Didnt have. We didnt have any of that. Stephen its called twitter. You should know we have a black president now. Its amazing. Im glad my fellow reps followed through with the spirit of the emancipation product lamedication. Stephen hes a democrat. After all i did for them . Stephen yep. Great catching up. I have a live show to do. Ive got to get down to the theater. Ntheater. Dont go to the theater its a trap its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight stephen welcomes rob lowe, kal penn and emma willman, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its word war one, the sorry, america. Your time is up. cheers and applause . Captioning sponsored by cbs stephen hey whats up, joseph . Hows it going, jon . cheers and applause stephen hey , whats up . . Whoo thank you very much welcome to the late show, everybody. Thank you so much. Hey, everybody we cawelcome to the late show, everybody. Thank you so much. Im Stephen Colbert, and not only is this audience alive, tonight we are live broadcasting from the ed sullivan theater boom live means in the excitement of the moment, if i make a mistake, it can never be taken back. I would like you to keep that in mind, when you go vote this next november. Never can be taken back. Jon please do. Stephen so deep breath, everybody. Lets come up for airport we all just watched donald trump and Hillary Clinton debate for an hour and a half. Coming into tonights debate, democrats we two strong emotions, panic and pantscrapping. laughter democrats have not been this nervous since Anthony Weiner asked to borrow their phone. laughter jon whoops stephen of course, i wouldnt do it. Not worth it. Not worth it. Jon no. Stephen the expectations for the two sides were very different. For hillary to win, had to be confident, not smug, knowledgeable without being know shrill, likable, warm, authoritative and not coughing. laughter meanwhile, donald trump had to not commit murder. laughter on camera. laughter and that low bar was reflected in Donald Trumps debate prep. Instead of doing a bunch of mock debates, the word is that he sat down with friends over bacon glasses of cocacola and tested out zingers. Wow thats how i prepared for tonights debate, too laughter and he may not have prepared, but it also looked like he didnt. laughter meanwhile, hillary was so prepared, my new nickname for her is preparation h. Yeah, its a compliment. In the primaries, she already proved she could soothe the burn. laughter i dont know what that means. Of course, it did not take long for one of these two candidates to tell a lie. Donald, its good to be with you. laughter stephen false where are the facts checkers . Where are the Fact Checkers . Pinocchio then secretary clinton went on the offensive on the topic of Climate Change. Donald thinks that Climate Change is a hoax perpetrated by the cheese. I think its real. I did not. Ts science do not say that. Stephen lets go to the tweet. Donald trump tweeted the concept of Global Warming was created for and by the cheese to make u. S. Manufacturing noncompetitive. Look, in all fairness, there is by the cheese to make trump noncompetitive. You dont know. applause you dont know. Jon we dont know stephen for months now, donald trump has questioned hillarys health repeatedly, and i gotta say, there was one possible health scare on stage tonight. Trump sounded like he was fighting off a cold with cocaine sniff, sniff we have to renegotiate our sniff, sniff laughter stephen he sounded like the coked up best man in the bathroom at a wedding. No, no. You guys, i got it sniff i know how to fix the economy. Lets go in together sniff buy a boat. Were going to start a laughter he was like scar face but with more face. laughter the debate was moderated by Nbcs Lester Holt which makes sense since he hosted dateline and is used to two rich white people who want to murder each other laughter and at times the crowd was a little rowdier an allowed in the rules and lester holt had to scold them. Let me admonish the audience one more time there was an agreement. We asked you to be silent. Stephen all right, so help me i will turn this debate around and neither one of these people will be president. Stop clapping. Trump no, no clapping. Where was i. Okay. Trump went on to explain why hillarys detailed plan to defeat i. S. I. S. Was a bad idea. Look at her web site you know what . Fight i. S. I. S. Just go to her web site. She tells you how to fight i. S. I. S. On her web site. I dont think general Douglas Macarthur would like that too much. Stephen yeah, general Douglas Macarthur would be, like, what is this web site you have . And what is this why is it asking me to donate 50 to a Hillary Clinton . laughter now, when the topic moved on to racial strife in this country which is a touchy felt he knew exactly what the problem was. First of all, secretary clinton doesnt want to use a couple of words, and thats law and order. law and order theme sound byte stephen thats a cheap joke and serious subject. You were saying . Im sorry. We have to bring back law and order law and order theme sound byte stephen very good show. Hes right. Fact check. A very good show. We miss you sam waterston. laughter still when it comes to Public Safety and national security, trump was proud of his endorsements. I was just endorsed by ice. Stephen now, actually, i dont think immigrations and Customs Enforcement is allowed to endorse a president ial candidate. In