Ing this is a wonderful place, one of my favorite spots. Used to come here forlorn. Think the lunch was two dollars then. Im going to do a presentation. Of course you know about my book the scent of jasmine that just came out. Its kind of a memoir, what they call creative and it couldnt be exactly what was said at the moment, but the name of the book the scent of jasmine, coming of age in jerusalem and damascus, jasmine is indigenous to the arab world. They call damascus the city of jasmine because there isnt a home that doesnt have jasmine and it has very, very nice scent, and my mother from damascus we lived in many homes between 48 and 52 and wherever we lift live she would bring a plant of jasmine and plant it in our home. So every home i live in has the jasmine. Damascus is a city i spent a lot of time in and my mother has a large extended family, and they say it takes a village to raise a child, think that extended family raised me and many children of my generation, and these two cities have impact on me and i believe they have impact on the world. Its really sad to watch what is happening in both cities today. So they mean a lot to me, these citiesment cities. S was born in damascus but my family was living in jerusalem and then 48 happened and we moved to west jerusalem and its like my first few years i spent there, and damascus, i spent a lot of time. The memoir is like more short stories, and i wrote them at one point, i was just writing stories, things happen in my life at one opinion, and then i came to realize the extent to which my life really reflected what was happening in the arab world at that time. So i hope the read, when you read this book and i hope you buy it you will get a sense of the arab world i grew up in, which is very different from what it is today. As i mentioned i was bornin 19 born in 1944. When it happened i was only three and a half years old but you will be amides what i remember and when the say the first threefive years, is what most formative, i think these years had the most impact on me and i belief many of my life choice is made had to do with that experience. So, three and a half years old. My father had a job in jerusalem jerusalem was one city historically, was never two cities. One city. It became one to half of the city fell under the israeli control so we left in west jerusalem and after 48 we became refugees refugees and wed from west to East Jerusalem and then ultimately my father, you know, side of the family, because theyre palestinian, i grew up with their sad stories. That always talk about palestine. I dont remember a gathering of my fathers friends or his relatives, one gathering, that the issue of palestine did not come. What we call the disaster. That is what they referred to 1948, did not come. Ive seen men cry and they didnt cry because of a loss of property, also a loss of pride, sense of defeat, sense of humiliation that came with 1948. My mother extended family was from damascus, and they were very affluent and my father, you know the time i grew up in was interesting because there was a lot of diversity where i grew up. Religiously ethnically. My grandfather was religious, prayed five times a day at the mosque down the street from his house, and my father wassing agnostic at best. We never preside any religion but i dont ever remember my grandfather or anybody in my mothers side of family who practiced religion said anything bad about my father because he didnt practice. They love him, respect him, because they thought hi was a good man. Had a lot of integrate and very honest. And my uncle on my mothers side was politically very conservative. My father was a socialist, they just disagree over politics but enjoyed each other and were good friends. The neighborhood i grew up in is called mango street, named after three rich families that had three big villas at the end of the street, and the street was named after them, but in that street there were middle class, like i call my family, there were poor people, rich people, christian, muslim, jordanians, palestinians, syrian, lebanese, lived in the neighbor. Armenian. Chechneyan, also lived in the same neighborhood, and we went to same schools visit with each other, played with each other and never thought of us versus them. We were this is our neighborhood. That was the neighborhood. Now, i also grew up in a muslim country. The arab i grew up in theory in a muslim home but i never really knew whether i was a muslim or i knew i was muslim but never know whether we were sunni or shia until i went to high school. So this concept of sunni versus see ya, not a concept we grew up with. And i also became of age in the 50s and 60s and while america had their own 60s we had our own 60s and they werent much different. Is in country people against the vietnam war, against tradition, against certain dominance. We rebelled against male dominated society. We were for international, arab nationalism, and i anticolonialism so that era shaped a lot of people of my generation. My mother i also grew up with very strong women. The concept of arab woman as weak, submissive, they have no voice, is such a big myth. Tell you, its a myth. I grew up with very strong women. My mother comes from many and her family was very rich. She hated housework, had nothing to do with and it she work outside the house. She owned her own business. She had a print shop. And downtown ammann and she managed and her pride didnt cam from cook or clean house but from her business. Many of her friends were really professional women. We have artists, ph. Ds, outside indicators, we have the educators,poetsactivists and they did not use concepts like feminism but women liberation but everything about them told me this sky is the limit. The role model i looked at and these are my mother and her friend, i knew i can be whatever i want to be. So this is the arab world i grew up in. I really if you buy the book i hope you buy it i would really suggest you read the introduction, people dont like to read introduction but it does put it in a context. Now, as i mentioned that my parents came from a very very different background. My mother came from money, my father came from a middle class. My father was very neat, very clean, very quiet, intellectual. He want to read books. My father was noisy, she loved life, she loved to travel, and she i dont think she even enjoyed bag mother, you know. It wasnt her. So, just to give you a sense of my parents, i came home one time they never lived happily ever after. Came home one time from