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Welcome to guy goes motorcycle meanderings and this is great for sure saves a lot of money by switching to Geico scored some big savings and now can use their mobile app 247 for all sorts of stuff just makes sense now. Doesn't make sense if we called bicycles and bikes and Tresco strikes Russian Luke. No motorcycles mikes . Maybe a bunch of guys name like teamed up and put a stop to that guy go motorcycle savings that makes sense Hi This is Jordan and I'd like to speak to you ladies who are feeling tired brain fog you can't see asleep or you just can't lose weight well there may be a reason behind that Dr John dong from the holistic health center can help you with complicated and resolve thyroid issues the most common question that is asked is Why do I still feel lousy even though I'm taking my proper tirade medication in my doctors told me that my lab tests are normal Well the reason for that is that most doctors only test for one thing that's t.s.h. 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How well the recent massive data breach affected you is your personal information at risk if you are Discover credit card number there's an important action you can take to help protect yourself right now go online and sign up for discovers free social security alerts once activated. We will alert you if your social security number is found on any one of thousands of risky websites learn more and sign up for free alert at Discover dot com slash free alert limitations apply. I'm Lisa Anderson thanks for listening to the ballet show each week on this station. Play everyone welcome to this week's show this is Lisa Anderson let me 1st off what you know about today's pod cast sponsor basically can you biblically respond as Christ would to today's moral and social issues yeah you can actually because whether it's justice and Prejudice marriage and family church and state the unapologetic study bible is going to equip encourage and embolden you to live and share what you believe download a free sample at unapologetic Bible dot com Ok well later on in the show we're going to have Joshua Rogers here to answer a question from a guy who's wondering if it's Ok to ask out a girl 10 years later she turned him down once maybe he wants to circle back around and see if she's still available what are the chances so we're having a little conversation here with our roundtable today before we started taping about awkward conversations and awkward comments that we have been on the receiving end of and what better way to intro a roundtable on really an awkward topic so today we have got Jake John and Catherine here hey guys. Good to have you they're all just trembling in their boots but not really well maybe one and. I'm over Main which was yes. We were told we have a new suit so. But we're going to do our job this is a topic I actually had read an article by Rick Warren and Rick Warren you know legit folks he's gentle He's been a pastor for years and years author of The Purpose Driven Life but he tackled the topic of temptation and really what does it mean to fully temptation and how does. That look practically what does it mean you know as you identify sins in your life some people call them be setting sins the ones that keep cropping up the ones that Satan knows are going to trip you up more often than not and so we're going to have a conversation around that today maybe well we are going to force these guys to do it to really share how we're walking this out in our own life and so I'm excited that you guys are willing to be here and be real for our audience I think this topic is relevant because 1st of all anyone who has been around forever ever I mean basically for 5 minutes knows who Billy Graham is and Billy Graham for the span of his ministry was known for specifically not being in the same elevator or in the same in the same space if he was only with one other you know with another woman who wasn't his wife and this was kind of came to the forefront in the news again as our vice president pence actually made that same claim and has put that into practice in his own life so I think it's interesting because we're just off of a celebration the 500th anniversary of the Reformation So we have been thinking much here beyond about the subject of grace if you know grace alone all of that but the fact is I think also flip about is we don't take our own sin seriously enough and whether that's because we have cheap grace or whether we just don't want to think about our sin I think there are reasons around that on both both sides but . I want to actually just throw that out there and say you know what do you guys think I mean when you do you sit around night thinking about your own sin and I think about other people send I can tell you. But just the things that you know how aware are you of your own sin patterns the things that you have seen crop up in your life over and over again and what has that looked like say as you maybe grown in the last 5 to 10 years so actually struggle with taking my. Almost too seriously Ok in the sense that it's I can obsess over it Ok obsess over how awful. That makes me anxious thinking about how terrible I am and all the bad things that I've done and whether or not grace can still be extended to me because of these besetting sins that I can't seem to shake and I've dealt with a lot of that on top of that anxiety related to that but I think in large part that's because I have difficulty accepting Grace So I think I think what I've experienced when it comes to temptation whether it's wrestling with my own sins or walking with others is a talk through and work through what their sins are as. Oftentimes there's a temptation like you mentioned to not care enough about our sin and a kind of write it off ability it's no big deal but then