Crystal geyser. Bottled at the mountain source. Da da da. Here she is now, ellen degeneres. [cheers and applause] ellen all right. I appreciate it. I like you. I like you. Thank you so much. Have a seat, or not, whatever youd like to do. Its your time. Thank you very much. Back at you, all of you. If this is your first time to the show, welcome to the studio. This is the performance area here and i do the interviews over there. Behind the curtain is my rec room. [laughter] somebody saw 50 shades of grey this weekend. I love real estate. People love. That i love to buy houses. I love to sell houses. When i order a drink, id like it to be on the house. [laughter] i always want to know what houses are out there. You have to know how to read the real estate listings. They put in things that seem positive and theyre not. Since i know a few things about homesable the creator of hgtvs ellens design challenge mondays at 9 00. [cheers and applause] oh, thank you. I thought i would point out a few things to watch for when you are buying a house. Lets look at the first one right here. 2 bedroom 2 bath condo with potential. [laughter] look out for the word potential. Potential means that the yellow mold could potentially grow into black mold. [laughter] one of a kind 5 bedroom house. Red flag. The builder never made another one because hes in prison, okay . Hes been sued and cant make another one. And what i would look at, who needs a 2 bedroom house with 5 bathrooms. You dont need a house. You need a doctor. [laughter] you dont need that many bathrooms. Two people in there. Cozy studio apartment. Cozy means teeny tiny. If you are a person that prefers to sit in the middle seat on an airplane, this is for you. And heres something that seems good. Its 3 bedroom, 2 bathhouse, seller motivated. That means that this house is currently on fire. [laughter] he wants to sell quickly. And very quickly, classic means old. Retro means old. Original means old. Good bones, old bones. Newer, about to be old. [laughter] the er on the end. And i hope that helps you if you are looking for a house. Right now, i will use my good bones for this dance. [cheers and applause] ellen thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you so much. So i made reference to something in the movie. How much of you saw 50 shades of grey this weekend. [cheers and applause] you saw it, claudia . Of course you did. How many of you cant raise your hands because theyre tied up . [laughter] it made like 1 billion. It made so much. And everyone is talking about it. Last week i showed a clip from the today show where matt lauer seemed to be a little too into the movie. Thats definitely the idea, yeah. Yeah. Thank you, sir. [laughter] ellen apparently today show viewers thought it was real and this is happening now. People actually thought you came to work dressed like that or changed at some point into that ensemble. I wasnt in that outfit people believed that you might wear Something Like that to work. No. I started tweeting out yesterday that it was just a video edit. It was a joke on the part of ellen. Ellen all right. [cheers and applause] im sorry. Matt lauer, i love you. That was just a joke. Im so sorry. I want to come clean. We did doctor that a tiny bit. Heres a clip from this mornings today show thats totally real. A check of the weather now. Once we get through this storm over monday, i wish i didnt have to talk about this now. Monday morning, heavy winds to the south. An icy mist is coming in. [applause] ellen real. 100 real. It seemed to be riding up his cheek or something. [laughter] he was fixing it. Heres Something Else that seems fake but its real, the bachelor. Are you watching the bachelor . [cheers and applause] this week it was on sunday and monday, so it was like two days of the bachelor and its exhausting to watch. Its exhausting for the bachelor himself. I was curious to see what you are feeling about it. [sighs] [applause] ellen another show people are talking about is the slap on nbc. Did you see it aired once already. I dont want to say the producers stole my idea, but they stole my idea. They knew i was coming out with a similar show, but mine is better because its not one slap. Its many, many slaps. Its called slaps. Theirs is the slap. Mine is slaps. This is mine. Shes americas sweetheart. Adored by mill yaonz of fans, but sometimes she goes too far. And the slapping does not stop. Stop it. [laughter] slaps also on nbc. [applause] ellen another real thing. All real. Weve covered television. Heres some web videos i want to share with you. This cat makes me laugh so much, its an angry face and i like these cats because they have angry faces. Very mischievous. Shes filming. She knows something will happen. Its her cat. The remote and, uhoh. Shes filming. I dont know what shes thinking. No, no, no. [laughter] ellen shes going to do it. [cheers and