school. We used to go to school and at lunch you go home to have lunch, and my father was home, and he and my mother were at each other throat, yelling at each other, screaming at each other, and i stood in the corner, not daring to come in the hallway and then my father saw me and he saw me and wents slammed the door and said this kitchen is a mess. Can even get myself a glass of water. So he walked in and my mother walked in the kitchen, walk after her and stood at the door. She sitting there, dressed, latest fashion, hair cut, highheel, lipstick, red suiter, and just liked out of place and said i start hate you, referring to her father. May god never forgive you. She said referring to her father, and you both came into the marriage, look at me, having to deal with all this mess. We are the please, mama, dont crimplell clean the kitchen, i said, joining her crying. She said, referring to our livein help. She told me she was going visit her family for a week but has been gone for almost ten days. The house was in the late 40s had been living with us, was stocky, moved slowly and was in pain when she had to mop the floor or feed the wood stove but she was extremely organized and super clean and that made my father happy. She knew how to cook, which made my mother happy. Twice a year, she would visit her family who lived in a refugee camp in the west bank, and whenever that happened i knew trouble was on the way. Mama, its been only four days since she left. She left on thursday and today is only monday. Dont argue with me, my mother said. Sorry, mama, im sure shell come back soon. Your father, she yelled, as if i were responsible for him he is such a neat freak. Cant handle him. Hate housework, hate being married. Never did any work at my parents house. We always had help. I help you, mama, please,ll help you. So i always wondered how my parents end up with each other, you know . When palestinian, jordannan, middle class. So very different in personalities. So, hi have heard so many stories about when i was about 11, my cousin, who was four years older than me, explained it this way. My father was in love with someone he was a flamboyant that wasnt the sort of husband they had in mind for their lovely daughter. The talked her into marrying your father. Dont believe it, said. No one can make my mama do anything she doesnt want. No, its true, she said my sister i even know who she is talking about. Right . She was telling us. Shut up, you swore not to tell. I never tell you anything anymore. Well, my father had a different story how he end up marrying my mother. Want to marry an educated woman, and my syrian neighbors in the south knew your mother family and led me to her. My father was working in a city in jordan at the time, she was a school principal. So he was working there. And he has neighbors in syria and they took him to my mother mitchell. My measure said when i met your father isensed immediate attraction because he looks like i was young and foolish. My cousin, the oldest cousin on my mothers side, only 11 years younger than my mother, claimed to know the ultimate story. Dont listen to any of them. Know the story. He loved women. That is why she never got married. When your father asked for your mothers hand, her love was living in the south and asked your mother to marry your father so she could visit south more often. Oh, this is a big secret. Dont tell anyone, she said. She made us put our hands on the and say i swear we i will never tell. So, whatever the story about my parents getting married, dont know, but i know my mother she is from damascus, going to live in this small town and she said, your father expected me to live in south. The house was smaller. The whole house was smaller than the upper part on my fathers house. So, she ultimately my father found a job in jerusalem, and he was the head of the arabic Radio Station there, and my mother was happy. Jerusalem is not unlike for my mother compared could damascus. She said people in jerusalem didnt like people, not as grand, but life was good. She had a better house, better salary, you know, she has two daughters and even have two puppies. So, life was great until 48 happened. Then everything was shattered. They had to leave. They became refugee, and they have to restart their life all over again. So, when 48 happened my mother sent me and my sister to damascus because there was fighting and they want us to be safe. So we spent a lot of time in damascus. As it turns out we spend a lot of time later in damascus, every summer we good to damascus to my grandfather house, and my mother, every time she want to deliver a baby, one of the children, she go to her family, deliver the baby, spend her 40 days the tradition for a woman to regain her full strength and come home and then we go there for holidays, for summer vacation, and we went there when my mother was she was when he had the fight with my dad and that happened a lot so we spend a lot of time in damascus, and dam masses discuss has a lot of impact on me. And so damascus also the city of jasmine but damascus is a city of ritual. One of the oldest cultures in the world. The only continueusly inhabited city in the world. So they have during everything is a ritual. I they want to take a bath its a ritual. A turnish bath. If they wand to have friday lunch my grandfather, his kids and grandkids, every friday. On monday, my aunt was the head of a political party, and then all these people came to have a political meeting at my grandfather house. And so then the woman day where woman will be home and Everybody Knows if you come on monday to anans house she will be there all the women will gather and you get all the juice gossip, who is getting married and who is getting divorced and everything. So im going to be a little bit about damascus for you. This is about my grandfather house. My grandfather house was build in 1737. Older then america, and my grandfather was born in the house, my mother, all the kid born in the house, midnight of this grandchildren, and my other sir ling were born there. So this is in damascus about 1955. We emerged from the various parts my grandfather house and gathered in the courtyard. The day was still brought but the there was a genting breeze. The aroma of turkish kofi fee filled the air. The house was grand. 