Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 2016

COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore May 12, 2016

cheers and applause . Larry thank you very much. Thank you, such a good crowd. Welcome to the show. Welcome to the nightly show. Im larry wilmore. Thank you, maam, thank you very much. So we begin tonight with america. Well, just in time for the fourth of july the makers of budweiser are looking to replace budweiser with america on its labels this summer. Larry yeah, thats right. And now that its called america, they of course had to change the shape of the can. laughter applause yeah, hmmmm, hmmmm, thats got to have a little fat in it, man, thats how i like it. Also in unfortunate news due to copyright infringe. America ferrera was forced to change her name to budweiser ferrera. I know, thats just unfair. Its so sad for her. Okay, moving on. So you remember our old friend ted cruz, president ial candidate, zodiac killer, all around creepy guy, right, right . Okay. Just when we thought we had heard the last of grandpa munster and heidi, his wife, his wife addressed some of their supporters who go by the term, National Prayer team, by conference call. And thank god someone besides the the nsa recorded it. The council of joy that this team was chosen to fight a long battle, think that slavery took 25 years to defeat slavery, that is a lot longer than four years. Larry okay, hold on, hold on a second. Youre comparing your fight to win the presidency with the fight to abolish slavery . I dont recall anyone bringing ted cruz over on a boat. And then selling him on a stump, in fact, even if they did try to sell him on a stump, nobody would buy him. Nobody wanted him, right . applause . Larry you hear that, ted cruz . They buy us but nobody wait, in analogy is really falling apart here. And you know, heidi, people dont want him now. What makes you think people will want him in four years. You may as well tell him to wait a thousand years. I mean he is a vampire. He can do it. They have that power, right . Plus the fight against slavery was more like 250 year, not 25 years. Thats weird. I thought heidi cruz was smarter than this. Can we pull up web md. Im curious about something, okay, lets see. Hmmmm, symptoms include poor judgement, memory loss and, okay, and sudden unexplained use of inaccurate and highly insensitive slavery metaphors. Hmmmm, oh, it says she has a concussion. Thats that doesnt make sense, did heidi suffer a blow to the head recently . We just like showing that clip, sorry. In fact, while were at it, lets see that barrel roll, cuz i like that one too, there you go, yeah, yeah. We just like showing clips. Thats all we do. All right, on to our top story, the suppression of conservative views. Feels too happy for what the title is, you guys. Now suppressing speech is never a good thing. Okay, whats going on. Facebook this morning is defending itself against accusations of political bias. An art posted monday on the tech news side gizmodo said facebook workers suppressed conservative leaning news stories in its trending section l thats awful. I thought the only thing facebook suppressed was any sense of selfcontrol. Oh. Carol liked my post about how much i liked cherry blows oments. Oh blossoms. Oh, what . Sorry, facebook freakout. But facebook promotes trending topics. And the internet today is all about getting clicks, so there was no way facebook was cur rating somebodys news with sophisticated political agenda. A select group of 20 journalists, young, tefntee somethings, Ivy League Educated are the ones sorting through the news feed and determining what people are able to see and more importantly what they are not able to see. Larry all right, i dont know. You are making a bit of a leap. Just bawt the tenteesomethings are Ivy League Educated and from the east coast doesnt mean their views are going to swing left yes, yes, they probably do. They probably do. Okay, so this could be pretty serious. Lets see what these liberals suppressed. Trending topics such as cpac. Mitt romney or glenn bek were some of the examples were given as issues that were suppressed. Larry all right, suppressing cpac and and mitt romney, but glenn bek that mother is crazy. I know you out there somewhere, there you go. There you go. Now another interesting thank you very much. We have a couple here tonight. But another interesting aspect of the story isnt so much that gizmodo is concerned about the suppression of political speech, they are concerned these trending topics are being curated by people and not by complicated equations the way it was claimed to be done. They are saying an algorithm is doing the sorting. We found evidence of them pop lating the algorithm with topics that werent trending on facebook at all. First of all the word isnt algorithm, all right, its algorithm. George bush didnt defeat al gore, right. In the 2000 Electoral College and simon and theodore didnt get chipwrecked with ahvin, that happened to alvin and it was positively frightening, all right. Come on, man, you work for giz modo, gizmodo raise your game. Congress is also getting involved. The Senate Commerce committee is investigating these accusations i naish yaited by former facebook staffers all from a story by gizmodo. Larry you have to be kidding me. The senate is getting involved with this facebook thing . Senate, can i have a word please. I know this facebook thing feels very trending right now. You know, feels like something you may want to poke at. I know your relationship with American People right now feels a little complicated. Let me just give you a little status update. On the country, frint still needs some [bleep] clean water cheers and applause okay. Heres the thing. The senate had an opportunity to pass a Bipartisan Energy bill with ties to funding for the residents of flint, michigan, but that bill was blocked by senator mike lee of utah. He did not like it, if you will. So senate you are telling me you cant find enough energy to help people choking on lead in flinlt but you have time to dick around the news