Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20170711

Roots crew. Questlove 681 west virgina. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh hi oh my goodness thank you so much. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, to the tonight show. This is it baby [ cheers and applause ] youre here, you made it well, heres what people are talking about everybody, President Trump is still on his big trip overseas, and so that he actually took over an entire hotel in jerusalem. [ laughter ] mary and joseph were like seriously, you make room for that guy . [ laughter and applause ] i mean, we came all the way from bethlehem. [ applause ] today, trump left israel and headed for rome, the third stop on his trip. You can tell trumps tired because when his staff told him, the next stop was rome, hes said, please tell me thats scoobydoo talk for home. [ laughter ] rome, rome . Steve zoinks, scooby. Jimmy this is pretty big. Tomorrow trump will visit with the pope. Trump said hes really excited, because hes always wanted to meet jude law. [ laughter and applause ] steve thats not jimmy while hes in italy, trump will meet with the pope and the italian president. Believe it or not, he said hes more looking forward to the food. He even released a video to show off his knowledge about pasta. Take a look at this. This is donald j. Trump. I know so much about italy, more than anyone. And ive eaten all types of their pasta. For instance, ive had gnocchi. [ light laughter ] bachelorette. Turtle martini. Papa johns deli. Pini. And my personal favorite, macarena. [ applause ] jimmy i dont know, i think his pronunciation is off a a little bit. Steve i think hes off on those. I think its penne. I dont think its pini. Jimmy i think it is. [ light laughter ] steve you think it is . Jimmy mmhmm. Meanwhile, trump just released his new budget proposal. And Bernie Sanders says his cuts to medicaid are just cruel. Yeah, but bernie will get his medicine the same way he has always, finding an old pill in his suit pocket. [ laughter and applause ] yesterday, education secretary betsy devos said that people who oppose School Choice are flat earthers. [ light laughter ] she was like, which is ridiculous, because everyone knows the earth is a cube. [ laughter and applause ] pini. Guys, last night was the season premiere of the bachelorette. Did you see it . [ cheers ] i love that show. I love you guys saw it, but one of the guys actually lists his job as tickle monster. [ light laughter ] last night we finally got to meet him. Take a look at this, guys. Can i have you open your hands and hold em out like this . Okay. Hold them a little further. And then can i ask you to close your eyes for just a second . Oh no, im scared. [ laughter ] i wanted to make sure you you had at least one good laugh tonight. [ laughter ] jimmy she was like, now now hold your hands out and watch me not put a rose in it. [ laughter and applause ] tickle guy tickle monster . Steve god. Jimmy well its so many interesting characters last night. It was legendary. [ light laughter ] its insane. We showed this guy last week on our show, his name is lucas, but he also goes by the name waboom. [ laughter ] well, youll see why. He likes to yell waboom. Yeah, i got the tshirt with his steve yeah. Jimmy like, a cartoon of him as anyways, check him out last night. Youll see. If you want a glimpse of it . I can give it to you now. Waaabooom. Waaaaaaboooom. So a, 10, five, eight, or 11 . 11. 11 . All right, ready . Waaaaa [ laughter ] jimmy i love it. I love it [ applause ] he seems pretty crazy, but im sure things calmed down during the rose ceremony. Lucas. Waaaaaboom. Steve come on. Jimmy oh, my goodness. Yeah, no it is real. [ light laughter ] that is that really happened. Steve oh, my gosh. Jimmy at one point another contestant, named blake e. Confronted lucas about all of his wabooms. If you missed it, dont worry because here to reenact that scene with actual lines from the show [ cheers ] are the roots own, tariq and questlove [ cheers and applause ] questlove thanks, jimmy. Tonight, i will be playing blake e. , a 31yearold aspiring drummer from marina del rey, california, whos questioning lucas motives. Tariq and i will be playing lucas. 