Here from other countries, youre definitely not americans. What we tonight is a group of People United by a common goal which as strong desire to get away from the scary and foulsmelling individuals dressed up as spiderman outside our building. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to you. Are you tired of the election yet, are you sick of it . [ cheers and applause ] im not, i love it. Donald trump, you really have to hand it to him, i dont ive been this interested in a show since the first season of lost. Every week, a completely new twist. Weve gone from mexicans to muslims, little hands to lyin ted, megan ankle lin to melanias speech, crooked hillarys health to billy bushs bus. Now hes saying the election is rigged, even though it hasnt happened yet. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] he spent the whole weekend, donald trump, he spent the complaining. Hes been camplaining is what he does. Tweeting up a storm how the election is rigged by the Dishonest Media and hes right. You can tell the media is rigged against donald trump because they keep putting microphones in front of him. [ laughter ] as you know trump is being accused of sexual sisterconduct by a slew of women. Of course that is a case of he said and she said, she said, she said, she said, she said. There are a bunch of Trump Supporters that have to defend him on these most notably former new york mayor rudy giuliani. One can only assume giuliani spent the last 28 years living in giulianis pants. Here he was yesterday with jake tapper of cnn. Do you believe every one of these women is lying . No, i believe my friend donald trump when he says he didnt do it. Ive known him 20 years, ive never seen him do anything like that. Jimmy not only has rudy Something Like that, he did it to him. Oh, you dirty boy, oh, oh donald, i thought you were a gentlem gentleman, hm cant say i didnt try. Jimmy it is true, its nearly impossible to resist a woman as sexy as rudy giuliani. [ laughter ] tonights chapter, Melania Trump sat down with Anderson Cooper on cnn to try to help stop the bleeding and she had an interesting take on this hollywood bus tape. They were kind of boy talk. And he was lead on like egg on from the host to say dirty and bad stuff. You feel theilly bush, was sort of egging him on . Yes. Jimmy thats right, this is because of that little bully billy bush he forced him to say those things, he probably threatened to beat donald trump up if he didnt say those things i heard many different stuff. Boys talk. I the boys, the way they talk when they grow up, and they want to sometimes show each other, oh, this and that and talking about the girls. But yeah, i was surprised, of course. Jimmy right, you know, boy talk. Just a 68yearold boy. [ laughter ] talking all dis and know how they do. It only took melania a couple of weeks to come up with that defense but it was really worth it, it was. While melanias trying to calm things down donald continues to crisscross the country yelling and screaming he would never sexually harass such unattractive women. At a rally in North Carolina he took issue with one accusers account of her experience and we slow that down for tonights edition of drunk donald trump. [ tape playing very slow ] much. Honestly, folks, i dont sit alone. I go in always sitting alone by myself. Like this. And then i went, wow. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy the third and final debate is on wednesday night. And trump is now calling for a drug test, for real, he challenged Hillary Clinton to take a drug test befor debate. Why, i dont know. I guess insinuating shes on drus. Whatever the reason, i have to say i like this idea of drugs a lot. Am i the only one who thinks hillary and trump should definitely do drugs before the debate . [ cheers and applause ] can you imagine . Imagine hillary the moment the mushrooms kick in. It would be great. The greatest thing ever. Meanwhile, secretary clinton is on the trail too. She weighed in on everything thats going on with some hip lingo that is sure to make the young voters come running. America that he has not targeted. Now, it makes you want to turn off the news. It makes you want to unplug the internet. Or just look at cat gifs. Believe me, i get it. In the last few weeks ive watched a lot of cat dozen a lot of weird and interesting things. Jimmy maybe she is on drus i dont know. