Transcripts For FOXNEWSW The Greg Gutfeld Show 20180107 : vi

FOXNEWSW The Greg Gutfeld Show January 7, 2018

Hospitalized at this point or he is going to just kill all of us. Greg that is rich. They heart commenting on insanity. Thats like Harvey Weinstein commenting on feminism. [laughter] 2018 has been great. The high points so far, right outofthebox, trump treats everyone with north koreas nukes. The response the my favorite scene from total recall. Get ready for the surprise. Greg it was a cavalcade of convulsion. Is not being cavalier with the threat of a nuclear war. Hes been cavalier in a way that makes him seem demented, and arranged. This is not how we plan to start the broadcast but present is just given a tweet and it is a bombshell. This a profound, sexual and masculine insecurities are literally threatening to annihilate the planet. Greg okay, captain therapy. Someones projecting. Nice hair, i got to say. Anyway, its like the world is ending but i bet there is a drug for that. This is what the president is saying about the war. Has the media convince you the world is about to end . What are we doing . Why . Because this president has brought us to the brink of nuclear annihilation. Again with the [bleep], ive got to go back people taking you seriously every time you tell them the world is ending . You should stop worried about the bomb and use the bomb. Its called apocalypse. Its the fda approval pending formula that will seal your lips together permanently so other people dont have to deal with your hysteria. Sounds too good to be true. Let me give it a shot. Does this make america last [inaudible] i would have to say yes. Everything we know about it, we know that the chinese too late now. Order this today. [laughter] greg use it only on your mouth. All right, i learned the hard way. Life is rough in the bathroom. The real media star this week that shiny or from cnn, the National Heart monitor himself, brian calling the police on the president. Ive asked twitter spokesman does this violate the terms of service making a threat toward north korea and so far no immediate comment from the company and were still waiting to hear. I think theyre trying to decide if this kind of tweet trying to a Nuclear Button that he knows how to use and whether it works and whether its a violation of the terms of service. Greg every dorm has the sky. [laughter] cnn is no longer fake news is think news. If brian were in that he would sell you to the warden for an extra cheese sandwich. Anyway, theyre wrong about trumps tweet. They actually work. North korea is finally talking again. Who knew he could be such a great marriage counselor . [laughter] hes been married three times. I guess you dont know how something works until you break it. Meanwhile, trumps response to the iranian uprising in the suspension of military aid to pakistan is quite a contrast to obama. All obama wanted was a legacy. Trap instead wanted action. Legacy legacy, trump the world desire before hours and trump is much perverse. He forces the tough questions, side should you be on, irans people or their molars . Their citizens with their tormentors . Oddly, some of our very own leading feminists here are silent. I guess they think of fullbody burqa is a choice and stoning for adultery is great exercise. Meanwhile, the stock market gained a thousand points faster than ever. There is a surprise. Companies react positively to the president to create healthy climate. That could happen . Instead of the media focuses on a book detailing chaos right after the trump when as if that is a surprise. No, its a reminder that clinton or any other county did not get in and that they got beat by someone with way less knowledge specific to their expertise and that has got to hurt. A nonpolitical salesman, crushing you . Its another historical first. This is not just a presidency, its a phenomenal role of the political that dice that was field three essential truth. Politics only damages people who play too much emphasis on politics. System is bigger than any one person and that people cannot surprise you. You thank you dont own or bill kristol for this kind of trump coming . Do you think trump saw trump coming . [laughter] who knows . All i know is that its been a pretty good week and the economy, energy, shrinking government, foreign policy, its nothing if not bold and it makes me wonder what could be than one trump . I ask you to turn to the screens and i will continue from there. Thank you for being with us today. The historic i signed into law two weeks ago for christmas is already delivering Major Economic gains. Hundreds of thousands of americans are seeing larger paychecks. Greg that may be the weirdest thing ive ever seen and i have a mirror above my bed. [laughter] [applause] lets welcome tonights guests, i suppose. He made bin laden a truly holy man. By filling it with holes. His book details how he did it. You, the operator, former Navy Seal Operator rob oneill. [cheering and applause] he splits more side than a butcher on meth. Comedian tom cotter. [cheering and applause] her eyes are glassy and her views are sassy, National Review reporter, sims. [cheering and applause] 2018 is how much he benched this morning. Former bodyguard, massive psychic, tyrus. [cheering and applause] rob, im going to ask you to rank the first week from one to kumquats. Its an interesting week for sure and i think kumquats. Naturally with the coming out, tweet is the best way to talk to reputable people and i use twitter for entertainment and apparently hes a commanderinchief and there are things i think its like the things you write the nasty text that you dont send for a few hours but hes getting attention and you can have a sense of humor if thats a way of joking. Should we joke about nuclear war . No, but that wont stop. For the point were going to lead to nuclear war because of a tweet then. Greg and what a crazy fun world that would be. Tom, im glad you brought your best suspect thank you, im bringing the sweater vest back. Greg is called