Sales eagle award in 2019. Value Service Awards for 2019 and 2020, and has been part of the sales team of the light of the year. The last three or four years and elliotts journey as a Space Systems engineer has taken him from the far reaches of ecuador, puerto rico and nyc to the cutting edge lunar and Martian Program with a Strong Foundation in mechanical and Electrical Engineering from the university michigan, elio has played an instrumental in groundbreaking missions like nasa jpls mars 2020, where he contributed to the success of the perseverance rover and ingenuity mars helicopter. Most recently, he has worked on blue lunar human landing system, a product of diverse cultural experiences. Elio is driven by a deep passion for exploration expansion and creating opportunities for all to access the wonders of space. When hes not busy pushing the boundaries of human knowledge, elio shares his insights through talks, volunteer work and, mentorship. Join elio on his quest to reach for the stars and empower others to do the same. So everyone, please, a warm welcome to our featured guests. So needless to say youre a badass. Can i say that surrounded by them to me. But i want to start first and foremost by saying thank you, elio, for sharing your story with all of us. Thank you all for being here and supporting leo and thank you for including me here tonight. Im honored and humbled and you know that i love you. So i was going to start by asking you to share with us what you think will surprise most of the readers. But i figured im going to share what surprised me the most we instead and im going to when i met you we both serving on the National Board of directors with the society of hispanic professional engineers. As i was a professional board member, Vice President of region two and elio was the undergraduate student representative and he was this feisty, young man that was intent on accomplishing all the goals that he had set out for the student representatives. And i thought to myself, who is this kid with this passion, you know, you go and hes shared a lot of his story me throughout the years. You know, a lot of times after cocktails. But i think what has surprised me the most is to let listen and read because i did both with the book, the tenacity and the grit that have that i wasnt fully aware i mean, i had a feeling, but i wasnt fully aware of the trajectory that you had to go through, get to where you are and you have the ghana to keep going and with that youve inspired me to reconnect with my ganas and to reconnect with the tenacity and the grit that i think we all have growing up as kids of immigrant race or whatever our stories are, because we all have stories to reconnect with the garners, the want the need to to persevere and be tenacious about the passions that we. So for that, i want to say thank you my goodness and make me cry too early not yes. And you know theyre recording so im one of the passages that really hit home me when to be you know that really made it evident to me that you were about to embark a very ambitious journey and as a child is in chapter six, which is fittingly titled or page 67. So well get to that page. And i had it here and it went away. But chapter six is titled built to be tougher than expected. So why dont you share that passage . Us i this is emotional because mean first of all im so that youre here we were chatting and i daddy knows me like knows me and its super special to share this moment with you and i hope we we keep doing this keep writing. Okay this this passage in particular is very special because it it talks, it touches upon one of the most difficult moments in my life was my transition in between cultures, between puerto rico, moving to new york city and at the same time highlights the the love that around me were ready to give me. And with that ill just start in 2006 when we arrived in new york on cusp of winter, when the long, blustery nights ate away, precious hours. My dear oscar and his wife jenny took us. This time in mill basin, brooklyn. Mommy bunked with my dear miriam, who also living there at the time in the room of his three bedroom house. I slept on an inflatable mattress in the living room downstairs, their cargo with their cocker spaniel gringa, where id stay up late. American Ninja Warrior george lopez the fresh prince of belair, as on g4. If anyone catches that until i dozed off by, then my allergies had subsided. Earlier in the book, i describe a terrible asthma attack that i had puerto rico. That wasnt to too long before this, but at that point, asthma was kind of gone. When morning came, i lug the inflated mattress up to moms room and leave it there until it was time to call it a night again. As the days slowly tick by, my lips were permanently chapped by the frosty weather cracking and bleeding like my heart. I connected with my friends online. The chats were tinged with knowing that there were more than i thought that they were more than a thousand miles apart with no Winter Clothes to keep us warm. My uncle gave me a hoodie and soon after my aunt bought me a green lands end jacket that i carried with me for several about a week ago, week or so, after our arrival, my dp let us swung by, pick me up and innocently took me to claus to see a santa claus at a mall as a middle school boys loved santa, i then that she still saw me as that same little kid from seven years before we had a lot of readjusting and reacquaint ahead of us. I still lived in spanish in my head often, catching myself, saying, compromiso in a store instead of excuse me, i bet my tongue to resist greeting on the street. The hugs acquaintances offered instead of a quick kiss on the cheek, threw me off. I missed my island. So boricua, im going to cnn luna although born in ecuador im boricua through and through i speak spanish like a puerto rican and i know where to go for the best. So out in area, suddenly i was no longer perceived as simply alien. I was different. I a foreigner, i was an immigrant. Was this what my mom had always felt . Maybe now it was my turn to face around in the ongoing battle of others perceive me versus who i am beautiful. I think what struck me most about that past passage was the perception in that you talk about perception of who you are versus the perception that others have of ours. And its very