Russian president Vladimir Putin yesterday cast doubts on the unverified reports that donald trump hired prostitutes in moscow. Though he added that russian prostitutes are quote, undoubtedly the best in the world. [ laughter ] he continued, in fact, you might say, theyre number one, right mr. Trump . [ laughter ] ha ha ha ha ha ha. We have the tape. [ light laughter ] in a newly resurfaced 2015 interview donald trump claimed that he met russian president Vladimir Putin and that they quote, got along great. Thats right. They were like two peas in a bed. [ laughter ] [ applause ] Trump Officials told cnn yesterday that donald trump wrote the first draft of his inauguration address himself, and today trump tweeted out this picture of himself supposedly working on it. [ laughter ] i have so many questions. First of all, is he sitting in the fountain at a Mexican Restaurant . [ laughter and applause ] also why is he writing like that . Were not going to copy off of you. [ laughter ] looks like hes signing for a package. Dude, you dont need to prove youre writing the speech. We all know you wrote it when it starts with, how great is this . [ laughter ] stop taking stupid pictures. Go to your briefings. This is important. Vice President Joe Biden said today that figuring out Donald Trumps plans for Foreign Policy is like solving a rubiks cube, which is silly. Getting all the colors on different sides is his domestic policy. [ audience ohs ] [ applause ] im okay with it. Ill allow it. Joe biden said that figuring out Donald Trumps plans for Foreign Policy is like solving a rubiks cube. Said trump, whats the big deal . You peel off the stickers, you put them on the same side. Boom, solved. [ laughter ] and the littler the hands the better. [ laughter ] donald trump still has reportedly still been using his personal cell phone and will answer calls from unknown numbers. This according to joe biden at a slumber party. [ laughter ] [ applause ] melania. Melania, is our refrigerator running . [ laughter ] today was National Thesaurus day, which is not only stupid, its also stupid. [ laughter ] if there was a better word i would have used it. Finally, former baseball star Alex Rodriguez has announced he will be hosting a reality show featuring retired athletes who are struggling financially. The show will be called, why you should have cheated. [ audience ohs ] [ cheers and applause ] we have a fantastic show for you guys tonight. He is the star of the great new film the founder. Hes one of my favorite actors and a fantastic guy. Michael keaton is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] its a big deal. Also, she is the star of foxs bon,eshi wch is in its 12th and final season. Emily deschanel joins us this evening. [ cheers and applause ] and he has a fantastic new comedy special on netflix, 3 mics. Es one of my very best friends. Neal brennan is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] so its a good evening. Its a good evening to be here. Now, we did not have enough time to cover all of the recent news, so here with a recap to catch us up is one of our writers, amber ruffin, in a segment we call amber says what . [ cheers and applause ] thanks, seth. First off, i read that the bbc cancelled a show about Michael Jackson. And i was like, what . Then, i heard it was because Michael Jackson was being played by this white guy and i was like, what . [ laughter ] and then, i saw they made him up to look like this and i was like, what were you thinking . Then president barack obama gave his final speech and i was like, what . Then he was like, Going Forward we must uphold laws against discrimination, and i was like, what, what. [ laughter ] then he was like, michelle, youre my best friend. And i was like, what . [ laughter and applause ] then hr started to tear up and then they cut to michelle and she started to tear up. And then they cut to malia and she was crying and i was like, what . [ laughter ] and then trump was like, cnn is fake news, and i was like what . [ laughter ] then Jennifer Holliday from the original cast of dreamgirls announced that she was going to perform at trumps inaugural inauguration and i was like, what . Then she apologized and said she had a lapse in judgment and pulled out. And i was like and what and what and what youre gonna love what [ cheers and applause ] seth this has been amber says what . Well be right back with more late night, everybody. What [ cheers and applause ] play marian hill. Are you down, dddown, dddown, dddown, down, down . Are