28 rooms them large court yard with the colorful tiles, flowing fountain, and scented flowers made this place feel imagine camp wasnt could help bit be missionmer mesmerized. This elegant house told a story of money and power, and as well it told of end of an era. It was built upon an extended family without uncles and lots of children but i only remember my sister, my two aunts, and who never got married and my cousin living there. Now, my aunt was a teacher. She loved kids and took time to explain things to up. When i asked her why do they live in such a big house, she said in the old days those born in this house stayed, eve after they got married and have children. How come they dont live here anymore . I asked my aunt. Because they became modern and they want to have their own home. They dont want to live with others. I didnt know modern is good or bad but i figured my parents must be modern because we live on our own. Now, my other aunt my two aunts who never got married my other aunt was like the queen offed of etiquette. She is living like an older finishing school. Taught us how to dress, how to talk, how to walk, how to set a table, how to come welcome guests and how to be respectful of elderly, be kind to the younger and even tried to teach me how to sing but she gave up very soon after. The day of her before heading for her afternoon nap, she would tell us, today i want all of how to have a long nap. Dont want to hear you arguing, talking, playing. Want anan to sleep in my room. You go with your my cousins you go to the lower room. As soon as my aunt fell asleep we would quietly get out and gather in the car with my two cousins. Three yeares older than me would sneak into the kitchen, bring ice to demonstrate to us how to keep our good by rubbing them with ice. I want to try it, please give me some, begged. But you dont have any boobs. Lifting my shirt i would place them on my flat chest and only to watch them melt and run down to my belly and my underpants. Look, dont have any. Dont worry you only 11, youll have some soon. So when you grow up your mother and grandmother, they dont talk about sex, they dont talk about love, lust, none of that. But you keep it to your older cousin, bit the time you his puberty you learn it all. In my grandfather house we have the housekeeper, and she came to live at my grandfather house when i was six, and she died at age 70 or 80 within the family mitchell. And she came from she lived there and had her own remedies and she believed her own remedies were better than my aunts doctors. These doctors tell you this, take your money, but my remedy work much better. So when i was young, was dark, i still am so my grandfather used to call me sudan because of my skin was much darker than the rest of his family mitchell greatgrandmother was a turkish blonde and that with my mothers family source of beauty and ride. Even my mother who claimed to have married my father because he used like randy, used say my father is so beautiful sounder all at my sisters, blond with blue eyes, just beautiful. Well, win i was growing up, i seen relatives talk a lot about girls and their beauty. My older sister was very beautiful. People used to say she looks like sophia loren. My two cousins both went won the syria beauty path gents. So between the beauty queen and sophia loren i never felt beautiful nil went to college and saw boys. God my period and i didnt real do i did not know exactly what was happening itch started crying, and i said, im bleeding. She comes, so excited, oh, my god, youre a woman now. And i said, what you mean im a woman now . Oh, you are this is a good day, and then she said, listen, im going to make you the among your cousins. Was short and dark and young and still short and dark, but she said im going to make you more beautiful than all of you. She was dark like me. So she used to suffer from migraine and her relatives would bring her leeches and a jar of water who when she get the migraine, she get the leeches on her head and they would draw blood and drop. You never use leeches, are you . She said, dont worry but this is a secret between us. So, okay. Take me down stairs and put me in the kitchen, asked me with this heavy wool blanket. This is damascus in the summer, must be 100. I said im hot. You shouldnt get called when you get your first period. How aim going to get cold in his house . Dont worry, just listen to me. Love you. So she is some hot water and something in the hot water and she said, drink this. What is this . She said, it wont kill you. It was she said, this is going to make you white. So, after she make my drink it and im almost throwing up, shes holding me still so i dont throw up, and when after half hour she know im not going throw up, she take me and this she grabbed me, im small, and make my swing. Oh, when this is done im crying. I woken kill you. This is going to make you taller. Trust me, going to make you taller. Im going to be white and tall. So for a whole week she did this to me. For a whole week she would wait on my mother and aunts to take their afternoon nap and then have we drink this sauce and swing. By the time the week was over, i felt sicker than a dog, and my aunt arms were so sore i could hardly move. I was grateful for a womans period did not include leeches or any other strange creature. On the seventh day when everyone went to the afternoon siesta, she got the bathroom woodburning stove tavern going, she took me and washed my hair stentimes, she scrubbed my body seven times. When i was clean enough she starts pouring warm water on my head from a brass goal while reciting verses from the korean and have me the koran and have me repeat after her. Would look into the mirror every morning and stood next to her to see if if got in any whiter ore taller but nothing changed. Look, you made me suffer for nothing. Be patient, my heavy patient, by next summer you are going to be the whitest and the tallest girl, all your cousinners are going to be so jealous, youll be so happy we did this. When the next summer arrived i was a little tall her and a shade lighter but we were always lighter in the beginning of the summer. As iboard my grandfather house, she hugged me, then stepped back so she could examine me carefully. I could see something in her face. Im sorry, it didnt work. Give it time. It will work. Now it will. Then she hugged me and we both laughed. So, now were going to go into a little bit serious, more serious stuff. Now, jordan in the 50s where we grew up was like damascus was the place where you go and play and get new clothes and always something happening in syria. And there was the station all over the country. In jordan and in many cities, they organize and i dont figure out how they organize. They leave school, they marched to th