telling of kids, not just kids of immigrants, also immigrants coming. Right. They have a perception of themselves that they dont often share with others shame or for belittled or whatever their feelings are. I think that applies not to immigrants but also to all of us. We all have a perception of ourselves versus the perception that others have that can play to our or play to our insecurities. So theres another passage along the same lines of that right there, like for you to share page 81 that paints a story of how many immigrant s and children of immigrants like what we go through sometimes thats and i think right before i go into that not too many spoilers but a moving to new york was incredibly challenging and this is a story i share often is that i was faced with immediate backlash for my grades being too good because i was an immigrant and who could believe that an immigrant was so smart and deserve of being accepted into prestigious schools in new york city . And my grades deflated at the time and. I always wonder if my mom with out knowing any english if she have fought for me with uncle in the district as she did and those grades wouldnt have been change what my life would have been like. And its one of those things that i can imagine how many kids are out there, right, that are being held back their own counselors and we dont really know because maybe their parents dont know how to fight these things and they take as is. Right. So i think its its really important for us that are involved in the community to kind of Pay Attention to these things and empower themselves. And if we can, their parents as well to fight for their children. So with that being said, yeah, the next page, 80, this one is about my mom. And if you read my book, you could tell that i love my mom quite a bit. Its dedicated to her. All right. So lets see here. Lily candela, right when i was in high school and this is kind of what is about i. I was kind of a troublemaker, although she probably didnt have much of a choice. Mom was with me taking public transportation, which meant i was gripped by a freedom had never felt before. My mom was working two jobs. This is while i was in high school in new york city. She was working two jobs as a home attendant, the elderly and cleaning offices with my. I will keep in mind this she had nearly a 30 year career teaching in ecuador before and and in puerto rico before we had to move to new york city. When i arrived home early school, shed ask me to start chopping some vegetables and prep the kitchen for dinner, which i enjoyed because i like cooking. But most of all, i like lending her hand when i could a few times a month. And those days, when she was overworked and exhausted and knew i didnt have any important Extracurricular Activities going on, shed give me a call and ask me to meet her. At one of the offices in the flat iron area to help her finish that days cleaning shift. To that note i have for my friends that have been to my to my house, my apartment, i have right in front of my bed this massive black and white photo of the flat iron building, which is really cool it looks beautiful. But to me its a constant reminder of like that area is where i would go clean offices with. My mom, i lost myself here knowing the enormous effort she made for us. I dropped what. I was doing and headed straight over. As much as i appreciated her hard work when i left my friends to join my mom, i usually i usually excuse by saying, see you later, i have to go help my mom at the office deliberately giving them just enough info so that not to incite follow up questions. Sometimes that didnt work and someone would pipe up and ask more about her job. Id answer works in an office for some doctors. Never specifying that she was there to clean. I wish i could say the contrary, but i felt a sense of shame about her jobs. Mostly because thats how she felt about them herself. My sentiment, a reflection of her own frustrations. After all, she was a College Graduate who had been a teacher and a principal influencing. The lives of hundreds of students. And now she was cleaning offices again, taking care of old people. It me years to recognize mommys hustle. She swallowed her pride and dealt with her shame just to give me a better shot of life perception or as we call it. Ill tell you one is an enormous burden and a barrier in. Hispanic communities, it keeps us in line with preconceived beliefs of restraint and fear of the unknown and can prevent us from finding our own voice and using it. Only time and experience have allowed to unlearn these beliefs and take control of my narrative. Staying on my goals, rather than how others perceive me, which is beyond my control. In retrospect, i wish would have had the wisdom then to tell that there was absolutely nothing be ashamed of. But i was too young to understand this at the time. Yeah. So i tell this all the time and shes my inspiration that she i am where i am. Thanks to her. We talk nearly every and right now shes in new york city. I was just hanging out with her last week and yeah its a its been redefining relationship with my mom too recently and we may we may dive into that a bit more. Yeah, but its yeah, shes incredible. So its very throughout the book that your mom is your rock and your found and has been. Your role dog, you know, and understand that because im also you have a brother and you share a lot very eloquently about your brother but you really were raised as a child by your mom. So you guys have very special bond of, single child, single mom that i understand as well. Im also a single mom and a single mom child. So i understand and the ebbs and flows of that. How has it changed throughout the years because in the its like were thick, were together and were going to fight through anything that comes our way. But were also comes responsibilities that you took on that are clear in the and so how are you with for sure its and her health yeah yeah weve been navigating this especially in recent. Throughout my life she has always been present and ive fortunate enough to be able to support her in financial ways more now than than ever so so there are times i can now tell her like or well since she stopped working she can chill and if anything like i can support whatever she needs, if she needs to travel its she