laughter stephen yes. Very good. So evenly warmed. But, why, papa . Stephen because sometimes youre hungry and you dont feel like getting up. laughter mmm. Spicy. Ah ah do thing with can. No, pap acant you do it yourself. Stephen shhh do can. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes. Joseph gordonlevitt. Millie bobby brown. And musical guest the head and the heart. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen nice to see you cheers hey, everybody whats up, man . Stephen jon whats happening. Stephen good to see you. Nice to see you. Welcome to the late show. Thanks, everybody. I like your little dance. Hey, welcome to the late show, everybody. Im Stephen Colbert. Wow it has been a rough week for Hillary Clinton. She has been dropping in the polls, and over the weekend, even her immune system turned against her. No surprise all the white blood cells are voting for trump. laughter ill have to thank you very much. Jon hey whoa stephen probably, probably. Thank you very much. Yes. That deserves it. Ill have more about hillarys health over there. But most damaging of all may have been a remark she made at a fundraiser on friday when describing trumps voters. To just be grossly generalistic, you could put half of trumps supporters into what i call the basket of deplorables. laughter im sorry applause the basket of deplorables . Wow. Hillary should put her insults in the hamper of awkwardness. laughter what is have you ever heard that phrase before . Jon i have never heard that one before. Stephen what is ray basket of deplorables, okay . It sounds like the worstselling item at edible arrangements. Or maybe your cousins suburban punk band. Or even better, maybe the korean translations of the minion movie. Id go see that. That sounds like a fun movie basket of deplorables. I might take four friends and go as the basket of deplorables for halloween. Jon oh, thats a good thing. applause stephen thank you very much. Thats called an inside joke. Thankfully, secretary clinton explained just what she was talking about. The basket of deplorables. The racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, islamophobic you name it. Stephen secretary clinton, i know youre the candidate, but heres a tip. If you want to be president , dont call the American People names. Even if youre elected no one wants to hear, my fellow americans, a quarter of our union are douchebags. And i think its an unfair generalization. Do trump rallies attract some people who say awful, racist things . Of course. But thats just the guy on stage. Theerp theerp yes, yes. Wooo wooo woo awful racist statements woo and, apparently, secretary clinton agrees, because over the weekend, she emerged from her coma long enough to issue a statement walking back her comment, walking back thusly last night, i was grossly generalistic. I regret saying half. That was wrong. Stephen really, you regret saying half, but youre still cool with basket of deplorables. What is it with older women and their love of baskets . Theres a basket for the tv remote, theres one for the mail, and the toilet paper gets a basket and a little wool hat. Big fan of the wool hat on the toilet paper over there. Gotta keep it warm. And, of course, after all this, donald trump jumped all over it. Never in history has a major Party President ial candidate so viciously demonized the american voter. She called them racist, sexist, xenophobic, islamaphobic. Stephen yeah, whats she going to call them next, murderers and rapists . laughter oh, im sorry, those are taken. cheers and applause jon it happened. Stephen it happened. Jon it happened. Stephen it happened. Say hello to jon batiste and stay human, everybody. applause stephen jon, you spend much time in chicago . Jon yeah, ive been to chicago to play a few times, actually. Stephen yeah, i was there this weekend. Fantastic town. Jon yes, indeed. Stephen i lived there 11 years. Jon thats right. Stephen i just love it there. I was there with my son. We went to a couple of restaurant. Chicagos motto should be, more meat than you wanted. Its extraordinary. Jon what about the pita . You try that . Stephen oh, fantastic. My 14yearold said, ive had enough, thanks. Because the deep dish pizza jon enough pizza. Stephen the deep dish pizzas are not really pizzas. Theyre really just a baby pool filled with cheese and sauce. Jon thats right, thats right. Stephen amazing, amazing. Stephen as i said over there when i was near tore jon, the big political story this week continues to be the questions surrounding Hillary Clintons pneumonia. Or as some are calling it lungghazi. Not many, not many people. So far, just me. But some. Here is what we know so far on sunday, secretary clinton fainted and stumbled after leaving a 9 11 memorial service. And down she goes and at first, her Campaign Said she was overheated, but then later admitted she had been secretly diagnosed with pneumonia two days earlier. And may i remind you thats pneumonia with a with a silent p. Why is that p even there . And who silenced it . laughter someone check on that. Someone check on that. Now, sources say the real issue is chronic dehydration, exacerbated by her reluctance to drink water, which has become a source of tension with her staff. Adding, she wont drink water, and you try telling Hillary Clinton she has to drink water. laughter challenge accepted. Secretary clinton, what if i told you there was a nonalcoholic beverage you can get free from any faucet, even sometimes from the sky . Its packed with oxygen, and get this twice as much hydrogen. And its delicious, like a tall glass of unflavored gatorade. Aaah water. You need it to live. cheers and applause i am not a fan. And this whole pneumonia saga feeds right into the narrative that clintons hiding things and shes too unhealthy to serve. Even democratic strategist and man whose porn name is his real name, david axelrod, tweeted laughter can you imagine . Can you imagine if the door opened and hes there going, pizza delivery . Yeah, were good, were good. laughter