cheers and applause yes. Bud light the official beer of midweek drinking. laughter cheers and applause tonight, we will be looking back at some of the highlights from my coverage of this weeks Democratic National convention. Well, actually, youll be looking at them. Im going to be taking a little nappynap. Jim we believe in Hillary Clinton. So we made something for her and for you. Enjoy. This is for hillary. Dumdum dumdumdumdum dumdum dumdumdumdum like a small boat on the ocean sending big waves drumdrumbass highhatbass drumdrumdrum like how a single word can make a heart open i want my baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back ribs this is our fight song take back our life song prove were all right song my powers turned on starting right now ill be strong i did not agree to appear in this. I was just told to wait here with these things on my ears. No one mentioned this is part of a weirdly earnest a cappella song for clinton. Awful. What the hell we talked at the a cappella meeting. I was going to have the hat and the hair. This is our fight song again, i did not agree to be part of this. This song is going to irritate people. cheers and applause its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes john oliver, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, from the ed sullivan theater in new york city its time for the 2016 Democratic National convincing. Death. Taxes. Hillary. Stephen welcome welcome. cheers and applause hi, everybody welcome to my Democratic NationalConvention Highlights show, hosted by me and my best my best bud here. laughter we are literally friends. Hes talking to me right now. Whats that . Whats that . Everyones laughing at me . Well, theyre supposed to. I know how to shut you up. cheers and applause bud light put it in your weekend hole. laughter now, back when i could still stand, i would do that over there and tell jokes. Heres a look at some of our favorites this week. Bernie supporters have long accused the d. N. C. And their chairwoman, Debbie Wasserman schultz, of a prohillary bias. And now that these emails have been leaked, Wasserman Schultz is in deep whats the word . Doodoo. Stephen thank you. In one leaked email, a d. N. C. Staffer suggests attacking sanders faith wondering laughter , of course,. Of course. That makes sense, peeps are very religious. Those little marshmallow chicks never miss an easter sunday. By early evening, things had calmed down, but then bernie supporter Sarah Silverman and hillary supporter al franken took the stage and Sarah Silverman got a little tired of the crowd. To the bernie or bust people youre being ridiculous. cheers and applause stephen wow. It is rare when the comedian heckles the audience. laughter i love sarah, and im glad she said something because bernie supporters are known to respond positively to strong, independent women. There were a lot of great speeches tonight, but leave it to Michelle Obama to truly unify the democrats. cheers and applause you saw it . Incredible. Jon incredible speech. Stephen with tonights moving speech, she convinced everyone in that arena that it was finally time to elect as president of the united states, former first lady Michelle Obama. I want someone with the proven strength to persevere, someone who knows this job and takes it seriously, someone who understands that the issues a president faces are not black and white and cannot be boiled down to 140 characters. Stephen oh, thats good. Im going to tweet that right now. laughter thats good. Really got it. Hillary clinton this means Hillary Clinton could be the first female president , and america will finally catch up with 1960s sri lanka. , of course, tonight, prime time spot, democrats brought out the big dog, potential first ladys man, bill clinton. laughter and. cheers and applause thats official. Thats officially the name. Ive coined it. Thats officially the name from now on. And, of course, bill led off with some classic clinton charm. In the spring of 1971, i met a girl. Stephen bill, its supposed to be about hillary also tonight, Hillary Clintons running mate, virginia senator and loosefit khaki model tim kaine was there. The thrilla whos vanilla. Now, see if you can guess which demographic theyre hoping tim kaine will attract . speaking spanish stephen they were pushing this spanish thing so hard, that tonight they introduced him by breaking him out of a pinata. You fell for my brilliant wife and partner, michelle. Who somehow hasnt aged a day. I know. The same cannot be said for me. laughter . Stephen its true. He has aged. Jimmy, can we see a photo of him in 2008 . There you go. laughter okay, yeah. And, and now in 2016 . Yikes. Oh, hes thats about the makeup. Hillary clinton became the first woman to accept a major partys nomination for president of the united states. cheers and applause incredible. I mean, however you feel, however you feel about either of the candidates, i got chills. I got goosebumps. As soon as you see it happen, you go, of course, its so obvious. Why hasnt this happened before . This is huge. This is the buggest breakthrough for women since they won the right to bust ghosts. Hillary, of course, was not the only one who made history at this convention. Last night her v. P. Pick, tim kaine, accepted nomination to become the 48th consecutive ma vice president. The Streak Continues way to go Hillary Rodham grew up in park ridge, illinois. Stephen im not saying hillary is going to win evangelicals, but youll notice that that was narrated by god. That was good. cheers and applause . Jon resonant voice. Stephen oh well be right back intrthe only lemon lime soda with a twist of real juice. 