still holds on to this idea that its going to cost money. Im like, dont even worry about it. Like that is no a problem. Like, we can fly between the coasts. However, there are some Health Issues prevent that from happening. So so theres a bit of a game that i have to play to figure out how to get to the east coast often or to how does my mom travel accompanied by someone . Because you get on a plane by herself. So its been difficult. Its been very tough challenge, particularly because as i am gaining all this freedom that we didnt have as i was growing up, she has become in a way, more restricted and suspended and dependent and, dependent and part of it is navigating that while not being not acting as a parent for me has been something that ive been trying to stop and empower her to make decisions her own and in a way inspiring her by the stuff that ive been through, especially and and talking with her more like a son which has interesting and these past six months in particular because ive really needed her in an emotional ways something that i do talk about is that you growing up as as close as we were we didnt really about emotions and we werent necessarily game for it had no time and it was just of go about theres things that have to be done and she admitted just a few weeks ago that ive ive taught her how to express herself and, express love to not just me but our family. So thats been a beautiful thing about the book, too, is that only has the relationship with my mom changed in a i think very positive ways. But the relationship with the rest of the family too. Weve been going through some hard situations cancer sucks and the family is tighter than i think weve ever been. So its its been difficult to have some conversations that led to this book to clarify some memories. But at the same time, an incredible process, not just for i think its fair enough to say ive seen some family members repair their relationships, too. So its been very special. So speaking of repairing relationship keeps you very, very eloquently. Im saying that word again because it was eloquent, talked about your distant relationship with your father. How intense of redeveloping and redefining relationship with their parents, because i think their ebbs flows with parents. Right. Where were the kids . And then somehow they sort of become dependent on us, especially kids of immigrants. And we were translators were like, you know all kinds of things to our parents. And that relationship of changes or flip flops like are you parent, am i the parent whose parents sometimes yeah. Aside from that relationships with our parents change over time and and you shared very nicely that the distant relationship with your father and how your mom encouraged you to still have a relationship with him comes in from afar. Yeah thats very important because it allowed you to reach as you were ready. Yeah how is that going now. Its hard its incredibly difficult. Specially with the book. Yeah. So some have actually happened in the last few weeks and i mean, im working through this actively with with my dad in particular throughout my life. I will say and just highlight like my mom is this is an angel. Like despite the emotion and all abuse because really thats what it is if you read between the lines like she never made it. She was never a villain to me in any way or form. If she would always push for me to buy phone cards, that was still a thing in the 2000, right . By cards for Long Distance calls and stay connected and, have conversations, even if that was once a month or whatever it so as an adult, we talked about this her recently she sees how as an adult its been weighing on me because now i see the injustice. I see the effects i see what has led ultimately to some suffering. My mom and i that was like, i cant put it aside. It was it wasnt due to to my fact to my my dad being an and i fortunate, i was protected from that as a kid. But now its just like, what can i do it . And there are things that im actively working on and. Part of that is also being careful not to be a parent with my mom and being there as a son and seeing whatever, you know, figuring what she wants to do and respecting that to, creating healthy boundaries. Yes so my got so much of that and and at same time asking my tough questions. I think in the book i share the story of the first time i saw him after not seeing him since was in kindergarten. And i saw him when i was a sophomore in college 14 years ago. Some suspect Something Like that. And it was weird because i wasnt sure what he was even going to look like. And i had a distinct version of him in my head that i kind of held on to. There werent many pictures. Hes not all that active on social media. So at the he had recently gone, he had just had an accident. So he was in a cane and whatnot. So he is like, i get my height him. Hes still tall, green man. Um, and that was a bit surreal when. I met him in person then and, uh, it was superficial and kind of stayed that way for many years until i confronted him again later in like 29, 2017, i think is when i went down to ecuador for a wedding and at that point i confronted him with some stories. Im like, i want to know more like, why did you do the things that you do . And he carries himself an arrogance that i cant fully explain. And hes very proud he has like eight children with four different women. Stereotype latino machista you like it is what it is and hes of that so under standing that thats just how he is and then im probably never going to get a true emotional apology from him its something ive had to learn to accept. And now that. Im way more conscious of how these things make me feel, trying to figure out what kind of relationship i want to have with him. So navigating that, were doing that live and been, its been empowering im still and its made me grateful for the male figures in my life the men that have showed up have been incredible to me throughout my entire life and now its its its part of that part of some of my incredible like, male friends. Uh community, some that are right here. Yeah. That just express love and look out for each and theres theres. Ive been protected from the typical toxic masculinity because of it. Its something that ive learned to realize and also what i read in the book was how you were surrounded