Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20161117 : vimarsana.c

Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20161117

But i want to start with something that could affect your Holiday Shopping plans. Thanksgiving as you know is a week from tomorrow and a number of Major Retail Stores are breaking with recent tradition and instead of being open on thanksgiving, will be closed on thanksgiving this year. [ cheers and applause ] and i applaud that. I have to say, i dont like when it stores make their employees work on thanksgiving. Its depressing. Although of all the thanksgivings to decide to shut down for, why would you pick the one right after the most contentious election in 100 years . This is the year we need you to stay open so we have an excuse to leave dinner and get away from our relatives. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] office depot is one of the stores that announced theyll close on thanksgiving day. Which see, now that makes sense. Could you imagine leaving thanksgiving early to go to office depot . [ laughter ] sorry, the precipitation inter in over shopping news, they released the annual worst toy list, the toys that are supposedly most dangerous for children. These are the toys. This is slimeball slinger. Which looks completely safe to me. Looks like what david used to kill goliath. [ laughter ] now you can use it on your sister. This is the nerf rival 15 700 there should be a background check for this toy. These are called bump and bounce body bumpers. See, these seem almost too safe to me. These are like this one seems like it could drop your kid out the window in it, right . This is baby magic feed and play baby. I guess i dont know, i think its dangerous because it will give your children nightmares. That is a terrifying baby. Last on the list, definitely not least, is the war craft doom hammer. Although lets be honest, this is not for kids. This is a hammer for adult vir jips. [ laughter ] to bring to the park and beat each other with. I feel everything is dangerous now. Instead of toys just give your kid a nice pair of oven mitts and duct tape them to their arm. Hillary clinton tonight made the first public appearance since someone found her roaming in the woods last week. She was in washington, d. C. To be honored by the Childrens Defense Fund beat the odds celebration. No, the irony was not lost on her. Sometimes you beat the odds, sometimes the odds beat you. The Childrens Defense Fund is an organization that helps kids who have overcome adversity, like bullying, health problems, and other things like that, that just happened to hillary, beat those things. And you know, if i was Hillary Clinton, i would have shown up to that event drunk and in sweat pants. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i would have been knocking things over. Id punch someone. You know who else is back out there, george w. Bush. You remember that dude . Yeah hes been in hiding since donald trump reared his perfect head. But in dallas yesterday, the former president showed up at something called the north American Competitiveness Initiative to give his take on all the anger thats swirling around. Look, i understand anger. And some people might have been angry when i was president. But anger shouldnt drive policy. What needs to drive policy is whats best for the people who are angry. And how does that benefit people in our country and the countries in the neighborhood . Jimmy what . Well, hes still got it. [ laughter ] countries in the neighborhood. [ cheers and applause ] with all the focus on donald trump, sometimes you forget about george bush and how good he was at getting a crowd fired up. Laura sends her best. Shes doing great by the way. She is a grandmother. Which makes me a grandfather. Jimmy yeah. It all adds up. He was or president for like eight years. President elect trump is in the process of building his cabinet right now and its going to be a solid gold cabinet full of all the finest snacks. This is kind of nutty. One of the names on trumps short list for attorney general is ted cruz. Senator ted cruz. Who of course was trumps bitter rival on the campaign trail. This is going to be like if tupac hired biggie to be his head of security. It might happen. The man he called lyin ted over and over again could become our nations top Law Enforcement official. Were living in some kind of bizarreo world. Dont be surprised if he names Hillary Clinton secretary of state. It could happen. Meanwhile, there are reports of tension within team trump as relates to Chris Christie. If you dont know chris disty, governor of new mexico, was originally in charge of trumps transition team. He got pushed out reportedly because trumps soninlaw, jared kushner, married to ivanka, doesnt like him because when Chris Christie was attorney general of new jersey he prosecuted and imprisoned kushners dad for tax evasion and other stuff. As payback, kushner had him removed from the inner circle. This might not make a good administration, but it is making for a great season of house of cards so far. [ laughter ] [ applause ] lets put it this way. Caitlyn jenner had a smooter transition. Trump has denied anything is wrong. He tweeted, a very organized process taking place as i decide on cabinet and many other positions. I am the only one who knows who the finalists are. He really does think this is a reality show. [ laughter ] the finalists . Text your votes to paul Ryan Seacrest now. We have something fun for you tonight. Garth brooks is here [ cheers and applause ] and we wrote a song together, an original song. I dont know, im told its already being considered for the grammys. Thats right. We have that coming up next. But first we have the brandnew trailer for the movie conskull island which comes out march 10th starring tom hiddelston, brie larson, samuel l. Jackson, john goodman, john c. Riley, oh my goodness, its king conhimself [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, wow. Wow. Holy