Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170614

Of you watched the basketball game last night . [ cheers and applause ] last night the goelgts warriors won their second nba title in three years. It was the mostwatched game five since 1998. Did you watch the game . Guillermo yes, jimmy. Go golden state the warriors went 161 in the postseason. It goes to show you work hard, you believe in yourself, and have every great player other than lebron james on your team, you can accomplish anything, you really can. [ cheers and applause ] kevin durant was mvp, he had 39 points, 7 rebounds, 5 assists last night. And he brought orange slices for the whole team. Hes very valuable. This is his first nba title. And his mother was on hand to cheer him on and embarrass him on television. He just cant stop smiling. Hes sharing the moment with his mom. Look at me you did this jimmy im guessing she has a lot to get through. [ cheers and applause ] she wins most valuable parent. After the game one of my least favorite things happened. In the locker room afterwards the warriors celebrated by spraying 150 bottles of champagne on each other. This champagne is 1,200 a bottle. 180,000 worth of champagne. Theyre not even drinking it. Theyre spraying on each other. Why not go to the top of the stadium and throw 100 mac books off the roof . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] its very expensive. Its so wasteful. Especially expensive for the fans. But even they didnt seem to have a problem with spending a lot of money. Im excited to pay almost 5,000 to witness the championship and to pay almost 3,000 for a ticket to fly all the way here. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy all right. Being sarcastic . She should have been allowed to drink one of those 1,200 bottles of champagne. Warriors fans jammed the streets of oakland last night, it was pretty crazy. Meanwhile this is how it went in pittsburgh after the penguins clinched their second straight stanley cup. Stick with this because youre about to see a reporter get madder and madder and madder until eventually he blows a fuse. And its absolutely crazy. And its still crazy. Its crazy, its crazy, its crazy do you think its crazy . Its absolutely nuts. But anyway, paul. I have no problem with it. People are blowing off steam. And its too much. Its just too much. Lets go, pens. Here we go. All night since the end of the game, its really funny, because its really, really crazy. Bring that camera around and see what happens. Im not mad at any of these folks but they really need to tone it down and let us do our thing. And its been tough. Now you hear them chanting. Were going to let you do back because this has to end. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i could watch it longer. That was a man counting the days until retirement. [ laughter ] in other sports news, Dennis Rodman is back in north korea. [ applause ] remember when that seemed weird . Now its like, yeah, of course he is, nothing makes sense anymore. This is Dennis Rodmans fifth visit to north korea. They must have sex parties for him or something . Its all very strange. I have a theory about why the north koreans have Dennis Rodman so much. Theyre so cut off from everything, they dont have internet, only state television, its possible they think Dennis Rodman is still playing in the nba. They might think he won another trophy last night. Dennis rodman said hes hoping to do something pretty positive . North korea. While at this point the most positive thing he could do is stay there forever [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i didnt realize how much antiDennis Rodman sentiment there was. This is what a man identified as dennis agent had to say about this important diplomatic mission. He has, you know the unique, amazing relationship between both President Trump and marshal kim jongun. He is the only man to have a relationship and be friends with both people. And hes going there tomorrow, try to brim the gap and bring peace and dialogue between both nations. Jimmy okay, a couple of thoughts. First of all, they seem to be sharing a hotel room. [ laughter ] which is not a great sign. Two beds. Secondly, i love that one of them brought a little vornedo fan all the way to north korea. For his part Dennis Rodman said he believes his trip will help President Trump. And i never thought id say this but maybe we should let President Trump take care of this one, huh . