D. N. C. A dimension of sight, sound and hillary you may have felt the bern, but now its time to learn she is your destiny go to the d. N. C. Where they love diversity from transorganic farmers to muslims who eat brie celebrities hunters groping trees bikes, subarus owned by lgbts death, taxes and Hillary Hillary theres bernie in a suit he bought at the dollar store the email staffers shred the night before liz warren as well omalley phils on a leash, joe smokes hasheesh, michelle death, taxes and Hillary Hillary in the city of brotherly love the Wells Fargo Arena will soon be filled with dreamers and people smoking cheesecake jamboree where your mind can be set free miss power girl will change the world if her donors all agree death, taxes and Hillary Hillary the party of the donkey is about to get funky join me brothers, sisters or corporate sponsors how will you identify welcome to your journey so throw your hands in the air and wave them like you care you must rejoice, there is no choice she is your destiny death, taxes and hillary death, taxes and hillary death taxes and hillary death taxes and hillary and tim kaine . Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight stephen welcomes Allison Janney, Anthony Weiner and ryan adams featuring jon batiste and stay human and now live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its time for the 2016 Democratic National convention death, taxes, hillary cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody hey death, taxes and hillary hey, everybody audience chanting hi, everybody cheers and applause nice being here. Welcome to the late show, everybody cheers and applause thats nice thanks whats going on . cheers and applause beautiful. Thank you, everybody thanks so much welcome to the late show im Stephen Colbert thank you so much, everybody thank you so much for being here at our Shadow Convention in new york city. Just moments ago in philadelphia, Bernie Sanders endorsed Hillary Clinton. It was an impassioned speech, but disappointed many supporters. I havent seen that many crying women since bernie opened for the beatles. laughter on the stage, actually. Jon it was right here. Right here. Stephen right now, we are live on night one of the Democratic National convention cheers and applause stephen yeah, live live also known as Hillary Clinton and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. laughter because on friday, wikileaks released emails proving that the Democratic National committee was conspiring against Bernie Sanders. In an unprecedented show of bias, the democrats threw their weight behind the registered democrat. Its not fair. laughter its like sams club refusing to take your blockbuster card. I dont understand. In one leaked email, a d. N. C. Staffer suggests attacking sanders faith, wondering. Can we get someone to ask his belief . Does he believe in a god. He had skated on saying he has a jewish heritage. I think i read he is an atheist. This could make several points difference with my peeps. laughter of course, peeps are very religious. laughter those little marshmallow chicks never miss an easter sunday. laughter now, some of the emails are less 19,000 emails were released. Some are less damning, such as this one with the subject line tiny suggestion that reads and this is true eat my butt. laughter cheers and applause stephen hey, hey. Hey, who hasnt argued over office email about where to get lunch . laughter the response was an allcaps rebuke, clayton its clayton the ol office eat my butt guy sure, its vulgar, disgusting, and crude, but its the first evidence that the democrats can take on donald trump. laughter cheers and applause bernies supporters have long accused the d. N. C. And their chairwoman Debbie Wasserman schultz of prohillary bias, and now that these emails have been leaked, Wasserman Schultz is in deep. Uh, whats the word . Doo doo. Stephen thank you. That has left a bad taste in peoples mouths. And heres how much the democrats dont get it. Yesterday, Wasserman Schultz said she plans to step down at the end of the convention. What . Thats like people finding out that theres a turd in the punch bowl and telling them, dont worry, were getting rid of the turd as soon as the partys over. Until then, drink up i promise were talking of, at most, four days of turd punch. Enjoy yourself. laughter there were some rough feelings when the day began. By early evening, things had seemed to calm down and then bernie supporter Sarah Silverman and hillary supporter al franken took the stage, and silverman got a little tired of the crowd. To the bernie or bust people youre being ridiculous. audience roars stephen wow. Its rare when the comedian heckles the audience. laughter i love sarah. Im glad sarah said something. Bernie supporters are known to respond positively to strong, independent women. laughter applause shout out to my bros jon hey stephen there were a lot of great speeches tonight, but leave it to Michelle Obama to truly unify the democrats. cheers and applause jon incredible speech. Stephen with tonights speech, she convinced everyone in that arena that it was finally time to elect, as president of the united states, former first lady Michelle Obama. cheers and applause she was structural damage to that place, they were cheering so hard. It was a very personal speech talking about her life, life of her husband and what the goals of the last eight years were and made a moving case for what her husbands time in the white house has meant to the children of america. Not just to our girls, but the children across this country. Kids who tell us, i saw you on tv, i wrote a report on you for school. Kids like the little black boy who looked up at my husband, his eyes wide with hope