moly. Welcome, king. Welcome, welcome. We bow. Well, look, its Tom Hiddleston [ cheers and applause ] thank you for coming and thanks for dressing up. What is this . I have the never before seen trailer for kong. Jimmy do you play kong . No. I play a character called captain james conrad. Jimmy is he a gorilla . No, no. Hes an explorer. Jimmy then why are you dressed as a gorilla . Right. Well, they told me to. [ laughter ] jimmy who told you . They said everyone does this. Jimmy who . What do you mean everyone . Who said this . Everyone. Jimmy everyone does this . Somebody on your staff said people do like when Leonardo Dicaprio came on here for the revenant, like he dressed as the bear. Did he dress jimmy oh. No. Leonardo dicaprio hes never been on our show. [ laughter ] who said this to you . Who told you that you had to do this . Um your executive producer . Jimmy really . Our executive producer told you . Why did she say that . That guy. Him. Jimmy that executive producer . That one right there . [ laughter ] jimmy im sorry, tom. [ cheers and applause ] im sure theyll work it out. In the meantime, can we string this up . I dont know how it works. But there you go, lets put that on. We have the trailer. Please enjoy this exclusive look at kong skull island in theaters march 10th these are photos of an island in the south pacific. The place where myth and science meet. I see a bad moon rising we use explosives to shake the earth, helping us map the surface of the island. Yououre dropping bombs. Scientific instruments. I see trouble on the way is that a monkey . Magnificent. You knew that thing was out here . Im sorry for your men, colonel. But if you want to make this sacrifice worthwhile, get us home. With proof. Monsters exist. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa your friend there can put that down. What the hell is this place . Thats kong. Hes king around here. Kongs a pretty good king. Keeps to himself mostly. You dont go into someones house and start dropping bombs unless youre picking a fight. Kongs god on the island. But the devils live below us. What are they called . I call them skull crawlers. Why . Ive never said that name out loud before, sounds stupid now that i say it. Call them whatever you want. This is a good group of boys. Were all going to die together out here. Ha ha ha [ cheers and applause ] sing girl, come on. [ singing ] sorry, ariana you gotta go. Seriously . Verizon limits me and i gotta get home. Youre gonna choose navigation over me . Maps get up here. Umm. That way. 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Atn sandwich may subway,table, this authentic classic is stacked with lean corned beef, bavarianstyle sauerkraut, swiss cheese and thousand island dressing on new freshlybaked rye bread. Only at subway. Jimmy hi, there, welcome back to what is night two of two nights with garth brooks. Garth brooks has sold more albums than any solo artist in the history of the world. More than michael jackson, more than elton john, more than elvis. Who better to turn to do help me launch my music career . Nobody. Yet with pen in hand and song in my heart approached garth are i asked him to help me write a big country hit, and he was kind enough to say yes. Jimmy how you doing . Whats up, man . Doing all right . Jimmy im doing well, how are you . Better than i deserve, thanks. Thanks for meeting with me. Happy to. Jimmy this is so important to me. Because i feel like i have a lot to say. And to share. And most of all i think id like to sell 11 million copies of a record. Now were talk. Jimmy maybe buy a ranch or Something Like that. Exactly. Jimmy or a plane. I like it. Jimmy i like it too. And i need your help though. Because i dont know how to sing, really. Or write songs. Or play guitar. Or anything. You dont need to know any of that stuff. Jimmy thats good news. Where do i start . Thats the question, i guess. Its always great if you find something that moves you, something that you will die for, something that changed your life, anything like that come to mind . Jimmy im just thinking of pizza right now. You have any trucks . Jimmy yeah, i do own a truck. Its like a its really an suv. Oh. Yeah. No. Jimmy its harder than i thought this would be. Dig down deep for something in your past that only you would know and its possible that all of us can relate to it. Jimmy you know what, something happened to me once. I think this is something that people could relate to. My friend daniel, it was his birthday, i wanted to get him a great present for his birth guy. He mentioned to me, his wife actually mentioned to me, that he for some reason wanted to learn to pop and lock. You know . Like this. Oh, yeah. Jimmy so i got him lessons from the guy from the movie breaking and breaking 2, electric boogaloo shrimp. Tracked him down, i paid him 1,000, i got four dance lessons, i gave them to daniel, daniel called the guy, we never heard from him again. Theres your subject right there. Jimmy really . You think . A lot of guys sitting there just staring in their beer, listening to that lyric. Because all of us want to break and lock, you know . Jimmy yeah, yeah. Big john. You got ring co. I mean, all the great country jimmy story songs. I think its going to fit right in there. Jimmy i also would love to send a message to boogaloo to let him know he did me wrong. Hell yeah. Jimmy what do i just start singing . Yeah, my thing is, you know, if youre going to write a hit song, i wouldnt worry about singing. I wouldnt worry about melody. Jimmy good, good. Lyrics. 