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] it was another interesting day in washington, d. C. According to one of his closest friends, the president is thinking about firing the head of the special counsel investigating his potential campaign ties to russia, robert mueller. He wants to fire robert mueller, another guy whos investigating him. Which seems like a very bad idea but its not unprecedented. Nixon did and it that worked out okay, right . [ laughter ] firing the person in charge of investigating you is very suspicious. Adam schiff, the top democrat on the intelligence committee, said he cant imagine the president would be crazy enough to go through with it. Really . [ laughter ] because you must not have much of an imagination, because im imagining it right now and it doesnt seem too out there. [ cheers and applause ] meanwhile the big event in d. C. Today, attorney general Jeff Sessions testified in front of the Senate Intelligence committee. It was fascinating testimony. We learned about all the things he cant recall. And there were many. He refused to discuss or recount any conversations he had with the president. But i noticed something about him. Jeff sessions has a bit of a tell when hes not being entirely truthful. Its a physical response. Its very subtle but watch very closely. Are you willing to sit here and tell the american people, unfiltered by what the medias going to put out that you participated in no conversations of any kind where there was collusion between the Trump Campaign and any other Foreign Government . I can say that absolutely. And have no hesitation to do so. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy so they had this q a. And Senate Democrats accused Jeff Sessions of stonewalling which the attorney general adamantly denied. Although he did add if he did decide to stonewall, the mexicans would definitely be paying for it. [ laughter ] it was a long session today. Or at least it felt long. The attorney general, he dodged most every interesting question he was asked, which makes it hard to sit through. So we decided to spice it up. We took audio from sessions testimony and paired it with video from a looney tunes cartoon. And the result is testimony the whole family can enjoy. General sessions, respectfully, youre not answering the question what is the question . The question is, mr. Comey said that there were matters with respect to the recusal that were problematic and he couldnt talk about them. What are they . That why dont you tell me . There are none, senator wyden, there are none. I can tell you that for absolute certain. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy senator wyden. Hey, you know, for those of you who are visiting us, theres something fun for the kids. A new museum here in l. A. Called the museum of ice cream. Everything in it is ice cream themed. The artwork, theres actual ice cream, its very popular. Tickets are sold out for i dont know how its like the hamilton of museums. We managed to get our hands on a Golden Ticket and we gave that ticket to our friend ronnie malik who stars on mr. Robot. This is what happens when mr. Robot meets mr. Softie. Hi. Welcome to the museum of ice cream. My name is strawberry sydney. Just a few things before moving on. Our museum is a onewaythrough museum, please keep moving forward in our museum and in life. While you are in each room please try and finish your designated treat inside that room before moving on. We have a lot of artists that have come here have fun ice cream. You scream. We all scream for ice cream. An ode to joy. A sweet balance to our salty tears. Are these wonders even real . Am i . Like ice cream . Yeah. You like ice cream . Yeah. Thats cool. How do you make an Ice Cream Museum without completely going insane . Where do you draw the line . Is gelato ice cream . What about froyo . Its a double scoop of anarchy. Can i tell you a secret . Yes. Im here because im trying to overcome a personal childhood ice cream trauma. Ice cream man thats right. Mr. Softie was watching me all the time. He watched me. And on top of all that im lactose intolerant. [ laughter ] the whole system is rigged. The claw grabs the prize but who grabs the claw . Mrm mm do you ever get ice cream headaches . No. You . I do. Its not from the ice cream. Its because the government embedded a chip into my spine. Its not a joke. Its for real. Its not even funny. Is all of this a tooty fruity illusion covered in sprinkles . So, so, so many sprinkles . Are you done now . Not even close. Well, thank you so much for being here. Thats where youre wrong. We arent here at all. Im just locked in a prison of our own design. And the key is stamped do not duplicate. Hey, can i have one of those tshirts . Uh yeah, of course. Awesome. I got no worries got no woes [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thanks to rodney malik and the museum of ice cream. We have to take a break. When we come back were going to give a pedestrian a chance to get a haircut from a celebrity but what they do not know is that the celebrity who will be cutting their hair is Johnny Knoxville. So stick around for that well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] you