Nope not in there. Oh its under the lard. Sorry its under the ladder no, i thought it was down there. Oh, i know exactly where it is. I keep it behind the mirror crashing, breaking glass sounds huh, its not in there. Wait a second it was in my pocket the whole time. Sorry good luck, cubbies cheers and applause tonight, stephen welcomes Nicholas HoultJohn Turturro bret baier a performance by young greatness featuring jon batiste and stay human and now its time for the late show with Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey hey cheers and applause thanks everybody hello cheers and applause welcome to the late show. Whoo cheers and applause thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. Wow that is a lovely crowd everybody feeling all right tonight . Doing good . What . No . I heard a no. Hey, heres somebody not feeling that great. Remember that brexit thing . Well, the guy whos fault it is, british Prime Minister david cameron, resigned yesterday, and i think he feels good about the decision. I expect to go to the palace to offer my resignation. So well have a new Prime Minister, in that building behind me, by wednesday evening. Thank you very much. singing doot doooo, doo doo. Right. Stephen doo doo doo byebye sucks to be you byebye Doo Doo Doo DooDoo Doo Doo Doo doo doo right now lets get these trousers off and start the spanking machine ive been a very naughty Prime Minister i havent seen someone so happy to quit their job since speaker of the house john boehner arrived to announce he was stepping down. Zipadeedoodah, zipadeeay, my, oh my, what a wonderful day. laughter stephen what is it about trying to govern the western world right now that makes our leaders race for the exits with a song in their heart . What do they know that we dont . I mean, in just a few months they could be working with president tru oh. Jon whoa, whoa whoa stephen all right. You guys watch the bachelorette . cheering im a big fan. Theres nothing more beautiful than a woman finding her true love amongst two dozen greasedup meat slabs. laughter shaved and greased. Then lowered into their suits. Of course, the show is known for its racy antics, and last nights episode delivered when jojo took alex to argentina. Look how connected they are. Ive never seen this. Seeing this man work with this horse. Im watching him stroke this animal. Slowly this horse just starts to give into him. Stephen cmon, man. laughter you know the rules. Youre supposed to wait until the fantasy stable and lest you think alex and jojo were feeling left out, dont worry after that gaucho put his horse in the mood, everybody saddled up. Right now, right here, im feeling perfect. I feel the way that i think love is supposed to feel. whinny laughter applause stephen dear god buy a gal some oats first look at the poor horse. Its thinking, for the love of god, turn me into glue. I think my leg just broke. Shoot me. By the way, she broke up with audience reacts i foe. Its sad isnt it . Its sad that you care. laughter now say hi to jon batiste and stay human, everybody stephen oh cheers and applause stephen well, folks ive got a quick programming note before i go any further. The Republican National convention is next week. Quick programming note the late show will be live every single night. So tune in for a mockery of our political system and then watch the late show cheers and applause of course, conventions mean that the primary season has finally come to an end. What a long, strange trip its been. We in the media have enjoyed every minute of this knockdown, dragout fight, reveling in the political fisticuffs like its some kind of vicious blood sport like its the hunger games. No, its worse than that. Its. The hungry for power games cheers and applause yes ha ha welcome to the hungry for power games tributes, assemble clap clap oh, so few remain. But the bar is closing and america has to go home with someone. Do you remember when the candidates numbered 23 . Hello. Hi. Back then you couldnt swing a dead cat without hitting one and one of the candidates was a dead cat. We miss you, senator tummyfuzz still did better than bobby jindal. But, ah, friends. Sadly, today we lost the bravest tribute of all. A man who we actually lost months ago, but who courageously kept pretending not to be dead because, today, Bernie Sanders endorsed hillary clinton. Secretary clinton has won the democratic nominating process. huge applause and i congratulate her for that. Stephen yes he congratulates her for that very convincing endorsement. Reminded me of another man who forced himself to endorse a coronation in hopes of healing a rift. Geoffrey baratheon is the rightful and true heir to the iron throne. Stephen bernie, dont forget to duck. Youll notice the slogan on the podium was stronger together, because bernie rejected hillarys original idea its about bleep time. laughter applause so it has finally come to pass cheers and applause so, Bernie Sanders has fallen, and like many seniors, he cannot get up. laughter oh, bernie, you were a worthy adversary of we, the elite. And in your honor, im going to eat your name in caviar. laughter mmmmmm, mmm mmmmmm mmm mmm, mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm im going to regret that. laughter mmm mmm cheers and applause the word salty is just the tip of the iceberg, friends cheers and applause laughter my kids kidneys are shutting down as we speak. Mmm but from the very beginning, Bernie Sanders campaign was remarkable. The first remark who is Bernie Sanders . Because back in april 2015 bernie announced