Be navigate. This is just over 90 minutes. P good afternoon, everyone. My name is michael orrick, director of nyu washington, d. C. Its my pleasure to welcome you to todays event. Nyu washington, d. C. And the American Association of University Women will present a series of panelled conversations through october 2017 around aauws stand up to sexisms campaign. Join us live or in person to learn more about how to fight gender bias. This is the second panel in this series entitled the f word. How to be a feminist in the workplace. Todays discussion will focus on the challenges women face while navigating film nashville at work. Its my pleasure to introduce you the introducer for the panel. [ applause ] great. Thanks, michael. Hello, everyone. Thank you so much for joining us today for our second discussion, our second panel series from both nyu washington, d. C. And aauw. As michael said, this second panel is titled the fword. How to be a memphis in the workplace. The fword were referring to here is a little different than what you might be thinking. Were referring to feminism. Im embarrassed to say that i didnt admit to myself that i was a feminist until my snore ye sophomore year of high school, which is shocking considering the amount of time i spent on the Basketball Court to prove to myself and others that i was skblu as good as the guys. Like many women, i was afraid of labeling myself as a feminist for fear of being jungd. Years later, i came to my senses and i realized the importance of feminism. Particularly intersectional feminism. In college i ended up majoring in womens studies and i actually brought an aauw student to campus to fight for women equality. Now working for aauw, a womens advocacy organization, i have the honor of fighting for womens rights every single day. Other women i know are not so lucky. Aauw created our hashtag stand up to sex. Campaign to encourage women and allies to stand against sex ichlg and to share how and why they do that in their local communities. Here is a video that has helped aauw spread this important message. Well, good. I think this page is set. Do you agree . I agree. Definitely agree. Ok. Great. Then lets move on. Page 5 . Cloir. Dont be so emotional. Women arent natural leaders. You should smile more. Lets face it. Women have heard it all. Especially in the workplace. Aauws Research Report barriers and bias, the status of women in leadership explains that gendered micro immigrations like these contribute to the gender leadership gap. Even seemly small sexist comments hurt womens confidence and devalue women work. And every day sexism doesnt stand alone. It p often comes cup md with ablism, racism, ageism, are transphobia, handle februaomoph religious discrimination, you name it. What can we do . How can we combat sexism at work and yoond . Aauw exists for women to push past sexism on campus, in their local communities, and in the workplace. One of the hurdles of addressing sexism is first identifying it and then starting a conversation to stop it. Being a memphis and being a professional are not mutually exclusive. Our experts on our panel today are going to share some insight into how everyone regardless of their gender identity can be a part of the change. Now it is my honor to introduce the amazing incredible panel that weve assembled for today. And im going to start first with our moderator for the afternoon, nicole kyroga, general something of telemundo washington, d. C. And richmond, virginia. [ applause ] thank you. Next we have jennifer dezar, writing and founder of get bullish. Com, a website for career feminists. [ applause ] next we have dr. Avis jones deweaver art r and founder of the institute for women. [ applause ] next we have patricia valloy. [ applause ] and last with you not least we have suzanna weiss, a free lance writer. [ applause ] thank you everyone. Nicole. Thank you. P good afternoon. The thank you for being here. Its such a pleasure to be representing telemundo and to be with such an established panel. So n good afternoon. We also appreciate everyone thats joining us via live stream and watching on cspan. So welcome. Its wonderful to see such an amazing interest in this very important and critical topic. So really lets get right down to it. Being alfeminist in the workplace today. One of the main n challenges of being a feminist in the workplace is dealing with the daily occurrences of sexism. As we just said, sexism in the workplace can take many forms coupled with ablism, racism, ageism, sizism, transphobia, homophobia and more. Its important to remember that they can look different to each one of us as we are all from different sbler sectional identiti identities. However, we want the workplace to be a more accepting place. Today well be discussing the challenges that each of us face in the workplace from microrow aggressions to harassment and how really to overcome them. Suzanna im going to start with you. Youve written on jenlder issues, sex and relationship and womens health. Youve covered many topics relative to this panel. But first help us put workplace sexism in context, could you explain more than gendered microrow address . Sure. Micro aggression is something thats not very obvious form of oppression but in the workplace it might be Something Like using phrases like it guys or in the Tech Industry i saw a lot glifrg out only male shirts, Little Things that make women feel excluded, o or microrow can be be anything. It could be microaggression, bu gendered microaggression would be a small action that people do all the time without realizing it that make women feel like theyre lesser, or other oppressed genders. From the way that you just said it, this is something that immediately i can tell you happened maybe three times today. Is that right . So something that happens and were unconsciously unaware, i would say, right . Patricia, can you tell us about how youve incorporated your latino and stem identities, or latinista, or stemminista. I personally never had a problem with merging all three. I always felt like there was no way i could put aside my latino identity, by identity as a professional in engineering and my identity as a feminism and i always wanted to incorporate all those three things into my activism. I did have a hard time, though, finding a place that i think understood what that meant or