the same form. Or maybe that is Something Else thoughts, 2018 . He said it would be so great that our heads with ben and my head spun this morning, kind of like the exorcist. Its great. So far, so good. Except for the hypothermia. Other than that its been spectacular. Greg any high points or low points . Stock market. How many records we break in one week. Its ridiculous. The dems have nothing to write about in that route because her kicking butt. Greg i have money in the market. I have money in one market. Oh boy. Greg what, tyrus . You somewhere that is going. I put the brakes. What about the diplomacy, 2018, is it the best year ever . Is five days old. I dont know the best day but best week for seeing what is important to the media and its shameful that a book that would be the same in any business and if anyone hung out in the locker room or the water cooler with a disgruntled employee got demoted would say the same thing so on behalf of myself and everyone doing good at their job, bannon. [laughter] [cheering and applause] greg, i havent been on the show but were not alive. No, that would be a beep or Something Like that. Greg adult son. Thats a dolphin sound please what new year, new sound five not the bannon part but the other part. Cat, you have the floor or the sea or however you would like it. Go, say, a thing. All right. Lets see, at the risk of teens saying conservative i did not love the tweet but that was my reaction. I dont love this but then i went on about my day with zero concern about being blown up whatsoever. I dont understand why you cant just kind of not like something anymore and thats not an option and you have to be convinced it will kill you and i have enough stuff to worry about killing me already five that is so true. Me. Fortyone. Greg yes, you can see me coming a mile away or smelly. I have a theory that trump has no resolutions. He didnt say lets less tweet or layout cnn he probably said one less cheeseburger after midnight. Hes on top of the world why would you change anything . The north korea thing its a game called good cop, bad cop. He makes a bold statement, north korea goes what and then tillerson talks to him and now they want to talk. Hes not in the room the button, and if you notice kim jongun seems to like to be im on the same level arguing with the president. Well, call south korea lets talk to him. You mean, hes not going to really push the button jack ass hes making a statement that draws attention and everyone looks at north korea and says well, maybe we should do something because this button is bigger than ours. Greg i hope for the shape heirs i hope it is a button because youll look stupid, tyrus. Im sure people will walk around saying tires, nice call, bro. Greg we probably will not air if that happens. All going on ill be going like man, they heard what i said. Damn, i made im worried about what i said on the greg show. Greg we are more coming up. Donald is giving out awards to people in the media. Ive been working out and i hope when a cold calls. Achoo . Answer it. With zicam cold remedy. It shortens colds, so you get better, faster. Colds are gonna call. Answer them with zicam zicam. Get your better back. Now in delicious fruit drops. And for fast acting nasal relief, for up to 12 hours, try zicam extreme Congestion Relief and zicam intense sinus relief. 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[laughter] he will make monday so easy for me. I will be drunk, no pants under the desk. Thank you, mr. President , im not even going to shave my face. All right. But that award name is a mouthful. The most dishonest and corrupt media award, lets just call them the discos with the sort for dishonest and corrupt and it will cover dishonesty and bad reporting and different categories although im not sure what that means. Maybe trump is breaking it down by gender like worst mail performance, worst female performance or by policy. Worst domestic big news or forced or in big news for the big one which would be the best picture of fake news, my vote is for brian ross and his overblown story about donald trump in russia which led to the. Breaking news. Oh my god. Breaking news. Abc news brian ross is reporting Michael Flynn promised full cooperation to the muller team and is prepared to testify that as a candidate donald trump directed him to make contact with the russians. [cheering and applause] greg that didnt work out. The breaking news there was that she could read. Anyway, poor guy got suspended. [applause] anyway, tom, what you make of these awards . There will be 5000 nominees in each category, first of all. Its a train wreck. I watched another network that rhymes with cnn on the night trump was elected at three in the morning just to watch the nervous breakdown. There were literally tears. Meeting. I think it will be a field day. Thats why he tweet because he connects people directly in the media is just going to besmirch him and throw him under the bus at every turn. This march, sorry. Greg you like that word dont you . That was in my head forever. Greg kat, how should the media respond to this. They will love it. Lets be honest for two reasons. First of all, they dont like President Trump and he will say his dismissal as a compliment also, no one in the public eye or pursues a career with a be in the public eye if they know on some level they dont think recognition is good. For me for example i one of the messiest desk award every single year in grade school and i know its not technically an award but i was getting my name out there. [laughter] greg its true. Its true. And you havent changed at all. Its spread be on your desk, im afraid. Will now the my desk is that the work other people put their trash on it because they assume i will not notice. Greg yeah, their trash. 