axelrod tweeted, antibiotics can take care of pneumonia. Whats the cure for an unhealthy penchant for privacy that repeatedly creates unnecessary problems . Im not sure, but in a lot of families, its alcohol. laughter but in this case, there may be no cure because hiding her diagnosis makes all those clinton conspiracies seem true. What else could be true . Is the Clinton Foundation really a big slush fund . Did they cover up an illicit cocaine ring . Is hillary a blooddrinking extraterrestrial lizard in disguise . laughter if so, she needs to drink more blood because she is getting dehydrated. Hillary clinton took yesterday off and reassured supporters that shes feeling fine, tweeting like anyone whos ever been home sick from work, im just anxious to get back out there. Okay, shes an alien. Senator, if im home sick, the only thing im anxious to do is watch more price is right. Honey, get me a fresh ginger ail, please. I fell asleep and the ice melted in this one and now its all watery. Could i have some toast or some sausal teens or a burger. Thats me being sick. And hillary even got to the phone with tvs healthiest human, anderson cooper. Why not just say on friday, you know, i got pneumonia, folks. Im going to power through it. Why keep it a secret . Well, i just didnt think it was going to be that big a deal. Stephen yeah, pneumonias no big deal when youre running for president. Just ask William Henry harrison. Oh, wait. You cant, he died of if you knownia. applause now, this level of secrecy for something so seemingly minor comes off as, frankly, cartoonish. So here to reassure us about her health situation, please welcome cartoon Hillary Clinton. cheers and applause hi thank you. Hello over there hi hi up top. Stephen hi, hi. Secretary cartoon clinton, thank you for joining us. Thank you, stephen. I am happy to be here, smiling, waving, breathing on my own. Stephen well, thats good to hear. But tell me, why did you hide your pneumonia diagnosis . Great question, stephen. Look, im just doing what hardworking americans do every day powering through a little illness to coughs do my job. coughs stephen are are secretary, are you okay . Im wonderful, stephen. coughs let me just get my inhaler. laughter applause stephen okay. All right, okay. All right. Secretary, that is a bong. Absolutely, stephen. And ask yourself, would i be using recreational drugs if i wasnt feeling well . Hi. Hello, bernie voters im feeling the bern stephen all right, all right, all right. Well, is this diagnosis going to slow down your Campaign Schedule . Not a bit, stephen. Im going to be out there every day coughs mildly listening to the voices of coughs more severely sorry, stephen, thats just my allergies. coughs violently stephen oh, my god did you just cough up a cat . Sure did. This is my cat, allergies. Sometimes at night, she crawls into my mouth and nestles in my lungs, because like all humans, stephen, i am warm blooded. Stephen this is incredibly, incredibly, disturbing. Stephen well, not as disturbing as the disappearance of the middle class. Hey, up there, do you like that . Stephen secretary clinton, it seems like this campaign is taking a real physical toll on you. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am fired up and energized by the stories of Everyday AmericansEveryday Americans who coughs sorry, frog in my throat. As i was saying, Everyday Americans who need someone to fight for them. Stephen secretary cartoon clinton, i am clearly talked to your dis embodied spirit right now. What, this . No, stephen. Im just displaying total transparency. cheers and applause laughter thank you hello thank you now, if you excuse me, i think i hear my childhood dog barking, so im just going to go towards that light. Stephen no, no, no thank you thank you it is good to be back. Stephen can i get you a glass of water . No, thanks. Never touch the stuff. Stephen cartoon Hillary Clinton, everyone goodbye thank you thank you coughs stephen well be right back with Joseph Gordonlevitt. applause ,,,, bamd playing cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody. My first guest tonight is an actor, a film maker, and star of the new movie, snowden. The point of this exercise is to keep your infrastructure up and running securely. The average test time is five hours. If you take more than eight, you will fail. Im done, sir. You dont have to tell me when you have completed a stage. No, i finished the whole thing. Its been 40 minutes. 38. What . 38 minutes. Stephen please welcome Joseph Gordonlevitt applause stephen hey, nice to see you. Great to be here. cheers and applause . Stephen the last time Joseph Gordonlevitt can i call you gordon jevit louis. You had two different kinds of socks on last time you saw you. You were very observant. Stephen and you did it again. I kept it a little more subtle this time but they do not match. Stephen do you do that for some personal reason youd like to share with us . I actually do. No ones ever asked me that on tv before. Yeah. My brother did this, and it was sort my brother, when he grew up, was this really sort of conservative, shy guy, and over the the course of his life unfortunately, he died, like, six years ago but over the course of his life, he became extremely extroverted. He decided he didnt want to be shy anymore. And one of the first steps to not being shy anymores was he started wearing brightcolored, mismatched socks. And it was sort of like him dipping his toe, because no one could see his socks, so he didnt have to suffer the consequences of being extroverted at first. Stephen so hes literally dipping his toes into the the waters. Yes. And i used to just wear black socks but then i inherited his sock collection, and now i always wear them. Stephen thats a beautiful story. Yeah, i didnt mean to get all no, not at all. Did you meet snowden . I did. Stephen where did you meet him . Oliver stone and his cowriter Karen Fitzgerald took a number of trips to moscow with he lives does he live, like, in a nice place . Is he under do