you. Down, ddown, down, dddddown, down, down, down . Down, ddown, down, down, dddddown, down, down, down . Are you down, are you down, are you dddown, are you . School lunch can be difficult. Cafeteria chaos. One little struggle. Can lead to one monumental mishap. Not with ziploc easy open tabs. Because life needs ziploc. Sc johnson. New degree ultraclearnt saving black white. Othes. No yellow stains on white clothes. No white marks on black clothes. New degree ultraclear black white. It wont let you down. Theres more than one route to the top. The lexus ls and lx. Each offering leadingedge comfort, safety and performance technologies. The ultimate in refinement meets the ultimate in capability. Lease the 2017 lx 570 for 899 a month for 36 months. See your lexus dealer. tic tac rattle Something Big is here. Tic tac mixers. They change flavor while you eat them. sfx loud zooming sfx small tap try cherry cola and peach lemonade flavors. Tic tac. Go little. tic tac rattle applebees allin burger meal were talkin burger. Fries. Pepsi. Prizes. Like producer for a day with mike and mike. Woo get a burger, fries and a pepsi for just 9. 99 at lunch, plus a shot at instant prizes. A heart attack doesnt or how healthy you look. No matter who you are, a heart attack can happen without warning. A bayer aspirin regimen can help prevent another heart attack. Be sure to talk to your doctor before you begin an aspirin regimen. Bayer aspirin. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Please give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also, sitting in with the 8g band this week, she is the fantastic drummer from the criticallyacclaimed rock band black rebel motorcycle club, who will be releasing a brand new record later this year. Leah shapiro is here. Thank you so much [ cheers and applause ] for being here, leah. So very excited about this evening. My guests are Michael Keaton, from foxs bones, actress Emily Deschanel, and comedian neal brennan, so whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute, what . Seth im sorry, who was that . Did you just say i was a guest . [ cheers and applause ] seth Michael Michael keaton, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. Seth uh, yeah. Thank you. Did i just want to make sure. Did you just say i was a guest on the show . Seth yeah. I i did. What are you doing in the audience . My agent said i was going to late night with seth meyers tonight, so i did. [ laughter ] seth you thought your agent meant to watch . [ light laughter ] well, Emily Deschanel is on and she knows that i like bones, so i figured [ laughter ] i dont know, i figured it was a birthday gift. [ light laughter ] seth well, these tickets are free. [ light laughter ] yeah, my birthday is in september. Look, im not saying it made sense. Im just saying, you know, im not about to question it. Seth yeah, well your agent meant, you know, come on as a guest. Oh. [ laughter ] yeah, i dont want to do that. [ laughter ] seth you dont . I dont want to work on my birthday. [ laughter ] seth you just said your birthday is in september. All right. Okay. Then i dont want to make mindless small talk. Its just not me, seth. Im sorry. No offense. Seth oh. I mean, im taking a little offense. [ laughter ] really . Please welcome our good friend Michael Keaton. Are we really good friends, seth . I mean, really . [ laughter ] [ applause ] seth i think were good friends. Really . [ light laughter ] okay. Can i get a ride to the airport tomorrow . [ light laughter ] seth well, i actually have a show tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. See, okay. Right, yeah. Were good friends, right . You, me, emily, neal, we all hang together. Were regular four amigos, right . Seth dont you just want to come on at least and plug your movie the founder . Its about ray kroc the founder of mcdonalds. [ laughter ] hes an unscrupulous, morally bankrupt businessman who secretly enjoys screwing the middle class. Trust me, were all familiar. [ laughter and applause ] seth well, look, the thing is, we have a hole in the show. Could you could you come on anyway . Just just get somebody else. Im sure im sure im not the only one in the audience whos got something to plug. Ill bet you how about you . What do you got going on . Im getting lasik next week . [ light laughter ] both eyes . I could only afford one. [ light laughter ] well, thats a good guest. Seth . Seth michael, i dont want to talk to that guy about getting lasik in one eye. Will you please just come on the show . Well have a