totaled your brand new car. Nobodys hurt, but there will still be pain. It comes when your Insurance Company says theyll only pay threequarters of what it takes to replace it. What are you supposed to do . Drive threequarters of a car . Now if you had Liberty Mutual new car replacement™, youd get your whole car back. I guess they dont want you driving around on three wheels. Smart. With Liberty Mutual new car replacement™, well replace the full value of your car. Liberty stands with you™. Liberty mutual insurance. Pshare the same values in helping others. Lo thats why we support service dogs for heroes. We provide welltrained service dogs for veterans in need. Our goal . To raise 1 million. Visit petsmart to donate at the register. Petsmart for the love of pets. Schick hydro®. Protecting mankind, one face at a time. Schick hydro®. Technology that transforms. Only tylenol® rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. They release medicine fast, for fast pain relief. Tylenol® more people are choosing nissan. Its americas best sales event at nissan the fastestgrowing auto brand in the u. S. A. Take on every day get 0 for up to 72 months on 13 models. Weli had to get myike sunscoffee, jane lynchion. Well what can we do to fix this . Wake up earlier . Awe, thats cute. No. Next time use masterpass. Add value. Order your coffee ahead. Speed past the line. Open the pool on time. Winning the morning. Priceless dont just buy it. Masterpass it. The average familys below average deck its splintered 11 paws, triggered an Award Winning sigh, and inspired 1 incredible makeover. Just clean, conceal, cover. Since then its hosted 1 dance party, staged 4 soldout shows, and sparked deckover doovers for days. Its your made to last deck. One great leap for bare feet. Behr deckover, available in 3 finishes. Only at the home depot. The Energy Conscious whopeople among usle . Say small actions can add up to something. Humongous. A little thing here. A little thing there. Starts to feel like a badge maybe millions can wear. Who are all these caretakers, advocates too . Turns out, its californians its me and its you. Dont stop now, its easy to add to the routine. Join Energy Upgrade california and do your thing. More people are choosing nissan. Its americas best sales event at nissan the fastestgrowing auto brand in the u. S. A. Take on every day get 0 for up to 72 months on 13 models. Jimmy hi, everyone. Welcome back to the show. Johnny knoxville, jessica st. Clair, Lennon Parham and music from the band fortune is on the way. The official start of summer is a week away. We decided to offer folks passing by a free haircut. G guillermos on the boulevard. Youve got a bar wear abers th. You will not be cutting hair . Guillermo no, jimmy, no. Jimmy anybody out there needs a haircut that indicated they would be indeed willing to get a hair caught guillermo yeah. Sit right there. Jimmy what is your name . My name is keegan. Jimmy what are you doing now for a living . Right now i work as a music producer in hollywood, i do a little bit of acting on the side. Jimmy that means unemployed, everybody. [ laughter ] i would like you to meet your celebrity barber. And here he comes. [ cheers and applause ] how are you . My names Johnny Knoxville, ill be your barber. All right. Good to see you. Jimmy thats Johnny Knoxville. Are you still its got alcohol it in, jimmy. Jimmy now that youve met your celebrity barber, are you still willing to get your hair cut by him . No. Jimmy you are not . No. Jimmy for real, no, you will not get your hair cut by Johnny Knoxville . Yeah, i can do it. Jimmy yes or no, in or out . Whats going on right here . My hands broke, ive got to take this off and it really smell in there, smell. Jimmy geez. It really smells. Okay, its going jimmy hold on one second, johnny, we must get his consent. Oh, oh. Jimmy i want a yes or a no. If its no youve got to go. Lets do it, cut my hair, i agree. Jimmy okay, here we go lets do it. [ cheers and applause ] ive never done it before. Guillermo do you want help . Yes, please, help me. Jimmy guillermo, you are also cutting wait a minute hold on, how do you know youre giving the same hairstyle right now . Its got jazz. Youve got to feel it, jimmy. Jimmy youve got to feel it. All right. Guillermo, leave some hair in the front there. Guillermo all right, okay. Jimmy okay, wow. I got to tell you, however it comes out, its not going to look worse than how you walked in here, come on you be nice, jimmy. Jimmy, how am i looking . Wasnt talking to him, i was talking to you, johnny. Im kidding, okay. How are you doing downstairs . Need a little trim downstairs . I do waxes. Jimmy what is your blood type just in case this gets out of hand . Do you know . You do not. Oh, this is great. I dont even have Health Insurance to be honest with you. All right jimmy as far as things Johnny Knoxville has done thats all right, ive got all the medication you need. Jimmy dr. Johnny will take care of you. Thats right. Jimmy you dont have any important events like a wedding or anything to attend in the next couple of months . Well youre actually looking good, youre looking good, come on, youre looking good. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy gee your mow, youve got to work on your side. Your side actually both sides. It all looks kind of terrible, ill be honest with you. Like if you were to get this at super cuts there would be a lawsuit afterwards for sure. You didnt even ask him what kind of cut he wanted. Guillermo oh [ bleep ]. What do you want . Do you want a shampoo and set . A cut and color . Its a little too late for that. I spit a potato chip on your thing, sorry. Jimmy how quickly does your hair grow back in general . Are you a fast hair grower . That took me about a year, i think. Jimmy a year, youre unique, youve got plenty time. Youre looking good. Jimmy are you guys almost done . Hey, you want to do the downstairs . Keep it covered. We got kids out here. Jimmy hes going to give you a brazilian. Guillermo. Show in the mirror. I need to gain control of this again. Show him the mirror. Tell us what you think, keegan, of your hair. Guillermo tell us the truth, nothing but the truth. I think he likes it. I love it. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy dont forget to tip your barber. Its free anyway. Jimmy its great, looks good. Thank you for your bravery, thanks to Johnny Knoxville for lending a helping hand. Thank you, fellows. Johnny, come back in here and wash up before you do. Okay, okay. Jimmy tonight on the show we have music from band of horses, jessica st. Clair, be right back with Johnny Knoxville so stick around [ cheers and applause ] dicky portions of jimmy kimmel already are brought to you by google home. Ask it questions, tell it to do things, and the Google Assistant is always ready to help. vo you can pass down a subaru forester. dad shes all yours. vo but you get to keep the memories. Love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. cheering woo going on my first targetrun. Need anything . Laundry detergent toothpaste ill get my purse. Ok, nana. Get everyday low prices on everyday essentials, targetrun and done. You on a perfect car,rch then smash it into a tree. Your Insurance Company raises your rates. Maybe you shouldve done more research on them. For drivers with accident forgiveness, Liberty Mutual wont raise your rates due to your first accident. Liberty mutual insurance. Testinhuh . Sting is this thing on . Come on your turn where do pencils go on vacation . Pennsylvania laughter crunchy wheat frosted sweet kelloggs frosted miniwheats. Feed your inner kid have to travel from its source to the bottle . A hundred miles . A thousand miles . How about less than a mile and a half . Crystal geyser always bottled at the mountain source. How fafrom its sourcelpine spring to the bottle . Travel how about less than a mile and a half . Crystal geyser is the only major us spring water bottled at the mountain source. Jimmy welcome to the show. Tonight, from their very funny show playing house, jessica st. Clair and Lennon Parham are here. Then, their latest album is called, why are you okay, band of horses from the mercedesbenz stage. If youre not familiar with this band, its an amazing thing. This is an actual band, composed entirely of horses. There are no humans in it at all. [ laughter ] tomorrow night, jamie foxx will be here. Well have music from trace adkins. And on thursday, andy samberg, jillian bell, and music from 2 chainz featuring trey songz and ty dolla ign. So please join us. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is an actor, producer, screenwriter and maniac. He gave painful birth to the jackass empire and hes here tonight because he loves us. Please say hello to Johnny Knoxville. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy may i ask, you look like schneider from one day at a time. You transformed into a super from the 70s. I guess i forgot to take this off. Jimmy i guess so. Its a good look for you. I feel really butch in it. Jimmy how are you doing . You just got back from south africa . Yes, i was in south africa for 14 weeks shooting a movie, a comedy, lots of stunts. Jimmy you cant talk about the movie . You told me what the movie was, now theres some weird thing, right . No, no, its its a comedy about like the most dangerous theme park of alltime which i happen to own. Jimmy uhhuh. And we do all the stunts for real. Like in jackass, its all wide train, no cut on the action, so you can tell were doing them, and boy did that cost me. Jimmy what happened . How many injuries . Lets go through it this time. On this