there and now bleep . bleep . Its time for on keep it 100. You know how this goes. You have to answer the question, you have to keep it 100 real. Okay. Larry if you do not, i have to throw weak tea at you. If you get it right, you get a sticker. Your team barely missed playoffs this season. I thought you guys were going to go all the way. But you didnt, thats all right. Is that all right . Larry thats all right. It is what it is. Not all right. Larry youd love to be preparing for the super bowl right now. Yes. Larry Everybody Knows that. Keep it 100. Are your jet better keep it 100 real are they better than both teams playing in the super bowl. Yes. Larry youre keeping that 100 real. You missed the playoffs. We missed the playoffs. Larry youre better than the panthers yes larry youre better than the panthers youre better than the panthers. Listen, its about whos hot. Larry youre better than the panthers. Thats what youre telling me. You just went off about cam newton. Okay, okay laughter . Larry give him some weak tea. I dont want to hear the rest. Well be right back. cheers and applause introducing pizza huts first 5 flavor menu. Just 5 each when you order two or more. Can i get pizza for the whole team . You got it mr. Cuban just five bucks each. Wings and a hersheys cookie for five bucks each . Yes. Its easy to say yes to our first ever 5 flavor menu. Only at pizza hut. Love these things. ] hilarious. [ sigh ] sorry. Force of habit. As long as you are you, its miller time. Video streaming burns tons of data. And those other guys love over charging you for it. Not tmobile now you can binge watch without watching your data. Its binge on only from tmobile. Get unlimited streaming on netflix, hbo now, hulu, and more. Plus get four lines with up to six gigs each for just thirtyfive bucks a line. Thats right. Six gigs each plus all the video streaming you want with binge on. Just thirtyfive bucks per line. And its only at tmobile. cheers and applause larry thanks to my panelists ricky velez, jordan carlos, and Brandon Marshall