his candidacy to a tiny crowd, and half of them thought he was the instructor for tai chi in the park. Ha ha stand like a tree, everyone the announcement aired on cspan 3 which covers news not big enough for cspan 2, which handles the stories too small for cspan 1, whose highest rated show is empty chairs in the senate. But somehow bernie became popular with his platform of giving everyone everything they want, and he excited young voters with his pure sex appeal. He had bedroom eyes and bedroom head. And soon tribute sanders was filling entire stadiums. He was like the Rolling Stones but younger. applause and he proved himself to be a serious candidate. Even after he said this but this is what you do do. What you do do stephen doodoo twice impressive for a man his age. Ha ha roughage. laughter in the end, bernie received over 12 million votes and won 22 states, and he stayed in the race so long, after being mathematically eliminated, that he also won the state of denial. laughter haha a long walk, but we got there together so heres to you, bernard. Words cannot express how we feel after losing you. So, in your honor. cheers and applause good night, sweet prince. Let us bid farewell to the fallen. cannon fire farewell, bernie. No one else expressed the frustrations of so many americans, without blaming it on mexicans or muslims. Well be right back, with Nicholas Hoult. cheers and applause hey, youre clarence yes, sir. You know, at the model year end clarence event, you can get a great deal on this 2016 passat. Steve. Yeah . Clarence is on a roll. Yeah. I wish theyd name an event after me. Same here. But the model year end becky event . Thats no good. Stevent thats just vandalism. Whatever you want to call it, dont miss the volkswagen model year end event. Hurry in for a onethousand dollar volkswagen reward card and 0 apr on a new 2016 passat. Ugh. Waa. Wow ohhh aaaaahhhh. Find your diet pepsi emoji today. M ms® milk chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hand. 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Only at applebees cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody thank you so much cheers and applause welcome back, folks my first guest tonight has been acting for more than 20 years and hes not even 30. His new movie is the scifi romance, equals. Its about time you all knew last week i tested positive for s. O. S. Im stage one. Im taking inhibiters. Theres no evidence the bug is contagious. However, if it makes you feel more comfortable ill wear a face mask from now on. Im very sorry silas. How long do you have . Difficult to say. Stephen please welcome Nicholas Hoult cheers and applause whats up, man . How you doing . Stephen so lovely to meet you. You, too. Stephen as i said to you back stage your performance in mad max fury road as one of the war boys what was your name . Knox. The second i start answering questions, my mind goes blank. I couldnt even remember my character. Stephen just make it up, ill believe you. His name was alan. That performance, such a crazy movie, over the top effects on how keyed up it was in the middle of that to do a performance so heartbreakingly beautiful and on such a small human scale was so amazing and the anchor of that movie. Congratulations on being immensely talented. cheers and applause im a huge fan. I was very lucky with the role and there was great people around me. Stephen theres the war boy right there. You played another boy before that. This is how most of us got to know you. This is from about a boy in 2002. cheers and applause how did you get into acting . How old were you here when you were doing this . 11. But i did my first play when i was three. Stephen what play are you doing when you are three . I was macbeth laughter it was the caucasian circle which i played the kid in it. I dont remember anything apart from we did a poster shoot and i had to stand in a chalk circle and people were grabbing my hands from the side and it got painful and they gave me biscuits and juice. I literally work on a treatsbased method. When we were performing equals, if i did a good take, i could go to the directing station and he would give me nuts. And if it wasnt up to pace, then he would be like, no nuts for you this time go do it again. Stephen thats how you train an animal, you realize. Thats pavlovian wow how do you get in age three to do Something Like that . They dont scout you at a gymboree. My mom was there and someone was watching h me and said your son can concentrate well for a threeyearold. Stephen can you still concentrate . No, its worse. Stephen do you play video games . No, i caught a spiro in the car. Stephen do you have your pokeemon with you . It was sitting in the back of the car. Didnt look too happy to be coming. Stephen that was on the way here today . cheers and applause right there. Wow. Did he split the fare with you . Train that up and i will be back. Stephen the new movie is called equals. Thats the photo that came up, maybe. Stephen you never know. Do you have a fair amount of nude photography on your phone . Youre a celebrity, of course. Thats the one question i want to get to before we go on is how do you actually go from child star to adult star without going crazy . Because its there are a lot of pit falls in between this. Not living in hollywood probably helps. Stephen so you stayed in london . Yeah, i stayed in the u. K. And in school till i was 17 and just did normal stuff. Audience guess. Stephen did you get in trouble . Sorry, i didnt see you guys on the way out. Iti was too nervous. Stephen thank