one, two concussions, a brokendown, sprained knee, torn mcl, i got stitches on this side. The worst thing is i got home from the emergency room one night, i went three times in the fiveday stretch at one point. Jimmy great. But i get home from the emergency room for my second concussion. And i blow my nose. When i blow my nose, my left eye pops out of its socket. And i wasnt expecting that. [ laughter ] it was like halfway out. And so i poke it back in. Jimmy oh, with your hands . I was scared. Like i dont know what to do. Jimmy right, right. It shouldnt be like that, i poke the it back in. Jimmy want right thing to do . Well i guess. I dont know. I went back to the emergency room. They told me i had a blowout fracture. Apparently when i hit my face into the ground on the stunt, the orbital lamina bone didnt break, it just disappeared. When i blew my nose it was blowing air behind my eyeball and pushes it out of its socket. [ audience groans ] jimmy what is wrong with you . What is wrong with you . [ cheers and applause ] how long is this going to go on . I mean, are you going to be 80 and doing this . How long are you going to keep doing your own stunts like this . I dont know. Its still fun. Jimmy yeah. So, i mean jimmy why doesnt tom cruise get his eyeball popped out of his head . He does his own stunts. It happened twice. It happened the first time. Jimmy what do you mean it happened twice . Well, it happened twice. The first time it came out, i put it back in, went to the emergency room, they look the at it. And i got to wear an eye patch for a few days, though, which i felt really butch in the eye patch. But i went with pontius, pontius is in the movie too, hes amazing. We had a couple of drinks, he said something funny and i laughed, for some reason i held my nose and laughed. Im not even supposed to sneeze the next three weeks. I held hi nose and laughed, it pushed my eye back out again. They could only shoot this side of my face for the last few days of the move. Jimmy oh my god, this is ridiculous. The footage turned out good. Jimmy oh, well, thats the most important thing. [ cheers and applause ] do your other maniac friends it seems to me that your friends, if they knew you were not supposed to sneeze for three weeks, theyd be following you around with pepper and stuff throwing it in your face. Exactly. Im allergic to everything. Every tree, every grass, mold, dust, dogs, cats. Jimmy this is perfect. Yeah. So were just, you know just waiting around. Figure Tony Barbieri or somebody is going to come out . We have lunatics working on the show. Youve got more than a couple. [ laughter ] you think i got some good hires. Jimmy we could get you a big round plastic bubble to live in like John Travolta in that movie. What do your kids say when dad comes home with no eyeball . Well, when i got i told them, well, with this, i just said daddy fell at work. And with the eyeball i took the eye patch off when i came home because i didnt want to go into that whole explanation. Jimmy right, yeah. You could have just done a pirate thing and they probably would have been excited. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But i didnt think that far ahead. Jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] next time. Yeah, next time. Jimmy once you start doing this at parties when you realize you can control when your eyeballs come out. I could make it come out right now jimmy could you really . Hold on a second. [ cheers and applause ] im not talking to you because i know. But dont you dare encourage him to do this. No, because my wifes here. She will kill me. Jimmy yeah. As if killing you would be better at this point than what youre doing to yourself. Were going to take a break. When we come back, you brought some video. Youre now getting the whole family into the act, it seems. Well, my son is a deep thinker like me. Jimmy uhhuh. Right. When we come back, well see the latest terror that Johnny Knoxville is up to. Johnny knoxville is here well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] its here its here its here ahhhhhhh boom open it should i open it . Ahahaaa yeaaa this is worth every penny this is so my color so, if anyone has a reason that these two should not be wed, speak now. coughs so sorry. Oh no. Its just that your friend daryl here is supposed to be Live Streaming the wedding and hes not getting any service. I missed, like, the whole thing. What . And i just got an unlimited plan. Its the right plan, wrong network. You see, verizon has the largest, most reliable 4g lte network in america. Its built to work better in cities. Tell you what, just use mine. Thanks. No problem. All right, lets go live. Say hi to everybody who wasnt invited vo when it really, really matters, you need the best network and the best unlimited. Plus, get our best smartphones