nice chat. Ill introduce you to Emily Deschanel. Wait a minute. I actually get to meet bones . [ light laughter ] all right, well, thats kind of a hot offer. Uh, all right. Ill do you this one favor. But just remember, seth, a favor is something good friends do for one another. [ laughter ] you see what im getting at. Seth ill take you to the airport. All right. [ applause ] then ill come on your show. Fyi, my flights at 6 00 a. M. , and it takes off out of philly. [ laughter ] seth why are you flying out of philly . Cheaper. Seth all right. [ laughter ] well, it sounds like well be right back with Michael Keaton, everybody. Stick around. [ cheers and applause ] todays the day oh look creepy gloves for my feet. See when i was a kid there was a handle. And a face. This is nice. And does it come in a california king . Getting roid rage. Hemorrhoid. These are the worst, right . Im gonna buy them. Boom. Ill take them. Impulse buy. Ommmmmmmmmmm. With the blue cash everyday card from American Express you get cash back on purchases. Its all happening. With no annual fee. Here we go its more than cash back. Its backed by the service and security of American Express. Its more than cash back. As ai can embrace a worldber, full of surprising moments. The new marriott portfolio of hotels now has 30 brands in over 110 countries. So no matter where you go, you are here. Join or link accounts today. That ride share . You actually rode here on the cloud. Did not feel like a cloud. That driverless car . I have seen it all. Intels driving. The future traffic lights, street lamps. Business runs on the cloud. And the cloud runs on intel. I wonder what the other 2 runs on. car horn i believe in me too. I am the unicorn of your confidence hurry in for Olive Gardens just 10. 99. Italian dinner, start with unlimited soup or salad and breadsticks. Choose your favorite pasta and sauce combination. Top it off with a delicious dessert. Thats three courses for just 10. 99. Only at olive garden. Remember 2007 . Smartphones . O m g ten years later, nothings really changed. Its time to snap out of it. Hello moto. Snap on a jbl speaker. Put a 70 screen on a wall. Get a 10x optical zoom. Get excited world. Hello moto. Moto is here. The moto z with motomods. Get 50 off on moto z droid. [ cheers and applause ] seth our first guest tonight is an Academy Awardnominated actor you know from films such as beetlejuice, spotlight and birdman. He stars as mcdonalds executive ray kroc in his latest project, the founder, which is in theaters nationwide on friday. Lets take a look. A building with a cross on top of it. What is that . Its a gathering, a place for decent, wholesome people come together, and they share values, protected by that american flag. It could be said that that beautiful building flanked by those arches signifies more or less the same thing. It doesnt just say, delicious hamburgers inside. They signify family. It signifies community. Its a place where americans come together to break bread. I am telling you mcdonalds can be the new american church. Seth please welcome to the show, my very good friend, Michael Keaton. [ cheers and applause ] seth hey, what do you got . Oh, there we go. This is very exciting, the steelers hat. Are you ready . Youre from pittsburgh. Sure, and thats my gift. Seth thank you very much. Im not going to put it on now, but im very excited about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lets talk about that for a second. Seth okay, about because youre from new hampshire. Seth yeah, i grew up in new hampshire. So when you say youre not going to put it on now, what are you saying . Seth oh, no, no, no. This is not about the patriots. Are you sure . Seth im positive. My dad im a steelers fan. I promise you, michael. Can you verify this . Would you show up and take your shirt off and paint yourself black and gold at the game . Seth i dont know if id go that far. [ light laughter ] i love that you seth i thought of it. I did once i did once sleep outside of three rivers stadium for tickets to a playoff game. Thats not bad. Did you really . Seth yeah, i slept outside. And i thought wow, thats impressive. Seth thank you. [ light laughter ] ill put it on to prove it. Hey, look at that [ cheers and applause ] seth thats great. Well, this is a big deal, because i want to say that i was always a huge fan of yours for a lot of reasons, and one is youre from pittsburgh. My dads from pittsburgh. Right, i know, yeah. Seth people from pittsburgh are very excited when other people from pittsburgh