Tomorrow it is high 53 partly cloudy 31 Sunday sunny high 47 and Monday sun with high clouds in the morning then mostly cloudy in the afternoon high 56 I'm Accu Weather dot coms something from it for 100.7 The word 100 point the word. Free. Media Group 100 points of the word new life life is sponsored by New Life. For a new life to live we've got a great program lined up for you today because it's all about you so join us today 102293000 here on new life live. Seaborne when your welcome to a special edition of new life this is a classic Friday and all of our calls have already been taken and answered many many months or years ago roll back some of the best so welcome to new life live one classic like. It Ok sometimes to. Really believe that what you're doing it you know just clinically speaking this kind of dynamic is so stupid. Like this so tell us where you're the bad guy here what you're focusing on is that the Bible says that this is a problem what you're eliminating Is the answers that it provides to the problem. Hi everybody welcome to New Life Live Stephen Arbor here with my good friends and colleagues Dr John Townsend and Dr Henry Cloud Hi guys I guess everybody if you're not living the life you want to live for lead change now and do something now before it's too late but easier you know when you're past the New Year's resolution thing because all the pressures now know yeah you're ready but so yeah your opponents and then name to for good reason you know pick up a couple of men are wonder something and decide to make a difference you know like a good reason would be I'm going to be in a year older and be just the same as I was last year well that's a lot better reason than these knees or other resolutions you know you think that's bad but to be a decade older and kind of the same you were 10 years ago boy it is life is anything you really do you've just got to do what you need to do now the time is never. Ever going to come and it's going to go so quickly whatever it is do it now Ok I got a tip Ok. Here's what you do you write down the categories that you want to change you know maybe there's a goal and maybe character issues it may be financial whatever maybe character is yeah but maybe like no one I like there because many who do have tried to use the language that I use myself. And then you figure out what those are and then you share that list with somebody that's going to check in with you periodic Clee and see what you've done Sam much is changed that is a great tip because once you once you get it out in the open and you start to look at it with somebody. That's when a lot of people don't change because change doesn't involve being open and then once the cat's out of the bag that you actually have this area that's a problem or you're working on it you can never go back that's right and one of the one of the great benefits of that in this really does happen is when you begin to look at that list and you can take some things off because it's already happened and you can go to the next problem you know you really have to we talk about life with Jesus builds character you grow closer to him he's perfecting you in your faith you know to ask yourself is that the way you're headed because he also says it's possible to for that not to happen right you know what I've read about this morning was John the Baptist getting his head cut off. I'm just thinking you know bad day and that is a bad and I book was I before breakfast or you know who has ever walked the face of the earth you know as good as John bad to stories on mission that aren't as effective and you know God could have said oh let's just change this up here I'd like him to live another 13 years or 40. He said get cut off because somebody was evil and made a decision to do a bad thing and you know it just says God is not going to protect us from bad things but he'll protect us from purposes of our hopeless lives and that's really what we've got to offer people today. And learning to suffer or even maybe die for the right thing a lot of people are hurting for the wrong thing and you know I felt like John the Baptist's is more because I've said things on this program you guys cut my head off so I feel I connected with John the bad I think it was his message that you know was sort of approved of. They're going to take a break come back with New Life Live 102293002 join You're listening to a Classic program from the archives of new life live to order any of the resources mentioned on today's program 1800 new might be right. a tax deductible gift of the order any of the products mentioned on today's program called 1800 new life now back to the boys. Are actually ordering here with Dr John Townsend Dr Henry Cloud and you and your phone calls and let's go to the phones if you call 1800 new life you can get 10 strategies to cope with the urge to overeat the resource a woman search for worth and that's a book by Dr Deborah Newman and then for those that support us the magnetized 7 keys Let's go to Angela who's calling us from Dallas Texas hi Angela welcome to new life Hi How are you guys all right. Thanks for taking my call here and so my husband I are going through your out people grow but right now. That I write songs great and in the past have written found that aren't necessarily bad but they're not that are specifically written to glorify God and right now we're kind of trying to figure out. Did we had to scrap those songs and only right now. That are glorifying to God Well did we now mean that if you don't put Jesus him song you should name right. I mean as in reason there's music is so yeah dump all those is that what you're asking Angela. Yeah I mean Angela I guess I'm a very very facetious here Ok because. I know what it was and laughter and you know I know you really know you he's telling you that you can just create a song for the beauty of this song. That make Laura FICA you know that may actually be a reflection of God be even though God is even mentioned and so well nobody's necessarily telling us that. We we've been trying really hard to get our life straight we keep going to this cycle Ok We're going to do it we're going to you know we're going to you're we're going to your back and we're like in that. It is bad do it but then you'll be Ok you know that that our smile there that sort of call that I forgot what sort of the willpower thing yeah and we always fail right you know where those fail exactly