for just 15 a month. Swhen it comes to molding young minds, nobody does it better. She also builds her own fighting robots. Destroy. But when it comes to mortgages, shes less confident. Fortunately for sarah, theres Rocket Mortgage by quicken loans. Its simple, so she can understand the details and be sure shes getting the right mortgage. Apply simply. Understand fully. Mortgage confidently. Jimmy were on Johnny Knoxville is here. So were just talking about what it feels like when your eyeball comes out of your head. Turns out it doesnt feel great. No. I really wasnt expecting that at all. Jimmy here is a picture of you with your eye patch. And thats bubble gum, i hope, not eyeball. That is that was in the movie we have a theme park, and inside the theme park we have a petting zoo which is very dangerous. And this is minky the masturbating monkey. And thats not his character name, thats his name in real life. He has a problem, folks. [ laughter ] jimmy where did you find minky . We had an animal wrangler, i got this monkey who cant stop touching himself, would you like to use him in the movie . And i said yes. [ laughter ] and unfortunately hes a righty, hes got a hold of my gum. Jimmy so how often is this monkey touching himself . Constantly. Hell lay into your arm too. Which he did it to one of the actresses in the film. We were trying to get that shot. And the animal wrangler is like, look, he doesnt like guys, weve got to clear the set of guys, weve got to have a lot of the ladies on set. Then he would cooperate. Jimmy really. Yeah. Jimmy so hes heterosexual. Yeah, hes a well, hes more than that. Hes a pervert. Jimmy that sounds like you can make a movie just with minky alone. I mean, you would go see the movie just for minky the masturbating monkey. Jimmy 100 . Forget everything that i broke in the movie. That guys bizarre. Jimmy your kids are how old now . I have a daughter whos 21, in college, going to be a senior. I have a 7yearold boy and a 5yearold daughter. Jimmy so you brought some video. Brought a couple of videos. This is something that well, yeah, i you know, we went out to eat last night. And my son i gave him some wasabi once. Hes like, i want to make another dollar. So he ate some wasabi. This time i gave him like a nice jimmy you paid him to eat wasabi . He wasnt like,fy eat this can i get a dollar . Im like, if you eat this you can get a dollar. Well see how it dpeegoes. Jimmy here we go. You got it, you got it, you got it, you got it. You got it, you got it. Jimmy lets look at the other angle. One, two, three you got it, you got it, you i got it. You got it, you got it, you got it. [ applause ] and thats his older sister giving him the you got it, you got it. We needed the footage. Jimmy its a very sick family all the way around. He was so happy afterwards. Jimmy you gave him the dollar snmplts i gave him the dollar, yeah. Jimmy does he realize how much money you make for doing that kind of thing . [ laughter ] i didnt bring up the back end deal. Then hell want points. [ applause ] jimmy yeah. Is your life is she okay with this sort of thing . Uh, well [ laughter ] you know. I think she laughed when we got home. You know. Because were in a restaurant. The people behind us and next to us are not happy at all. Because thats not the only incident that went down. It was constant. They were happy when we left. And my wife is just, you know. Jimmy shes a special woman. She puts up with a lot. Its amazing. She does ask shes outnumbered now. Johnny knoxville, everybody thank you, johnny. Well be right back with jessica st. Clair and Lennon Parham. [ cheers and applause ] run, run. As fast as you can. You cant catch me; im the gingerbread man. It will be mine. Ive got it now. Introducing an allnew crossover, toyota chr. Toyota. Lets go places. Better than a manual, and my hygienist says it does. But. Theyre not all the same. Turns out, theyre really. Different. Who knew . I had no idea. So, she said look for. One thats shaped like a dental tool with a round. Brush head. Go pro with oralb. Oralbs rounded brush head surrounds each tooth to. Gently remove more plaque and. Oralb crossaction is clinically proven to. Remove more plaque than sonicare diamondclean. My mouth feels so clean. Ill only use an oralb the 1 brand used by dentists worldwide. Oralb. Brush like a pro. Abdominal pain. And diarrhea. But its my anniversary. Aw. Sorry. Weve got other plans. Your recurring, unpredictable abdominal pain and diarrhea. May be Irritable Bowel Syndrome with diarrhea, or ibsd. Youve tried overthecounter treatments and lifestyle changes, but ibsd can be really frustrating. Talk to your doctor about viberzi,. A different way to treat ibsd. Viberzi is a Prescription Medication you take every day that helps proactively manage. Both abdominal pain and diarrhea at the same