From the year 2016. Whatever. Talk to the hand. Stephen no, i really am you from 2016. Wait. Did you say 2060 . Stephen no, 2016. What happened to our face . Were we in an accident or something . Youve got to moisturize. Stephen i just i need all your bill clinton jokes. What . Why would you need clinton jokeses in the year 2016 . Stephen its impossible to explain. You would never understand. Hillarys running for president . Stephen yes. Okay, heres one. Ive just written it but theres no way it would still work 20 years from now. How are clinton scandals like pokey mon . Youll never catch them all. Stephen yes tonight, stephen welcomes jeff daniels. Bassem youseff. And aurora. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its time for the 2016 Democratic National convincing. Death. Taxes. Hillary. cheers and applause captioning sponsored by cbs stephen thank you, sir. Thank you, jon. Hey Stephen StephenStephen Stephen. Stephen thats nice. Thats nice. cheers and applause stephen hey wow thats nice. Thats crisp. Thats nice. Man, thats beautiful. Thank you so much. I gotta say, i wish thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I wish i had that much energy at noon. You people are incredible. Its five to midnight. Welcome to the late show. Im Stephen Colbert. We are coming to you live from the ed sullivan theater on night two night two of the Democratic National convention. Ladies and gentlemen, hillary clintohillaryclinton did it. The first woman ever nominated by a major party cheers and applause yes first woman ever nominated by a Major Political party. And im being told yes. The democrats are still considered a Major Political party. They had a rough week. Just moments ago, Hillary Clinton appeared at the convention by breaking the glass wall . Oh, so close to the proper metaphor. Jimo, lets help her out here. Lets break the glass ceiling. Woooooo i was afraid i was i was really afraid it wasnt going to happen there for a second. Hillary clinton could be the first female president. And america will finally catch up with 1960 sri lanka. cheers and applause so thats half the story. Thats just half the story. The other half is that it is officially over for bernie. But his supporters should be proud. If youre a supporter of bernie you should be proud. So many things they fought for are now in the democratic. Party platform. 15 minimum wage, overturning citizens united, claiming your claiming your hacky sack as a dependent. Its all in there. Now, it was going to be tough for any speakers tonight to top last nights impassioned plea by First Lady Michelle Obama to raise the level. cheers and applause wasnt it amazing . Incredible. She had an impassioned plea for raising the level of our national discourse. I want someone with the proven strength to persevere, somebody who knows this job and takes it seriously, someone who understands that the issues of our president faces are not black and white and cannot be boiled down to 140 characters. Stephen oh, thats good. Im going to tweet that right now. Thats good. But there were some highlights, tonight. Senator Barbara Mikulski of maryland said hillary would fight for what. Americans really care about. Shell fight for the macro issues and the macaroni and cheese issues. Stephen yes macaroni and cheese issues like, what is that powder, really . And it is time to stop calling it four servings when they know for a fact were going to eat the whole pot and when howard dean took to the podium tonight, he brought out the classics. Because this race is going to be won on the ground, and it will be won on the ground, and its going to be won in colorado, and in iowa, and in north carolina, and michigan, and florida, and pennsylvania, and then were going to the white house stephen wooo cheers and applause yes yeah only one problem with that he didnt do the scream hyaaagh youve got to do the scream, governor. Thats like Bruce Springsteen ending his concert by singing tramps like us, baby we were born. Good night yeah cheers and applause , of course, yeah yeah , of course, tonight, prime time spot, democrats brought out the big dog, potential first ladies man, bill clinton. cheers and applause thats official. Thats officially the name. Ive coined it. Thats officially the name from now on. And, of course, bill led off with some classic clinton charm. In the spring of 1971, i met a girl. Stephen bill, its supposed to be about hillary oh, im sorry. It was . That was her . I apologize. He scared me for a second there. Okay. Go ahead. Somehow i knew this would not just be another tap on the shoulder. And i might be starting something i couldnt stop. laughter applause stephen a feeling a feeling bernie supporters identified with immediately. Unfortunately, the philly phanatic wasnt available for the convention because it belongs to some sort of baseball team, and they cant spare him because hes the only entertaining part. So the d. N. C. Brought out the next best thing, and weve got him here tonight. The hilly phanatic. Come on out here, hilly. cheers and applause all right. All right. All right, hilly hilly. They love you. They love you, hilly. Whos the number one hillary fan in the house . And youre really amped