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Officials are reporting, this new doritos mix is responsible for the worldwide bold outbreak. Woo hoo over you to you tom things have gone totally around the bend. Has the world gone completely bold . New doritos mix. Four snacks in one. Introducing tmobiles most epic deal ever get a free Samsung Galaxy for everyone in the family. Thats right, a free Samsung Galaxy with every new line and get 4 lines with 6 gigs each for just 30 bucks a line. Plus everybody gets unlimited streaming from their favorite services. Dont wait. Get a free Samsung Galaxy for everyone. So get tmobile now. Because our most epic deal ever is only for limited time. Stephen welcome back, everybody. This week has been so rough and releaptless that at times i thought i needed a safe word. Mine is bud light. A little dab will doia. About 200 years ago, last week, i was down at the republican National Convention. And my friend julius flicker man from hunger for power game was also there. We thought it would be fair if we did the same thing this week at the Democratic National convention and we went to the trouble of actually getting can you see this we got an actual podium pass which as lowz you up on the podium for his weasel. And the democrats didnt seem to care. Jim . The hungry for power games ica ligula, we have arrived at the Democratic National convention. Finally, a chance for Hillary Clinton to prove to the bernie delegates that she is not a puppet of the big banks. And what better place than the Wells Fargo Arena oooh, delicious, lets go i feel like im descending into the lower intestinal tract of the Democratic Party right now, where all of their ideals will eventually be excreted in the form of a viable candidacy. Haha, it paints a picture oh, yes we have arrived. Behind me you see the the podium upon which Hillary Clinton will be crowned the nominee. Oh, smell that. The the air is thick with bernies crushed dreams. Its like a musk hanging in the air. Im sorry, thats caligula. Hes getting a bit gamey. Lets get him in the refrigerator, please . The acoustics are wonderful in here. Lock her up lock her up thats good. That really rings. That really rings. Caligula get the scent. Get the scent. And go find the emails the one thing left to do was the one thing democrats really didnt want me to do mount podium where hillary would be crowned. Podium paz. I have a podium paz im just walking. You cannot go on the podium sir. Coy have a podium pass. My weasel has a podium paz. Im not going on the podium. Dont stop me now. There had to be more than one way to skin this cat. What if my weasel went on and i didnt . Ill leave if you just let the weasel on. Just the weasel what could the weasel hurt. That one down there is the decision maker. She has the power of life and death over me right now. Please, please, i have a podium paz. You should allow me on the podium. Please, i beg you im someones little boy. It has always been my dream to go on the democratic podium stage whatever you call it. I knew it was time to bring in the big guns. Yes, Speaker Pelosi please. Nancy, yes, i need some help getting on the podium. No, no, bring the kid it will be fun. No, theyre not going to keep you off. All right, great, thanks. Nancy may i call you nancy . You may call me nancy. Stephen i need you to throw some weight around. Lets go. Democratic National Convention podium. Thank you very much. Mr. Colbert youre not going on the stage. Stephen im with her. Were all going on together. So close, yet so far away. Is it okay if i go on the podium . Nope okay. Oh, say can you see by the dawns early light what so proudly we hail at the twilights last gleaming whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight oer the ramparts we watch were so gallantly streaming and the rockets red glare the bombs bursting in air gave proof through the night that our flag was still there oh, say does that starspangled banner yet wave oer the land of the free and the home of the brave stephen can i go on the podium now . Nope. Stephen resigned to my fate, i decided to go home. But first, a short cbs promo for the affiliates. Hello, cbs affiliates. Its julius flickerman, live from the d. N. C. All week haha the late show. Lets go to the podium. Itll be fun. Come on. laughter cheers and applause have a great week have a great week everybody God Bless America god bless freedom god bless freedom of the press god bless the Democratic National committee god bless podiums haha haha im not one to gloat, but i won cheers and applause stephen thank you for trying to stop me. It was a lot of fun. Well be right back. Theres your beautiful baby. Any day now [crunch] youre eating doritos . Really . laughter owww give me that screaming [baby crying] [crunch] you can help prevent blindness in undernourished children across the globe by getting your vitamins at walgreens. Walgreens. At the corner of happy and healthy. Right now with card, select centrum vitamins are buy one, get one half off. First you start with this. These guys. A place like shhh no. Found it and definitely lipton ice tea. Lots of it. A lipton meal is what you bring to it. And the refreshing taste of lipton iced tea. W. I was always searching for ways to manage my symptoms. 