time. So you stay ahead of your symptoms. Viberzi can cause new or worsening abdominal pain. Do not take viberzi if you have no gallbladder, have pancreas or severe liver problems, problems with alcohol abuse, longlasting or severe constipation, or a bowel or gallbladder blockage. Pancreatitis may occur and can lead to hospitalization and death. If you are taking viberzi,. You should not take medicines that cause constipation. The most common side effects of viberzi. Include constipation, nausea, and abdominal pain. Stay ahead of ibsd with viberzi. [music volume rises] run in to get up to 50 percent off the entire store. [wh hi, fashion. Old navy. were proud to reveal that jim beam black has been awarded the worlds highest rated bourbon. Their words, not ours. Make history. make history. When a fire destroyedwith us everything in our living room. We replaced it all without touching our savings. Yeah, our insurance wont do that. No. You can leave worry behind when liberty stands with you™. Liberty mutual insurance. Going on a targetrun out oneed anything . Watermelon water please and soda grandpa got it get everyday low prices on everyday essentials, targetrun and done. Schick hydro®. Protecting mankind, one face at a time. Schick hydro®. Technology that transforms. But youve never had em quite like this. At red lobsters lobster shrimp summerfest, the lobster and shrimp you love are teaming up in so many new ways. Like new coastal lobster and shrimp, with a lobster tail with butter and herbs, sweet, smoky bbq red shrimp, and shrimp crusted with. Get this. Cape cod kettle chips. Or try lobster and shrimp overboard. A dish this good. Makes you this hungry. Its the highlight of the season, and cant last. So hurry in. Jimmy hi, there. Welcome back. Still to come, music from band of horses. Our next guests are best friends in real life who play best friends on tv. Season three of their very funny show, playing house, premieres june 23rd on usa. Please welcome jessica st. Clair and Lennon Parham. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome. Thank you. Jimmy your show is very funny. Aw, thanks. My wife wanted me to tell you shes watched every single episode of it. We love your wife, we love her. We sat next to her at a dinner. Yes, we did. Best friends. Were coming for her. Jimmy i was a little mad at her, usually we watch shows together and its almost like cheating to go off ask on your own and watch a whole other series. Thats true, thats true. This is the show is about best friends and the way we have like a secret relationship. So men dont really know how we are behind closed doors. Jimmy is that true . Yes. Definitely. The comedian nick crowe said once it was like being jane goodall and watching the apes interact. Jimmy are you the apes . I took it as a compliment. We are. In this scenario were the apes. Thats the only scenario. The rest of it you are. Jimmy the ape watching a bunch of Jane Goodalls in this case. Thats true. Making notes. Jimmy so you play not yourselves but goofier versions of yourselves. Yeah. Pretty close. Our thoughts are. Jimmy heightened. I like to think that. Maybe lennons are, mine are pretty much the same. Jimmy when youre a comedy team who makes the final call on like if theres a disagreement . Do you ever disagree . Do you have that situation . We disagree about like how to get there. But we always end up in the same place. Then when we get there were like, yeah thats it. Jimmy okay, now were we are so close, we live up each others ideas. All right, all right. You know what im saying . Come on, do you know what im saying . Do you know what i mean . Here we go again. I never saw it but i assume its about a person who takes their face and sees the world through their eyes. Thats not it. Thats what happens in that movie. Jimmy no, not really, no. Dont tell me its not scary. Jimmy i think your version is better, though. Thats what its like. Not to get too park. But i got the big c. In a jam. Nose jam. Jimmy this is real life . Real life. Real deal. This one picked out my boobs that i currently have in my body. Jimmy you had a double mastectomy . Yes. What happens is like very quickly, the Plastic Surgeon brought out a suitcase of boobs. That was like velvet lined. She was like, just put your hands on these and tell me which one feels most like yours. And im like, what . So it was myself and my husband and lennon. In the corner. Lennons in the corner. A bystander. I dont know, i dont feel them very often. Then my husband came over and poked the side of one. And i was like, get out of here youre fired, youre worthless stand in the corner and be ashamed thats a little bit of an exaggeration. [ laughter ] stand in the corner and be ashamed . Then she locked eyes with me. Shes like, get over here. Im what, what . No, im not picking out your boobs. Jimmy