Be. [ light laughter ] during his inaugural address on friday, President Trump said, quote, the forgotten men and women of our country will be forgotten no longer. Quote, the forgotten men and women of our country will be forgotten no longer. Wow, the good news just keeps coming for three doors down. [ light laughter ] during his inaugural address, President Trump said that the ideology for his administration will be america first. Which also happens to be putins ideology. [ as putin ] america first, then we go into ukraine, and Eastern Europe [ laughter and applause ] its like risk [ cheers and applause ] its like game of risk against 6yearold. White house press secretary, sean spicer, gave his first briefing on saturday. In which he made four inaccurate claims in the first five minutes and thirty seconds. [ light laughter ] and each time he lied, his suit grew slightly larger. [ laughter and applause ] according according to reports, 400,000 people participated in the womens march here in new york city. And once again [ cheers and applause ] yeah. Give it up. [ cheers ] and once again, a kenyan woman finished first. [ light laughter ] great. Because the whole time you were applauding, i knew where it was going. [ light laughter ] and no way out of it. Hillary clinton said yesterday, that the images of the womens march were aweinspiring. Adding, nice to see you all come out in full force, finally. [ laughter and applause ] President Trump spoke with the president of egypt today. Said trump, its an honor, im such a fan of your pyramid schemes. [ laughter and applause ] producers have announced that the next star wars sequel will be called star wars the last jedi. Meanwhile the final film, will be called, star wars just chewy and robots. [ light laughter ] Rapper Snoop Dogg recently revealed that Country Music singer Willie Nelson is the only person who can outsmoke him. And then someone said, snoop, thats a mop. [ laughter ] hey, snoop. Once im finished with this floor, we should smoke some weed. [ light laughter ] this weekend, a truck driver spilled 38,000 pounds of marbles over an indianapolis highway. Which is almost as many marbles as this man has lost. [ cheers ] according, to recent reports, apple is considering building television sets, and the camera is terrific, said tourists. [ laughter ] and finally, the butter substitute, i cant believe its not butter is reportedly changing its iconic name. From now on, it will be called, i cant believe donald trump is president. [ cheers and applause ] you Better Believe it. Real. Thats a real deal. You guys, we have a great show for you tonight [ cheers and applause ] we have Tony Award Winning actress and singer, idina menzel, is here this evening. [ cheers and applause ] from the cws fantastic show, supergirl, Melissa Benoist is joining us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and we will have music from country artist, kane brown, this evening. [ cheers and applause ] so, youre here on a fantastic night. Before we get to all that, though, this weekend could not have provided a more stark contrast to begin the trump era. On the one hand, we saw what may have been the largest organized protest in u. S. History. And on the other hand, we had the new Trump Administration openly lying on his first full day in office. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth the start of the trump era was greeted on saturday by massive nationwide show of resistance between 3 and 4 Million People marched to what analysts believed may well be the largest protest in u. S. History. The first day of Donald Trumps presidency brought more than 600 massive antitrump protests around america, and the world. Including in boston, chicago, denver, los angeles, and overseas in london, berlin, even down in sydney, australia. Hundreds of womens marches sweep the nation, including here in wichita. In anchorage, thousands turned up yesterday. More than 5,000 people at the sister march in downtown birmingham. Demonstrators also standing in solidarity. As far as antarctica. Seth imagine being so disliked that people are willing to go outside and protest you in antarctica. [ light laughter ] thats like if you climbed mt. Everest and when you got to the top, there was a guy standing there booing you. [ laughter ] for millions of people upset about the election results, the marches were a welcome show of solidarity and creativity. Of course one of the best parts of any protest are the signs. Like this woman whose sign said just, ugh or this little kid who was clearly put in charge of making his own sign. And decided to go with i love trains. [ laughter ] although it did make things a little awkward when moments later, joe biden waded through the crowd, screaming some rug rat stole my sign [ laughter ] there was zero arrests and few, if any, tense encounters. In fact, the most tense any of the marches ever got was this amazing exchange captured by new York Magazine in which a trump supporter tried to lecture a group of marchers, telling them, quote, if you people had jobs, you wouldnt be out here doing this mess. To which another woman walked by and said, quote, bitch, its saturday [ cheers and applause ] by the way, if you want to be a millionaire, put that on a tshirt next to a cartoon glass of wine. Now, in some ways, this show of organized resistance shouldnt be all that surprising. Trump lost the popular vote by almost 3 million, and enters office with the lowest Approval Ratings in modern history. His Approval Ratings, true story, are almost as low as his tie. [ light laughter ] so you think he might use his inaugural address to unite the country and provide an uplifting vision of the future . Instead, he opted for nightmarish dystopian hellscape. Rusted out factories