you. cheers and applause i like the i know. Stephen i can go if you guys just want to very nice people. Do you play an instrument yourself . I try to play a guitar. Kristen bought me a guitar for a present for the film. Stephen do you really play . No, im watching youtube strumming away. I couldnt be one of the guys that had the guitar in the room and didnt play it. Stephen you know what helps . Have a woman break your heart. Everything i learned on the guitar and i dont know how to play it well, but everything i learned was in h the six months after a girl broke my heart. What was the top song . Stephen a lot of sad folky stuff that made me sound like i suffered more than i actually had. We should jam and sit there and console eachout snore that would be fun. Yeah. Stephen in the new movie equals with Kristen Stewart its a futuristic world what were seeing there. What youre worried about is youve caught a disease my understanding is, that makes you feel emotion because people in the future dont have emotions. Yeah, essentially they eradicate emotions because when humans feel things they inevitably screw things up act irrationally. I love the cameron clip with him Doo Doo Doo Doo doo doo doo stephen ive destroyed the European UnionDoo Doo Doo Doo doo doo doo laughter how do you act without emotion . Isnt acting all about showing emotion . Yeah, its really weird and then you have to go back to base form. These humans dont feel anything but when they get s. O. S. , switched on syndrome, they have nightmares headaches, and my character gets it and he spots kristens character and goes hmm, hang on, whats going on there . laughter and then it obviously goes terribly wrong and when you get that disease you end up in the den which is for terminally ill patients. Stephen how do you die from emotions . They kind of try and treat you but then it goes wrong and they kind of put you down . laughter stephen what if you show no emotion, they give you nuts. Ill be better. Stephen congratulations its lovely to meet you. Good luck on the movie equals is in the theaters this friday. The great Nicholas Hoult everybody well be right back cheers and applause middle class today were talking about automotive awards. Which one of these awards appeals most to you . The top safety pick midsize car and suv. Most dependable. Means a lot to me. The green car because i like fuel efficiency. What if there was a car company that received all of these awards. One company won an award in all these . Chevy. Ahhhh chevy. Chevrolet is the most awarded car company of the last two years. I love it its fierce. How would you sum this car up in one word . Incredible. Amazing. I cant use one word. rustling sound effects, spooky music did we put away all the food . Define all. Ahhhhhhhhh cheetos crunching such majestic creatures. Why are you deleting these photos . Because my teeth are yellow. Why don,t you use a whitening toothpaste . Im afraid it,s bad for my teeth. Try crest 3d white. Crest 3d White Diamond strong toothpaste and rinse. Gently whiten. And fortify weak spots. 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Taste it before its gone. cheers and applause stephen welcome back everybody my next guest is the reason your favorite movies are your favorite movies please welcome, John Turturro band playing cheers and applause hi. Stephen hi. Its an honor to meet you. I already met you once backstage but its an honor to meet you youre absolutely incredible. Well, i try. Stephen you succeed multiple times you dont even have to talk. I love seeing you on camera. Im going to look at you on camera height right here. There you go. All right. Stephen you are really giving me that John Turturro thing right now. laughter your new show is called the night of on hbo. Right. Stephen its getting incredible reviews. Right. Stephen you play john stone. Who is johnstone . Im a night troller ambulance chaser, eczemaridden defense attorney who wears sandals, and i stumble on to this kid who is being accused of murder. I dont know that, but im looking for a client, and there is just something about the kid that riz ahmed plays that, i dont know he has an extinction chiewl feeling that hes innocent, and thats involved in this whole case. Its about a guy who has the potential to be a good lawyer, but hes unable to compartmentalize his feelings going to trial, and he doesnt really have belief in the system that way and then he gets involved with something that he hasnt been involved with for a long time, a much bigger case and crime and the whole series is about the judicial system and the cost of backaccused of a crime, being of being accused of a crime being put into the system, what it does to the kid accused, his family, the defense, prosecution the policeman investigating him. Stephen we actually have a clip here of you talking to your client for the very first time. Okay, now listen to me. Dont talk to anybody anymore. Anyone asks you anything, how you doing, isnt it a nice day . Say, i dont know, talk to my lawyer. Okay . Say it. Okay. Say that to me. I dont know. I dont know. Talk to my lawyer. Where are you going . Seeing if i can get you out of here. Short of that, get you a phone call. You know what theyre saying i did . I dont and i dont care. Until they charge you you didnt do anything. Guard cheers and applause stephen did you go to Rikers Island . Rikers island, to the tombs, to court i hung out with a lot of lawyers. It was brilliantly written by Richard Price and steve also directed. So we really were in great hands because they were intere