Lets welcome our guests. She likes her men like her greens, collared. He has to return to his sad life, political satirist and liberal hunk john. What a word, by the way. And he works for grown ups, and grownups 2. See what i did there . Nice job. Sitting next to me, tv writer, producer, subscribe please, rob long. Lets start the show. President s days are numbered if a group of harry potter obsessed Harvard Students have their way. Students have launched a resistence school to battle the president s agenda and they compare their movement to Dumbledores Army. Met in the room of requirement. The room contained whatever a wizard needed at that given moment. For instance, if i walked into the room, there would be a new show for me to host. Its getting sad already. We had a whole hour to just hold it together. Dont cry, tom . Tom shillue the resistence school consists of a 4week program that will, as they put it, sharpen the tools they need to fight back at the federal, state, and local levels. Wow, this is really something. John. Yes, tom. Tom shillue i asked you in the green room to do me a favor. Are you going to be able to to live up to that . Yes, ill do it. For this show ill give them a chase and i will embrace conservative values. Tom shillue isnt it time the resistence put away their tools and get used to it for four years. Dont you think thats what they should do . Get used to it, huh . Tom shillue yeah. I think these students should just get used to it. They should embrace the plans to make America Great again. Tom shillue thank you, thank you, john. No, tom. Its for you. Tom shillue thank you. These students are ridiculous. All theyre doing is standing up for their beliefs about equality, about sticking up for other people, about fighting the police, about pushing back. Tom shillue john. On a president whos a gangster capitalist. Tom shillue you lasted 40 seconds. I said for the show. Can you just do it for me . Look, the resistence, are they going to be able to keep up this energy . Theyve been frothing since the election. Why do they need a school . [ chuckles ] when they talk about equality, heres what i dont understand. It was the fact that these left wing liberals treated everybody who lives between the atlantic and the Pacific Ocean or between the atlantic and california as toothless hayseeds who are idiots, sexist, racist, just because they didnt want to vote for hillary clinton. How is that equality . There you go. They dont believe in equality. They believe in telling the American People what to do and when we dont like it then we are a bunch of nazis. Tom shillue we set up the polls here, rob. Bring in a voice of reason here. Heres the thing. Dagen makes a great point in that. I did . Tom shillue yes. This resistence. What is this . All the language is crazy theyre drama queens. A bunch of drama queens. Dumbledores army . In a way its brilliant because theyre pretty much certain that the president has seen that movie. He may actually be scared of them. Its not impossible that he believes theyre magic. Lets just accept that. Theres a 10 chance hes thinking oh, no, dumbledore army. Tom shillue do you think hes read the books . I didnt i say that. I have not read the books and i have not seen all the movies. Tom shillue i read the first book. Sure. Tom shillue and i saw the films. Well, yeah, kids. Tom shillue yeah. I felt like dumbledore was the bad guy. You read it up side down. Hes the good wizard, dom. Tom shillue he is . Who was the guy what was his name . Voldemort . Youre not supposed to say his name. Voldemort. I have a soft spot. Okay, as a conservative, um, the the, the, im going to try here, these liberals, these millennials, these liberals, man, they all think theyre special wizards and everyones a muggle, but theyre not. Tom shillue there you go. Like libertarians think theyre wizards. The army is like the guys in the original red dawn. Wolverines, patrick swazey, Charlie Sheen before all the drug problems had the and the whores. The red dawn army, find the commies. Hot patrick swayze, hes going to win, not these libera sense . Yeah, but this conversation may be somewhat related to the cancellation of this show. Wait a minute. Rob, how does that work in . I dont understand. I just thought i would dumbledore, red dawn. Theyre stupid kids, paying a lot of money at government, behaving like kids who have only read one book, and its that one book. Tom shillue is it the trouble to the resistence or to other conservatives. Youre no fan. His trouble is the economy, his trouble is the world, his trouble is the fact that its a hard job and solutions are a lot more complicated than he let on. His struggle is hes got to build a wall now. His trouble is all the stuff the bed he made for him. Thats not something the Kennedy School of government is going to have any affect on or twister or fox news or ms nba