and he wondered, is my hair like yours . laughter stephen the only boy whos ever said that about donald trump is hermey the elf who wanted to be a dentist. laughter cheers and applause anyway, michelles speech was so good, i want to hear it again. When is melanias next speech . cheers and applause stick around. Well be right back, with my special visit to the democratic convention. Its like they were hungry for power well be right back cheers and applause introducing tmobiles most epic deal ever get a free Samsung Galaxy for everyone in the family. Thats right, free and get 4 lines for just 30 bucks a line. Dont miss this epic deal. Which one of theseing awards appeals most to you . The top safety pick midsize car and suv. Most dependable. Means a lot to me. The green car because i like fuel efficiency. What if there was a car company that received all of these awards. One company won an award in all these . Chevy. Ahhhh chevy. Chevrolet is the most awarded car company of the last two years. I love it its fierce. How would you sum this car up in one word . Incredible. Amazing. I cant use one word. Fortified. Tored. Replenished. Emerge everyday with emergenc packed with b vitamins, antioxidants, electrolytes plus more vitamin c than 10 oranges. Why not feel this good everyday . Emerge and see. Bud light party here to discuss equal pay. Women dont get paid as much as men and that is wrong. And we have to pay more for the same stuff. What . Yeah. Cars. What . Dry cleaning. What . Shampoo. What . You pay more but get paid less . That is double wrong. Im calling everyone i know and im telling them about this. This has got to stop bud light proudly supports equal pay, thats why bud light costs the same no matter if youre a dude or a lady. Yeah mom you have to pay more for a car than dad. No one treats my mom like this cheers and applause stephen welcome back. Welcome back, everybody thank you so much thank you, jon cheers and applause welcome back, folks welcome back to our live coverage if we can call it that, of the Democratic National convention. Why not . Nobodys going to sue me. All right. Today, the Democratic National convention launched with infighting over those leaked emails and the resignation of Debbie Wasserman schultz. I dont know why there was more of that today. Why didnt they deal with all that yesterday . Well, might have been my fault. laughter truth be told, yesterday i went down to philly to bask in the coming conflict. Its a bloodsport. Its like the hunger games. No, its worse. Its audience hungry for power games stephen caligula, we have arrived at the Democratic National convention. Finally, a chance for Hillary Clinton to prove to the bernie delegates that she is not a puppet of the big banks. And what better place than the Wells Fargo Arena oooh, delicious, lets go stephen i feel like im descending into the lower intestinal tract of the Democratic Party right now, where all of their ideals will eventually be excreted in the form of a viable candidacy. Haha, it paints a picture here at the d. N. C. , all lifestyles are welcome, be it gay, straight, or pain in the ass. laughter this is one of the concession stands, so youll never find Bernie Sanders here haha, word play here we are at the allgender bathroom. Be you female, male, or whatever these symbols are. I dont know, but they certainly are happy to see me. laughter oh yes, we have arrived. Behind me you see the podium upon which Hillary Clinton will be crowned the nominee. Oh smell that, the air is thick with bernies crushed dreams, its like a. Musk hanging in the air. Im sorry, thats caligula. Hes getting a bit gamey. Lets get him in the refrigerator, please . laughter here at the Democratic National convention, the rugs are all blue. So youll notice the carpet does match the drapes, and my pubic hair its bright blue im really quite concerned. laughter oh, the acoustics are wonderful in here lock her up, lock her up oh, theyre good oh, that really rings oh, that really rings jake, jake, you might know, have you seen chuck todd . Not today. Stephen you have not seen him . His goatee did not call my weasel back, after they got it on at the Convention Last week. Oh yes, they hooked up at the after party. Chucks goatee has a reputation. Stephen oh, its got a mind of its own. Oh lets get a preview of hillarys speech this is a sample of the font and size of the text. This is a sample of the font and size of the text. And they say shes robotic. I dont understand laughter all right, caligula, get the scent get the scent. And, go find the emails laughter the one thing left to do was the one thing the democrats really didnt want me to do mount the podium where hillary would be crowned. Podium pass. I have a podium pass, i have a podium pass, excuse me, thank you, thank you. Im just walking, im not going on, my weasel has a podium pass. Dont stop me now. You cant go on, sir. No, no. Stephen my weasel as a podium pass. Dont stop me now. There had to be more than one way to skin this cat. Im so sorry, sir. Stephen what if my weasel just went on and i didnt . Ill leave, if you just let the weasel on. Just the weasel. What could the weasel hurt . That one down there, shes the decisionmaker. Someone looked at her shes the decisionmaker. She has the power of life and death over me right now. Please . Please, i have a podium pass. You should allow me on the podium, all right . Please i beg you im someones little boy. It has always been my dream to go on the democratic podiums stage, whatever you call it. I knew it was time to bring in the big guns. Yes, Speaker Pelosi please. Hi, nancy, yes. I need some help getting on the podium. No, no, bring the kids, it will be fun. No, theyre not going to keep you off. All right, great, thanks