Choke it down, now available everywhere. Is the bleep exit over here . Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, stephen welcomes sting Thandie Newton featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen hey hey, everybody cheers and applause cheers and applause thank you down here, up there nice to see you nice to be seen. Thank you audience chanting Stephen Stephen oh, thats nice. Thats nice. Thanks, everybody. cheers and applause youre very kind. Welcome to the late show, everybody. Thanks so much. Welcome to the late show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause hey, so this is all still happening. Donald trump is really going to be the next president. audience booing yeah, you have been reading my journal. For a while, i was poking myself with a straight pin to try and wake up from this, but now i just keep doing it to feel something. Intelligence briefing known as the book, making it the only book he owns that doesnt have his picture on it. laughter and, today, the transfer of power began, when president obama hosted trump at the white house for the most surprising remake of guess whos coming to dinner. laughter didnt see that one. cheers and applause i didnt see that one coming. Ji coming, either. laughter stephen can you imagine, just put yourself in that room, in that private room when they were together. Can you imagine . Awkward laughter the first African American president sitting down with a president elect who was endorsed by the klan . A guy who spent five years, created his political career, demanding obama prove where he what did they talk about . What was the tour like . as obama all right, donald, this is the blue room, over there is the red room, and down that hall is the office i said you were fundamentally unfit for. Librarys downstairs. laughter now, getting trump up to speed for the new job might be a challenge because he will be the first u. S. President to have never held any elected office or served in any branch of the military. In fact, donald trump is so prived ever had to apply for was president of the united states. laughter obama i think its have you watched obama . Have you heard him yesterday . Have you seen him today . Jon yeah. Stephen youve got to give it up for the guy. Its amazing. Hes being so good cheers and applause ive never been prouder. That must be the most amazing thing hes ever done. Hes being so good about this transition that his team even made a special multimedia on the relationship between the executive branch and the legislative. . Im just a bill yes, im only a bill . And im sitting here on capitol hill . . Stephen . Oh, its a long, long way . . They let him take it home, of course. Hes going to need a few repeat viewings to get it all down. They also taught him what a conjunction was. laughter . Interjection . Of course ive got to breathe every so often. This all good fun, but ive got to take a couple of deep breaths every so often or im going to pass out. laughter now, trump wasnt alone. Future first lady melania was there for a private meeting with michelle obama, to ensure the peaceful transition of speeches. And laughter and applause very important with pride. America, america is the envy of the world in that regard. So those are like the about, you know, the candidates, the incoming president. But to be honest, my heart sincerely goes out to everyone who works at the obama white house. I cant imagine how hard this must be. And i dont have to imagine it, because theres this picture of the white house staff watching as obama congratulated trump yesterday. A picture is worth a thousand words, none of which im allowed to say on cbs. cheers and applause after the meeting, trump and obama spoke in front of the press from the oval office, where trump was seated with a bust of m. L. K. Looming over his shoulder. Okay, obama put that there. When he got in, when he got in there, the bush people had who did they have . Churchill. When obama came in, he replaced it with a bust of Martin Luther king. When trump comes in, hes going to replace that with a bust of the burger king. laughter president elect trump thought the meeting went very well. This was a meeting that was going to last for maybe ten or 15 minutes, and we were just going to get to know each other. We had never met each other. The meeting lasted for almost an hour and a half. Stephen thats right. It was supposed to be just ten minutes, but trump demanded the on laughter after the meeting yeah. laughter after the meeting, press secretary josh earnest went into more detail. President obama came away from the meeting with. Renewed confidence. Stephen ive got to say, his answer does not give me. Renewed confidence. laughter applause but, we did but, we did get some reassurance from r. N. C. Chair and trump pocket elf, Reince Priebus. Priebus told reporters, donald trump is taking this very seriously. Well, i got to say, the fact that Reince Priebus found it necessary to say that out loud gives me. Renewed confidence. laughter applause just like id have if i was on a plane and, right before takeoff, the pilot hopped on the intercom and said, ah, this is your take flying this plane very seriously. laughter applause and there is proof trumps taking it seriously because he has already put up a new transition website with the name www. Greatagain. Gov. Hes got a dot gov that is one of the most disturbing thing ive ever seen on theer laughter and greatagain. Gov shows just how seriously trump is taking the new gig, starting with a page that says help wanted, which is how a lot of people feel right now. laughter and if you, yourself, out there, if youre looking for work, they are all ready to hire. The site says they need 4,000 president ial appointees, including positions with and without senate confirmations. They also put up this flyer government wanted no experience needed. laughter and just tear that off and the website also shows how serious trump is about fulfilling the Central Campaign promise of his hat, because theres a form you can fill out to answer the question, how