c his trouble is actually reality. I dont disagree with rob actually. Tom shillue see, this is what were doing. Let me rephrase it, then. Its an infantile fantasy and if the resistence is going to be serious they need to tackle actual political issues and not boil this real life into this silly morality play that they grew up on. Beautiful, john. Thank you. Tom shillue next story, is it time to add marriage to the list of great things millennials are screwing up. Young americans are u more unlikely to get hitched than their parents. More than half are singles while in the 19802thirds of americans in that age range were already married. Millennials are lagging behind on the traditional markers of adulthood and even millennials who are getting hitched are doing it wrong. Look at this, a young man named William Oliver is trying to crowd fund the cost of a 15,000dollar Engagement Ring. The 30 year old explains quote, money for the engagement is your chance to get involved. I think this is a pretty interesting idea. What do you think, rob long. Hes 30. Tom shillue what . Hes 30. Buy your own damn ring. Youre 30 . But youre 30. Thats like at 30 people were, they were generals in world war two. There were 30 year old whose were doing important jobs. Hes a grown man. What kind of grown man asks other people to buy if i was his fiancee or his girlfriend, i wouldnt want to marry this guy. At 30 years old he cant figure out how to buy an Engagement Ring . The big loser is a man whos 30 and buys an Engagement Ring. You give the Engagement Ring, you get married, when you get divorced, the [bleep] gets to keep it. Its hers. I know this because ive been married twice. You get to keep it. You dont have to give it back, thats how the law sees it. One of us had said that it would have been a whole big thing. Is that like the Old Neighborhood coming out there . Hey, you know. Earn if one of us said it it would be a big thing. Tom shillue but is this from the womans perspective, hes really blowing it out. He cant afford a good ring. If he crowd funds it he can give her a big rock. Shes going to benefit even if they do get divorced. Shes got to be on the phone working that, raising money. Yeah. For that ring. Go ahead, you can finish. I was going to say i can tell you why millennials arent getting married but. Why . Why . Because young women dont Millennial Women dont want to marry millennial men. Millennial man doesnt know how to use a chain saw, probably doesnt own one, doesnt know how to change a tire, riding a skateboard wearing skinny jeans, smells like ar titisinal bacon marmelaide and desperation. That is incredibly accurate. Im not entirely sure what my opinion is. Tom shillue you dont know how to use a chain saw either. Im what you call an artist. I write, i have feelings and i write those feelings out and thats what i do. Tom shillue i bet, you know, from your liberal perspective, you dont even believe in the institution of marriage, do you john . Its another thing its almost divorce. Were going to keep it together for this show. Were going to keep it together. Its another thing the baby boomers have ruined was american. The other thing they brought to the table was divorces. All these millennials are children of divorce and they want to do it right. There are certain economic realities that all of you are blind to. And its tough to be 30 right now. Jobs arent that many jobs. Stop. Its not just coal mining out there today. A year ago we were sitting here and you were telling me how many great jobs obama created. Hes 30. Hes a 30 year old man. At 30 you should be on your way. Either being dying in a pointless war or making money. They paid quarter of a Million Dollars to go to liberal art school and study the works of and cant get a job because they dont know how to use anything other than an iphone. Noam chomsky is an excellent author. Were doing a show here, and you know, theres other stuff happening in this show right now. Youre talking about the sub tenth the fact that this show is u bow to go away. Im trying not to cry. As usual we talk a lot and learned nothing. Coming up. We look back on some of our favorite red eye moments. My first book. Pay attention to this. Mean dads for a better america, its available for and you have the red eye manhattan. That is so good. All thou here. I wasnt done yet. I wanted more. Cheers, tom. Stop by for a drink some time. Tom shillue yes my bartender, bill. He made a special drink for me. Sounded pretty good. Tom shillue so does the last red eye. Thanks, obama. Oh, god. Tom shillue lets look back at some recent moments, shall we . [ sing songy ] come with me and youll be in a world of pure imagination. Awesome. Father of pacman masiah nakamura has died at the age of 91. 