fairness, he might have been talking about being endorsed by it sure wasnt ice t. It wasnt physical scumplet he also knows about cybersecurity. As far as sciesh, i agree, cyber stephen yeah he knows a lot about cyberring. Has america tried unplugging terrorism and plugging it back in just to reboot the middle east . laughter and trump went on to explain that he didnt know if the russians hacked the d. N. C. , it could have been someone else. It also could be somebody sitting on their bed that weighs 400 pounds, okay . audience reacts stephen hey i dont care if it is essential to the security of our country, we do not say things like that no cheers and applause maybe we do. Then trump told the biggest lie of the debate. I think my strongest asset maybe by far is my temperament. laughter stephen maybe. Of course, well never know if his temperament is really his strongest asset because he wont release his tax returns. Do you realize how lester holt is angry with you right now for clapping . laughter and at the end of the debate, things really started to go off the rails. This is a man who has called women pigs, slobs and dogs, and someone who has said pregnancy is an inconvenience to employers never said that. And women never said though i did say the slob thing and it was funny. laughter so we got through it. We managed to get through 90 minutes of these two people on stage going at each others throats. In tend, there was really only one word that summed up how this whole debate, this whole election feels and donald trump captured it. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Stephen wrong. applause wrong. The only phrase he says more often is i do. We have a great show tonight cheers and applause when we come back, well find out if tonights debate changed any minds, plus weve got rob lowe and kal penn so stick around, everybody ah, im in there as katie. Ill call you later. Or. No i wont, ill text you, because what am i your dad . Dont stay out too late . Yea, just text me. Thank you, get home safe. 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What kind of person would misuse the topic of rape in a Political Campaign . Joe heck, thats who. The truth is, as attorney general, Catherine Cortez masto led the fight against crimes like Sexual Assault and worked with republicans and democrats to make sure rape kits were administered for victims. For rape kits. Joe heck. Lying about rape. Part of the problem in washington. Im Catherine Cortez masto and i approve this message. cheers and applause . Welcome back to the late show say hi to jon batiste and stay human, everybody cheers and applause keeping it alive. Okay. Now, the whole point of this debate tonight, the main prize the candidates are vying over is the elusive, undecided voter, and there are a lot of them. One in five people arent sure who they will vote for. In fact, one in two candidates still isnt h president. laughter i mean, it makes sense that people are torn. These are the two least popular candidates in history. Thats including the 1892 contest between oswalt the orphan strangler and box car johnny typhus. laughter so it if after all this time te entire election is going to be decided by these few undecided voters, i wanted to talk to one of them myself. Undecide voter Charles Hansen from ohio. Thank you, mr. Hansen. Thank you stephen thank you so much. Mr. Hansen, thanks so much for being here. Thank you, stephen. Also good to be here or not im still figuring it out. Stephen i understand, mr. Hansen. Voters like you hold the election in the palm of your hands but you have been having trouble your mind . Absolutely. I am 100 behind donald trump. Stephen really . What did trump say tonight that put you over the top . Well, i really liked when he said helped to bring back law and order. I love the woman star. Stephen strong argument. You werent swayed by secretary clintons moment when she said she not only prepared for president . That was good. Okay, im voting for hillary. Stephen just wanted to make sure. So her missing emails are of no concern for you . Forgot about that one. Okay, make America Great again stephen can i hold you to that . Youre definitely voting for just remembered trump university. Never mind. Im for her, stronger together. Stephen you clearly havent put enough thought into. This do you think you will be able to choose dont count on it. Stephen well, there are two more president ial debates. Do we think those are going to help . Outlook not so good. laughter stephen what about the Vice President ial debates is this will those make a difference for you . Rep reply hazy, try again a magic 8 ball . All signs point to yes. Stephen while you really, really cant decide anything, can you . I know, stephen i feel so lost i woke up this morning and i told myself, today im going to decide. The next thing i know im naked in a rock quarry swaling email server and tax returns in the dust with my tears stephen im going to help you. Go on instinct. Youve got to decide right now, gun to your head, trump or clinton . silence stephen mr. Henson mr. Henson, can you hear me . Oh, im sorry. I was imagining a gun to my head. laughter stephen undecided voter charles henson, everybody cheers and applause . . The Bud Light Party wasnt invited to the debates. But we dont need them. We have debates of our own every night. A hotdog is a sandwich. Over bud lights, of course. Its pronounced jif. You cannot outrun a zebra. Heres to good natured civil debates. Also, its gif. I tried hard to quit smoking. But when we brought our daughter home, that was it. Now i have nicoderm cq. The nicoderm cq patch with unique extended release Technology Helps prevent your urge to smoke all day. I struggle with bipolar depression, and its tough. It leaves me feeling sad and empty. It makes it hard to be there for the people i love. So i talked to my doctor and she prescribed latuda. There are many forms of depression. 