do well. Yes. Seth so my dad talked about you a lot. And then, we had never met. Right. Seth and then, a few last year i guess, i saw you years ago, you were just in the building, and you left me a note. Right. Seth we did not know each other. No. Seth the note said that you were at 7 10 in the morning. You had done the today show. Right. Seth and you wrote, where were you . And you signed it. And you left it on my desk. Right. [ laughter ] i want to do the show, and i thought, okay, ill stop by and do it. I was here. Seth you were here at seven now, youll notice its covered in coffee because i threw it in the garbage because i didnt think it was real. [ laughter ] oh, oh. So it wasnt disdain. Seth it wasnt disdain. Its this stain. Seth it was yeah, exactly. But then, i actually went online and looked at what your signature looks like. Really . Seth yeah, and i was like, oh my god. Thats the real Michael Keaton. [ laughter ] thats hysterical. Seth because so there was the pittsburgh thing. And then, another big deal for me was i was a batman fan. Yeah. Seth and it was a big deal for me when the batman movie came out. And i actually slept out over night, just like for steelers tickets. I slept out. I was, like, lined up for batman tickets. Whoa. Seth at a theater where no one else lined up. Really . [ laughter ] wow. Seth three dudes, just three dudes. You and your buddy. Seth and theyre like, what are you here for . Were like, batman. Theyre like, come back when batman starts. [ laughter ] thats awesome. Thats so nice. Seth yeah. Now, wait a minute. Batman, if i dont if im not mistaken, you slept out . Seth yeah. It opened in june, so really sleeping out wasnt that big of a deal. [ light laughter ] i mean, if it was December Seth youre selling me out on the month . I love you for sleeping out [ laughter ] seth thank you, michael. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] you grew up in pittsburgh, and went to a Catholic School in pittsburgh . I did, yeah. Seth and i heard tale that you had a classmate this sounds like a rough and rugged Catholic School. You had a classmate who punched a nun. [ laughter ] true story . Yes, yeah. Seth okay. Why . Because she oh, man, this is rough. Because all right, ill set it. Heres what happened. [ light laughter ] it was almost like i was living Jimmy Cagneys life or something. So, yeah, it was like scrappy kids, working class kids, and i loved my school. I really loved i loved i really loved being an altar boy, and one through eight, i loved. And high school was okay, but i love being in my school. Im still pals with all of those guys, a lot of those guys. But anyway, they were tough, man. I mean, you know, if you got in trouble, they kept your little ass in line. And thats when i was my best student, by the way. I was the best probably the best student i was. In college, i was okay. But in grade school, i was a good student, because i was afraid not to be. [ laughter ] so, you know, youd come in if you got in trouble. You might get whacked. You might get some knuckles smacked. So, this im not going to say who he was because there may be a lawsuit. [ light laughter ] seth yeah. But he had been he was kind of a good guy, but he would get into trouble a lot. Hes one of our pals. And she would berate him consistently, and sometimes he deserved to be berated, i guess. Its all relative, and she whacked him. And im a little kid, and im thinking im like me. Im going, hey, man, im just trying to behave myself for eight years. [ light laughter ] do you know what i mean . And she whacked him, and my hand to god, she goes like this. She goes, boom. And he goes, boom. [ laughter ] and he punches a nun. [ laughter ] and me and my buddies just went, holy [ bleep ]. [ laughter and applause ] we just went seth yeah. Oh, my god everybody it was just silence. It was silence. And i thought seth yeah, you could hear a nun drop. [ laughter and applause ] yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] it was i couldnt believe what happened. I couldnt believe my eyes. Seth you i heard you say you came up with an idea. You tried a credit confession. Explain what this was. All right. So and by the way, there was no i have respect for anyway, i have a lot of respect for all religions, and even my own somewhat former religion. But anyway, you know, when you go to confession, the deal is usually on a friday, you go to confession. Because if youre going to get communion on sunday, you have to go to confession. So, it was getting to that i ran with some r