3 00 a. M. Watch red eye or as they call it ojo rojo. I left my keys in the car, my feet are freezing, i need some boots. I can say i wasnt an elite athlete but ive seen. Super man can do all the stuff aqua man can do and go on land. Im almost done. That was hard. Tom shillue tom shillue, the guy from red eye. Whatd you make of meryl streep . Football and mma, what are they going to go after next . Hot dogs, apple pie and chevrolet . Thats the power of storm. Can i get an a shocky ducky. Ah shucky ducky. Ah, shucky ducky. Tom shillue tvs andy leavy knew neil gorsich in college and started a campus and newspaper with him. Lets bring in andy. Thank you for joining us. Im not really comfortable talking about this, tom. Putin claims russias prostitutes are the best in the world. Okay, u american prostitutes i hope you are going to take that lying down. Mike lives in an undisclosed location. Mike invented crack cocaine to maintain the class. I knew it. We have a surrogate and hillary supporter on the panel. Put 30 seconds on the clock tell me what does it mean . It means the clintons have a problem and that the liberal media isnt so biast, actually. Did i win . Thank you. Andy, you said that texting with your mom involved a 20minute delay. I did. Thats never been my experience. Now i have to tell my mom not to watch this [bleep] episode. Thanks, charles. Youre welcome. Dont worry, ill tell her first. America is at a cross roads. It need as leader, and that leader is not. Im not and he didnt pay for this. Look at those legs im going to eat it. Why not . Youre not. It will get caught in your teeth. I thought it moved. Are you serious . As you point out, theres something that relatively safe and happens on a firly regular basis. Oh my god. Watch me, watch me, [music] whats going to do without us pumping him up . That needed music, that needed sad music. Thats why we ended it with watch me, watch me. I wanted to end it on an up note. Thats good. They canceled us so quick we had to scramble to assemble these clips. Ive been there. Tom shillue that would have been an impressive reel. That happened, like, three days ago. You had time. Tom shillue we cried for three days. In this business you have to always be ready with a farewell reel. Right. Tom shillue you could have over laid the young and the restless theme of it. Tom shillue i dont think we can use any music. Part of the issues with red eye, and all of fox news, we cant play songs. Theres so many good things we could do if we could have the rights to show these things, but we cant. Every time i want to do something fun, we cant do it. Thats what i tell people, too. We could have done so much better if we only had the beatles. Tom shillue didnt we just show clips of the whole show. It was probably dumb to talk about politics and think we could run a regular show. The three of us are literally cheaper than clips the way you run the show. Im paying to be here. Thats what im here. Im here just to save america. Tom shillue you guys are three top guests. We love you so much on the show. Do you think we could have shown a clip with one of you guys in it, at least . All three of us were kind of waiting for that, didnt want to say anything. But usually, yeah, you. Dont. Its a sequence of really bad hair days. My hair, when i did red eye, i dont know if its the humidity in the room, but generally does not look good. Youre seeing the clips. You could see i had the beard. I couldnt see that, actually. Tom shillue past the resident artist, doesnt like the beard. Said youve gotta shave, so you did. I shaved for you, just so you know that, just for these last two shows. Coming up, one last half time with tvs andy levy, stick around. Welcome back. Tom shillue time to find out what we got wrong and what weve missed [laughter] tom shillue its been awhile. Shut up, tom, its been awhile. Lets talk to andy levy in the red eye news deck. Andrew levy greg, the show hasnt been canceled, this was your audition to be the new host and man, did you [bleep] it up. Jesus christ. Now hes swearing. Tom shillue now we probably really are canceled. I came here with good news theyre just keeping you andy. Andrew levy oh. Its called half time island, and theres no show and youre there forever. Andrew levy look in the camera like youve done tv before. I have not been in this studio in so long. Ndys just right over there. Andrew levy for two years we held up the illusion i was in times square and we just blew it. I did, i did blew it in many ways. You know that guy from high school that comes back and hangs round. Dazed and confused. Keep living. Andrew levy all right, just some quick stuff on the first half of the show. Harvards Dumbledores Army thing. Remember in the open i said i hope they dont get expelled. Tom shillue yes. Andrew levy i wrote that joke earlier too and to see if i spelled expelliarm us right and i did. Your wit is as dry as ever. Andy pretends he didnt already know how to spell it. Andrew levy it turns out i did. He still