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy cat gifs . Hillarys running mate virginia senator tim kaine has been hablaing espanol as much as possible. He became the first candidate on a president ial ticket to deliver a speech entirely in spanish. This is tim kaine in miami, the whole thing in spanish. We asked our chief translate for us. [ speaking spanish ] guillermo for of years enrichment i was an avocado. Look at me now. I am a vir jip. Hillarys a person. She works at hooters in chicago. Shes a donkey lady. Your vote is important. Lets have sex. Jimmy well, thank you. Graci gracias, guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] meanwhile, here in l. A. Right now, the contest that we are focused on is the one between the dodgers and cubs. Dodgers evened the series last night in chicago. Its tied 11. Our local news channel ktla was capture the excitement of dodger fans in tonights edition of excellence in reporting. Now weve got games three, four, five at home. Your words really quickly . Go dodgers. Sending it back to you in the studio. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy as you can see the town is going nuts. People are eating eggs. For those who dont know or didnt know, i have very bad news. Today was National Boss day. National boss day started in 1958 by a real asskisser id like to find the guy who started that and give him a wedgie he would never forget. In honor of National Boss day we went on the street, invited people to say a few words about their bosses. To ensure they were able to speak freely we let them wear masks. This is what masked employees im sick and tired of no support at your company. When we answer our phones with your mean customers. Money and benefits are not enough. Where do you work . Charter communications. Whats your boss name . Bill. Want to give bill a shoutout . Go suck it, bill you are stand and look out the window at hollywood boulevard all day while we are busting our butts doing our little work. How did you become the manager . Where do you work . Jc global. Oh, i shouldnt have said that. Anything youd like to say to your boss . One thing i like to say to my boss, i would like a promotion, i would like a little bit more money. Have you asked your boss for a raise . [ laughter ] no. Because of the mask, i said that because of the mask. Anything you want to anonymously say to your boss . A little bit racist, pretty racist. Happy National Boss day, your racist ass. Meet some black people, chill out, doug. That would be my thing. Whats your name . Andrew. Where are you from . El paso. What did you do . Server. What kind of restaurant . Village inn. Anything you want to say to your boss . Dude, whats your problem . Like why dont you let me help people . You never let me do anything. Like yeah. Whats your boss name . Serena. Yeah, shes a [ bleep ]. There was no way serena at the village inn in el paso is going to know its you. Really . You never want me to go above and beyond, i dont understand you, youre the laziest person on earth, im doing more to help you, youre being a [ bleep ], i dont understand why you have to be like that. You know what, now thinking about it, the fact that you gave their name and the restaurant and your name, they might catch on. Oh, they might . All right. [ bleep ] you, serena. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] guillermo jimmy, i got you a gift for National Boss jimmy you got me this for National Boss day . Did you just run out and buy this . Guillermo no. [ laughter ] jimmy you didnt just run out and buy this . Guillermo no. Jimmy when did you buy it . Guillermo buy it this afternoon. Jimmy well. Can we look at the security footage outside the studio from are you sticking with the story you didnt buy this . Guillermo i wouldnt do that to you, you know i love you. I love you. Jimmy lets see what you got me. [ cheers and applause ] what is this . Oh, this is nice. Its a little shirt that says girls club. Guillermo i know you like girls. Oh, thank you, guillermo. Thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy lets take a break. When we come back, to be good when we come back. We have we lined up three real people who have unfortunate names. We have a guy named donald trump, a woman named isis, a 61yearold firefighter named bill cosby. Theyll be with whuls we come back so stick around. [ cheers and applause ] . Man, im glad aflac pays cash. No whos gonna help cover the holes in their plans . Aflac like rising copays and deductibles. Aflac or help pay the mortgage . Or child care . Aflaaac and everyday expenses . Aflac learn about one day pay at aflac. Com boat blurlbrlblrlbr its Olive Gardens never ending pasta bowl inations of your favorite pastas, sauces and toppings. Now including chicken