Happening in cleveland. Tonight, episode three of this incredible fourpart reality series. Featuring all of Donald Trumps family members and frenemies. Even ted cruz gave a speech, although it was hard to hear what he was saying through all the crying. He did speak. Eric trump took the stage, Donald Trumps son. Donald trump jr. Said his dad was his best friend, which is sweet and a little sad. Instead his father taught him the value of hard work. I was watching this and i was imagining if my dad was running for president , and i had to give a speech about him. And i thought about it a long time. I think it would go Something Like this. Id say, my dad taught me, the most important thing he taught me, when someone offers you his finger ands and you to pl it, dont. Nothing good comes of it. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] but hes not going to be president. I will say, one of the things refers to him as donald j. Trump, like theres another donald trump we might potentially confuse him with. I guess adding j makes him sound more president ial . But ive thoroughly enjoyed everyone saying it. Donald j. Trump donald j. Trump. Donald j. Trump donald j. Trump donald j. Trump trump donald j. Trump. Donald j. Trump donald j. Trump. Donald j. Trump donald j. Trump donald j. Trump donald j. Trump jimmy come here, mom. Give me a hug. I dont know. The j is a big thing. And a lot of people dont realize, the j stands for jamal. A lot of people say donald j. Left cleveland and went straight to new york after his wife spoke, people think, but Chris Christie. Watch kind of in the background. You will see [ laughter ] it just seemed like he wasnt there because that had an orange background and he blended in. But he was the i think the most unusual comments were made by former trump rival dr. Ben carson. Speaking with the clarity and eloquence of a prominent brain surgeon who is successfully able to perform a lobotomy on himself. [ laughter ] he made a connection between Hillary Clinton and lucifer, the devil. [ laughter ] for real. Which by the way, nice job, ben. You spoiled their big announcement. Lucifer is the running mate. Thats how you feel the bern. But maybe even more interesting than that, dr. Carsons warning not to underestimate how damaging four years can be. We must also be wary of the narrative thats being advanced by some in our own party. The notion that a Hillary Clinton administration wouldnt be that bad, the effects would only be temporary. You know, that it would only last for four, and at most eight years. Theyre not godgiven brain to think about what theyre saying. Because it wont be four or eight years. Because she will be appointing people who will have an effect on us for generations, and america may never recover. Jimmy thats what he said about Hillary Clinton yesterday. This is what he said back in march about donald j. Trump. Even if donald trump turns out not to be such a great president , which i dont think is the case, i think hes going to surround himself with really but even if he didnt, were only looking at four years. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy interesting. I do want to say in defense of ben carson, a lot of people say crazy things when theyre talking in their sleep. A good thing they have a doctor there. A dozen members of the california delegation somehow contracted the norovirus at the convention and had to be quarantined. The norovirus, if you dont know, its uncontrollable vomiting and loss of bowel control. Which its basically what happens to Chris Christie every time he walks offstage after endorsing donald trump. [ laughter ] [ applause ] you probably know, donalds wife malaria trump Melania Trump [ laughter ] shes been accused of plagiarizing parts of Michelle Obamas speech for her speech. Everybody in the trump camp denied this. Then a staffer called marilyn, nobody knows where she is, took responsibility, she apologized and offered to resign. Her explanation is melania told her she admired miss obama, and that got confused and miss obamas words became a part of the speech basically the woman who wrote the things melania pretended to write, admitted she pretended to the thing melania pretended to right. Confusing. [ cheers and applause ] heres my defense of melania. Wheres she from . Slovenia. If you had to give a speech in sloveniaish, you might have to lift a few paragraphs in english too, okay . [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy lets go outside for thats guillermo. And guillermo is out on hollywood boulevard, armed with