feed on facebook which isnt really even a [bleep] news feed, all right. If only we could get those brainy 20 something to create an algorithm to get the senate to stop su pes suppressing issues that are really important to america. No, not the damn beer, the country. But i think i need one of those right now anyways. Well be right back. applause jordan and chelsea were searching for the Perfect Place for their wedding on booking. Com. Oh yurt. Yes earthy. Just rustic. [laughing] oh my gosh. Wow. [owl howling] [gulp] uh, how about an island . Island, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [laughing] were you laughing in your fantasy . Yeah me, too. [gasps] when our troops dont come back, someone has to help their families move forward. My family lost so much. It was a shock. It was a void. Special Operations Warrior Foundation was there for me. Without special Operations Warrior Foundation, i dont know how we would all afford to go to college. Now through july 31st, a portion of each sale of specially marked cherry extra strength 5hour energy® shots benefits the special Operations Warrior Foundation. We hope you will join the fight. Steady Morning Energy whether you. E play it cool. Hows it going . Or dont play it cool. Youre attractive i just. I didnt mean to come on so. I. Wasnt coming on to you i actually have a boyfriend. Belvita. Because we can all use steady Morning Energy. Sorry, just getting a quote on motorcycle insurance from progressive. Yeah . Yeah, they have safe rider discounts, and with total loss coverage, i get a new bike if mines totaled. But hows their Customer Service . Great. 24 7. Just like here. Meat loaf [dings bell] that needs leadin . Serving all your motorcycle insurance needs. Now, thats progressive. Larry all right, welcome back. Margaret saninger once wrote women muses not accept challenge which is what holly walker said to me when she took the last breakfast this morning. And that could eastern mean one thing, its lady time. cheers and applause hi. I am holly walker. And welcome to my lady time. It is a time when i open up my flood gates and gush about womens issues. Tonight im getting a much needed massage because this next story is making me tenser than kelley and michaels banter this week. Two u. S. Senators are ask president obama to investigate whether the pentagon Mislead Congress about its handling of Sexual Assault cases. The pentagon Mislead Congress about Sexual Assault . Dig deep, maurice, these are the knots of injustice witnessed Judiciary Committee chairman chalk grassley and democrat Kirsten Gillibrand kriet reports of inaccuracy and emissions in military records. Its a sad day when i cant trust the pentagon as much as i trust a man i barely know to lube me up and rub me down. Oh, and youre great too, maurice. So why was the pentagon mislead about something as important as Sexual Assault. Those records are being used by the pentagon to oppose a bill stripping senior military officers of decisionmaking power over whether to prosecute Sexual Assault crimes. Are you kidding me . That is some bullllll, oh, maurice, are you a god send, unlike those dick nozzles at the pentagon. Heres a tip, pentagon, when your Decision Makers decide to Mislead Congress on how good they are in making decisions, maybe they shouldnt be the ones making decisions now i get it. The military wants control over these cases as much as beyonce wanted control over lemonade. Except in beyonces case, the only things that were assaulted were those cars. Damn, bey, they couldnt have all belonged to jayz. laughter if you need any more proof that Sexual Assault should be taken out of the chain of command, take a look at the numbers. In 2012 an estimated 26,000 Service Members experienced Sexual Assault. Out of all those, only 3,374 were reported. A big reason for that, according to gill i grant is gillibrand is the chain of command. What . No, no, no oh, oh, not you, maurice. No, your fingers are like the healing butter on the warm sponge cake of my back. I mean those stats. Those stats are worse than roose boltons chances of sitting on the iron throne. Seriously, he aint waking up like john snow. Oops, spoiler alert. Look, you cant say you support the troops without supporting the most vulnerable troops. Thats like saying you finish my massage without getting to my booty. Its the most precious spot. Yeah. Now thats taking my gluteus to the maximum maximus. So the next time this bill comes up for a vote, lets Hope Congress has our troops back. And speaking of backs, thank you, maurice, for turning my back into a tender pile of lady flesh. And thank you all for joining me during my lady time. Larry i think shes playing that properly. Holly walker, everyone, well be right back. I would like three weeks vacation. Two is standard. Im not standard. Three weeks. Ok. And i smoked while i was pregnant. My baby was born two months early and weighed only 3 pounds. This is the view i had of her in the nicu. My tip to you is speak into the opening so your baby can hear you better. announcer you can quit. For free help, call 1800quitnow at our house, were always down for more. Case in point our handcrafted skydiving chamber. Be hungry for more. Just never be hungry. With premium pepperoni and 100 real cheese. Ding hot pockets e. T. Phone home. When you find something you love, you can never get enough of it. Change the way you experience tv with xfinity x1. Welcome back. Im here with my panel, first up nightly show contribute errorree albanese. And nightly show contributor grace parra. And my mois shall voice able, the voice of new york, angie martinez. And for everyone at home join our conversation right now on twitter nightly using the hashtag tonightly. So as we talked about earlier in the show, gizmodo reported this week that your trending news on facebook is not picked by an algorithm but is picked by facebook workers that are instructed to keep the conservatives out, not instructed but that is what gizmodo thinks, it true. If this was through why would somebody go to the trouble of do this. Im confused to