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Being there for the people i love means i get to be a part of lifes little moments. And that means so much to me. Ask your doctor if oncedaily latuda is right for you. cheers and applause . Stephen hey welcome back he everybody. My first guest tonight has been a politically active dreamboat for as long as you can remember and he still looks younger than you. Please welcome rob lowe cheers and applause stephen nice to see ya that was fun. That voter was an idiot, though. Stephen that guy . He was an idiot. Stephen what a tool. Unbelievable. Im happy youre here but i have a bone to pick with you. Okay. Stephen because this whole damn thing might be your fault. What did i do . Stephen youre very influential. You realize that, right . Be careful where you point that face. This is it. Because we have footage that prov 2011. Ready . Why do you like donald . I think donald should run. I wish hed reconsider, theres still time. If palins thinking about getting in, theres still time for you to reconsider. I think it would be great. I really want to see you in a debate. It would be good to see you keep people honest in a debate. Will you reconsider . I will say this, i watch stephen you got what you want. All i have to say, stephen, is my work here is done. Stephen are you rawngs mole by any chance . I am from the kgb to ruin the country stephen youre trying to look like your evil twin tonight with that hair on your face. Thats a compliment. I take it as a compliment. Stephen have you made up your mind . After that, im going with the candidate thats the mostly dratted. Donald drank so much water that i am very concerned for his health. Stephen maybe he ate a lot of beef jerky before the debate. Whats it going to take to get rob lowes vote . You have been politically active. You campaigned for arnold schwarzenegger. I campaigned for both sides i can always pick a winner. Stephen wow i have been on both sides of it. Heres the thing, my new show code black is coming out. I want every voter to watch, no matter how stupid. Stephen no matter how stupid the voters are. Stephen so youre not going to say which side youre on. When the ratings come in, i will tell you. Stephen youre a its true. Stephen youve met both these people, trump and mrs. Clinton. I have. Mrs. Clinton is one of those politicians that in rooms of small people shes really funny, she totally gets it. Then sometimes she can be out in public and come across as stiff and maybe whatever, but shes always been really sweet and funny, and president clinton wrote me a nice note about my book completely out to have the blue. Thats how good they are. They want that one last vote in california. Stephen what about donald as you can see, were phone buddies. Stephen do you have any relationship with him . Have you spent any time with him . I havent. Stephen has he written you a nice note . No, but he donated to the charity i was on the show promoting, habitat for humanity, and he out of the blue donated 5grand to us. So that was nice of him. Stephen so rob reason can be bought. No question. laughter stephen youre very likable. People like rob lowe, right . cheering hell, Hillary Clintons likability numbers are low. Do you have any advice for her . Anything . My favorite hillary thing is the move she does, its so beautiful, she does it every public appearance. When she walks out, she waits and then she gives the look of, oh, my gosh, i didnt know you were here point. Stephen can we get a shot of that . Its always like she did it at the debate more, its going to solve everything. Stephen she just has to point at every person in america. Yeah, exactly. Stephen now, you not only have the support of politicians but youve played a politician in the adaptation of bill oreillys work. I played j. F. K. Stephen do you think you could play trump . Would that be an appealing role . When i try my trump out, it comes across as bernie burlstein. He does this with the hands. Stephen he always dhuz. Ive got the hands stephen my favorite thing let me see the size of your hands. Well, theyre small enough, sad to say. My favorite move of trumps is policy, policy, very detailed, you know its true, its so true, we all know it is. Its so true and anybody knows. And we know it is. Policy, policy, policy i love that when you get to see the reading and the riffing. Stephen have you thought about politics in any serious way in. Yeah, the only thing that i what Ronald Reagan did. He was an actor and ran gore Screen Actors Guild president and governor and then president. So Screen Actors Guild president i would run for only because its the only office i know exactly what my platform would be and it would be all actors get to break for lunch one hour earlier on the set. Stephen thats it . Thats it. I dont care about your residuals and multiple platforms and streaming and the internet, day. Stephen okay. And by the way, it would crush anybo