I think on the flip side in bowls have problems for hearts in our souls on the flip side there's thinking too much of it in too little of God's grace and trying too hard in our own power rather than working to that middle so yeah I mean I'm very very it's very common to start getting into it talked about this before on the show as soon management program where we think if we were just better if we just tried harder if we just put this in place if we just did this instead then we'd be able to tackle it and then we would you know instead of really saying you know what. This is something that I ultimately God is very willing to take on did take on the cross and I need to trust him so that's room yeah I mean I think the problem with being deceived is that you don't know here it's happening to you right so I feel like what I struggle with is a lot of the same thing but it's also that I don't shovel with you know these big sins that everyone talks about but they pull me away from God just as much as those sense do but I don't recognize them as and so they're I think they're more destructive and so there are little things like wasting time caring too much about what other people think of me and there's a huge thing. That I should go with every day but just because they're not the things people write big books about I mean people do read books about that they also write books about alcoholism and you know people say My father was an alcoholic I used to mean but I mean there's no recovery meetings like I used to care too much what people think of me so I think that's my my thing is making them small because they're not it's society doesn't think they're huge Yeah I think I'm kind of like you Jake where I will think through it over and over and over and I think in this weird space where I try to almost like almost like Psycho evaluate myself and I will try to be like my own counseling which is never helpful in every way and so I try to be like oh it's like the root of this like why do I do that oh well it's obviously this and like it's I'll just make up random stuff and try to fix it myself and I get really self-reliant on trying to figure out ways of like Ok here's what I did here's how I'm never going to do it again and it all comes down to me and I often don't don't include God in that and don't spend time saying like God what I'm actually doing how can you actually help me through this or I want to include other believers in it one of the biggest things that I've found is when I actually do get to the point where I kind of have to reach out and tell people like hey I'm struggling with this. That's one of the most helpful things and one of the easiest ways to kind of break those patterns but when I kind of get in this mindset of like I can totally do that like I can fix this in myself it never works it falls apart yeah and I do want to make a you know just so everyone's on the same page or do you want to make a biblical distinction and that is between temptation and sin temptation is not sin Jesus was tempted we know the devil will try to tempt us Jesus also does not tempt us we are not tempted to sin by by Jesus or by God but temptation is part of living in a fallen world and being sinful people until we are finally made perfect you know in that final day before Christ so it's just something that we are going to struggle with and that's why I loved the way that Rick Warren brought this up because he actually talked. About like we all do you have a do you have a temptation escape plan or strategies and not to get too I think it's easy to get to work see about it like oh my goodness if I just have my 5 little things on a piece of paper I'm going to go after and you know that's like doing that with the proverbial Dona in front of you like home and not thinking about it now if I don't think about it I'm going to go and eat it. But but I wanted to just break this down and actually talk about some real stuff and I'm going to well actually I'm just going to get this out there because I think we need to put I think we need to put sex in porn just on the table and so let's just talk about how whether you are straight up into porn whether you are. With that I mean I'm I am no I have no job and well I guess it's hysterical that are out there I mean who and this is in the church people this isn't even just like oh my goodness some random celebrity you know like for real the struggle that that is the temptation that it is and the sin pattern it is for many in the church I think we need to talk about real redeemable strategies to give people a sense of the fact that there is victory over this the sense that there are things that we should be reminded of my friend Jesse who was on the show and he talked about how he said I had to stop jousting at my sin he said I had to realize this wasn't a game this wasn't something I just like took a little piece off of here and there until I actually crucified it pornography had its hold on me so I think that is real and I think we need to just talk about that let's put that out there whether we're talking about pornography whether we're talking about sexual addiction whether we're talking about promiscuity and sex outside of marriage or whether we're talking about just all the 99 s. Of like soft porn and everything else that people are justifying 50 Shades Hello Magic Mike hello Harlequin romance novels Hello Mr rom coms that are out there now I'm just going to call it right now. Let's put that on the table discuss I think I can. 1st I have this story is very humbling for me to tell so I'm a little bit I actually told Lisa before we started to like this Ok so and I think . The thing that's very special for me is what John was talking about with telling my friends and being honest in saying listen I'm struggling with this is so a while ago I said having coffee with my