the russians have him under guard . I dont know. I just met him at an office. I didnt go to where he lives. Oliver brought me on one of the trips. Because snowden was giving lots of feedback on the script but oliver wanted me to meet him. And i just spent about four hours talking with him, him and his longtime girlfriend, lindsey mills, who is played in the movie by shailene woodley. Its funny, because hes always trying to take the attention off of himself and put the attention on the issues he wants to talk about. Stephen today he tried to put the attention on himself because he asked president obama for a pardon. Thats true. But he wasnt talkin talking abt he liked to eat for lunch and how he walked and talked. Those are things i wanted to Pay Attention to. Stephen oh, as an actor. I see. His personal things. Stephen so did you get anything from him . Oh, yeah, absolutely. I mean, you can tell a lot about a person by just how they shake your hand. You know what i mean . laughter whoa. That was limp, dude. Stephen thats the best thing. Yeah. applause hes actually he was really, hes sort of Old Fashioned in his good manner s. Stephen oh, really . Yes, i didnt expect it. For better or worse theres a stereotype they might have been guilty of sort of falling into this prejudice that guys that are good at computers are socially awkward. So evidence half expecting him to kind of, like, you know, give this kind of handshake. Stephen no eye contact. But he really didnt at all. He was actually sort of gentlemanly, to be honest. And i wanted to i dont know i wanted to put that into the performance. Stephen now, does he want to come back . Did you talk to him about that . Definitely, yeah. Stephen why doesnt he come back do you think he should come back and stand trial . I mean, look, im not a lawyer as far as how he should or shipment be punished stephen but youre an american. I am an american. Stephen youre an murkinan nan. I dont say it like that. Stephen deep down were all americans. I cant say im an american. Heres the thing i think ultimately what he did is is its, of course, complicated, and i understand why people consider him a criminal because he broke the law. He did. When he took classified documents and gave them to journalists, that was breaking the law. But the n. S. A. Was also breaking the law a million times every day and lying to the American People about it, and we didnt know anything about that, until Edward Snowden provided the evidence. Stephen two wrongs dont make a right. Two wrongs dont make a right. applause just being the devils advocate, being the devils advocate. Heres the thing, i law they were breaking is in our bill of rights. Thats in our constitution that makes america so great. If you want to talk. Being an american, what makes this country so great is we have these rights. Thats a privilege. A lot of people live in places all over the world that dont have those rights, and when a Government Agency like the n. S. A. Is breaking that law and lying about it. To me, thats scary. Thats our democracy slipping away, and im happy to stand up and say im not cool with this. Its not okay. applause stephen im not censoring your freedom of speech, but weve got to take a commercial break. Well be right back with more Joseph Gordonlevitt, stick around. applause revolutionary xtemp technology is designed to respond to your body temperature to help keep you cool. Lets put it to the test. Youre up. Ew. Im gonna play it. Wedge . Yup next anncr it speeds evaporation to help keep you cool and dry. Hanes xtemp technology. Because when youre cool, youre comfortable. I think you got this. Right. f ot steps crickets chirping jet engine heart beat water splashing rain drops engine revving tires on wet road you may be muddling through allergies. Oned with. Try zyrtec® for powerful allergy relief. And zyrtec® is different than claritin®. Because it starts working faster on the first day you take it. Try zyrtec®. Muddle no more®. applause . Stephen welcome back, everybody. Were here with the young, handsome and talented Joseph Gordonlevitt. As we were saying before the break youre in the new movie snowden, directed by oliver stone. Right. Stephen notice, he is a bit of a conspiracy theorist. Well, i mean tell me what part snowden played in the assassination of j. F. K. Thats what i want to know. He was the hidden guy he was negative 23 years old on the grassy knoll, man. Stephen whats it like hanging out with oliver stone . Is he fun or is he constantly spinning tales . He seems like a bit of a dark figure. I mean, i would not disagree with your characterization of him being a dark figure. Look, i actually think oliver stone is the only one who could have made this movie about Edward Snowden because its true. He is a sort of a contrarian. Hes a patriot man. First of all, he has a purple heart. Oliver stone went to vietnam and fought and saved some guys lives and has a purple heart. Heart. applause heres the thing oliver stones movies tend to be critical of the american government, but, again, we live in a country where were allowed to be critical of the government. Thats what is so beautiful about our country. We can have those conversations. Thats a patriotic thing to do to say, i love my country, but this thing thats happening right here is not right and we should be talking about it. Thats what oliver does in his movies. Stephen did you do anything off set . Did you hang out with him . I imagine he has a fun side. He looks like hes been to a party or two. I think oliver stone has had some fun in his life, yeah. He loves movies, oliver does. I mean, its not surprising, hes a great fil filmmaker. But he knows so much. Stephen did you watch any films together . We watched a movie together, a great war movie, actually. The first time the first time that oliver and i got stoned together laughter we were we were we were talking about war stories. I asked him about vietnam, and he was telling me about it, and then we started talking about war movies and what war movies he lik