a barber chair, barber pole. And the electric razor. Its hot out there. Guillermo yeah, very hot, jimmy. Jimmy so tonight, to cool people off, guillermos going to give free summer haircuts. Okay . Are you a licensed barb barbertologist or whatever they call it . Guillermo not at all. Jimmy we did this once before, and there were no lawsuits. We decided to do it again. This is a person we met on the street today as a pedestrian. What is your name, sir . [ cheers and applause ] im sorry, i couldnt hear you. What is your name . Tyler. Jimmy where are you from . Michigan. Jimmy very good. You seem to have a lot of hair. I do. Jimmy are you proud of your hair . Sure. Jimmy okay. Are you ready to say goodbye to it . Yes. Jimmy what do you do for a living, may i ask . I work in the cannabis industry. Jimmy oh. So, we can test that hair afterwards, i guess, huh . It will not test clean. Jimmy so this is why you agreed to do this. Guillermo, what are you doing . Guillermo im trying to see where i will start. Jimmy oh, okay. I like that youre i want you to take it seriously and really try to give him a good haircut, okay . Try my best. Jimmy are you ready . Im ready. Jimmy guillermo, dig in there. I should ask, how much do you want off the top . Maybe we should have asked that first. I guess all of it. Jimmy yeah, i guess so. Oh, boy. Guillermo, you went real crazy. What number do you have that set on . Guillermo i think number 4. Jimmy guillermo that guillermo yeah, it does look good. Jimmy you keep doing that, well check back in later and see how tylers hair looks. The Republican National convention is a good place to hear people talk politics. And values and all that sort of thing. But for me theres one thing that brings me back year after year. And that is, white people dancing. The rnc is the worlds premier caucasian amateur dance festival. So as a tribute to those whose booties shook this week, highlight reel that says all that needs to be said. . White people dancing we love to clap and mix it up and snap . . We point like were nodding and then we do karate . . Sometimes a black friend will get in on the fun . . Yeah white people . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] oh, wow. You know what, it actually looks pretty good. I have to say. Okay, on closer inspection, it does not look that good. Yeah. All right. Well, have you seen it yet . In the mirror yet . Have you seen what has happened . Not yet, but i dont have high hopes. Jimmy guillermo take a look. Guillermo perfect, huh . Jimmy its a little bit uneven. Guillermo all right, let me fix it. Jimmy dont worry. I think we have some crazy glue here. We can put some of that back on. All right. That was pretty good. Guillermo, you finish up and well get somebody else in the chair. Guillermo sure, jimmy, whatever you say. Jimmy sorry about that, tyler. Think of all the money youll save on shampoo. All right, tyler is stunned. Well take a break. When we come back, i asked jeff ross, the roast master general roast members of the staff when they were working. And he did do that. And well give another haircut too, so stick around, well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] . This summer, tmobiles throwing a galaxy free for all. Right now get a free Samsung Galaxy for everyone in the family. And get 4 lines with 6 gigs each for just 30 bucks a line. Plus everybody gets unlimited streaming from their favorite services. Dont wait get a free Samsung Galaxy for everyone. The new chicken mcnuggets look fantastic made with 100 white meat chicken, no artificial preservatives, flavors and colors, crowd cheers and theyve done it the new chicken mcnuggets rightfully claim their gold this is the best day new schick hydro . Versus a lube strip. A hydrating gel reservoir that gives you 40 less friction. Its designed like no other razor to protect from irritation. Sorry, lube strip. Schick hydro . Create your own tour of italy is back starting at 12. 