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With humira, remission is possible. Or savory woodfire grilled an chicken,s fresh summer salad, well give you both for just 8. 99. Applebees new wood fired grill salads starting at 8. 99 for a limited time this summer. Only at applebees. applause stephen welcome back, everybody. You know, one of my favorite things about doing a talk show is when other people talk. You know who does that real good . John oliver applause cheers and applause stephen welcome i didnt mean i know absolutely right. Stephen i didnt mean to interrupt your dance break. I know at heart, youre really just a hoofer. I speak with my body. When my body feels the beat, it expresses that beat, and it does that with whatever this is. Stephen okay, did you did you watch the convention tonight . I did, i did. Ive just been watching it backstage. Stephen yeah . Im all about tim kaine. Where are my kaineiacs in the audience . cheers and applause that is the entirely reflective view of tim kaine in america. Oh, yeah . He spoke tonight . I dont know if you saw him. That was some if hes going to be americas stepdad, that was an exemplary performance, the level of dad jokes and impressions that came out of that mans soft face. He is a tall glass of lactaid. His donald trump impression doesnt just not sound like donald trump. I dont think it sounds like anybody. laughter i would buy he even he did a dad flex at the end where the only thing he was flexing was his face. He went. We did it cheers that guy. Tim kaine. Thats the star of the evening. Stephen yeah. Forget the president. Tim kaine is where its at. Stephen did you watch joe biden . Sure, but, again, i cant no, no, Tim Kaine Stephen no, joe biden . Joe biden was fine. Stephen feelings. Ive never wanted to be called scamp by someone as much as i have. Stephen hey, sport. Hey, sport. Bedtime, scamp. Late, huh . Stephen assistant manager of a local Hardware Store . Exactly. Here, ill open your beer. Id rather you drank it here with me. Stephen so hes the cool stepdad. Hes as cool as he could possibly be. Ive never seen anyone more about to break into a harmonica solo than that man. laughter ever. Stephen he can do it. He can do it. I think he must have been frisked on the way out. Tell me you do not have it with you, tim. They want to hear it i promise you, they dont want to hear it. I will slap it out of your mouth. Stephen thats your impression of Hillary Clinton . Thats right i will openhand slap it out of your mouth. I so wanted to him hear say, i hereby accept the nomination for stephen i accept the nomination except my impression of a harmonica is more like a tim kaine impression, because it sounds nothing like a harmonica or anything. Stephen thats because youre actually trying to play your fingernails, but you cant do that. You just make a sound with your mouth. Like a stubby flute. Stephen did you watch last what was interesting for me, this week with the democrats they did what you always do in a Political Convention which the republicans forgot to do great country, going to be greater. Its an incredible thing to forget to say for four days. To get the end of four days and say we definitely said we loved america, right . Check the tape. We must have said it. We say it all time. Stephen i thought you were going to say it. I kind of remember you saying it. Stephen i was going to say its a flaming poop pile. Someone said it im sure. We must have said it. Oh, bleep i dont think we said it. Stephen one thing we didnt say was s, h, because this is live. Sorry, sorry. Stephen hbo hbo cbs. Thank you very much. Thank you for being here for my last broadcast. What an honor youre my last guest. Because of hbo, you got off lightly with that curse word. It could have been a lot worse. Stephen you have had some great shows lately but one of the things that stands out for me suactually use the power of your perch to help a russian warlord chechen warlord. Its a geographical gray area. Stephen the russians say it is russia putin would say youre absolutely right. Stephen well, vlad and i go way back. You actually helped a warlord try to find his cat. Well, what happened was laughter so a chechen warlord lost his cat, and hes, apparently, very active on instagram, which is objectively ludicrous. So we thought we would help him find his cat. Stephen and he tweeted you he instagrammed you. His account this is a chechen warlords instagram account. And again, think about that sequence of words and how nonsensical it should be. And yeah, hes very angry with me. Stephen why . You helped him find his cat no, hes still not found it. Stephen and hes blamed you . All we did was, what we asked people to do was, if they saw any cat anywhere, to please tweet and instagram him, saying, is this your cat . cheers and applause and he didnt he has a much worse sense of humor. Stephen weve got to go here in just a second because, again, were up against a hard break because were live. But i understand you have this amazing news, is that