why were you there in the first place . That was the way i could contribute. That stuff happens, youve got to just be there, you dont know what youre doing. Who needs a basket of biscuits . Or whatever. I dont know. Like little red riding hood. She was there when i was first diagnosed. Why are we telling this like a fun lark . It was the worst day of our lives. My husband was out of town. We didnt realize everyone thought we were lesbian partners. We were getting quite the treatment. Jimmy in what way . What do you mean . Kind of like, who are these adorable sisters doing it for themselves, know what i mean . Jimmy oh, okay. Then my husband shows up the next day and theyre like, whos this [ bleep ] . All right, all right. Keep it classy. We talked about this before we came out here. Jimmy yeah its more fun when youre lesbians at the place, yes. It was more fun. But anyway. So they bring out the boobs and i said, lennon, youve got to get your hands on these, tell me which one. She felt each one, much like i felt your boobs first. Felt mine, got the heft of it, then felt each one then she goes its number 2. Drop the mike, and i put those in my body. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy wow. You didnt try them yourself . No. She was having a panic attack. Its a big decision. Like when you name your child. Youre like, should it be tallulah . Probably not. You know what i mean . But you just dont know in the moment. Because its such a panic. It is. But she did a great job. Jimmy yeah, well thank you. Jimmy i can see, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] theyre great. Theyre great. Jimmy and youre doing well, i hope . Oh my god, so well. No more cancer in this body. Jimmy and none in your television character either. Well, no. And so we told the story. And that scene where she selects my boobs, my oncologist is played by laurie metcalf. Who just won a tony, straightup tony. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy youve got a lot of great costars and various walkin guests including Kenny Loggins i saw. Oh my god. We heard you are quite a fan. Jimmy i do like Kenny Loggins. I enjoy the music of the the 80s. Wow. Jimmy did you ask him what celebrate me home means . Because ive spent many years trying to figure it out. I think it means, its been a long time, hes on the road, hes traveling, ease a musician does he want to be welcomed home . Yes, yes. Jimmy isnt it much to be celebrated at home . Hes Kenny Loggins, you should be celebrating him because hes still got it, 100 . Welcome to this danger zone. Yeah, welcome to this danger zone. Jimmy well, its great to meet you. The show, playing house, season three premieres friday, june 23rd on usa. Jessica st. Clair and Lennon Parham. Be right back with hand of horses [ cheers and applause ] dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. To have greattasting they sailight beer. Possible boom. Awardwinning heineken light, brewed with cascade hops. They also said a hologram cant pour a beer. Thats unfortunate. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy i want to thank Johnny Knoxville, jessica st. Clair, Lennon Parham, and apologize to matt damon. We ran out of time for him. Nightline is next, but first their album is called why are you okay, here with the song throw my mess, band of horses [ cheers and applause ] dont want to through my mess around all through the night one more time add a little link to the neighbors gate stumble to the lock it slow my mind slow my mind gonna get wasted all night long gripping on tight to the cutlery and when the paranoia come thinking about it maybe its been a while ponder it all you like you can take your time getting me arrested was the strangest fate or showing me that youre mine but it saved my life saved my life ill be with you all them years now if anybody dies before im back see me laughing through those tears baby wont you bring that hammer down doing it to myself just leave these things alone playing on a couch with a record on wouldnt that be fine when the days turn cold oh the days turn cold all the trees are turning gold when you see me floating with the mercury when a change of scene come [ cheers and applause ] this is nightline. Tonight, black and blusx blae was in command during the deadly assault on the Dallas Police force, the gunman saying he was seeking revenge for the shooting of unarmed black men by law enforcement. Now nearly a year later the former chief speaking out on policing and the racial divide. The issue is, trust is hard to earn, easy to lose. And losing his own son in a shootout with police. You cry till you cant cry no more. Being bethany, bethany mota has gone from a shy 13yearold blog tore a grown youtube star. How she overcame Cyber Bullying so intense it made her leave school. I started struggling with