applause] heres a kid that loves the song bang bang. Got a bootie like a cadillac i can put you into overdrive bad for you you need a good girl to blow your mind bang bang into the room bang bang all over you wait a minute let me take you there let me take you bang bang [cheers and applause] ellen excellent dancing. I saw that. I have four words bring him to me. Andy, do we have too many for one more . Yeah. Ellen are you sure . Do we for sure have time . Yes. Ellen now i feel like i wasted too much time. Should i start . Are you sure we have time . [laughter] all right. Heres a woman. Shes really good at kickboxing. Very impressive, right . Impressive. Also dangerous, though. Can i show what happens if are you sure . All right. This is the rest of the video we got ahold of and she should pay more attention because look what happened. [applause] real. 100 real. All real. All right. If you have a video youd like me to see, upload it to ellentube. Well be back. Believe me, i put this hair through a lot every day. Loreals total repair 5 shampoo system fights 5 signs of damage. My hair feels strong and look at this shine 5 problems, 1 solution. Loreal total repair 5 shampoo. Thats the power of beautiful hair. Every day. Whats in my snuggle scent boosters . Lavender joy a long lasting scent each pac is a big boost of freshness. Little pac, big snifference snuggle scent boosters before i had the shooting, burning, pinsandneedles of diabetic nerve pain, these feet grew up in a family of boys. Married my high school sweetheart. And pursued a degree in education. But i couldnt bear my diabetic nerve pain any longer. So i talked to my doctor and she prescribed lyrica. Nerve damage from diabetes causes diabetic nerve pain. Lyrica is fdaapproved to treat this pain. Lyrica may cause serious allergic reactions or suicidal thoughts or actions. Tell your doctor right away if you have these, new, or worsening depression or unusual changes in mood or behavior. Or swelling, trouble breathing rash, hives, blisters, muscle pain with fever, tired feeling, or blurry vision. Common side effects are dizziness, sleepiness, weight gain and swelling of hands, legs and feet. Dont drink alcohol while taking lyrica. Dont drive or use machinery until you know how lyrica affects you. Those who have had a drug or alcohol problem may be more likely to misuse lyrica. Now i have less diabetic nerve pain. And i love helping first graders put their best foot forward. Ask your doctor about lyrica. Ellen i would like it read you a letter. Im getting married in september. And all i want to do is see you for my Bachelorette Party. I have six bridesmaids. I love everything about your show. I watch it every day. Seeing the show would top my wedding day, but dont tell him. Is there any way you could get me tickets . I appreciate it. You are an inspiration. I strive to do great things like you. We skyped with cassie watts and her bridesmaids and offered them tickets and theyre here now. Come on down. [cheers and applause] this will be tricky with this necklace. I can take it off. Ellen dont. You look beautiful. First of all, thank you for all that. And im glad that you love the show that much. Why did you want to celebrate here with your friends . Where do i begin . I feel like ive been to every Bachelorette Party and you go to vegas, tahoe, but ive been watching you for 10 years. Ellen weve been on for 12, but go ahead. [laughter] sorry. Ellen im kidding. Ive been watching you forever and i just have an inhome daycare and during nap time or at theened of the day if i have to record it if its crazy, you bring my sanity back. Ellen the kids should watch them, too. I want do get them younger. You come on at 4 00, which is right around the time they wake up. So sometimes i will start waking them on and turn you on and we start dancing. Ellen thank you so much. Huh a road trip down here, right . Yes. Ellen we took two cars and the girls decorated my car. It said ellen or bust. Yep. I want you to have your Bachelorette Party here. So you will need some things. Andy, will you bring out some things to make it more bachelorettey . [cheers and applause] you have a tiara and cocktails are coming over here. Oh, my gosh [cheers and applause] ellen you arent driving. You cant sit here because we have guests. I will show you where you will watch the show for the rest of the time. Oh, my gosh [cheers and applause] ellen dont drop that. Dont put it down. Thank you so much. Ellen are you excited about this . Yes ellen somebodys in my bushes. Whos in my bush es . I dont know. [cheers and applause] ellen hi, nick. Hi. Nick is like, you are so overdressed. Why are you so overdressed . Im sorry, but i still feel like somebodys in my bushes. Are there other people in the bushes . [cheers and applause] ellen nick, escort cassie over. Thank you so much. Ellen go with nick. [cheers and applause] hold