[ cheers and applause ] we dont have the easter bunny here in hollywood but we have more than a very few very dirty chewbaccas and the kids love that, right . Are you ready for easter . My wife and i have been getting ready. Last night we dyed eggs with our daughter jane. Jane will be 3 in july so this is the first easter she knows whats going on and its fun. We got the box of egg coloring stuff from the drugstore, the white vinegar, we boiled the eggs, we put the little tablets and cups and covered the eggs with the weird dipper thing, let them dry, jane put stickers on the eggs. I tried to make one nice egg by dipping it in the color, half the other color, she took it and threw it in the purple. The whole process took an hour. When we were done, the eggs were colored, put them back in the carton. Janes and, okay, now what do we ask . I said, were going to put the eggs back in the refrigerator and wait for the easter bunny to come and hide them. And she said, why . [ laughter ] and i just looked a the her and said, i dont know. [ laughter ] is there a story were supposed to is there some kind of a plan . [ applause ] at least santa makes sense, he makes toys, if youre good he breaks into your house and leaves them for you. The easter bunny breaks into your house, takes your eggs out of your refrigerator, and scatters them around the yard what an Insane Person might do. At best its littering, okay . We need to come up with an explanation for this. By the way, speaking of insane. Quick poll of the audience, are there any other 49yearold men here whose mother still gets them an Easter Basket every year . [ laughter ] no . How about that. Well, this is mine. This is for real. My parents are not going to be here. Dont say aww. [ applause ] i take this under protest, i take it, my mother gave me on palm sunday, she gave me an Easter Basket because shes not going to be here on easter. Ive not opened it yet. Although ive got to say somebody rewrapped this thing, my mother would never do such a crappy job. This is ive not gone through this but i figure we go through it together here. No, dont say whoo. I got pop rocks. [ cheers and applause ] i got bazooka gum, okay. Oh, eggshaped chalk, oh, yeah. What else . Bubble blower . She thinks im 10 years old. Its crazy. What the hell is this . A tea bag thing . [ laughter ] herb scissors. [ laughter ] every year its a bunch of crazy may i say [ bleep ] . [ laughter ] peanut chews, i dont like those. Guillermo, did you get your son an Easter Basket yet for easter . Guillermo no, not yet. Jimmy i have one for you, here, take this, give this to him. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy ill give you the gum and stuff later. Hes going to love those herb scissors, he really is. I told her this is the last one. I actually made a big announcement. I said, when i turn 50 i will no longer accept an Easter Basket. This year we had a big argument. She gives to it me, oh, this is the last one. She goes, no, next years the last one. I tell you, ive had a lot of dumb arguments. This may have been the dumbest argument ive ever had with anyone. Im not by the way sure the how easter became about bunnies and candies and herb scissors, but it did. The real story of easter is jesus came down to earth, taught us to help the poor, love our enemies, so we killed him. [ laughter ] then he came back. Why he came back, i dont know, its not like we made him feel very welcome, but thats the story. I wonder if children even know that. We went to hollywood boulevard where kids were enjoying spring break and asked them what is the meaning of easter . Here it is. Can you tell me the story of easter . Um uh the first easter, whoo. You got toys. What kind of toys . Legos. Jesus rose from the dead. What happened with jesus on easter . He made a bunny. I think he led some people somewhere. Who were his main friends . His disciples. The bad guys killed him. The bermans i think it was. He got like pinned to a cross. He did this. Everybody was watching and then yeah, then sooner or later he died. What did he die of . I dont know. What do you think . Drugs. He was put into a cave. With a rock. He was in heaven, working on his project. Then he came down to see the bunny. What project was jesus working on . A computer . He made a promise that he will come back on easter. It took three days and two angels to move a boulder and jesus was alive. When jesus came back, he gave people easter eggs. He said, bunny, please, please dont hide the easter eggs. What did the people say when jesus came back . Um, they said jesus, please take care of us. Please dont kill us. What did jesus do when he came back to life . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that is really accurate. Thats the news. Very creative dancer. Thank you, children. You know, this is something. In canada, canadian Prime Minister justin trudeau, whos dreamy by the way, introduced [ cheers and applause ] are you canadians or just horny . Anyway, he introduced major legislation that would legalize marijuana for Recreational Use all throughout the country. All throughout canada. And boy, i tell you [ scattered applause ] jimmy they must really want seth rogen back is what i figure. This is one of his campaign promises, its expected to pass. The current punishment for being caught with pot in canada is cops saying, hey, maybe dont do that, eh . [ laughter ] thats it, really. Canadas about to become the stoner living in americas attic. Congratulations to you guys. [ cheers and applause ] i dont know if you read this today but maralago resort is under fire for unsanitary conditions. According to the miami herald, the Florida Department of business and professional regulation has inspected the kitchen at maralago, the resort owned by President Trump, and found 13 health code violations. Which how do you even violate a health code in florida . The whole state is a health code violation. The inspection happened days before trump welcomed the Prime Minister of japan. The violations included fish that had not undergone proper parasite destruction, some of the coolers were warm and there was meat in there, they kept finding long, weird, golden hairs in everything. [ laughter ] speaking of golden hairs, jeffrey lord, i dont know if you know who this is, hes kind of the resident donald trump defender on cnn, made an absolutely crazy statement this morning comparing donald trump to dr. Ml k. Martin luther king. Stay for the end here. Another commentator, simone sanders, delivered what might turn out to be the knockout punch of the year. I want to Say Something here that i know will probably drive simone crazy. Think of President Trump as the Martin Luther king of health care. Oh, jeffrey jeffrey. When i was a kid jeffrey. President kennedy did not want to introduce the civil rights bill because he said it wasnt popular, he didnt have the votes for it, et cetera. Dr. King kept putting people in the streets in harms way to put the pressure on so that okay the bill would be introduced jeffrey, you do understand that dr. King was marching for civil rights because people that look like me were being beaten. Dogs were being sicced on them. Basic human rights were being withheld from these people merely because of the color of their skin. So let not equate dr. Martin luther king jr. , humanitarian and Nobel Peace Prize winner, to the vaginagrabbing president , donald trump. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you dont come back from that. Vaginagrabbing this is the vaginagrabbing president , donald trump. If he ever gets a statue id like to see that engraved on the base. Nicely done, simone. One more thing before we forge ahead, it is thursday night which means its time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not, it is this week in unnecessary censorship. What did you think when you saw that video of a man being dragged off of one of your planes . Probably the word [ bleep ] comes to mind. Youre leaving us and were all bigger fans than we were. You are a [ bleep ]er. In the meantime, President Trump facing growing calls to [ bleep ] White House Press secretary sean spicer. Its great to talk to you, i want to let our viewers know whats coming up, chris, youve got a really big [ bleep ]. I wouldnt be here today without your friendship and support. [ bleep ] you all. According to this plaque, on november 4th, 1980, Ronald Reagan was taking a [ bleep ] right here when he found out he had become president of the united states. Its great to have him here. He just [ bleep ] the ass of a few of our young guys out there, that was fun. Nothing like a wet [ bleep ], some of the smelliest things on the planet. Love em but bathe em. What did i do to get Donnie Osmond to [ bleep ] me . Sit on the front row naked. A pair of former president s brought together by love of family and love of [ bleep ]s. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy wow. Were going to take a break. When we come back, we have something very special after the break. Our own guillermo traveled to the set of guardians of the galaxy volume 2. Not just to talk to the stars, to become one of the stars. When we return, our little friend makes his bigscreen debut with chris pratt, kurt russell and more. So stick around, well be right back hey ramirez un poquito mas rapido, no . [instrumental music playing throughout] [wheel squeaking] beautiful bike, just beautiful. Ha,ha,ha. [pumping of bike tire] [pumping of hospital ventilator] [rain falling] [wheel squeaking] Carlos Carlos dr. Brad needs to see you in room 3. [wheel squeaking] [heart monitor beeping] welcome to maxx you. You are whimsical, vibrant, statement making. We see what makes you unique. So we have something for everyone, at a price thats just right for you. Maxx you. Maxx life. T. J. Maxx ill have that goat cheese garden salad. That gentleman got the last one. Sir, you give me that salad and i will pay for your movie and one snack box. Can i keep the walnuts . Sold. But i get to pick your movie. Can i pick the genre . Yes, but it has to be a comedy. A little cash back on the side. With the blue cash everyday card from American Express, you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. Throw. Its more than cash back. Its backed by the service and security of American Express. Its more than cash back. Testinhuh . Sting is this thing on . Come on your turn where do pencils go on vacation . Pennsylvania laughter crunchy wheat frosted sweet kelloggs frosted miniwheats. Feed your inner kid you might not ever just stand there, looking at it. You may never even sit in the back seat. Yeah, but maybe you should. laughter jimmy welcome back. Which are leets theron, tony goldwyn, music from romeo santos on the way. Were rapidly approaching summer movie season. One of the biggest movies this summer will undoubtedly be guard yans of the galaxy volume 2. The whole cast will be here monday. We also have a cast member here right now, that cast member is our own guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] hes been working on for a while. About a year a go our friends at marvel offered guillermo a part in the new guardians movie. Here he is on set with his fellow stars of film. Guillermo 30 years ago, i was in tv for the first time. He was always very hungry. He loves tuna fish. I was supposed to be the cook, the chef, for michael jackson. Read it in all my book the way i make his meal. It is a real treat. Now im going to be on this hollywood big movie. Guardians of the galaxy volume 2. Wow, a lot of actors, big actors, you know. Like the guy named chris. Wham bam thank you maam guillermo chris, hey buddy so good to see you. Youre here, youre going to be in the movie. Ive got to get some advice, i need some help. First question. Oh, yeah. How do you act . Thats the question . Yeah. How do you act . Yeah. Theres three looks. All right . Three . Three looks. Okay. The first one, happy. Happy. Thats good, thats good. The next one. Sad. And then the third one, scared. There you go, thats good. Thats all you need. What about sexy . Just use scared. [ laughter ] oh, look at that, sexy. Do that. Youre going to be there to help me . No, no, no. No . No, this will be our last interaction, ill be sure of that. Give me happy. I knew you were listening. Chris gave me good advice. Now im going to talk to an actor from one of my favorite movies ever. Guillermo. Oh my god how you doing, man . Are you in this movie . Yeah, im in this movie. Are you playing a person . Yeah. Playing a person. Oh, good for you. You dont mind if i ask you for some advice for acting . Go ahead. What happens in my scene, i get sleepy. Guillermo, wait. Just remember this one thing, okay . Whatever you do, dont [ bleep ] up. [ laughter ] jimm im pretty sure he was tango. You show your nipples a lot . Yeah. Oh r. Wow. You have two too, right . I dont have two. Dude, youre going to show me your nipples. How are these . Satisfactory. Its time for me to get in my character. What kind of power am i going to have. And im going to be green. What kind of crazy creature theyre going to make me. A cop. Okay. So i just find out im going to play a cop. Thats so cool in movies. Oh my god. Its like, you have the right to remain silent you think you a tough guy . Give me your license and registration guillermo, have you been drinking . No, officer. Tell me the truth [ laughter ] little bit. [ cheers and applause ] guillermo, youre up next, get your game face on. You like that . Yeah, i like that. Following you around with an umbrella . First time. Were going to have you standing with another guy by the name of matt. And hes going to be telling people to stand back and youve got to have his back. So i just like move like this . That kind of looks like youre swimming. But yeah, that works. I keep thinking what tango say. Dont [ bleep ] up. Oh. I have to do my best. Then the director action everybody, get back, get out of the way this is for your own safety get back now did you hear me . Stay back now cut that was great, man. Guillermo . Get back, get back now sir, put the camera down now now get back, get out of the way do you want me to kick their asses . Thats not necessarily but thank you. Stay back i think we did good, huh . Yeah, i think so. Lets hear it. Good job, good job. Thank you. You know what . I think i did a good job. Thank you, everybody. I cannot wait to see myself on the big screen in the movies, you know. Tell everybody, hey, guillermos in that movie. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy come over here, guillermo. I want to be with you on the scene. [ cheers and applause ] marvel sent us an exclusive look at your clip. Youve not seen this, right . Guillermo no, i havent seen it. Jimmy here it is, the World Premiere of guillermo whats your last name . Guillermo rodriguez. Jimmy rodriguez, cop number 2 in guardians of the galaxy volume 2. Everybody, i need you to stay back what is that . Jimmy what did you think . [ laughter ] guillermo i didnt see myself. Jimmy lets put it up on the wall. Put it up on the wall so you can actually see it a little better. So now watch really closely here. All right . Stand back jimmy and oh, right there there you are. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy zoom in on that. Wow. Congratulations. All right. Ill see you at the oscars. All right, tonight on the show, from scandal, tony goldwyn. We have music from romeo santos. And well be right back with Charlize Theron [ cheers and applause ] say hello to the new unlimited data plans from at t and never pay overages again. So now the whole family can binge,. Surf, shop, navigate, listen, game, stream and more. All without the hassle of worrying about overages or running out of data. Only with at t, you can now get unlimited data with hbo included. And remember, its our best, wireless Unlimited Deal ever. So get at t, get unlimited and get everyone more for less. I wanna rock right now im lil yachty and im down, if youre down im not the most lyrical kid known yet im known to keep the party going now look what you made me do you and me baby it takes two bringing new moves to the old school 1, 2, 3 get loose now it takes two to make a thing go right 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 it takes two to make it outta sight you gonna close your welleyes on world war iii . Or are you gonna saddle up and save the entire damn world . Its about to get hot like hot like, hot like, hot like. Rated pg13. Busibusinessman 1 yea, yea, yea. You know what iml craving right now . Businessman 1 over speaker guacamole and bacon. Audio tech we got a craving go go go music crashing cravings in the crave van. Jacks gonna crash your crave jack hey guys, try my guacamole and bacon chicken sandwich with all white meat chicken, guacamole and pepperjack cheese. Businessman 1 thanks jack. Wait. Were on the 18th floor. How did you get here . Jack hard work. Jack vo you crave it, we serve it. Try my new guacamole and bacon chicken sandwich. Music crave van livestreat the airport. E sport, binge dvrd shows, while painting your toes. On demand laughs, during long bubble baths. Tv on every screen is awesome. The allnew Xfinity Stream app. All your tv at home. The most on demand, your entire dvr, top networks, and live sports on the go. Included with xfinity tv. Xfinity the future of awesome. Jimmy hi, welcome back. Tonight he plays fitz on scandal which had its 100th episode earlier tonight here on abc, tony goldwyn is with us. The other tv president. [ cheers and applause ] then this is his album, Heroe Favorito. Romeo santos from the mercedesbenz outdoor stage. They say hes the king of bachata but ill let you decide that for yourself. We have quite a line up for you next week with julia louisdreyfus, earvin magic johnson, gabourey sidibe, kevin nealon, rob delaney. Well have music from bleachers, dua leepa, yo gotti, and a band called dream car, which is made up of members of afi and no doubt. And as i mentioned before, the cast of guardians of the galaxy volume 2 chris pratt, zoe saldana, kurt russell, dave bautista, Michael Rooker and the films breakout new star guillermo will be here too. Sorry about that again, guillermo. Guillermo its okay, no problem. Jimmy show, its a tough business, i think it is, i think youve learned that. Guillermo i know, its hard. Jimmy after roaring through postapocalyptic wastelands in mad max fury road, our first guest burns rubber again in a franchise of another kind, sh