100 guarantees you one of these babies right here. Jimmy oh, wow. Oh, yeah. Jimmy is this the one . This is the one you need right there. Jimmy oh my god. Thats got so many hits left in it. Jimmy madonnas headset youre looking at the wrong end. Jimmy oh. There you go. Jimmy all right. Lets make this happen. There you go jimmy i like it. Well daniel and me we go back a long way i wanted Something Special for his 43rd birthday daniel didnt want a sweater or a putter or a tie he doesnt wear cologne he just aint that kind of guy i love this guy. Daniel my pal daniel first of all, what voice am i hearing . This doesnt this is my country voice. Oh. Jimmy this is the voice i use for countrytype situations. I like it. Daniel my pal dan hes a very white andand past irishman he dances like your dad wants to pop and lock real bad so i tried to make that happen for my friend thats great. You see you know how at every wedding theres that one drunk middle aged guy who requests a hump dance so he can show off the two break dancing moves he learned in Junior High School . My friend daniels dream was to be that man. He wanted to be the best. He wanted to pop and lock so well that the other white people would make a circle around him and say, go, daniel. Go, daniel. Afterwards hed say stuff like, dude, that was straightup dancing. Even though they were all from vermont. And i was his friend. So i knew what i had to do. I love this. I knew the man i had to find to make his dream come true a guy named boogaloo shrimp from breaking and breaking 2. I said boogaloo heres a check for you 1,000 in advance when dan sees you hell showerly [ bleep ] his pants daniel my pal dan hes a very white and pasty irishman i made his dream come true did you hire boogaloo four lessons no more messing with my friend so daniel called up and got no answer so he called again and again and no one ever picked up the phone. Maybe it was a fake number, maybe ive been played, maybe i dreamed the whole thing, hell, i dont know. But the check had cleared, i was out a thousand bucks, and my friend daniel never did learn how to pop and lock, which is probably for the best, hes 53 years old, and lets be honest, its ridiculous. Yeah. If theres one lesson to take from this whole thing i think its this never trust a man named boogaloo shrimp. I agree with that. Daniel my pal dan hes a veryand pasty irishman the lesson that we learned sometimes you get burned and ill never pay up front that way again [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we could have a hit on our hands. Thats country and a biscuit right there. Thats good. Jimmy thats great. Thank you, garth brooks. No, thank you. It was my honor to sit here and watch you write that. Jimmy thanks. Is that your way of distancing yourself from this . No, no, that was great. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats right, boogaloo, you did me wrong thank you, garth brooks. Tonight on the show lucas hedges is here and well be right back with garth, so stick around [ cheers and applause ] durindiscover why fordnd event, is americas bestselling brand. Im on top of the world, hey with the most 5star ratings. Awardwinning value. And the highest owner loyalty. Giving drivers what matters most. Thats how you become americas bestselling brand. During the ford year end event get an extra thousand dollars black friday bonus cash on top of all other great offers. Its an amazing time to visit your ford dealer. Jimmy tonight from the movie manchester by the sea, lucas hedges is here. Weve got a Big Block Party outside tonight. Garth brooks from the amazon music stage. Tomorrow night billy crystal, music from geezy featuring french montana. Our first guest tonight is the bestselling solo artist of all of them, and hes about to extend that lead with two new albums. First christmas together with wife Tricia Yearwood and gun sling irwhich comes out a week from friday. Please say hello to garth brooks [ cheers and applause ] i love this. [ cheers and applause ] oh, yeah jimmy how you doing . What do you mean . This is how im doing. Jimmy you really enjoy your life, right . Oh, yes. Jimmy i get that sense. They let you be fat and happy, its great . You did something so nice for my sister last night. I mean, it really i love your sister. Jimmy it was one of these like offcamera things. And she asked you what song you were going to do and then you asked her what her Favorite Song was. Then you sang the song. She wanted to hear shes every woman. Jimmy some of the lyrics are specifically about her, i dont know if you realized that when you wrote it. [ laughter ] i told her that. Jimmy particularly the raging like a river part. But i mean, i was also so touched. Such a nice thing for you to do, i know how busy you are, to do a whole song for one person is unbelievable. Thank you for doing that. [ cheers and applause ] i think they sense that about you. Then, you know, our song i think is going to be a number one hit, i really think this things going to shoot right up the charts. Yes . No . Yes. Yes jimmy yes. Of course yes. Im amazed. Thats your first one . Jimmy you know the best part of that day of shooting was with you, you turned to me halfway through, wait a minute, is this a true story . Yes. From there i was hooked. You cant make this [ muted ] up. Jimmy that one will be far too ridiculous to make up. Thats absolutely true and i hope we hear from boogaloo and his attorneys too. You picked relate ability, thats what its all about. Theres a lot of pasty white guys that cant dance jimmy and who hasnt been ripped off by a cast member from breaking 2, you know . You got a lot of stuff out. An album coming out next friday. You have this album coming. You are as i mentioned the number one selling solo artist of alltime. [ cheers and applause ] you were behind the beatles, now youre ahead of the beatles, is that correct . We just weve been lucky. Its been a great ride. Jimmy right. [ cheers and applause ] nobodys ever going to be better than the beatles, i love those guys. The beatles, do you call paul and apologize, or ringo at least . Yeah, yeah, sure. Got everyone on speed dial. Jimmy im sorry because i dont think theyre coming back. Yes. Jimmy i think youve got a big strong lead and all you can do is extend it at this point. Right now we

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