t feels like facebooks attempt to say were really liberal. Because every time i go on its grandmas racist bot. Who is horrified by this, who is disturbed by this. I will tell you why i am disturbed by it. I feel like the last thing we need is a superrich jew controlling the media, you know what i mean . On behalf. The horror. Scary enough to be a jew right now with trump coming up, you know what i mean, now we need this. I just finally convinced people that is the no the thing and now zuckerberg. I h zuckerberg. I have actually been doing it the whole time. That is frustrating. You are blaming this on the jews. No, im saying it will be blamed on the jews and now i have to resecure my panic room is my point, you know what i mean. Were always ready to escape, thats one of the things. Were taught. I didnt know facebook was the place you got real news, this is an official news source. What are news now adays anyway. Even the term news feed is kind of fujing a bit. Its [bleep] that people are talking about, right. But its not. The assumption was the things you are reading is the things people are talking about. But theyre not the things theyre talking about, theyre the things these college ivy league, i dont want to say collegek like it is a bad thing, these stupid educated no, but im saying i think the issue is like the assumption is it is an aggregate of what is being talked about but if its not and it is being fed things to learn about. Larry do you think there is unconscious bias going on when they talk about the ivy league thing or whatever. Why does its facebook. They could do whatever they want. Social media, its not like a. If are you going to facebook to get your news, thats a problem. Larry why do you believe people believe what they read on places like facebook, only because it is written down. I think people believe stuff because. What qualifies them. What is the qualifications. There are times i thought tom hanks has been dead because it pops up on facebook and twitter. No, it cant be. And i look and its fine, guys. The weird part would be if you are like, finally. What do you have against tom hank, americas sweetheart. I think that that, there is an assumption not that it is a news source but that social media is a place to go to sort of, it moves at a faster pace. The wall street journal isnt going to be able to tell me that selena gomez and Orlando Bloom may be an item. The important things. But no, i mean i dont think. Twitter has been instrumental in breaking stories and spreading news quickly. Yeah. When the stuff was going on in afghanistan or iran, twitter was instrumental in getting that news out. So it can serve a good purpose. And the images come up so much faster, if something is happening in the world, a fire or some protest, you get to see like what is happening on the ground. In ferguson when that was happening, twitter was used a lot. But you take it what it is worth. These are not journalists, these are, you know, civilians on the ground sharing information, swi what i expect from facebook. These are civilians tweeting and facebook, you know. People treat them like people take it seriously. Comments have replaced critics. Absolutely. People dont care about Expert Opinions any more. What is an expert. Its only common [bleep]. What are you talking about. I mean in all fairness, if im on tv right now being an expert, which validate that experts are bull [bleep], you know what i mean. What are you an expert at. That kneel Neil Degrasse tyson is at home watching me, hey, that is a good point. It doesnt matter you could have a harvard degree but if are you boring, nobody cares. So i think it matter it is as entertaining you are entertaining. Larry you are absolutely right, that is a good point. You have to be entertaining and informative at the same time. Is that what facebook. I dont know if they care about informative. I just think entertaining. I think so true. Facebook, i think sometimes it knows me better than i know myself. For example today i went on the trending list to see what was trending, and it was selena gomez and the fact that nickelback is more liked than trump. The real thing i like nickel back. And i scof, these are not relevant to me and i was like wait a second. I got to find out more. And i read every article it totally got me. It knew me better than i knew myself. Again, i dont know what, this facebook is a thing that we have given all of our information, literally, people are like here is what my kids look like, here is where they play, here is where you can steal them. And then were like, surprised, i cant believe theyre turning their backs on us. Are you all idiots. So child molesters are like thank you, facebook. Where you have been all my. Kid burglars, remember that book. It is not me t is child molesters. But remember the bling ring book, that literally happened because paris hilton was like wait for eight days, house unlocked. Good to know, well go get her [bleep]. People oversharing is the problem. Yes. But i cant imagine like it is not like some grave injustice you couldnt have trusted them up until now. It is like the biggest nerd issue too. We had a researcher here trying to read it and he shot himself. He was upset. Good job. So you are saying this is a complete nerd issue, is that what you are saying. Totally a nerd issue. I dont care. Really. I dont expect facebook to be the place i dont and i also expect it to be taylored. If im searching shoes all day, i expect what comes up on my facebook time line to be about shoes. I know theyre watching me. So if im a liberal. You dont mind that part. I dont like that, but i dont expect i dont expect facebook to be the place where i have like unbiased news. To me i think if you really, are losing sleep over that, im not really sure who is. The saddest thing about the ubiquity of facebook is that isis fews it as a views it as a way to recruit, icist isis is on facebook. A great place to get young, stupid people. There you go. It is. I have never. It is like, i dont know. Ne

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