nancy. May i call you nancy . You may call me nancy. Stephen i need you to throw some weight around. Come on Democratic National convention podium. Lets go. Thank you very much. No, mr. Colbert, youre not going on the stage. Stephen but were together. Shes with the little ones . Stephen yes. Theyre going to go. Stephen but im with her. Well all go together. Youre not going to on the stage. Stephen so close, yet so far away. Is it okay if i go on the podium . Nope. Stephen okay. Oh, say can you see by the dawns early light what so proudly we hail at the twilights last gleaming show the whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight or the ramparts we watch were so gallantly streaming and the rockets red glare the bombs bursting in air gave proof through the night that our flag was still there oh, say does that starspangled banner yet wave or the land of the free and the home of the brave stephen can i go on the podium now . Nope. Stephen resigned to my fate, i decided to go home. But first, a short cbs promo for the affiliates. Hello cbs affiliates, its julius flickerman, live from the d. N. C. All week ha ha the late show. Lets go to the podium. Itll be fun, come on. cheers and applause stephen thank you have a great week have a great week everybody God Bless America god bless freedom god bless freedom of the press god bless the Democratic National committee god bless podiums ha ha ha ha im not one to gloat, but, i won cheers and applause stephen hey yeah none of that was staged. If you want to see the entire 360 degree view of me charging the stage, go to facebook. Com colbertlateshow. Well be right back with Allison Janney. Stick around. Live. cheers and applause youve wished upon it all year, and now its finally here. The mercedesbenz summer event is back, with incredible offers on the mercedesbenz youve always longed for. But hurry, these shooting stars fly by fast. Lease the cla250 for 299 a month at your local mercedesbenz dealer. Mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Its gonna take a bit of work oh oh work i know, i know. Just keep breathing, honey. [doctor] give meone big push, cmon. It looks good, babe, it looks good. Ohhhhhweee woah [mom] hes beautiful. [son] mom. Dad. Nurse. Bees are born fully grown. Put some flavor in your break. Make time for snapple. You need to eat this special. I love it start your day with crunchy wholegrain flakes. And real strawberries. Special k. Eat special. Feel special. cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody my guest tonight is a seventime Emmy Awardwinner and everyones favorite White House Press secretary, now stars in the netflix film tallulah, please welcome the great Allison Janney cheers and applause stephen returning, the conquering hero the champion i like that, no ones come in here and declared victory before. Thats very nice. Obviously, tonight is the first night of the Democratic National convention. You and i and everybody out there knows that. cheers and applause and i have to ask something, it must be an obvious question for you, because youve done such fabulous roles, but Everybody Loves you as c. J. Cregg. cheers and applause you get tired of people praising you for that . No, i dont. Im just tired of disappointing people when they realize i am so not c. J. Of any character i have ever played, the is the one i wish i were most like. Stephen do you not follow politics . You know, the to a point, stephen. To a point. Stephen to what point . Do you vote . I do vote. Stephen thats better than most people. But i cant Pay Attention anymore to the dialogue. The campaigns drive mea t crazy. I cant do my morning ritual. Usually i get up, have coffee, watch the morning shows. Theyre all off now. I just cant do it. I cant watch anymore. Stephen what do you replace them with, cooking channel, shark week . Its less violent. laughter what cant you watch about it . Well, i just dont like what theyre saying. I dont like the dialogue. I dont like the smoke and mirrors aspect. I dont trust anything. Stephen the smoke and mirrors is where the magic comes in laughter whats that behind your ear . Its my new political opinion laughter cheers and applause el trumpo hillary the magnificent, i will make my emails disappear laughter at least lot to politics that shouldnt scare you. You love it. You thrive on it. Stephen i do. But if its not politics, whats the thing you love most . To watch on television . Stephen yeah, exactly. Do you ever watch yourself . No stephen no . Come on you know, i hear from people that youre very good. You really should be watching yourself. I dont enjoy i enjoy the process of acting. I dont want to watch myself do it, no, no. No. As i get older, its harder to watch myself act and the nibbles and bits that are, you know stephen im sorry, im sorry, the what . The nibbles and bits. Stephen the nibbles and bits . I wanted to make sure that was a b in that word. Because this is cbs. You know the standards at cbs. You work at cbs, too. We cant say you were very close to it was grated. Stephen wow, look at the nibbles on that woman and the nooks and crannies for the butter to collect in youre describing yourself as a Thomas English muffin. I was going to do a spit take. Stephen oh, that would be fun. Great. I should have kept that for balance. Stephen for a tan . No, when i was doing the west wing, i was asked for an extra sheet of paper for the bounce. Stephen lets see how this works. This is me without any bounce, no bounce. Im beautiful. See . applause stephen what are you talking about . cheers and applause stephen i find that attractive just because i love a woman ready to eat lobster. laughter lets talk about tallulah with the great ellen page. Reunited with juno and now tallulah