30yearold from woodside, california who lists his profession as waboom. [ light laughter ] jimmy great, whenever you are ready. [ light laughter ] questlove youre really here to try to find love with rachel . Tariq i mean what are you here for bro, are you really here to find love with rachel . Questlove i mean, im here for the potential to find love with rachel. Tariq yeah, right, but, thats a canned answer. Questlove well, at least im not wearing my catch phrase on a shirt. [ laughter ] tariq dude, are you are you challenging my waboom . Everyone has a little waboom in em. Questlove i have no waboom in me. [ laughter ] tariq yes, you do. Come on, man, try it. Waaaaabooom [ laughter and applause ] questlove no thanks [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that is what im talking about everybody. They were great. Questlove and tariq everyone. Thank you, guys. Thats more than enough. Thats more more than enough. Thank you very much. More than enough. Steve waboom. Jimmy oh, waboom, i love it. Finally guys, a new report, found that Legal Marijuana brought in more money last year than Girl Scout Cookies did. [ cheers ] so to be fair, girl scouts cookies wouldnt have made as much money if it werent for marijuana. So i mean [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots once again [ cheers and applause ] jimmy guys, weve got a a great show tonight. From the big new summer movie, wonder woman wonder woman herself, gal gadot is here, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, how bout that. Gal and i are going head to head in a game of box of lies. Steve oh. [ audience ohs ] jimmy oh, yeah, well see yeah. Plus, were so psyched to have him here tonight, a legend, the one and only, Barry Manilow is on the show. [ cheers and applause ] this is my town. Songs of new york hes a a brooklyn boy. So, its great to have him here. Cant wait to talk to him. Hes the best. Guys, its time to take a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. Its time for pros and cons, here we go. Pros and cons and pros and cons and pros [ cheers and applause ] jimmy tonight, well be taking a look at the pros and cons of the new season of the bachelorette. [ cheers ] season 13 kicked off last night, with a whole new cast of crazy suitors looking for love. So, lets take a look at the pros and cons of the new season of the bachelorette. Here we go. Pro, every week someone else gets sent home. [ light laughter ] con . Just like the trump administration. Well there you go [ applause ] steve you never know. Waboom. Jimmy waboom. [ laughter ] steve wallboom jimmy wallboom . Steve yeah, thats what he said, before he fired somebody. Jimmy youre terminated. Wallboom. Steve wallboom. Go in your room. Jimmy this is a pro, living happily ever after. Con, until youre contractually obligated to have a public breakup. Well, that seems reasonable. [ applause ] those are the rules. Those are the rules. Pro, saying will you accept this rose . Con, meaning youre crazy, but the producer said you make good tv, so your safe another week, you nut job. [ applause ] pro, having to choose between 28 great guys. Con, as well as an aspiring drummer, a tickle monster, and this guy. I dont want to come across as the guy that talks about his penis, but how many women have told me about the amazingness of my penis. [ laughter and applause ] steve whatboom. [ light laughter ] jimmy pro, giving roses to contestants named iggy and diggy. Con, having to eliminate huey, dewey, and louie. Oh, well theyll be theyll be fine. [ laughter and applause ] steve theyll be better off. Their uncles super rich. Jimmy pro, one of the contestants brought a doll made to look like him. [ audience oohs ] con, or like the host of the tonight show. Hey, wait a second. [ laughter and applause ] steve there you go, emo hair. Jimmy i dont look like that. [ laughter ] steve come on. Jimmy finally, pro, watching 31 guys compete for one common goal. Con, becoming the next bachelor. There you go everybody. Thats your pros and cons. Well be right back with gal gadot everybody, come on back. [ cheers and applause ] im going to take they sky jet. Out out get get get grrr did you find everything okay, sir . Whaaaaat . In new herbal essences its bio renew a blend of sea kelp, aloe and antioxidants that help bring your hair back to life. New herbal essences. Let life in. Degree ultracleardorant black white. S of clothes. No yellow stains on white clothes. No white marks on black clothes. Degree ultraclear black white. 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Crave van [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you know our first guest from such movies as fast and furious and batman v superman. Now you can see her in the big new summer blockbuster film wonder woman, which is in theaters and imax 3d on june 2nd. Ladies and gentleman, here she is, gal gadot. