Isaac, Laurie Metcalf and april ryan. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause band playing stephen hey cheers and applause thank you so much. What an amazing audience. Amazing. You guys are fantastic. You guys are a shot of espresso with a twist. Thank you so much. Welcome to the late show, everybody. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause very nice, very nice. Hey, you know a couple weeks ago when House Republicans passed their Healthcare Plan . They were so excited about providing the affordable healthcare to everyone, that they didnt wait to find out if they were providing affordable healthcare to anyone. laughter well, the Congressional Budget Office finally crunched the numbers on their plan and, unlike their first plan, which would have 24 Million People off health insurance, this one will leave only 23 million more americans uninsured. Just 23 million, okay . Thats it. Jon wow. Stephen 23. To put that in perspective, if you laid 23 Million People end to end, they would reach a country that has health care. laughter applause north . Maybe. According to the c. B. O. , it raises premiums for older, poor americans by as much as 850 . So, i think the g. O. P. Repealed and replaced your grandpa. laughter republicans dismissed the report. Texas representative and portable tube of yogurt, louie gohmert, told reporters why he was ignoring the c. B. O. Report. I could care less what c. B. O. Says. They couldnt find their rear end with both hands. Stephen which is too bad since, from now on, well all be doing our own prostate exams. laughter jon whoa, whoa. Whoa, man. Stephen whatd you find . laughter id rather do my own, actually. Id kind of rather. I know whats coming. laughter and all this is bad news for passing the senates version of the bill. Even before the c. B. O. Report, Mitch Mcconnell told reporters, i dont know how we get to 50 at the moment, but thats the goal. And, if this passes, getting to 50 will also be the new lifespan goal. The c. B. O. Score is already having a huge political impact. Today, in montana, there was a special Congressional Election to replace interior secretary ryan zinke. Who was the congressman from there. Its a nailbaiter between democratic candidate and man who comes to your Elementary School to sing about flossing, rob quist, and republican billionaire and guy willing to lose friendships over a game of pictionary, greg gianforte. Last night, when he was asked by a reporter for the Guardian Newspaper about the c. B. O. Score, gianforte body slammed the reporter. So gianforte may or may not win the election, but hell definitely win wrestlemania. laughter he is jacked. He looks good. cheers and applause this is actual true audio of the conchtation. To the c. B. O. Score, because, you know, you were waiting to make your decision about health care until you saw the bill, and it came out ill talk to you about that later. Yeah, but theres not going to be time. Im just curious speak with shane, please. Just sick and tired of you guys the last guy that came in here, you did the same thing. Get the hell out of here. Get the hell out of here. The last guy did the same thing. Are you with the guardian . Yes, and you just broke my glasses. The last guy did the same damn thing. You just body slammed me and broke my glasses. audience reacts stephen thats a good reporting right there he knows theres no video, so hes narrating his own bodyslam. laughter you just broke my glasses, and now you are hoisting me above your head and hurling me toward the wall, into which i have crashed with a boneshattering thud, and slumped to the floor below. This is ben jacobs, signing off from consciousness. Bill . laughter piano riff now, that happened the night before the election. Got to be pretty damaging. I dont know how anyone could vote for a candidate who body slams people. Ive never seen donald trump fight like this oh, my god stephen i forgot nothing matters. laughter but that reporter may have gotten off easy. Just check out this ad gianforte ran earlier in the election. Rob quist wants to establish a gun registry, your name, your guns, in a federal computer making it easier for democrats to grab your guns. Its time to fight back. gunfire stephen let that be a lesson to you government if you dont want someone shooting your Big Government computer, dont leave it plugged in in the middle of a field. laughter dummy cheers and applause oh, they bov putting their computers out in the field piano riff i know its a dumb commercial but before you roll your eyes at these g. O. P. Gun nuts, the democrat, quist, ran an ad where he shot a tv playing gianfortes ad. gunfire explosion stephen guys, please stop shooting things. laughter just cut out the metaphorical middleman and have a penis sword fight. Just cheers and applause we know thats what this is about. Winner goes to congress. And, i got to say, i do a little bit feel for gianforte here. I mean, it seems crazy to body slam a reporter, but when youre in the public eye, and people keep badgering you with questions, it can happen to the best of us. Just look at the q a i did before the show tonight. Probably my favorite interview of all time. Any questions . Second row right there. Hello, steven. My question is as follows, are you and jon stewart actually friends . laughter stephen you son of a pitch come here come here put me down stephen go just go Ahhh Ahhh Ahhh stephen damn it uncht ahhh my glasses cheers and applause piano riff stephen hes fine. Hes fine. Some of that was made up. laughter meanwhile, the russia scandal looms over trump like a congressman over an unconscious reporter. Weve learned that james comey made detailed handwritten memos every time he spoke with the white house to properly document conversations that were on the verge of improper. Verge of improper, of course, also the new series on masterpiece theater after dark. laughter not sure what that was. Id watch that but im not sure i didnt get a chance to see that graphic before the show tonight. laughter im not sure if we have to blur the crotch there. laughter and news of these notes has some people freaking out, especially