so anyway to give you some to do you know. How does that equal that you can't write good music. And you know that only if you know God music. Well I don't know I guess we just kind of thought well if we're really getting. It we're really going to put everything under under God if we're really going to surrender our everything our hearts are Ok. And that include our music you know and we do that and that's what the Bible says we give everything to him but think about your life if because if your songs if you're a writer and they come from your heart where I come from what's going on in your life and things go on your life as a surrendered person like you have a conflict with your. Own song the song old song that people are wanting to perform now but there are songs that were written when we were not. I don't think not Ok under the control of God If they're songs that were written back then let's got in trouble when I've used analogies before like going to have enough to eat here but but here but let's just play this through let's say everybody had your attitude so now I work in a General Motors screwing and bolts on the wheel he'd have to end every one of those boats Jesus loves you or he wouldn't be doing a good job to go or fly glorify God You see what I'm saying if you just carry that through then the guy that 2nd your groceries he's got to put a flyer in your groceries for it to really be honoring God with his work it doesn't it doesn't make sense they will become a bunch of weirdos create our holy little huddle where everything's about Jesus and the world is out there totally separate you know what I love to see is a person succeed in life in the secular world in our church or something and then you find out they're Christian and that they are they are doing such a great job and people then when they look into what's behind the art and all of that they don't have a conflict of interest but I sure don't. But if God's calling me a way now to write Christian music and you go out and write secular songs that's a conflict. No I don't necessarily think that men are getting we can't know it because we are really trying to get you know under control. That we had written you know a couple years ago sit around away and not you know more and they said Angela if they you know if they are dark intil people to do dark things you know you're riding high as they go about you know go do dark things and suicide themes and death themes and stuff like that then yeah that's a problem yeah but to just express things about life even painful things and even the you know the dark night of the soul that many people are. Are touched and make it through life moment by moment sometimes because of great music like my favorite point has nothing about God but it but it's honoring of God was it the alligator is my friend be your friend too if you don't make him into a purse or shoe and see life sustaining but it doesn't say. Create and the alligator knows that Jesus legs yeah can I put that in there I didn't need it anyway well angel I hope that this is helpful to you yes answer the dough go back don't get overly religious are you getting that Jesus was not was he wouldn't part of the religious kind I think. It's like Ok now we have I think you guys live in 2 worlds and then the world of God is this perfect ideal world where you do really care for a while and then your tag gives out and then you go in the world of words nor not with God or failing and you need to add those 2 together and that the failing life that Angel and her husband have is right they are very connected to God No all of his love and resources are right about that all right Angela Hold on let me she's in this is a day yeah we'd love to hear some of your music I want anybody want to send us anything especially food please do it a woman's search for worth is is the book will send you and it's available at 100 new life you know it's really easier if you kind of go that other way if you just live in this really confined world where all you do is say Jesus and you stand Jesus on everything that's not really an easier way to go all right Bible trivia you know there's a book of the Bible that doesn't have the word God or any reference to God specifically you know a back story and know which one of Esther. No I would take issue with that. Because there's a reference to God Well that's why I said nothing specific to guide it talks about it where he says it might it might have been for a time like this that you were Yeah the understanding there is that God has brought you to this moment with this mission and yet that's the understanding but the point is there's a book of the Bible and. Then there's a very bad where you need to music and say you've accomplished the mission. Right 180-229-3000 if you'd like to join us here and we'd love for you to join us let's go to. Let's go to Kim Kim Louisville Kentucky w f I 80 you have a problem that we might be able to address and some more. For you too and song. I'm going to have a question about recovery for my husband who is 30 day. Rehab he actually was the coward bring him home to mine and my question has he has supposedly relapse like 4 or 5 times and been home and those 2 mine and twice they supposedly came well because through counseling I feel like maybe he never had been in recovery when he came home I don't know. That was one of my question is Have you even ever been in recovery and the 4th time that he relapsed. I had him leave we have children and more time in 2 weeks. 