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thanks for being here. I didnt know if we were bowing, hugging, hivefiving, or doing both. Everything. Jimmy now before we play box of lies, i want to get in your head a little bit. I want to get to know you better. I want to see if youre lying about anything or how well you are at lying. All right. Jimmy i dont know much about you. Okay. Jimmy i know of you. Okay. Jimmy you are wonder woman. Yes. Seems to be. Jimmy this is a big this is a big deal. You know its this, i wake up every morning and telling myself no. I was lucky enough to land the role of wonder woman. Yes. Jimmy did you has it sunken in yet . Because i mean theres a a giant billboard in times square thats bigger of you. I know. I went there last night. Jimmy did you really . We just got here last night. We went straight to times square and it was just surreal. Jimmy you looked at it . You could not take it in. Its like me. Im from israel from this small city and all of a sudden im all over times square. Its just its insane. Jimmy because i was reading and i think that the story i heard is that you were almost considering giving up acting before. True. Yeah. Yeah, i had so this profession, the rejection. Oh, dude, its tough. Jimmy its a tough business. So its just tough. You know. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah. Yes. Have you guys seen my movie . Yeah. [ laughter ] thank you for rubbing it in. You did well. You did pretty well. Jimmy yeah, i ended up okay. No, but i had so many almost and another camera test and it was almost mine and another role and another role and i was like telling my husband, im not sure how long i can take it. Dragging my family to los angeles. Jimmy yep. Doing this on the same trip we were in los angeles, i got a phone call from zach snyder who wanted to audition me for this secret role. Jimmy secret role. I was like, okay, sure. You know, ill do that. Jimmy what does that mean . Do you even have lines . How do you audition for a a secret role . You have lines. You have lines. You get the lines. Jimmy from the lines did you know what it was . You have lines, but you have no idea what the story is about. Whos the character. Nothing. Jimmy well, what are you saying . What are the lines that youre saying . Like, get down . [ laughter ] would you like me to say get down, jimmy . [ laughter ] jimmy no. I know. What do you do . I can say it, if you like. I can say it. Get down. Get down. [ laughter ] jimmy no, thats it . I didnt think about that. That was great. [ laughter ] you got the part but did you know if youre supposed to be an american or oh, i did not know anything. Honestly, i just got the sides. Did the audition. Zach is a wonderful man. We sets i did the audition. It went great. Went back to israel to shoot an israeli movie and i didnt know if i want to wanted to continue acting afterwards. Anyway, im in israel, i get a a phone call. They tell me that they wanted to do a camera test. Im like, again. Camera test. Again another, almost almost. Jimmy right. So youre ready to and then like, okay. Whatever. What am i being tested for . Whats the part . And then my agent goes, they didnt tell you . Im like, no. So no one knows what am i jimmy yeah, what am i gonna be . Am i whats the big deal . Jimmy what am i . Yeah, who am i . Yeah. So anyways, zach calls me two days later. And hes like, i dont know if you have this character in israel. If shes big or not but did you ever hear about wonder woman . I was like [ laughter ] wonder woman, yeah, yeah. Okay. Ill be there. [ light laughter ] jimmy did you talk to anybody about this . When you got it . When i got the part . Jimmy yeah. I was sitting in an airplane. I just landed. I was by myself, i just landed in los angeles. Open my phone, 20 missed phone calls from my agent. Im like calling back. Jimmy its good news. I forgot about that. Ive been waiting for six weeks. I already think that the part is not mine. [ bleep ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy now [ laughter ] you almost didnt get the part. [ laughter ] and then i was sitting, this entire flight, its a long flight. 