looked like. So when it came time to join activist circles, it was like, its a feminist thing, or this is for latinos. I had to carve out my own space. I started doing it by writing my own blog and writing about those intersections. Never belittling one thing or the other. This is all that i am and im going to talk about it as it happens to me. Little by little, it happens. I deal with feminine those are the places that accept my identities, to allow me to talk about it, to press them and to allow me to be my full self. Thats greatest. Do you find that youre often having to choose one space or another . I know you said youve identified your own space, but when you go into the workplace, do you have to choose what space to walk in . It does happen often. Id lie if i say that im all the time all three unashamed. Its hard for me to be a fullout latino feminist in my workplace and walk about racism and microaggressions and all the things i would talk about in feminist circles. So i talk about stem issues, statistics, women in stem, people of color in stem, and i try to use numbers. Its a way to kind of bring a little bit of that, a little bit of my latino and my feminist activism into the stem world. And likewise, it happens when im in feminist circle, i have to think about how i speak, the language that i use, and whats going to get peoples attention. Thats really all that matters, but its part of being anactivist. I feel like if im not making an effort to get my audience interested in what im trying to teacher, then im not doing a very good job. I think its kind of an art to pull together who you need to be at that moment to heighten or further your agenda. So congratulations on that. Ill move over to dr. Avis. Hi. You are diversity, equity, and inclusion solutionist and a career strategist. You have built your career helping women achieve their professional goals as well as their personal ones. It doesnt appear that theres much of a demand for mens career strategists. [ laughter ] and this profession would look much more different, i would imagine, for men clients. So what does the need for your profession, in other words, helping women, what does that say about institutionalized sexism in the workplace . It says that its institutionalized, its normalcy. We talked about microaggressions and the reality of conscious bias and how thats in our culture. When people think of the word leader, most people, the image they have in their mind, its a man, and more specifically, typically a white male. So when we talk about women being able to pierce through that cultural parra dime and assert themselves as leaders in the workplace, it takes a little bit more maneuvering and advance thought than what men have to put into it, so its this extra burden that women bear when it comes to being able to navigate their way to leadership or just navigate in maledominated professions. There are different skills associated with that, that women have to take on this extra burden to learn and be good at in order to be able to achieve the positions that they are well qualified for and deserve to be in, in the first place. Jennifer, as a Business Owner in a feminist space, it looks like you operate in almost an entirely female world. All of your employees, conference attendees, consumers, fans, mostly all women. So do you still encounter sexism in that area . First off, i would like to say what a great pleasure that is. The first decadeplus of my career was not like that. And so, yeah, existing in a world made up almost entirely of women, at least professionally, is fantastic. Its refreshing, like a cool feminist beverage. Never heard that, thats great. So one thing that i really enjoy about it, for instance, theres been a lot of writing about how women apologize too much. Like we should all stop saying sorry. Theres a Chrome Extension that you can get, that changes im sorry to something else, like millenials are snake people. Changes it so we dont apologize so much. But heres the thing, are women apologizing too much . Not if everybodys doing it. Canadians are apologizing a lot, and its not a problem as long as they stay in canada. Its a problem when one comes here and apologizes because not everybodys in the same system. When you say, have a good day, thats not really, you know. There are so many niceties that we engage in that are not intended to give a literal meaning. So when im walking in an office with my two employees, its an office warehouse, so my Company Sells kitschy feminist goods, and socks with swears on them. And were bumping up against each other a lot, so its constantly, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, and everyones doing it, and its super not a problem. When you say sorry, its not like, i dont feel like i deserve space in the world, im a bad, person, i have low selfconfidence. No, its like saying, sorry, is like, i would like to keep getting along with you awesomely. Sometimes when you give somebody money for a product, you say thank you. The person you bought the donut from, you each say thank you to each other four times. And nobody has low confidence. Its just a social signal that youre saying, i would like this traction to go smoothly, and i would like to workplace to be pleasant and everythings good. So while i do feel like not all good are the same, but nevertheless, in an allfemale workplace, i do find at least that aspect con forms to what you might expect. I enjoy that. I do have to do business with men sometimes. It does happen. Occasionally men come into the office and theyre like, its warm in here. Im like, yeah, its 74. Im not going to wear a sweater in the summer in my own office. Im not doing that. But its nice to have kind of a centering, like women are the default here. In my online store, we sell womens socks, so i didnt bother to say womens in front of the socks, then i started to sell a few for mens, like for gifts. So i started getting male customers buying the socks and assuming if they didnt have a gender on them, they must be mens socks. And i got Customer Service emails, like i bought these socks, and some of them are womens socks. And i was like, what makes you think they wouldnt be . You bought socks from a feminist web store. Process to return. But women are the default where i am and i feel like a little bit of that in the world is a nice thing. I