about hillary, right . laughter okay, lets see your famous hilly shuffle. Do it okay, okay. I gotta say, hilly, hilly, you dont seem that excited about hillary. laughter its your job to get the crowd pumped. You gotta do what you gotta do. Just think of something that does get you excited. cheers and applause all right, the hilly phanatic, everybody. Thank you, hilly. Hilly phanatic, everybody. Now, im guessing it gets pretty gamey in that costume. Speaking of excitement, last night, cory booker gave a great speech about how we must love each other, and he was repeatedly heckled by the crowd. Yes, the crowd booed a speech about love. Dont they remember what jesus said . cheers and applause here now here now live applause here now live with his reaction to tonights speeches, please welcome live via satellite senator cory booker. Senator, thank you for being here. cheers and applause all right. Senator, now, you were there sitting with the Clinton Family in their booth for bill clintons speech. What did you think of it . Did it stir the crowd . I think it really did. It lit them up, and telling Hillary Clintons story, which as he said has been such a caricature, a cartoon, literally, because of what other people are saying. He gave a real great depiction of how shes lived a very dedicated life of service from the second she was out of school in fact, before she was even out of school. Stephen there has been a lot made about how a historic moment it is, but a lot of people, including some young women, sort of take it for granted that a woman can be the nominee of the party. Do you think that message was conveyed in an inspiring way tonight . You know, i just heard from a lot of folk about how special this moment was for them. I heard from a lot of mothers, and even Michelle Obama said so beautifully last night, its wonderful that her daughters could grow up in a country where they could take for granted the fact that a woman could become president. Its a major breakthrough that she has this sense that shes on the verge of becoming actually the next president of the united states. I think it is something that is big. I think there will be kids growing up that will be, like, 16 years old and will think to themselves the next time a white guy is wil elected to the presidency, wait a minute, i thought only women and black guys could do that job. cheers and applause . Stephen thats a good point, good point. I think its particularly significant, theres a real breakthrough that two men can talk about how significant this is for women right now. I think weve come a long way. Yes. Stephen you were booed. You were booed last night. How did that feel . Could you hear it while it was happening . I couldnt hear the boos, actually. By the time i got to the end of my speech i was lifted by the crowds rising to their feet as i talked about love. It was one of the most poifl moments of my professional career to get that kind of energy from the crowd. Im not sure where that headline was talking about but standing where i was it elevated me and i hope i sounded the right note as we went into the final four speeches period of time the nation, i talked about the declaration of independence, which has at the end of it that last sentence, probably one of the greatest declaration of interdependence in the world, where we said in order to make this country work we have to show an extraordinary commitment to each other and the founders wrote, jefferson wrote we must mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor. If you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go together. We are a great nation because we found ways to come together across religious differences, racial differences to do incredible things that humanity had never done, going to the moon, mapping the human genome. What makes our country great is that we heterogenuous and we find ways to love each other, work together, and elevate humanity. cheers and applause . Stephen speaking of uniting people, last night, last night, Sarah Silverman on stage said to the you know, never hillary, bernie or bust people youre being ridiculous. Do you think the bernie people are being ridiculous by still rallying for bernie at this point . No, i absolutely dont. If you compare whats ridiculous is that the republicans had a convention and their folks just boycotted it. Past president s didnt show up. 22 of my Republican Senate colleaguing just boycotted it. We in the Democratic Party said everybody come under this tent. Had we come under this tent there might be a lot of friction, a lot of saltiness but at least we come under the tent. But one of the best moments was sitting next to bill clinton and Bernie Sanders tried to speak and couldnt because people were cheering for him. I looked at bill clinton and he is cheering it up, whooping and hollering. It shows we recognize, this man, Bernie Sanders changed the national conversation. He changed the Democratic Party platform and because of his fierce competition he made Hillary Clinton more ready to lead this nation. cheers and applause . Stephen well, thank you, senator cory booker, everybody. Have a great week, sir. Well be right back with a very special live appearance by a very animated guest. And everyone knows me for discounts, like safe driver and paperless billing. But nobody knows the box behind the discounts. Oh, its like my father always told me put that down. Thats expensive. Of course i save people an average of nearly 600, but whos gonna save me . [ voice breaking ] and thats when i realized. Im allergic to wasabi. Well, i feel better. Its been five minutes. Talk about progress. [ chuckles ] okay. Talk about progress. [ chuckles ] ambut as much as youpancakes were ploved them,. We didnt. 