99, only at olive garden. Choose 3 of 9 of our favorite italian dishes to get everything you want, all on one plate. Plus unlimited salad and breadsticks. Hurry in and create your own tour. Offer ends sunday. Olive garden. [bell rings] is serious business. Especially on class picture day [dogs barking] youve gotta be responsible. Whoa and no matter what, be on time. Its no big deal for a second grader. Cat and jack uniforms. Guaranteed for one year. Well, look what we have here. Twelve hours . [laughing] let me get a selfie here. [phone ringing] whos calling me . [snoring] [vo]. But that hasnt stopped the sloth. Mmm hmm. If youre that stressed out you need to find a new job. No, you didnt. [phone alarm] oh my gosh, the bomb mm. That was close. The Samsung Galaxy s7 with our longest [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back to the show. Music from culture club is on the way. Lets go back out to hollywood boulevard, oh, no. Now, this is a bad idea. What is your name . My name is grace. Jimmy did you see the last guys haircut . Jimmy guillermo, you cant do this. I dont know, guillermo have you ever cut a womans hair before . Guillermo no, never. Jimmy okay. I think it would be better if Cara Delevingne takes over. [ cheers and applause ] cara, have you ever cut someones hair before . No. Jimmy okay. Do you think you will do a better job than guillermo did . No. Lady, do you have any ideas of how you might approach this . I think with my eyes closed might be fun. Jimmy you could lose an eyebrow. We dont want to do that. Tell me about yourself. Before we do this to your head. Im from florida, and i love stepping out of my comfort zone. Jimmy oh, well. Yeah. Maybe youll go into a manhole after this. [ laughter ] do you really love stepping out oh, yes. Thats why im doing this. Jimmy and do you trust cara to give you a good haircut . 100 . Jimmy okay, well. All right. Cara, get to work, lets see what you can did there. Lets tackle this. This way, right . Jimmy no okay, that oh, wow. Okay, were going yeah thats a good look right there. Oh, wow. I think im quitting my day job. This is my thing now. Jimmy well. Yeah. I guess so. I feel like there are going to be tears at the end. You know what . Well come back to you guys. You keep working and dont rush, take your time. Oh, i will. Jimmy all right, very good. Not only is cara with us, jeff ross is with us. Jeff, from the roasts on comedy presents roast battle on Comedy Central. His gift is making fun of people. Hes devoted his life to this. I challenged him to go around our office and roast unsuspecting staff members. While theyre at their desks. Of course he accepted our challenge. And here it is. Jeff ross roasts our office. Jeff ross, the roast master general. I want to get in full roast mode for roast battle. So i thought id try to roast people around the office at Jimmy Kimmel Live. Hey, guys. All right, whats going on, fellas . How you doing . Tupacs cousin, chicken pac. And Steven Seagal if he let himself go. Guillermo. Hey can i come in . Guillermo yeah, go ahead. I wanted to check out your office. Wow. Wow, its like trump built a wall around just you. Is this your fortress of siestatude . This is like a hostage video right now. Wheres jimmys office . Guillermo down here. Cane show you . Yeah. Oh, hi. Wow. Whats your job . Research. Can i get a window seat on delta . Jimmy, this guys watching james corden. Jimmy all right, let me have it. Yagreat to see you, everythings working out for jimmy yeah. Can i take a look around . Is this the window you jump out of when the ratings come in . Oh, looking great. Tonights monologue . Whos over here . Jimmy thats josh. How you doing, josh . Look, a jewish comedy writer, who would have guessed it. Jimmy how do you know hes me alone. This is ken, the producer of my segment tonight, this looks great. Whos your decorator, al qaeda . Like a pot doctor, if they raided you, you could be out here in five minutes. Ken, thank you for being my producer, even though youre dressed as a limo driver. Congrats on your death of a salesman suit collection. What do you do . Casting. Casting, wow. You look like amy winehouse, if she went to rehab. Wow. Better get out. Wow, i find a pokemon. What are you here for, to watch better shows . How do you get to work every day, follow the yellow brick road . That looks great. I never met a dinklage before. Oh my gosh. Hi, gary. Hey, jeff ross. Wow. Look at this place. Where do you shop . Got a dishonorable discharge from the Salvation Army . This is great, ive never been on hoarders before. Hi, jill. How are you . Wow. Wow, look at this office. This is amazing. Is this where the rams are supposed to play . Anyway, want to [ bleep ] on a desk . I love the way your boobs bounce up and down when you laugh. No, im talking to sal. I like your shirt. I didnt realize you worked as a pharmacist during the day. You went too far. No, no no stop, stop say uncle say cousin Say Something no im not giving in thats my best hat stop youve got to be able to take a being a good sport is essential to roasting i never roast people unless they volunteer [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you, jeff. Lets