on to nick. Well be back. Of the deadly balcony collapse. Vo now, the berkely mayor offers his theory about a possible cause of the tragedy. Take vo plus, the warriors return to a heroes welcome. And now were learning much more about the victory parade. Sot we really worried he was going to start having liver problems the vet said. Take vo then at 6. Pot for pets . Why a local woman says medical marijuana saved her dog. Close today at 5 and 6 on nbc bay area news. Ellen all right. This sunday our next guest is nominated for an Academy Award for her brilliant work in the imitation game. Please welcome keira knightly. [cheers and applause] playing my husbands music when i come out. Ellen congratulations on everything. Well talk about the film in a minute. I loved you and benedict and its just beautiful. Thank you very much. Thank you. Ellen youre welcome. Thank you. Thank you for being here. And you are with child. Congratulations. Yeah. Thanks. [cheers and applause] i love that you got me out after the strippers. Get the pregnant woman out here. [laughter] ellen did you have a Bachelorette Party . Yes. I dont remember much about it, but i assume it was great. I dont think i had any strippers. Ellen no . Maybe i need another after this comes out. Ellen you cant drink right now, obviously or you shouldnt be if you are. I know, no. I cant drink. Im up for an oscar and cant drink at the oscars. I went to the doctor you have lots of checkups. And she said, any questions . I said, when can i drink . I just want a margarita. Ellen its one thing to be pregnant and you cant drink, but the oscars is a party atmosphere, everything about it, win or lose, you want to drink. Its true. My husbands having a great time. Im eating for two and hes drinking for two. Ellen i saw a picture of him at the bar. Does he just hang out another at bar . Yeah. There he is, drink in hand. Yeah, no, hes theres a lot of free champagne and he thinks because im not drinking it he has to, all of it, because its free. You really do have to. Ellen this is the first time that hes been to the awards with you, right . Yeah. Ellen did he come before . No. Im pulling pregnant lady, you have to come with me. Ellen what do you mean you have to come with me. Theyre fun. I think hes loving it. He gets to wear nice suits. Hes enjoying that. Ellen hes a handsome guy. I love the way he looks. Thank you. Ellen being pregnant, i know from talking to so many people that have been pregnant, there are people that give you advice and guess if its a boy or a girl. Do you know if its a by boy or a girl . No. Do you want to guess . Ellen boy. I always say boy. I have a 5050 shot. Somebody said it was a girl because im carrying that way and you are saying boy because you are carrying it this way. Ellen i think its a boy. Its definitely there, isnt it . Apart from the problem with boys, when you change their nappies you can get the wee in your face. I never knew that. Ellen were in america. Let me translate. Nappy is a diaper and wee is pee. [laughter] yeah. I forget we speak different languages. Ellen i understood it because i speak both, english and american. They will sometimes wee in your face. Yeah, that doesnt seem fun. No. Ellen you only have two hands. You cant like and apparently they roll. So you have to stop them as you grab Something Else to stop them peeing in your face. So that sounds interesting. I dont know what im going to do about that. I will keep you posted. Ellen please do. I will want to hear about that a lot. And then someone asked you if there was a birth plan. Theres a birthing plan. What is the plan apart from trying to get it out . Theres not an option to keep it in. Ellen you should plan something. I dont know when you are due. My plan is that it will come out. Ellen you dont have to plan that. That will happen. I dont need a birth plan then. Ellen back in the day, people would have a child in the fields and just drop it out and keep working. Thats my plan. Ellen so you can be on set and keep working. Exactly. Cameras would be awful. Ellen that would be great. If you drop the strippers back in, i could probably just go. Ellen really . No. Ellen if we were in sweeps this is your second oscar nomination. Is it better because you know whats happening or more relaxed or does this take all the, this is more of a priority now . I think im pretty relaxed. I had an amazing dress last time. It was very, very tight. It was so tight that i could not sit down. Once i sat down, i cannot get up myself. I had it fitted only when i was standing up and i didnt think about the whole sitting down thing. So when i needed to stand up, my brother had to wench me out the seat. Ellen its so funny that women dont plan for that. I see that all the time. You put a dress on but you dont sit down to see what it feels like. Its a threehour show. So you are cutting off circulation to your legs