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S. President by a Major Political party. And i think. cheers and applause 100 years from now, our grandchildren will look back on this day and say, why werent you more excited . Whats wrong with you people . Maybe its Hillary Clintons personal style. Maybe weve just heard so much about Hillary Clinton that we dont really know who she is anymore. What do we have to do to get to know the real Hillary Clinton . Your only option is to create a cartoon. Stephen all right. Thank you, mr. President. cheers and applause well, lets try it. Please welcome, cartoon Hillary Clinton. Thank you, thank you. Hello hey hi hi, up there. Thank you stephen thank you so much for being here, secretary cartoon clinton. And congratulations on your historic achievement tonight. Thank you, stephen. Thats what i love about america. Its the only place where a secretary of state, senator, and lifelong Public Servant can be put on equal footing with a screaming cantaloupe. laughter applause stephen okay, fair enough, fair enough. Madam secretary, first, i have to ask you how do you think your husband did in his speech tonight . Wonderful. He was healthy. He stood there. Wonderful. laughter applause stephen okay, praise indeed, yup. Nicely said, beautifully said. Lets get right down to it. How do you feel about the controversy surrounding the d. N. C. Hacked emails . Has it ruined the convention for you . That is a beautiful question, and it makes me very happy that you asked it of me. It is true that this week didnt start exactly as we planned it since 1998. laughter yeah. But i think everyone agrees that now is the time for us all to come together in unity. Or harmony. Or solidarity. Or whatever synonym resonates more strongly with you. laughter im just going to delete. Deleting. Delete. Delete. Stephen i dont want to interrupt you, madam, but given how upset people are over these emails, can you really expect bernie supporters to get behind you . Again, thank you for that powerful question. Truly, one of our nations finest questions. Stephen, Bernie Sanders is a great friend and has been for days now. cheers and applause hi hello hey, out there im happy to be here. Thank you. Bernie likes to tell it like it is, which is also what i do when i am alone and no one is watching. laughter hey stephen im over here. Im over here. Im back. Stephen last week at the r. N. C. I met a few republicans, and they had some questions for you. Would that be okay if we took some of those questions right now . A surprise . Hooray i love fitting those into my schedule stephen great. The first question comes from a republican, a debra is michigan. Secretary clinton, what are you hiding in the emails you didnt give to the f. B. I. . Stephen there you go. Great question, debra. As a former senator and secretary of state, i am the most highly qualified person to ever seek the office of president. But as a grandmother, sometimes i make a boooo on the computer. Now, instead of focusing on my emails, lets focus on what donald trump will do to females. Thats a very funny joke, stephen, because the words sound similar. And we smile laughter applause exactly. They like it. Thank you thank you, over there. I appreciate it. Thank you. Stephen lets take another scwe question from another republican delegate from tina in florida. What would you do to fix the economy . Yes, powerful question. Bheft question in all of human history. Words stated emphatically. Tilt head 15 no, 20 degrees. It makes me think of a time when i was in the swing state of pennsylvania, and i met a single mother who told me she needed a job. I was so moved, i hired her to be a talking point in my speeches. laughter and, stephen, together we did high touch of hands, stephen. Come on. Yes we are showing camaraderie cheers and applause yay thank you hello stephen you seem really happy and relaxed given the rough start to the week. Has your running mate tim kaine been helping ease the stress . Brilliant question. I wish i was always asked that question. Senator kaine and i have become very close. Heres something i learned from tim kaine. laughter all. My. Friends. Know. The low rider. The. Low. Rider. This is appealing, right . Popular music is a shared cultural reference point. Stephen it is. Is there anything else youve learned . Ive also been learning espanol from senyatore kaieenay. For instance hola, muchas gracias, and donde esta mi esposo bill clinton . cheers and applause stephen let me get this straight. Wait a second. If i caught that last one. You learned to say where is my husband, bill clinton . Yes. 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