2 months 3 months. And nearly Yes he did leave but it's been a week and a half. He is. Now in me that my question I guess my boundaries question because I'm so confused about between emotion and. More to reveal to me when you come home to about this. Understand I'm going to have a lot more than I used to but. He's telling me you know you don't know how many hours I'm crying and crying and when I come home that easy going to meetings every day. Now he started going to the meeting today and counseling once a week. And I'm proud of him I'm so and I can listen when he when he. Was discharged from the program what happened those 2 months was that he stay connected to people that were it not that he wasn't working the case and there were there are going to work that work in the program so now you've had to set a very severe limit and now it sounds like he's kind of getting the picture they do and something and you're just ill scared that you don't want to get them interested and he's saying let me let me come home right now and he's saying and now I have a understand why he got home except that I would be punishing him and I said well it's not really my decision I feel like God has you there not me well I think you need a counselor to come alongside you so you got some support and some advice on the exact timing of this you know and I would make sure it's a good drug counselor take him you know Ok because dealing with addicts especially . Addicts who have one foot in recovery and are kind of bouncing around there really should be done by somebody who's treated thousands of addicts Yeah because they know the song and dance and sometimes sometimes it's some point it does augment the treatment for the person to be with the family and sometimes being with family kind of gets in the way of it and that's where a good drug counselor would be able to tell you but I do tell you this that if if the limit is what's causing him to turn around then what you have to see is some sort of track record that he really is in recovery up. Part from the pressure that you're putting on where it's his hunger to get well and not yours that's sort of you know keep you know you know what can be helpful is when you're dealing with a drug addict like this you know in the movies where they show the picture of the little angel sitting on one side of a guy's shoulder and he got the devil on the other saying well to just kind of listen to what he says and try to figure out which shoulder this is coming from because one part from the little good side it would be Oh I'm I'm healthy now you know I get it I want to come home from but the little double sided if we just get back in the door we can we can get back on drugs again say we can we can manipulate this and we can will be safe and we'll be able to do it and we'll prove that she still isn't going to hold us accountable to this and you can it they're just kind of 2 different forces at work here and he may not even be aware of that and he may be totally you know as honest as he knows to be but when you know somebody is in recovery is when they are telling you I found that I've got this over their shoulder that wants to drag me down any day and I've just got to get to a meeting you know a couple times a day because my propensity is to go back and when sort of here's the key I think when he were he's more worried about it than you are. And you know another thing part of recovery is really the sort of humble surrender of a person's soul and when you hear somebody say I don't want to walk back in that door one second sooner then then it's going to be comfortable for you and the kids or it's going to help my my recovery then you really see a different picture versus the begging the plaiting right well my concern. About when to banking and things like that it reminds me of being manipulated and I think my emotions want to say come home but there's a part of me that like. I don't think it is a good time to come to one of the begging pleading to be the reason that you got the door open or let me give you a little checklist for things that have to happen. And so you know one is there's got to be some time and if there's been 4 relapses in 2 months probably longer than you know you probably expected there's got to be surprising got to be awful there's a 0 tolerance he's got to be connected to people that love Him and know about this and that I have some expertise and he's got to be dealing with and aware of what the deeper issues are you know there's a selfishness or impulsiveness or paying he's got to be talking about that beyond sobriety and there's some formula for everybody that puts together a safer person to come back and let me send you boundaries in marriage it's Dr John Townsend a doctor book and again you know if you listen to a program you've never actually picked up a boundary book it really can change the way you look at your situation and your marriage so 100 new life is a place you can order those and that will send until you come back for more new life while you're listening to a Classic program from the archives of new life life if you're hurting a new life can help 100 new life that number again is 1800 new life the boys will be right back. Story includes multiple physical and emotional affairs every day men struggle with sexual integrity impure thoughts strip clubs my wife and I had betrayed her she insisted that I would get you that every man bet on and had some idea perhaps of her you know what you expect but I had no idea that it would have an impact on me that it did there's just something about the way that you meet in a large group and then small or great doctors and the sharing something that I've never experienced before to register or to find out more call 1800 new life that's 18695433 or log onto Life dot com This is the 1st time in my life that I ever felt comfortable and sharing the real meat but other now in my mind it is one of the most critical thing that a guy can do in his recovery 1800 n e w l i f t. $100.00 points from the word you know it's one thing to make a wrong turn during a road trip and being inconvenienced probably is the worst that will happen but imagine the consequences of thinking that you're on the right road to heaven and the truth seekers you're deceived about yourself they should make sure you know the truth about salvation listen for John MacArthur study missed about salvation on the next race to. 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Welcome back to this classic program from the archives of life to make it tax deductible gift or the order any of the products mentioned on today's program called $1800.00 new life now back to the boys are back to order your Dr John Townsend and Dr Henry Cloud Let's go to Melissa in Fort Worth Texas k w r d is a station Hi Melissa Hi there and 208 thank you so much for taking my call and your welcome you all have really helped me grow and my character over I in. My life and you know I'm a little nervous it's Ok. For you. And that is a very weighty. 30 year home. Today. I tried to put you know something together for my. And. Then when I think it healthy you know Clee and emotionally and spiritually What do you mean put together something for yourself well I tried to get my program and. And I tried did the airing of My Lai and I coolness Well what was the program that you gave yourself.