have to say, i agree with all of that. And the conversation usually sways to how women hold women back. And while youre right, i know, while youre right on the saying, i do that too, i say, thank you, or im sorry, im sorry, im sorry, and i get told, dont, you dont have to apologize. Thats a great way of saying it. Its not a weakness. Just a social way of getting along. That men should learn. I agree. My question to you is that for the purpose of identifying things we women can stop doing to each other, do you find in your female space there are things that we are doing to each other subconsciously or not that we shouldnt be doing, that were holding each other back and not really knowing were doing it . I think i just pick good women. Good. Good, good. Can i tell you a little anecdote about the last time i tried to have a business meeting with a dude. I do have an anecdote. This happened. One thing nice about being in a feminist workplace. I do business with men, but i dont need it. Theres a huge difference going into a Job Interview and i need this job to move my career forward, rather than this guy wants to be my client, should go like that. So i was having coffee with a guy, he wanted me to teach a class in london. Thought it would be a cool opportunity, sounds nice. Ill just skip to the good part. He asked me a bunch of pointed questions about where my child was yeah, that happened. Im like, its a coughffee meet. There are so many perfectly safe places that a child could be. So that was very strange. After that and a bunch of other bizarre personal questions, he then went on to say, i love working with mothers. Anytime someone says it sounds like its set up to be a compliment, but by definition, its going to be like i love working with, identity group, nothing good can come from that. He was like, i love working with mothers. And i was like, please tell me why. Heres the answer, because they expect so little and theyre so grateful. I cant even begin to comment on that comment. That really happened, and it was nice to just never talk to that person again. Well, being that this is made for tv, were just going to move on from that. But thank you for the example which is really very true in our everyday lives. And so ill open this up, the next couple of questions for the panel. Again, the title of this discussion is the f word, how to be a feminist in the workplace. Of course the f word, notwithstanding the last story is here to say feminist how and why its outwardly identifying as a no. Why is it that when we identify ourselves as feminists, this is still so taboo in todays workplace . Its almost frowned upon if you say youre a feminist . I guess ill start. Only because im at total opposite of you. I work in a male dominated field where most of my meetings are devoid of other women but myself, and usually devoid of color. So i found myself afraid to use the word feminist. I think i went years without saying. When i have to travel for a presentation or a panel, im going to talk about women in engineering. And i got tired of feeling like i was walking on egg shells around the language. Hi to kind of question, like, why is it that im scared . I started realizing that i was just worried they would see me as militant, angry. I thought i would be treated differently. I thought for sure, theyre like, well, if shes a feminist, then shes probably talking about us. Believe me, they think i talk about them all the time. So i had to almost get this inner strength to be like, i dont care what you think about me, i dont care what you think i do. In my activism. I dont care that you read my writing, because im not saying anything that you dont also experience every day, because a lot of it is coming from your mouth. A lot of it. So little by little, i learned how to weave that kind of word into conversations. Id be like, this weekend im going to go to a feminist conference. And theyre like, oh, are you . Yes, i am. And im like, do you have daughters . It was kind of like oh, i think your wife would really enjoy it. You should tell her about it. And kind of weave it into that. And i would get a lot of side eye, a lot of sighs, a lot of concerned looks. And eventually just became like, oh, thats just the feminist in the office. And i was absolutely okay with it. And it felt freeing to finally be like, this is who i am. And i did find that they were a lot more careful around me after i came out as a feminist. I came out, you know, it was like this big deal. I remember thinking about it the night before, like im going to use the word feminist in a sentence in my office today. But, you know, after that, i made like i changed something. They definitely thought about their actions a lot more. You know, when they would Say Something sexist in front of me, like i just had to look at them, and theyre like, okay, i know, i got it, i apologize. I was like, yeah, you should. You should. It was just that scolding look all the time. And i didnt want to become everybodys feminist teacher in the office, but it felt very powerful. I think that youre gaining the respect right at the beginning, where youre not as sure if you want to come out and say Something Like that, you know, what does it mean to them, what does it mean for me. But ultimately heightening awareness in the office is exactly what we want, right . And so i think i congratulate you on your effort. I want to ask what your experience with that has been as well. I think people are so afraid to call themselves a feminist, because a lot of people dont know what feminism means. When ive said it, people will say, but you seem pretty feminine, or oh, what your problem with men . So if peoples image of a feminist is somebody who hates men and is out to get everyone, then of course theyre not going to like it if you say youre a feminist. So part of it is educating people that feminism means you believe in equalities and that does mean men will have to give up some of their privilege. You dont have to water it down and say, not all men are against women. You shouldnt have to do it. Sexism exists, even if its not all men. So we shouldnt have to cushion our language, but we should we just need more awareness that feminism is about equality and things arent equal now because many men believe they are. Once they can see that actually things arent equal, theyre not looking t