white house chief of staff and method for cleaning your priebus, reince priebus. The comey note that priebus is worried about would have been written back in february, when priebus called james comey and his Deputy Andrew mccabe to the white house, to ask them to publicly knock down media reports about media reports about communications between Donald Trumps associates and russians. Yes, he wanted them to knock down those russian reports. And im being told we have a response from those russia reports. I get knocked down but i get up again youre never going to keep me down cheers and applause Stephen Strong words. Strong words. laughter at the time, the white house denied that priebus made the request of comey and mccabe, which may be why, when they learned of the memos, white house officials met the news with sustained panic. laughter yes, sustained panic, which also describes sean spicers daily press briefings. laughter cheers and applause and i believe we have an artists reconstruction of the moment reince heard about the memos. There you go. Yes. And with comey set to testify publicly in the coming weeks on capitol hill, one white house official said, were waiting for the other shoe to drop. Quite frankly, were all waiting. The other shoe . Thats a lot of shoes. laughter well, i guess well find out in priebus upcoming tellall book, the very guilty caterpillar. laughter weve got a great show for you tonight. Oscar isaac is here. But when we return, ill have the latest revelations from a big, furry hat. Stick around. cheers and applause band playing do we really have to choose him to be our next spokesperson . Seems like a good fit. But hes so boring. Im yawning just talking about him. Well its our job to change that. Uh guys. I think he can hear us. Hm. Sounds like youre on the fence. Why dont i just leave you my resume . Yes, its laminated. No thanks. Youre hired caramel has been square for far too long. Uh. Ow. Introducing new caramel m ms. At lincoln, were all about making things simpler for you. Like, imagine having your vehicle serviced. From the comfort of your own home. Introducing complimentary lincoln pickup and delivery servicing. Because the most important luxury of all. Is time. Pickup and delivery servicing on the entire family of lincoln luxury vehicles including a complimentary lincoln loaner. Well its a perfect nespresso hold on a second. Orge. Mmm. [mel torme sings comin home baby] hey there. Want a lift . Where are we going . No dont tell me. Let me guess. Have a nice ride. How far would you go for coffee thats a cup above . I brought you nespresso. Nespresso. What else . We, the device loving people want more than just unlimited data. We want unlimited entertainment. So we can stream unlimited action. Watch unlimited robots. Watch unlimited romance. If you are into that. But we also want more like. Unlimited hbo. Can i stop dying now mark . No cant do mi amigo. Its unlimited. Besides you are really good at it james. Dont settle for any unlimited data plan. Only the at t unlimited plus plan comes with hbo included at no extra charge. , cheers and applause band playing Stephen Jon Batiste and stay human, everybody cheers and applause whoo whoo jon whoo stephen knicknack paddy wack good to see you, jon. Hey, folks, when i can do this with my hair, thats when i know i need a haircut. I do this every day. Haircut next time you see me. laughter you know, as the host of a talk show, i wield tremendous power. As much power, in fact, as historys most coldhearted tyrants, like genghis khan, kim jongun, and jayz. laughter to become jayz, he first had to murder jays a through y. laughter all of us have one thing in common lemonade is about us, and we all wear a big furry hat. drumming cheers and applause stephen now that this hat is upon my head, any proclamations i make are now and forever law. Let us begin. drumming from this moment on, if there is a crying baby on your flight, and you make a face that cheers the baby up, you are the new sully sullenberger. laughter let it be known, anyone who tells me to chillax shall be killaxed. laughter cheers and applause henceforth, if your wedding does not have an open bar, my gift to you will be whatevers left of the bottle of bourbon i brought to the reception. laughter in addition to summer blockbusters, movie studios must also release fall, winter, and spring blockbusters. There is no season when i dont want to see chris pratt walking away from an explosion. laughter let the word go forth. If you cross the road while looking at your phone, i get to drive over you while looking at my phone. laughter cheers and applause somebody needs to invent a bagel emoji. I feel weird texting star of david and donut. laughter cnns news app may only send alerts when its actual breaking news. I have no urgent need to know what Anthony Bourdain is willing to put in his mouth now. laughter from now until the end of days, if you call your dog your baby, you must put that dog through college. laughter applause i hereby proclaim that mens briefs are no longer called tightywhities but rather dorkyporkies. laughter applause so let it be written, so let it be done. Hockey games are now just the fights. The zamboni may come out occasionally to sweep up the teeth. laughter the hat has spoken cheers and applause band playing well be right back with oscar isaac. Im dr. Kelsey mcneely and some day you might be calling me an energy farmer. Energy lives here. Discover card. Hooh, youre real . . You know im real at discover, were always here to talk. Good, cause i dont have time for machines. Some Companies Just dont appreciate the power of conversation you know, i like you i like you too at discover, we treat you like youd treat you. Get the it card and talk to a real person. Allthat was amazing. E sitting. The ceiling is all spider webs. We missed grandpas 99th birthday. Im actively trying to stand up right now. And his funeral. Oh i have a beard. Oh a chip. laughter Binge Watching isnt always rewarding. But hotels. Com is. Thanks captain obvious. How long have you been here . Unlock instant savings now and earn free nights to use later. Hotels. Com. From