friends and she starting admitting to this sexual sins you've been a part of and she was like Katherine It was awful it was I mean like in the guilt that she felt now in the fears that she had and she had all these questions and I was just my heart was broken for my friend and I I remember just thinking you know I wish I was she wasn't in the situation I don't know what to do now well later that night I was dating someone and it kind of was pushing to to do things that I wasn't Ok with and in the moment I think the temptation was there because it seemed Ok to me and then I just thought of my friend's face and I thought of her her tears and how she felt like she let everyone down got her parents her friends her future spouse and I just shook my hand and I left and I was like I can't do this anymore and that I mean obviously we're not dating now but I mean I just if I had had that conversation with her that day I don't know if I would have done that I don't I mean I think what I would have done you know it's a good point when it comes to the porn in the sexual temptation whether it's you know kind of the pornography of the heart like the recent boundless. Peace that you know has been making some rounds. When it comes right down to it I think we're generally unwilling to deal with the root we talk a lot about what Ok what's not Ok what's crossing this line what's crossing that line and we dance around or jalouse with these what if scenarios in the grey instead of truly diagnosing our own hearts and our own motivations and our own sin patterns in our own weaknesses and truly taking a harder line where it needs to be taken and so we end up in these emergency. Situations that Rick Warren talks about where it's like I'm faced with this choice at this point of decision to either look at this or not either mess around with this person or not to read this or not because we're not willing we keep saying you know you know maybe all things are beneficial for me but they're lawful for me and that's not healthy for hearts and the best emergency plan is actually having a solid life plan that says you know what I'm just not going to go there and so for me as a man who has Yeah straight up struggled with porn and with lust and with not keeping my eyes to myself and my thoughts to myself and looking at things I shouldn't and participating in things that I shouldn't have but what all was was what led me back down the rabbit hole was I would not take a hard line and say you know I'm going to stop watching these movies where they make it Ok to think this way about what women must stop watching these t.v. Shows where they show other people treating women this way and treating sex outside of marriage this way and treating porn use this way because my company that I'm keeping is telling me day in and day out that it's Ok and that's a hard decision to make because there's a lot of things out there that we like that are funny or that are interesting or good storytelling that day in and day out tell us the wrong things about how we guard our heart and how we treat each other sexually Yeah you know I spoke at a conference a few weeks ago where I talked on that topic strongholds and talked about how we often will say oh my my heart carried me away or my heart was just in it or my heart did and I'm like now really your heart is not going to be the 1st line of defense for you it's everything starts in the mind and that's what we're called to take every thought captive because you will not it always starts with a thought or with something where you're going to kind of justify something or you're going to kind of like dwell on. Something that shouldn't be dwelt on or whatever and to just say like oh my goodness my heart just overcame me and I went have this you know I went and slept with this guy or whatever no there was some pattern of or process of. You know a kind of frog in the kettle getting to that point and stuff and that's why I always say we have to the battle for our minds is preeminent in the culture that we're in today and what that looks like and I'm just so convinced that. You know whatever it is I mean to make to make the decisions about what you're going to have to do long before you were in the situation like what I mean to decide to do them all is remember this sound so goofy but I was so impacted when Makita right who's a very popular author and speaker on the subject of sexual purity and she just may become I think it's her grandma who had told her this and she had said when she started dating she said never find yourself in a situation that you would not want to be interrupted in and just for her just always put that the front so that's before anything is getting creepy or sexy or anything and that's before you just know that if you can be under a blanket with your boyfriend watching a movie you need to decide that ahead of time and not just in the moment and not you know just figuring out stuff like that I mean I think that is just very helpful and it's not foolish to say that none of us are beyond needing those kinds of parameters I mean I'll always remember there's a couple things that stand out that premeditated decision is huge and not trusting yourself I'll never forget Perry and I think was Dennis Rainey back in the day say when he talked to his kids about like sexual purity and staying away from porn and having limits on you know how they access the computer and stuff like that and one of the things he would tell them is it's not because I don't trust you it's because I don't specifically because it I don't trust you but it's not because I don't trust you it's because I don't trust our sin nature I don't trust myself in these situations and so I'm not going to leave us exposed to these types of situ. Because I know we can make poor decisions when we're left in those the heat of the moment an