alfredo. Plus unlimited salad and breadsticks. Its all never ending, but only for a limited time. At olive garden. Every day starts better with a healthy smile. Start yours with Philips Sonicare, the no. 1 choice of dentists. Compared to oralb 7000, Philips Sonicare flexcare platinum removes significantly more plaque. This is the sound of Sonic Technology cleaning deep between teeth. Hear the difference . Vs a manual toothbrush and experience an amazing feel of clean. Innovation and you. Philips sonicare. Save now when you buy Philips Sonicare. Philips sonicare. Inside the rack houses of jim beam, s, for a fuller, smoother flavor. Our history is made from the inside. Jimmy hi, there, welcome back to the show. Ewan mcgregor, Cobie Smulders, music from the 1975 is on the way. Right now its time to present it may be educational too. Well meet three individuals, each shares a name with a famous person or organization. We scoured the country for people who have a whatever reason has earned them unwanted attention. And lets fire up the big cisco screen, the wall of america, and say hello to our first visitor. Hello there, what is your name . Hey, hows it going . Donald trump. Jimmy your real name, on your birth certificate, is donald trump . Yes. Yes, sir. It is donald trump. Jimmy your wife jamika. How long have you been married . 15 years. [ cheers and applause ] . Did you take donalds last name . Are you a trump too . Yes. Jimmy so you are jamika trump . Yes. Jimmy i know youve been married 15 years, is jamika your first, second or third wife, donald . His only wife. Jimmy first, very good. First and only. First and only. Jimmy very good answer. Now what is the best thing that has happened to you as a result of sharing this famous name . One recent experience with a manager from a restaurant, a local and i made a reservation with them. Once i got to the restaurant, he was like, you know, hey, donald trump. Great, you know, im voting for you, man. You know, inside joke. And we always get reservations and tickets whenever. Any time i call the guy or send a text, hell immediately reply back, i got you, youre good for two, for four jimmy what restaurant is jimmys seafood in baltimore. Jimmy maybe i could get something out of them too. [ laughter ] we got the same name. Jimmy what is the worst thing thats happened to you as a result of being donald trump . Well, it really kind of happened to me because of being that im africanamerican. Jimmy you . [ laughter ] yes. Jimmy why wasnt i informed of this beforehand . Some people, like, oh, i cant believe hes a racist, you need to jimmy oh, really . Yeah. I say, i dont like either one of them so im not changing anything. Jimmy do you have kids . Donald trump jr. , hes over here. Jimmy hey, donald trump jr. , whats going on . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its somewhat confusing. Wow. Thats fantastic. This is my baby. Jimmy well, i dont know if you guys have vacation plans but stay out of mexico, all right . [ laughter ] jimmy thank you, trump family. Thats the trump family. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy lets meet our next name. Thank you, guys. What is your name, maam . Hi, jimmy. Im isis graham. Jimmy isis graham. Your real name is isis . Yes. Jimmy and youre in berlin. Jimmy have you had problems being named isis . Security guys always look at my passport and say sure . Yes, sir, im really sure. Jimmy have you considered changing your name perhaps to al qaeda or something a little less controversial . Hm, yeah. Maybe. I dont know, maybe ivana, i dont know. Jimmy what do you do for a living, isis . Im a deejay and i work on a music school in calgary in canada. Jimmy very good. Go around and play music. Jimmy maybe you should go by well, look at that. Weve located isis, theyre in berlin. [ laughter ] hi jimmy thank you, isis. [ cheers and applause ] one more gentleman to talk to. Hello, sir. Tell us your name. Bill cosby. [ laughter ] jimmy that is bill cosby. Not only do you have the name, you look exactly like him. [ laughter ] thank you, thank you very much. Jimmy the sweater is not as colorful as i would have imagined it might be. Had to get rid of [ laughter ] jimmy bill, youre a fireman, right . Yes, i am. Jimmy have you ever met bill cosby . I actually did meet him once, yes. Jimmy you did, where did you meet him . Yeah, i met him in brighton, mass. And he was outside waiting for a ride. And i went up to him and i said, hey, mr. Cosby, look at this name i have. Caused me a lot of trouble. And he looked at me, he said, me too, son. Jimmy well, things