nexgard. Nexgard kills fleas and ticks all month long. And it comes in an easytogive tasty chew. And that makes dogs and owners happy. No wonder vets love it too. Reported side effects include vomiting, itching, diarrhea, lethargy and lack of appetite. See your vet for more information on flea and tick protection you and your dog will love. Nexgard. The vets 1 choice. cheers and applause band playing stephen welcome back, everybody ladies and gentlemen, my first guest tonight is a golden globe winner whos been the bad guy in xmen, the good guy in star wars and the talented guy in just about everything. Please welcome oscar isaac cheers and applause band playing thank you. Stephen well, nice to have you on, especially tonight, because today is the 40t 40th anniversary of the release of the original star wars movie. cheers and applause and im enough of a star wars fan nobody has to tell me that youre podameron. You really are a fan. Stephen i am. I saw the original star wars three weeks before it came out in a test market in my hometown. Do you remember your first . Of all the movies, which was the first you saw . Return of the jedi. My dad took me. I was blown away. Stephen how old were you at the time . That came out 81, 82 . I was, like, four. audience reacts stephen was that scary for a 4yearold to see because those ewoks are pretty violent. Pretty frightening. I remember when darth vaders helmet comes off for the first time and you see hes just like a fat old bald guy underneath. Stephen hes a sith lord, not a fat old bald guy. Hes pretty scarred up. Stephen that must have scared you. That shocked me. Yeah. You see a lot of that, you know, a lot of bad dudes are fat, old, bald guys. Stephen thats true, who just want to be loved. He just wants to be loved. They just want to be held. Stephen they just want to be held. laughter whats the security like on the if film . Its crazy. The first time around we got actual hard scripts we could read and flip through. At the end of shooting, theyre, like, you have to give the script back. I was, like, sure. I went home with my script. A week later they said called and said theyd love to get the script back. I said, yeah, ill send it. A week goes by, and theyre, like, the lawyers would like the script back. Yes, right away. laughter they said after the movie, you can have the script. And after it came out i got a leatherbound thing with my name on it. Stephen we were lurky right before she passed to have Carrie Fisher to talk to her about her new book and her experience during the first star wars series. Do you do scenes with her character . Yeah, actually, a large amount of the stuff that i got to do was with carrie which was amazing. Its actually i remember the first day of shooting was a scene with carrie and it was still you know, oftentimes the first day, the filmmakers, everybodys trying to get the tone and figure it out, and i remember it was a scene where i come to talk to her and she was very upset with me and slaps me. And ryan kept doing it over and over stephen the director . Ryan johnson, the director, yeah. It ended up being 27 takes of carrie just leaning in. And every time she would hit a different spot in my face. Stephen to keep the scene fresh. laughter she was by far the quickest witted, funniest, most downtoearth, real human beings i ever had the opportunity to work with. She does amazing work if this. Yeah, it was definitely a heartbreaker. applause stephen well, i understand that you started making films at a pretty early age and you were interested in Science Fiction and fantasy pretty early on. We have a scholarship of the first film you did here. Can you set up the clip, what its about . I had an affinity pore the classics as well, so, i believe this clip will be of my first lead role, and its a monster that ends up much like darth vader being killed by love. Stephen okay. Jim . soft music applause thank you. Thank you. Stephen beautiful. Chilling. Yeah. Stephen a chilling moment of realization. Is it a vampire . Yeah. laughter stephen who were the other actors in that film . My sister and my cousin in my dads bathrobe as a ninja. Stephen so a ninja fight ago monster. Undead. Stephen undead monster. With strawberry quick. Stephen and how does love kill him . As the film goes on, he goes to get the girl you know, hes angry and she feels sad for him and holds out her hand and when he goes to hold her hand, it breaks his heart and he dies. Stephen the love and tenderness kills the monster. Mmhmm. The monster also falls on my cousins hand, you see his hand go like that. My father directed it. laughter stephen you grew up all over america, right . You have a nomadic childhood. Yeah. Stephen where did you think of yourself as being from . Well, for a while, i thought i was from russia. Stephen why . You have family in russia . No, i was born in guatemala, my dad is cuban. I remember showing up in kindergarten being, like, guys, im russian. Theyre, like, great. It would be all the kids against me in the war games. I went home one day and said, dad, so were russian . He said, what . Hes, like, were russian in the morning. Stephen dad jokes. Dad jokes. laughter well, now youre playing the greatest most challenging role for a young actor which is hamlet. Yes. Stephen congratulations. Thank you. Stephen what is the greatest challenge of playing that role . For an older actor, its lear. For younger actors, hamlet, thats the mountain to climb. Whats the mountain look like to you now . Lot of words. Stephen shakespeare got paid by the pound. Yeah. Stephen could you try to explain one of the lines to me. I love hamlet and im interested in this line. He says to his friend, horatio, played by keega keeganmichael. He says, there are more things than are dreamt of in your philosophy. What reading would you say. Are we going to nerd it out . Stephen yes. Hamlet and horatio are theology student and they are studying philosophy which is stoicism. We are reading the folio which are there are more things in heaven and earth, horatio, than are dreamt of in our philosophy. applause stephen that will blow my mind, because the stowics