humble brags. Andrew levy i have not read those books gotta be at least three months. You said all theyre doing is standing up for their beliefs. Im with you on this, but we gotta stop with the harry potter business. Sure, but i was trying to to what tom ask me to do. Andrew levy youre not even full on progressives. At least i can speck, the bernie people. I am engorged with rage. Andrew levy yeah. Tom, you said you thought dumbledore was the bad guy. Tom shillue yes. Andrew levy if sunny bunch were in the room, stop with the whole bad guys or good guy schtick with the empire and star wars and the voldemort and whatever. Tom shillue but i really mean it. Andrew levy no, you dont. Its just trolling. Its too nerdy for andy levy. Andrew levy be better. Oil millennials are go people in their 30s were generals in world war two. James gavin commanded the 82nd Airborn Division at the age of 36. I knew that little fact. I know these things and im tired of this. Youre not there. Youre over there. Tom shillue its the last chance. Hes over there. Hes right over there. If we had a director they would pan over and show this is all just make belief. Andrew levy rob, we dont have a camera that can pan. Thats right, i forgot. Andrew levy lets just skip ahead of the highlights. You did leave out a few of my personal favorite moments from the tom shillue era. Andrew levy im andy levy filling. Welcome in. Welcome to red eye, hello, im tvs andy levy. Welcome to red eye. Welcome to red eye im tvs andy levy. Tom shillue those were good episodes. Andrew levy i liked those. You were out a lot. You dont think it had any correlation to why the shows ending . Andrew levy you have a book coming out soon, dont you . Tom shillue yes, great timing. Andrew levy shouldnt you have waited to cancel the show until after the book came out . How are you going to plug it . Andrew levy it seems kind of dumb. Tom shillue red eye was purely a vehicle to plug my book. Andrew levy oh, we know. Im doing your show when the book comes out. I canceled you, why do i need you now . Its not like i can get your viewers, you dont have any viewers. Andrew levy hey, greg, were still going to do the podcast. Absolutely. Andrew levy another, do we have time for one more clip . Lets roll it. Andrew, you pointed out correctly i think that infidelity tops the list of morally unaccepted issues because it involves lying, breaking a commitment. Question for you, though, do you think the fact that 92 of americans think infidelity is amoral, but only 91 think polygamy is amoral, means its 1 more to stay married to your wife and the woman youre sleeping with. Andrew mccade is the best. Tom shillue nobody heard the question. It was a clever question. And andrew [bleep] it up for you. I dont see that as a positive thing. Andrew levy thats okay. You know. Andrew levy it was all for the good of the bit. Thats real all that matters. It gives you areas gives you a reason to show that clip. Good for the demo if you were still on the air. Andrew levy and just lastly, tom, you said of the red eye we could have done so much more. Tom shillue yeah. Andrew levy we really are the Oscar Schindler of comedy shows. I am done. [applause] tom shillue thank you, andy. Thats andy levy. Yes. Tom shillue coming up. A look back at the greg years. St this is red eye, a new show about politics, pop culture, its kind of ley like larry king but without the dead guy. Were here with rachel marsden, schultz, and andrew breitbart, and im rita crosby. Im greg gutfeld. The first thing were going to talk about, porn. How many people was that . They did not want us to start with porn. I dont know why we started with porn. You started with macrame and then went to porn. Tom shillue not many people know this but red eye did exist before 2015. That was the year i became the host. That clip was from the very first episode. Former lag mag editor greg gutfeld. Actually lead the show from 2007 to 2015, did you guys know that . That was when what fans referred to as the lean years. In the beginning, red eye aired at 2 0x News Executives moved it to 3 0. Greg wilson, check out his comedy cd potty mouth which is available on itunes and cdbaby. Com. If comedic genius were the flu, hed make me sweat in bed. I didnt think wed get a second viewing, greg. That was more difficult [laughter] you know, you dont see greg wilson much anymore. I think hes teaching comedy in hollywood. I think thats what hes doing. Didnt he do your show, the greg gutfeld show . I dont think so. Oh, okay. But he moved to l. A. And, uh, thats what people do in l. A. Where was he . He was in l. A. What happened to that . We didnt have guests come in from l. A. I hated remotes. Why . Because, uh, its i just didnt feel comfortable talking to somebody from far away. Like having a party but theres somebody standing outside the window. In the early days we would be