have changed a lot over the last years. How does it feel to be americas most beloved bill cosby now . Yeah, its not working out too well for me. Jimmy bill, when somebodys house is on fire and they call 911, do they tell them, dont worry, bill cosby is on the way to save you . Yeah, probably not. I imagine they wouldnt want to do do that. Time, bill. Appreciate it. There you go. Thanks to bill cosby. Thanks to donald trump and isis too. Tonight on the show, music from the 1975. Cobie smulders is here. Well be right back with Ewan Mcgregor [ cheers and applause ] . Dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by masterpass, the simple and secure way to pay from your bank. Every four years when we got restationed but theres always more changes to come. The first thing that we would do when we would get into our new place was set up the beds. And when i go to t. J. Maxx i buy good quality things that are going to last a long time. Everything i get there, i get at a lower price. Shopping at t. J. Maxx is always like a bonding experience. Discover real value worth sharing. I just think that home, its wherever your family is. Maxx life at t. J. Maxx. Your Insurance Company wont replace the full value of your totaled new car. The guy says, you picked the wrong insurance plan. With new car replacement . , well replace the full value of your car plus depreciation. Liberty mutual insurance. Recently, a 1954 mercedesbenz grand prix race car made history when it sold for a record price of just under 30 million. And now, another mercedesbenz makes history selling at just over 30,000. Lease the cla250 for 299 a month at your local mercedesbenz dealer. Hes divisive and dangerous. Uh, i dont know what i said. Uh. I dont remember. But congressman hardy supports trump 100 and said hell do whatever trump wants him to do. And that seniors who rely on programs like Social Security are a draw on government. Donald trump and congressman hardy divisive and dangerous. Dccc is responsible for the content of this advertising. Jimmy tonight from the new movie jack reacher never go back. Called, i like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it, the 1975 from the crown royal outdoor stage. Thats a long album title. The title is actually longer than the album itself. Tomorrow, tom cruise will be here, Tilda Swinton will join us, Kenny Loggins will be sitting in with the cletones, plus music from X Ambassadors and tom morello. And on wednesday night, were live after the debate with gal gadot and gary johnson, who is the Libertarian Party nominee for president. Poor gary. I hope i dont ask him any questions. [ laughter ] and thursday, benedict cumberbatch, isla fisher, and music from flatbush zbi so join us for all of that. After visiting paris in moulin rouge and the planet naboo in star wars, our first guest travels to exotic new jersey to direct and star in the film adaptation of philip roths pulitzer prizewinning novel american pastoral. You dont know anything about our mother. Lady dawn . The daughter of the beauty queen and the captain of the Football Team . What kind of nightmare is that for a girl with a soul . She works a farm like an upperclass landowner her father was a plumber, her grandfather was an irish milk farmer. This is crazy. Wheres my daughter . Somebody is dead. My daughter is accused of murder. Youre really hung up on that, arent you . Jimmy american pastoral opens in theaters on friday, please welcome Ewan Mcgregor [ cheers and applause ] . Jimmy how are you doing . Very good to see you. How are you . Jimmy im doing well. Your costar and a woman you directed in this film, Jennifer Conley was here last week. I saw it. Jimmy she told the story about a wig, a merkin, that she had to have applied to her lady parts. She lent it to you, i think. [ laughter ] jimmy oh, if only that were true. I was wondering, since youre was that something you decided on . No, no. No, i think thats up to the actor. Jimmy is it up to the actor . Yeah, because its a scene where her character, dawn, falls apart. Has a nervous breakdown. Jimmy right. And we had decided that that would be best displayed or shown, if you like, by her appearing in my place of work in the nude, only wearing her miss i wanted to be able to shoot her fully naked but from a distance, very tasteful about it, i made sure she knew i wasnt about to be pervy about it or anything. And the merkin as i believe its called in the trade is totally a modesty piece for the actor. Jimmy it is . Yeah, and also you discussed it with her. It was the you know. Jimmy i know but i wanted to p