Donald trump won last nights debate. Its the worst debate performance for a republican since Clint Eastwood lost to that chair. [ laughter ] [ growling ] good rebuttal, chair. [ laughter ] donald trump told reporters today that he gives Hillary Clinton a c plus for her performance in last nights debate. A c plus . [ light laughter ] then what was your grade . An h . [ laughter ] donald trump blamed his poor performance on a defective mic that may have been planted at his podium on purpose. Apparently the mic had a defect that caused it to pick up everything he said. [ laughter ] wait, people are hearing this . [ applause ] well thats very bad for me. [ applause ] according to twitter of the five million tweets about last nights president ial debate 62 [ laughter ] hold on. During the debate Donald Trumps campaign was reportedly deleting old tweets that contradicted his onair claims. [ light laughter ] and i think we actually have a clip of that process. [ laughter and applause ] seth for those of you too young to remember that was eleanor roosevelt. [ laughter ] the New York Post published photos yesterday showing patriots Quarterback Tom Brady spending some of his deflategate suspension tanning naked in italy with his super model wife, gisele. Well, i hope hes learned his lesson. A spokesperson for the taliban issued a statement saying the terrorist group was very eager to watch last nights debate between Hillary Clinton and donald trump except. For achmed who had 20 on the falcons to beat new orleans. Could we at least switch over and check the score, man . Come on, i got no service here. [ laughter ] like everybody from my fantasy team is in that game. A new Study Suggests that suffering from morning sickness may indicate expectant mothers just be careful as to when you deliver that fact. Honey are you in there . You sound awful. Anyway, i got some great news. Youre healthy. [ laughter ] now some of you may have seen this, Hillary Clinton released a new campaign ad this weekend called mirrors. Its drawing a lot of attention. The way the ad works is it features young women looking into mirrors intercut with donald trump insulting the physical appearance of various women. Id look her right in that fat ugly face of hers. Shes a slob. She ate like a pig. A person who is flat chested is very hard to be a ten. Seth you know its really an effective technique because it reminds you many of the awful things he said about women. But it should be noted that Donald Trumps insults have never been limited to just women. Hell insult anyone and anything he doesnt care for. In fact we managed to get a hold of hillarys next campaign ad. So please enjoy an early cut of im Hillary Clinton and i approve this message. . . When mexico sends its people, theyre not sending their best. What do you have to lose . Youre living in poverty. Your schools are no good. You have no jobs. The press are liars. Theyre terrible people. . . Some wall street guys, theyre brutal. Theyre miserable. You wouldnt want to go out to dinner. Theyre terrible people. The referees they want to all throw flags so there wife sees them at home. Oh, theres my husband. [ laughter ] how stupid are the people of iowa. [ laughter ] hairspray is not like it used to be. It used to be real good. [ laughter ] i thought seth meyers frankly, his delivery was not good. Hes a stutterer. Seth thats fair. [ laughter ] . . [ applause ] seth and finally, a group is set to launch a calendar exclusively featuring partially nude photos of red headed men. Unless their demands are met [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] we have a good one. From the new film, miss peregrines home from peculiar children, our friend [ cheers and applause ] one of the all time greats. Shes one of the all time greats too. My old colleague and good friend from saturday night live, Cecily Strong is here to talk about their season premiere and hopefully this summer. And also from the Esquire Network, the show is car matchmaker, he is the host, Spike Feresten is joining us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] its a great show. Last night, we were live. Which is very exciting. We like doing live shows. We had great guests last night and, you know one of the things about hosting a talk show is you get to have people all the time that youre excited to talk to. Last night david ortiz was on the show. Im a huge Boston Red Sox fan and it was a big deal to me that david ortiz was sitting right there and i wanted it to go well. I felt a little extra pressure because it was big papi. And unfortunately for me, midway through our ten minute interview i realized oh i have to sneeze. And i fought it off as well as i unfortunately it was live, so i knew if i sneezed we werent gonna be able to edit it out. And well, there you go. Take a look. Seth you have a favorite memory here at the end . Well, you know [ sneeze ] seth sorry. [ laughter ] i have heres the thing. I have been working on that sneeze for like ten minutes [ laughter ] and i almost made it. Almost. [ laughter ] seth i did almost make it, but i want to show you that just so you see how hard i was working. The noble effort i made to not sneeze while david ortiz was here. Seth obviously youve never seen this before. This is a half red sox and half yankees controller in honor of you. Thats pretty great. A lot of fight. Seth a lot of fight. [ laughter ] what is your do you have a favorite memory here at the end . Well, you know [ sneeze ] seth sorry. So apologies. Apologies to big papi but also thank you so much for coming on. All right, moving on. We talked about it last night, donald trump and Hillary Clinton faced off in their first debate. And today the consensus seems clear on who won which prompted donald Trump Supporters to look for excuses. For more on this, its time for a closer look. . . [ applause ] seth before the debate even started it was clear to many there was a double standard in candidate. Like this from conservative pundant hugh hewitt. I think the pressures actually on secretary clinton. She has so many things she cant do. She can not cough. She can not