and it was the worst because everyone in the basement hated us. It was uncomfortable. It was so much fun to have everybody here so then everybody could talk whenever they wanted. Also the time. They took three to 5minute delays from downstairs to here. More for the los angeles stuff. I was talking about downstairs. Lets be honest, it was not a great show. It wasnt. It was a fantastic show. Okay. Guess it was no cheers. Yeah, say. In a weird way i was like the original coach. Who dies. Who was replaced by woody and he looks like woody from toy story. Then woody went on to have a long and colorful career. That is right. Last show. Way to connect with the demo. Yes. We have more clips. Thats not just him, thats every 19 year old or however old he is. Thats how life is. We were like that, now hes like that. You got the help you needed. Yes. You know, so hello . Andy . Where are the guests. Andrew levy what guests . We dont have any guests here, theres no guests here. Theres never been any here. Wow. They really did. That was back when you liked to dress down. Yeah. You dress like a subway master baiter, and i know how they dress. He doesnt actually master bait. Its frotage. Sorry. Andy you started on half time, and then what happened . You went for a long time when i was a guest on the show, you were on the panel and there was no half time. What happened to it . Greg why. We got tired of it. Is that the story youre telling . We got tired of it. Let me put it this way, a large sum of people who were of me were getting tired of it. You said you wanted to be on the panel. You told me, so i put you on the panel. I would just like to say it was a pleasure and a privilege to work with both of you. One of you more than the other. I was not a tyrant. Im also grateful for how much i learned from you. Greg was often grumpy, wasnt he, if the show didnt start on time, things like that . No, no. Ask the crew. The crew is out laughic hysterically. This is why live shows are more fun because live shows you start, you have no choice. Everybody has to start. Nothing breaks down in a live show, and then you do a taped show, something always breaks down, something always has to start over, and people can show up when they want. I dont like that. Although, if you had, if red eye were live, it would never have made it. The things that happened on red eye would have been canceled. We were going to be live at 3 00 a. M. Maybe you should consider that. They want live programming. Im, you know, im consider. Im considering a lot, greg. I think we should be reconsidering a bunch of things. Yeah, yes. That was just one of our mistakes, being taped. I feel like were with a family and theyre fighting. We had the show set cup we invited greg to be here, then greg set back an email saying youre doing stories . Hes like im not doing the ablock its the last show. You murdered my child, and you want and you want me to sit through like you want to humiliate me. While youre here on the last show, lets do some stories that everybodys going to forget on monday. Even murdered children get a funeral, greg. You know what . Wow. I think we have some more clips from old red eye with greg gutfeld. If i want to be a sailor, cant i just be a sailor . You can. You have the mouth for it. One of my favorite, guests, brook brook. She blamed that out rage on islamic terrorism. You were telling me during the break, there was a showed is there an actual tape running . I have no idea how this works because i was an english major. But they forgot i dont want to blame them. Something happened and they werent recording the show. I never heard that happened and we were in i think the d or the e block, which is like youre threequarters of the way through and they said we dont have a show with the dblock. It was tonys fault. Anyway, yeah, it was interesting. Yeah, it was. There was a show that never aired. What two shows that didnt aired . Two or three, yeah. There was one show that didnt air because a certain person found a joke in it objectionable and didnt realize we were taped and could edit it out. So this person says the shows not going to air. What is this person . This guy named jerry. He didnt even work here. He didnt even work here, he just happened to be in the studio and he says no. Thats how things work. Wow. A guy in the studio can schulte you down. You kids dont know nowadays. Things were different back then. We would do the show and by legend those people in the studio would tell other people about the show. Oral legend. It would take literally six to seven years. Some people right now are just getting the first show. Yeah. Most people get it by agency legend. Oh god. Coming up. Dont look at me like that. The final farewell to the show we were so blessed to be a part of it. Or rather the show of which we were so blessed to have been a part. Growing up, we were german. We