do you want to make America Great . Oh, oh, oh, ah maybe, elect someone who already knows how to do that cheers and applause can we fill that in . I dont know if we jon yeah, yeah. Stephen now now, when it comes to filling cabinet positions, trump has cast a wide net, starting with donald trump, jr. Hey, hey, don, sr. . If youre trying to tone down the whole dictator thing, maybe dont give a cabinet position to your son, kim jong trump. laughter its a little on the nose, okay . The leading candidate for attorney general is rudy giuliani. audience reacts excuse me. Ive got, ive got something i need to do here. Excuse me one second. Attention, black people. Attention, black people. Starting january 20, please build an extra 30 minutes into your daily schedule for the nationwide stopandfrisk. laughter and, for sec laughter vomiting over a microphone. laughter applause and guys, its probably not going to happen, because this is just a prop. Its not connected to anything. laughter and for secretary of state, trump is considering former speaker of the house and angry sack of ricotta cheese, Newt Gingrich. laughter audience reacts thats not bad. Ive got to say, that one is not bad. I personally could support sending Newt Gingrich out of the and for secretary of agriculture, trump is considering texas sid miller, who caused a firestorm just days ago, after his campaigns official twitter account referred to Hillary Clinton as a c word. audience reacts folks, i believe that kind of language has no place in our political discourse. Is something i would have said 48 hours ago. applause now, for education secretary, insiders are speculating that among those who may be on the short list is creationist audience booing so no, no, get ready for the new history textbooks, bleep i made up about egypt. But hey, hey applause piano riff laughter keep it light but hey, dont worry, ladies. Youre not left out. Youll be represented in trumps palin. audience reacts as palin yep, hows that Hopey Changey stuff goin . Drill, baby, drill. Forget about yosemite park, yosemite sam now uncle sam. Sam i am. Dont go bugging, tree hugging bloggers because im calling the loggers. Were frackin old faithful, youre going be grateful, executions in the sports stadiums. Arrest your enemies. Tie a typewriter around his neck, what the heck, shoot him, hes getting away. Tag, trig, trip, knick knack, paddywhack, tick tock out of dl e. T. , phone home, snow machine. cheers and applause god, shes exhausting laughter and, what . Im being told the grand canyon has committed suicide. It jumped into itself. laughter thats right. Trumps plan to drain the swamp gingrich, and palin. Makes sense. Theyre exactly what id expect to find at the bottom of a drained swamp. cheers and applause now, if youre one of the small minority of the majority of voters who didnt vote for trump, just remember all through the campaign, he assured us that he was going to surround himself with the best and the brightest. People for the job. I would use the greatest minds. We are going to have the smartest, the best negotiators in the world, and i know most of them and, believe me, i know people you have never heard of who are better than the ones that you did hear of. Stephen oh, good, oh, good, because the ones i did hear of are a pile of garbage. And then laughter cheers and applause and then, were not done then theres Trumps White House staff. I know i am super excited to she was Trumps Campaign director of African American outreach. Oh, newsflash the Trump Campaign was doing African American outreach. And evidently, hiring omarosa was all of it. Well, on election night, we got a glimpse of the future when, after hearing that former republican candidate Lindsay Graham did not vote for donald trump, omarosa told a reporter, its so great our enemies are making themselves clear so that, when we get in to the white i would never judge anybody for exercising their right to and the freedom to choose who they want. But let me just tell you, mr. Trump has a long memory, and were keeping a list. audience reacts wow. An enemies list. They went from zero to nixon in no time flat. applause now, thats all worth noting. Thats worth noting, because some people in late night have said one or two things that were critical of donald trump. laughter heat of election night, right . So, surely, if omarosa did more of a sitdown interview, she wouldnt paint the Trump Administration as some vindictive predator savoring its chance to use the office of the president for payback. Every critic, every detractor, will have to bow down to president trump. Its everyone whos ever doubted donald, who ever disagreed, who ever challenged him. It is the ultimate revenge, to become the most powerful man in the universe stephen it was sam bee and seth myers theyre the ones who said all those horrible things about you i was just joking the whole time. All hail our glorious leader giant hands youve got giant hands youre going to be great cheers and applause . Is what a pussy would say. cheers and applause cheers and applause wait a second here. Wait a second. Wait a second. audience chanting stephen sit down, sit down, sit down stick around, everybody. Tonight sting is here sting Thandie Newton dont go away cheers and applause jon batiste . . As soon as i became a parent i changed as a person, drastically. But when we brought our daughter home that was it. . Now i have nicoderm cq. The nicoderm cq patch with unique extended release Technology Helps prevent your urge to smoke all day. Its the best thing that ever happened to me. Can you say thanks nicoderm cq . Every great why needs a great how. . . Is that coffee . Yea, its nespresso. I want in. . . Youre ready. . . Is that coffee . Nespresso. What else . Oh caroline. So corporate put you up in a roadside motel. But with directv from at t, you can download then binge watch your dvrd shows from anywhere. That makes you more powerful than whatever it is you just stepped in. Or that friendly dumpster diver outside. I wouldnt sit there. Ur dvr anywhere, at no extra cost, with directv from at t. . they say the best gifts come from the heart. No. They come from the stomach. And receive a 10 bonus card for yourself. Only at applebees. Emerge restored. Fortified. Replenished. Emerge everyday with emergenc packed with b vitamins, antioxidants, electrolytes plus more vitamin c than 10 oranges. Why not feel this good everyday . . cheers and applause stephen welcome back thank you, eddie jon batiste, everybody. Say happy birthday to jon batiste, ladies and gentlemen. Happy birthday, jon jon thank you stephen i hope you have a very, very happy and blessed one. Thank you for being here. The gift is that youre here tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, my first guest tonight is a 16time grammy award winner. Hes releasing a new album tomorrow called 57th 9th. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the great sting cheers and applause . . . cheers and applause stephen welcome to the show. What a lovely welcome. That sounded very scottish, didnt it . Stephen yeah. Any old style over there. Welcome to the show. Nice to see you. I havent seen you in a few years. Thats true. Stephen as a matter of fact, the last time i saw you, i think, was at your 60th birthday concert, the beacon . The beacon theater, five years ago. Stephen yeah, five years ago. Youre 65 years old. Yeah. Im proud. Stephen as a man whos 52, you go to hell. laughter i want to tell you, on the drive home, i was with my wife on the drive home and youre wearing Something Like this the whole time, a mesh kind of shirt. And on the drive home and my wife supercasually, as if she just thought of it, she goes, have you have you ever thought about doing yoga . laughter okay, so thanks, thanks for that. Do you feel all smug over there now . No, not at all. We had a similar shock in june when 52 voted brexit. I voted to stay. And now we stephen all youre going to do is destroy the European Union. True, but were right in the middle of a constitutional crisis that no one is smart enough to figure out. Stephen what is it . Because the warlords decided that parliament has to debate the terms of leaving. Leave didnt want to do that, they wanted to bypass parliament. So its really complicated. Stephen oh, so its not, like, written down someplace . If you want to get out, put slot a in tab b and youre out of the European Union . No, its far more complicated than just saying yes or no. Its a diabolical problem. Stephen wow. So you have to get all that figured out ahead of time. Probably a good idea for us over here, too. laughter but you dont live in london . I love new york. cheers and applause stephen what is it you love about new york . London is a great town. Why do you live over here . I love new yorkers. cheers and applause theyre very up front. And they see you i walk on the street a lot, and they see you, say hi, sting, i like your music, you suck, whatever, you know, but its a very direct, comfortable relationship we have. laughter stephen well, your new album is called 5 there, and there you are at the corner of 57th and 9th. Why did you call the album that . I live on the upper west side, and my studios in hells kitchen. And i walk to work every day. And on the way, i have to stop at 57th, because its a twoway street, traffic is busy, cab drivers trying to kill you, as you know. And i would just use that time to do a little meditation on corner, and think about the work my life, the privilege i have living here in the city. Cross the road, go to work, and on the way back have the same meditation, so i thought it was a very useful point in the day to take stock. Stephen you know what i love about new york . You can walk around the city and youve got a pretty good chance of going, hey, dont stare, but thats sting meditating over there on the corner. laughter and applause thats what i like about new york. You can see all kinds of things here. This album, people are calling you, like, your first rock album in ten years . Yes, it is. I play rock and roll every night of my working life, but in the past ten years i have been making more esoteric records. Stephen hurdygurdy. Hurdygurdy. I played that once. Stephen i liked it. Im a huge im a madrigal fan. Me, too. But i was just following my curiosity, i was just following my muse because i can. But i like to surprise people. Record has received, so i feel its already a success. Stephen people often ask me, wow, you meet all these famous people. Are you ever intimidated by, you know, celebrities or politicians or anything like that . And i always say, the only people who really intimidate me are musicians, even nice ones who are easy to talk to, like you. Because you do something thats magical, something that i dont understand. And i want to quote you, to see if you can explain this to me song writing is much like trying to catch a wild animal. You cannot kill the beast. You have to somehow trick him into being captured, and you can never use the same trick twice. What are some of the tricks . What is the magic that you use . I would get home from the studio at night with a song structure, only a song structure, and on the walk home, i would be thinking, how am i going to make this into a song . So i get home to my home on Central Park West and lock myself out on the terrace in the i had finished a lyric. Its madness, but stephen yeah, true. You put yourself out of a comfort zone so that you can create. You have to write yourself out of the problem, and the song youll hear tonight is exactly that song, its about freezing cold, about hunting for laughter hunting for inspiration in the cold. You will hear it. Stephen if you locked yourself in the closet, would the song be about, its hot and cramped . Yeah, it would. Havent written that one yet. laughter take a little break, but well be right back with more sting. Stick around, everybody. cheers and applause . . . Youve done your research, and you know its a good time to refinance. But youve put it off until you can make the time to call the bank and gather all the paperwork. To refinance your home. Or, you could pu