check back in with cara and guillermo. Oh, wow. Hey, you know what it looks oh, no. Oh, wow. Wow. Are you going to keep it like that . The before and after is quite a sight. O jimmy well, i believe cara would accept a tip if you have any money in your purse. That looks beautiful. Great job, cara. And we have a special something for you, just in case you dont like it. A make America Great again hat. Very cute, there we go. Thanks, cara. Thanks, guillermo. First of all, sitting in tonight, Peter Tickell is with us on the violin. Hey, youre clarence yes, sir. You know, at the model year end clarence event, you can get a great deal on this 2016 passat. Steve. Yeah . Clarence is on a roll. Yeah. I wish theyd name an event after me. Same here. But the model year end becky event . Stevent thats just vandalism. Whatever you want to call it, dont miss the volkswagen model year end event. Hurry in for a onethousand dollar volkswagen reward card and 0 apr on a new 2016 passat. Mmm this ham is great. See, we can agree. Out what . That was in finally, something the whole family can agree on. Oscar mayer deli fresh ham made with why be in the kitchen when you can be in the moment . Olive garden now offers catering delivery. We make the food and deliver it to your door. Jimmy there we go. Thats Peter Tickell sitting in with the cletones on violin. Hes on tour with sting and Peter Gabriel. Cleto and i saw the show sunday night. You were so phenomenal we said, weve got to get this guy on the show, so thanks for coming. [ cheers and applause ] you do you like better, sting or Peter Gabriel . I cant really comment on that. Jimmy but you have somebody in mind . When i ask the question . I like them both equally. Musicians. Jimmy all right. Tonight, hes got a new show called jeff ross presents roast battle premiering next thursday night on Comedy Central, jeff ross is here. [ cheers and applause ] then, all the way from london, they are on their first world tour in more than 15 years, culture club from the samsung outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] because we missed them. Tomorrow, Viggo Mortensen will be here, george lopez will join us, and well hear music from colin hay, and our friend jake byrd crashed the Republican National convention. We will have the results oth our first guest tonight is a modelturnedactress with 31 million followers on instagram, and magic powers you will not believe. Starting august 5th she stars alongside will smith, jared leto, and Margot Robbie in suicide squad. Enchantress. Meet the enchantress. Everything we know about her is in your briefing packs. She has walked this earth for a very long time and will likely be here when wore long gone. This meeting is now a magic show . Magic or not, this girl can do some pretty incredible things. Go get it, girl. Jimmy please say hello to Cara Delevingne [ cheers and applause ] . Jimmy great to see you. I always forget about the european thing with the two kisses. I was waiting. Jimmy you really seemed to enjoy cutting that womans hair. There we go. That haircut. I didnt know. I didnt know that was going to happen. It just glided through. Jimmy did you decide to give her the pigtails on the side . Or was that her . I was going to leave the front, but guillermo screwed it up. Jimmy right, right. I went with it. Im sorry, dude. I didnt mean to dog you. Jimmy he is unlicensed. Its very good to see you. Im not, clearly. Jimmy i know you have a number of tattoos. I wanted to ask you about one in particular. This really attracted me, i will admit it. Put that up on the screen. Ths on the bottom of your foot, thats real, right . [ cheers and applause ] does this refer to the bacon we have for breakfast, or Francis Bacon . Or some other bacon thing . Any bacon is good. Am i right . I think so. Its also baconcolored. Its maroon as well, and dot dot dot, an openended however you want to take it. Its also scratch and sniff. Jimmy really . Your feet smell like bacon. I wish. Jimmy and im getting on the fact that you have a bacon tattoo you are not jewish . Yes. Jimmy thats like a double whammy. Im trying to become a vegetarian. Jimmy are you . Maybe ill make it veggie bacon. I live bacon but i love animals. Jimmy do they make veggie bacon . I guess they probably do. Clearly, you love bacon. Jimmy i like regular bacon, from the pig. Yeah well from the old pig. Yeah. How do you like it cooked, crpy, medium . Crispy. Sometimes raw, if i want to lose some weight. Im kidding. Back in my modeling days no, no. Chris christie jimmy i saw suicide s