danced in a german dance group. I wore lederhosen. When i first got on ancestry i was really surprised that i wasnt finding all of these germans in my tree. I decided to have my dna tested through ancestry dna. The big surprise was were not german at all. 52 of my dna comes from scotland and ireland. So, i traded in my lederhosen for a kilt. Ancestry has many paths to discovering your story. Get started for free at ancestry. Com. Coming up on next weeks red eye, a Tucker Carlton repeat. [laughter] oh, yes. Since the announcement that red eye is going away, our twitter feed has been filled with messages like these. Im sick that red eye is leaving, sick. Im finding it disturbing how much i think im going to miss the show. Dont let them take you alive. I tried watching fox because i started watching fox because of red eye. Disbelief came over me as i screamed profanities at this dreadful news. What will i do without my red eye . Red eye is especially unique and beloved show to so many fans. Im heart sick over this cruel decision by fnc. No. Fox news, no. Im heartbroken, absolutely devastated. I finally got a parttime job but i am getting evicted because i cant get a loan. He tells it like it is. Why is it people use emotional terms like these when talking about a lowbudget panel show in the middle of the night . Because we have fun here. Were not trying to teach you anything, were not really fond of preaching, we dont crush anybody, we just want to hang out and talk. And weve never taken ourselves or the news we discuss too seriously have we greg. Never. Tom shillue and a lot is said about diversity in television, but in terms of diversity of opinion, ill put this show up against any show cable news or other wise, leap them up, right, brother . Yes, sir. Tom shillue lets face it, on the palatial estate that it is fox news, red eye was always the guest house out back and we were all as kato kaelin, and two years ago the party almost gut shot down and we turned the lights back on and kept it going. Do you guys understand that . Every show for the past two years has been gravy. Greg, you conned fox news into giving you a show, and then i conned them into letting me continue it. I told them that you were dying and that you would possibly live a bit long far you had a show. Yes. And it worked. Wow. The problem is you told them he was going to die in two years. I should have said five. You could have said five a little bit, but whatever. I didnt want to ask for too much. Tom shillue we kept it going for the fans while you worked tout kinks in your own show. Yes [laughter] tom shillue now thats going great. And they can just. Tom shillue they can flock over there. If there is a Silver Lining to this sad night its that im doing great. Certainly is. More of a copper lining. Tom, if you love the show so much, whyd you phone it in . Its a precious thing. Tom shillue thats the thing during the commercials can i Say Something yeah, go for it. I do want to say one thing, we saw a brief moment for the first red eye of andrew the creative guy here, but the inspiration for red eye, for what you guys are doing. It was a great show, it didnt take itself too seriously. As a viewer i will really miss it. Andrew, trivia, i sent i looked him up online and said i love you. He emailed me back immediately and then he picks up the phone and calls me and said you gotta meet greg gutfeld. I met him at a gay bar, the candle bar. I didnt know it was a gay bar. Of course you didnt. What is this strange bar ive never been to. What a great sports bar. All these guys here are shirtless. Hi, tom. You wanna sing tonight . Tom shillue im here to meet somebody. Tom shillue there was a lot of guys in tank tops and he said you were coming too. He said greg is coming and he never showed up. Were playing in the bar, and then eventually he recommended me to. Who is that . Tom shillue it was the game. Okay. Tom shillue anyway, he recommend mead to you. Andrew breitbart, listen, guys, very special thanks to dagen, john, rob, greg gutfeld, greg i love you. Look at him hes psychotic. Tom shillue most of all you, the red eye fans, the fans you know who you are. Cant thank you all. Stay in touch. Go to my website, im not going anywhere. Stick around. Im tom shillue, that does it for me, goodnight. [applause] [applause] [music] were not done yet. All right. [ ]all right. Judge jeanine right now on justice. Tonight i ordered a targeted military strike. Judge jeanine the military might of america is back. After the broken red line and weakness we have seen syria turned into a war zone. Judge jeanine syria, russia and the world are put on notice, there is a new sheriff in the white house. I would say this about president obama. Im proud of him. Judge jeanine the president s main man on terrorism, Sebastian Gorka is here live
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