15 hours from tel aviv to los angeles. Jimmy sure. I was sitting next to this professor. He tried tried, really hard to teach me about the quantum theory. [ light laughter ] super interesting though very complicated. Jimmy he what . He wanted to talk about quantum physics . The entire flight we were talking about quantum physics. Jimmy are you that sounds like the worst thing i could ever think of. Really good professor, it was actually pretty interesting. Jimmy oh, i would put headphones on. I would go, i am so sorry. I got to listen to something. Quantum physics. And then we landed, i open the phone. Missed call, call my agent. The part is yours. Youre wonder woman, but you cant say anything to anyone. And i go, oh my god, oh my god oh my god and this guy is next to me and everyone are looking at me like it was a lot louder. I sounded it was yeah [ laughter ] it was ah was like masculine voice. I am so sorry. I am so excited to be here but ive been talking nonstop. Jimmy no, thats why its a a talk show. I want you to talk. Okay, i talk. [ light laughter ] good evening, everyone. Jimmy you just cant say the fword. Thats all. Everything else. [ laughter ] talk about anything. You just cant thats the only thing you cant do. And then and then he was like, whats going on . Because we became friends, right . Jimmy of course. So i hope youre watching professor quantum physics. [ laughter ] thats what happened. I couldnt say anything. Jimmy you couldnt so he probably youre just excited about learning so much about quantum physics. Exactly. Jimmy oh my god oh my god thank you for telling me this theory. No black holes. Jimmy if you are watching, yes. Thats what happened. You were sitting next to wonder woman the whole time. [ cheering and applause ] thats a great story. Thank you so much. Jimmy and, you have two you have two children, right . You have a fiveyearold. And what is the how old is the baby . Two months. Jimmy so the baby the baby was shes so small. Jimmy the baby was actually in wonder woman. She was. Jimmy right, because we did some addition photography. Yeah, she was in my belly. Jimmy how did they how did they how did they get around shooting that . That was that was really funny. They did everything in close ups and some of it was, you know, wide shots and they cut this huge triangle. Green kermit triangle. Jimmy kermit the frog . Exactly. So you see me do whatever i am being super tough and everything. And then i go to check play back. And you see its starts like super close and then it opens up. And then you see me super serious but with a belly. [ laughter ] it was very amusing. Jimmy i hope theres a a picture of that somewhere. Patty jenkins, the director . Patty jenkins. Jimmy who did monster and also did the killing, which i loved. [ cheers and applause ] very talented. Very. Jimmy this is more of an origin story for wonder woman, right . It is. Jimmy so, i want to show a a clip. Here is gal gadot in wonder woman. Take a look at this. [ indistinct shouting ] stay here, ill go ahead. Jimmy woo thats what im talking about right there. [ cheers and applause ] all right. Now now ive gotten to know you. Now i know you and i see whats up. And im ready to play box of lies. Gal and i are playing when we come right back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] what are all these different topped loaded meals . Its an american favorite on top of an american favorite, alice. Its mozzarella sticks on top of grilled chicken. Its cajun shrimp on top of steak. Its Labor Day Weekend on top of the fourth of july. Hotdogs. Its abe lincoln on top of george washington. Yonder. Its rodeos on top of rollercoasters. Its favorites on favorites, alice. Its very moving. Get your favorites on top of your favorites. Only at applebees. Get your favorites on top of your favorites. were proud to reveal that jim beam black has been awarded the worlds highest rated bourbon. Their words, not ours. Make history. make history. Do you remember when i took your [photo this morning . , [boy] yea [intern] im afraid i have some terrible news. You have. Bug eyes here come the bugs ahh bugs everywhere uh oh, this little buggy got a lasagna. When you switch to progressive. Winds stirring. Too treacherous for a selfie. [ camera shutter clicks ] sure, ive taken discounts to new heights with safe driver and paperless billing. But the prize at the top is worth every last breath. Here we go. [ grunts ] got em. Ahh. Wait a minute. Whole wheat waffles . [ crying ] why wait a minute. Whole wheat waffles . Oh, my love my darlin ive hungered for your touch papa, hola ive hungered for your touch no, no no, no no no ill be coming home, wait for me cindy, you dont evenno dress. Ress. Uhuh, youre not going anywhere in those rags. Cindy . Introducing an allnew crossover, toyota chr. Toyota. Lets go places. The sixdollar footlong subway club® with turkey, black forest ham and roast beef. On the right. The sweet onion chicken teriyaki dripping in sweet onion sauce. Two footlongs enter. None leave, cause you ate them. The sweet onion chicken teriyaki and the subway club. Theyre footlongs. And theyre six bucks each. Subway®. So much sandwich. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody. I am here with gal gadot. [ cheers and applause ] her new movie, won

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