laugh with the distinctive hillary laugh. She can not shout like she did at her supporters last week and she can not condescend. On the other hand donald trump just has to be affable. Seth so she cant laugh, she cant cough, she cant shout or condescend. Basically she has to act like a Ninja Bank Robber weaving meanwhile trump just has to be a cplus walmart greeter. [ laughter ] so based on the expectations his own supporters helped set, all trump had to do was be a normal person and he would have been declared the winner and yet he still managed to lose. [ light laughter ] even fox news had to glumly admit that he lost, although they did have plenty of excuses. The rest of the debate hes been as good in the first 11 or 20 minutes, however you want to count for, he would have won that debate and we might be looking at a different race. The most critical point of when people were really tuned in. Those were Donald Trumps best minutes. Hillary was mean, nasty, personal. She looked i think for the most part, she looked composed, smug sometimes. Not necessarily attractive. Seth she . She didnt look attractive . Last night Donald Trumps face looked like someone was making a fist inside a sock puppet. [ laughter ] but even in his worst moments trump had a best bud to fall back on. You might remember last night, trump continued to falsely claim he opposed the iraq war, incited one fox host in particular who he said could prove it if people would just call him. Everyone refuses to call sean hannity. Nobody wants to call him. Nobody calls sean hannity. If somebody would call up sean hannity. [ laughter ] seth he sounds like hannitys jewish mother trying to set him up on a date. Hes a nice boy. He has his own tv show. Youre not getting any younger. After the debate of course, theres the time honored tradition of candidates leaving the stage and embracing their loved ones. And trump was no different rushing directly into the arms of the only person who truly understood him. Weve got trump speaking to our own sean hannity. [ laughter ] seth and it makes sense that trump went to sean hannity, because hannity was one of the few people who thought trump actually won this debate. A very good night for i thought trump was very articulate. He was himself, but he didnt fall into the trap. He could of hit her so hard that everybody in that audience would have gone, oh. Seth they would have been like, oh, which makes sense because trump is the Jerry Springer show of candidates. [ laughter ] although hannity didnt always get help from his guests, like when he asked former candidate ben carson for his take on the debate. Whats your take on the general reaction to the debate . [ laughter ] are you asking me, sean . Can you hear me . Oh. Okay. Yes. Yes, sir. [ laughter ] seth ben carson must have been such a mess in school plays. Where art thou romeo . Romeo . Ben . Huh . [ light laughter ] none the less trump seemed to take his cues from hannity, bragging this morning that he won the debate and citing several online polls he said he won to prove it. Every poll i won slate. The vote in the poll. I won time magazine. I won cbs. Seth thats right he won cbs, which is news to cbs as their chief White House Correspondent tweeted this morning, quote, donald trump said he won a cbs news post debate poll, we did not conduct a post debate poll. [ laughter and applause ] come on cbs, let him have this one thing. He had a very hard night. This poor man. Trumps biggest problem was his own lack oep he couldnt even be bothered to prepare for the most important 90 minutes of his campaign and it showed. Like for example on terrorism he could have tried to engage in a serious debate about isis and how to defeat it. Instead he got into this back and forth with hillary. Well at least i have a plan to fight isis. No, no. Youre telling the enemy everything you want to do. No were not. No were not. See youre telling the enemy everything you want to do. No wonder youve been fighting no wonder youve been fighting isis your entire adult life. Seth thats right. She has been fighting isis her [ laughter ] which lead to this fact check from the associated press. One of the better fact checks in history. Hillary clinton was born in 1947 and is 68yearsold. She reached adult hood in 1965. The Islamic State group grew out of an al qaeda spin off, al qaeda in iraq, in 2013. [ laughter and applause ] although although, i guess its not surprising someone had to explain to trump when hasnt reached it. [ laughter ] and then there was this moment when trump claimed the hack earlier this year of the Democratic National committee might not have been committed by russia. I dont think anybody knows it was russia that broke into the dnc. Shes saying russia, russia, russia, but i dont maybe it was. I mean it could be russia, but it could also be china. Could also be lots of other people it also could be somebody sitting on their bed that weighs 400 pounds, okay. Seth wow. Trump is so superficial he even [ laughter ] china. Why does he say it like that . Could be russia. It could be china. [ laughter ] but maybe the most insane answer trump gave was his answer on cyber warfare. Now i feel like we have a tendency to get lost in trumps showmanship, his performance, so weve been doing something on the show lately where we read his answers rather than watch him say them. So im just going to flatly read y these are his words. Quote, when you look at what isis is doing with the internet theyre beating us at our own game, isis. So we have to get very, very tough on cyber and cyber warfare. It is. It is a huge problem. I have a son. Hes 10yearsold. He has computers. He is so good with these computers. Its unbelievable. The security aspect of cyber is very, very tough. Whole governmental society. We have so many things that we have to do better, lester, and certainly cyber is one of them. [ laughter ] he talks about tech like lenny brisko in a 20yearold episode of law and order. We got a warrant for your floppies. [ laughter ] but there was another revealing moment last night that i feel like might get lost in all the post debate chatter. Trump