70 my trash, that 30 is very rude. Greg rob, do you think i think this is helped the media because i call it the ptw, proved wrong effect. You dont want them to have animal so you better yourself. Their taking advantage of this. Theyre putting ads in times where in newspapers and theyre having fun with it and wish it could be at a point where you make light of some of the stuff in one of the things he learned from differences for me patriotism is not where lake joy sharing because it might fail was with the country might fail and my party wins. We should be for america and i dont know the point [cheering and applause] even to the point waiting for fox news and when boxes something must be wrong and everyone else is right its weird political thing. Hillary clinton, 33000 deleted emails after a subpoena from congress and they were like that was misplaced it. You do not misplace 33000 emails and if you cant find the delete folder you go shatter the damn hard drive but they wont report that because she didnt know what she was doing. Greg i want to know how to do that. If it turns out that its true because thats a lot of depressing, tyrus. A lot of pressing. [laughter] that will be your life. All right. What do you make of these words . Not just the awards but its besmirch the nfl, ratings are down on all the other major things because of all this viewed between President Trump and the media. I think most of these reporters, its an award. I bet they will rock the trophy. I bet they will take it. They will be like all wear it as a badge of honor. Greg it is. Literally, they will not resist because if it was really about their integrity they would not acknowledge it just like they tell you ignore someone or whatever, they would acknowledge it because it would get them readings and people will want to see the response into if he and usually present drop every does is bigtime and there will be some lovely trophies to the point where i might want to drop some lies about him this weekend so i could possibly pick one up. I wish he would get back. We could host it. I would hosted in a minute. Greg i dont know if he be allowed to. Think were upper one . Greg we might be. I think i think stelter should get one. He has grown up. He was a guest on redeye and i think i gave that fella to start. Look where he is now. Or started to make and what he is today six i think he should win creepy guy award contract. Greg if you look at him he reminds me of the strobe light from saturday night fever. All right. Still to come, if the book no one has read but everyone is talking about. Not atlas shrugged, a jab at you libertarians. We discussed the latest book on present w van dyke, Jerry Van Dyck was 86. Im marian lafferty, back to the greg got billed show. Greg trump is no lover of this hardcover. I speak of the skating new book fire and fury, it describes the dysfunction and infighting during the campaign and his first year in the presidency. The white house called it trashy fiction and earlier this week they sent a cease and desist letter to stop publication but the book was released on friday. I have already read it meaning im lying and i didnt. Anyway, heres the just from what i can tell from the excerpts. Trump is just like us in that he was surprised he won. Some of his employees get annoyed by him and every one has those. Except for me, im beloved. We eat cheeseburgers and bed. Dont we all . You should see what i eat on the toilet. [laughter] [crowd boos] stop doing me. On the job on the first day it was chaos. We knew that already. Its like every first day or week on the job. It is hell. This is me trying to drag myself to work today. Yeah, it made me an hour late. Kat, you and everybody says [bleep] about their boss. God knows what has been said about me. By other people who happen to work with me, who knows . Isnt that normal, kat . Yeah, it is normal. No, kat, no. What i dont understand is why this person was allowed access to the white house in the first place. That just doesnt make sense for you have someone who is known for doing this kind of stuff and saying yeah, come on over and President Trump said he didnt give him access but he loves attention so much that im certain he absolutely did but thats like if you liked a guy in he went on a date with him and invited a gossip, lust is also that guys exgirlfriend, thats how bad this is. Greg i do think that maybe he didnt think about it all the way through, tom, but hes not a politician and this is what happened. I think of bannon was friends with the sky. You want to make fun of my hypothesis . No, i like this march. Ive always wanted to use it in a sentence, bro, and you put it out there for me. Cnn reported that they kept saying wolf, wolf, but its credible. Greg all right. I think about, some of the quotes are real but he uses this for the story. They will find out soon that the quotes arent real. The most surprising thing is the button on the desk, the magic button actually open the trap door to drop the person into a bondage dungeon that was built by bill clinton and matt lauer. [laughter] i might have made that up. [applause] greg thats on page 75. We havent gone to that part yet. Take a second stab at this, tyrus. Man. [bleep] bannon. Hes terrible. This was clearly one of those issues where trumps loyalty has come back to bite him on the ass. Bannon was one 100 behind his access and from what ive seen the book is pretty much him [bleep] and this is when he was losing favor. Trump looks to me like he runs his campaign and hes running his presidency like his tv show where he is groups of people working against each other so he gets the best ideas as the people compete. Of course, when you compete, you talk trash, sabotage, step people in the back, you do things like that, but the point is they fight. The best idea he pitched them is whoever gets favor the president will give event, got favor so bannon got mad. During the transition, the president noticed that and he said hes writing the stuff and let him in and theres chaos and turnover in this guy is a wolf in sheeps clothing did you see what i did there . [applause] greg i dont get it. [laughter] but they said they would trust them because they werent part of the swamp at first and

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