basically admitted that he pays no federal income taxes. Hes refused to release his tax returns, so we dont know how much of anything he pays in taxes. Tipped his hand with these exchanges last night. He didnt pay any federal income tax. So that makes me smart. If hes paid, you havent paid any federal income tax for a lot of years and the other thing i think is important. It would be squandered too, believe me. Seth oh, the government would squander your money, says the guy who covers his penthouse in gold like an old prospector who just won the lottery. [ laughter ] but if you were paying close attention you might have caught doesnt pay any federal income taxes. In the end even if youre a trump supporter you have to admit last night was not a great night for the gop nominee. He could have said a lot of Unanswered Questions if he just released tax returns. And if he had done it last night everybody in that audience would have gone oh. Seth this has been a closer look. . . [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with samuel l. Jackson. [ cheers and applause ] mom, i have to tell you something. Dad, one second i was driving and then the next. They just didnt stop and then. Im really sorry. I wrecked the subaru. I wrecked it. All that matters. vo a lifetime commitment to getting them home safely. Love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. I love my shop, but my back pain was making it hard to sleep and open up on time. Then i found aleve pm. The only one to combine a sleep aid plus the 12 hour pain relieving strength of aleve. Now im back. Aleve pm for a better am. . . Its the Little Things that make life rich. Ritz. Your car got rearended and you needed a tow. No. It said, blah blah blah blah. The Liberty Mutual app with coverage compass . Makes it easy to know what youre covered for and what youre not. Liberty mutual insurance. Initiating retrieval sequence. Activating thrusters. Target acquired. Dang it ah come on take a break from the election with red or blue tea. . . [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back to late night, everybody. Please give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also back with us tonight, hes an incredible drummer and his band tool are threetime grammy everybody. [ cheers and applause ] there he is. And be sure to look out for a new album from tool coming sometime soon. Thank you so much for being here, danny. Such a pleasure. [ cheers and applause ] thanks for having me. Seth our first guest tonight is an oscar nominated actor you know from films like pulp fiction and django unchained. You can see him in miss peregrines home for peculiar children, which hits theaters september 30th. Lets take a look. I saw you at your grandfathers. Peregrines address from him. But alas, my traveling companion got to him before i did. Speaking of my traveling companion, hes coming and believe me when i say to you, you dont want to be here when he arrives. Seth please welcome back to the show samuel l. Jackson. [ cheers and applause ] . . Seth how are you . I am excellent. Seth its always such a pleasure to have you here. Thank you, its always a pleasure to be here too. Seth you always show up with good products. You always have good films. And you do a lot of films, and yet youre consistently good. Okay. To ask, because youve had such a long career, successful career. You are a confident person. Yes. Seth yet when i think back or when you think back to when you were an actor early on, were you always this confident when you walked into a room to audition . Yeah i always figured that if my agent sent me out five times a week i was going to book two jobs. Seth oh, wow. And you know, you reach a point where you go through the audition with the same dudes all the time. And it was kind of cool here in new york, because you run into people on the train or you run into tin audition so you all walk together, you go to the audition, you get there, you come out. You know, you do this and go through the next one and you reach a point where you know you booked enough jobs that people are kind of leery of you. Seth okay. So you go in the room and you stay in there a little while longer and you come out and you just come out and tell everybody, all right, yall can go. [ laughter ] you know. And everybody is like [ laughter ] is that real or what . Seth you psych out the competition. Totally. Seth and you now, i want to point out that you were friends with and hung out with. Denzel. Yeah. Seth larry fishburne. Yup. Seth morgan freeman. Yup. Seth wesley snipes. You guys were all friends at the same time. Thats insane to me that you all knew each other back then. It was a tight group of people i had. Jim pickens, who was on greys anatomy. Seth sure. He was in that. You know, brent jennings. There was a lot of people. Ellis williams. Great people that still work. Seth was it fun or did you guys so back then no money . Well, wed pool our money and eat. You know. [ light laughter ] seth okay. We had a lot of greys papaya back in the day. Seth okay. Yeah, man. You get a bunch of dogs there. You get like 4 together you were living large. [ light laughter ] seth so, thats new york back in the day. You last film, we just saw a clip, you shot in blackpool, england. Yes. Seth is blackpool, england the new york of england . Blackpool is the jersey shore of the u. K. [ light laughter ] seth okay. You know, basically. Seth so its a coast town. Yes, a coast town. Its got an interesting boardwalk, you know. Its got a wax museum. Theories. Seth okay. It sells a lot of salt water taffy. Seth do you enjoy salt water taffy . I actually do. Seth you do . Im going to take the salt water taffy thats in my dressing room, actually. Theres a box. Seth oh yeah, we have it for guests. Yeah, im seth you take it . Im definitely housing that. Seth okay, great. [ laughter ] so theres that going on. On the weekends, there are a lot of bridal parties. Seth oh, okay. Theres at least five to seven bridal parties come to town. You know, pack of nine nine to 10 girls. Seth do you ever stumble by . Do they ever see sam jackson . Oh yeah. Se