scattered like tombstones across the landscape of our nation. The crime, and the gangs, and the drugs. Americas infrastructure has fallen into disrepair and decay. This american carnage stops right here and stops right now. Seth geez. More like inugheration. [ laughter ] [ laughter and applause ] so just so just to clarify, Ronald Reagan said its morning in america. Trump is saying its morning in america. But like, early morning. When you wake up hung over in a cold sweat and you realize youre in thailand and theres a dead body in the bed next to you. The only sound you hear is cops banging on your door and all you can think is what the [ bleep ] is happening. Its that kind of morning. [ cheers and applause ] so maybe trumps record low Approval Ratings and the fact that he lost the popular vote had something to do with the fact that his inauguration was more sparsely attended than previous ceremonies. Have a look at this. This is Barack Obamas inauguration. A picture taken from the vantage of the Washington Monument back in 2009. And on the righthand side at about the same point in the inauguration, this is the crowd that we had today. Obviously, considerably thinner. The crowd for donald trump. Seth look at those photos. They look like shots from a billy joel concert before and after he plays piano man. [ laughter ] he played it, lets lets beat traffic. He played it. [ light laughter ] now we know trump doesnt care that much about the sizes of things, especially crowds. So it was a little surprising to hear him complain about the Media Coverage of the attendance at his inauguration the very next day. During what was supposed to be a pep talk at the cia. We had a massive field of people. You saw that. Packed. I get up this morning, i turn on one of the networks, and they show an empty field. I said, wait a minute. I made a speech. I looked out, the field was it looked like a million, million and a half people. They showed a field where there were practically nobody standing there. Seth i love how he gets so breathless when hes upset. [ light laughter ] { as trump ] i turned on the tv this morning and said theyre showing a picture of an empty field. Theres millions and millions of people. [ light laughter ] but hes right. Why did they show a field where there was nobody standing when they could have shown the stands along the inaugural parade route, where there was also [ cheers and applause ] nobody standing look. Look at how empty those bleachers are. There were more people in the bleachers during summer lovin. [ light laughter ] of all the people who did show up, there was al roker, who for some reason tried to get Vice President mike pences attention with candy and almost succeeded. Mr. Vice president , Vice President pence mr. Vice president mr. Vice president hold up the candy. Tell him about the candy. I got candy [ light laughter ] mr. Vice president we have a snack. He got him. Hes looking nothing. Come on hes coming. No, he isnt coming. Nothing, i guess i had the wrong candy. Seth come on, al. You know pence would never approve of the unnatural relationship between mike and ike. [ laughter and applause ] also poor al roker. Hey, guys, trump seems pretty mad at nbc. I dont think theyre going to talk to me. No, youll be fine. Take some candy. But heres the thing, mr. President. It was a perfectly respectable crowd. Full of people who love you and are excited you won. It just wasnt a recordbreaking crowd. And its not your fault you had to follow him. People just really liked him. He won the Electoral College [ cheers and applause ] and the popular vote. But, hey, youre still the most popular president since obama. [ light laughter ] and look, no one no one cares about crowd sizes. The only reason this is a story is that trump insists on lying about it and sending white house officials out to lie about it. Like he did on saturday when he sent his press secretary, sean spicer, to brazenly lie to the entire press corps by disputing what everyone saw with their own eyes. Photographs of the inaugural proceedings were intentionally framed in a way, in one particular tweet, to minimize the enormous support that had gathered on the national mall. Inaccurate numbers involving crowd size were also tweeted. No one had numbers. Because the National Park service, which controls the national mall, does not put any out. This was the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration, period seth period . I think you mean double question marks. [ laughter ] and whats going on with that big jacket . Do you use the same tailor as tom brady . [ laughter ] now, of course, there are lots of ways to fact check spicers obvious lies. But you might have noticed that spicer actually disproved his own lie in a matter of seconds. No one had numbers. This was the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration, period seth there is no way of knowing how many people were there, but there were definitely more people there than ever before no, hes right. Hes right that there are no hard numbers, because the National Park service does not release crowd estimates. But the Washington AreaTransit Authority does release ridership numbers, and according to those numbers, fridays metro ridership was the lowest in at least two president ial inaugurations. And it was also lower than that of an average weekday. [ light laughter ] so trump did worse than an average weekday. That means people called in sick to work to not go to the inauguration. And yet trump continues to lie about approval and obvious facts. And now white house officials are even coining new terms to defend their lies as white house counselor, Kellyanne Conway did yesterday on meet the press. Why put him out there, for the very first time in front of that podium to utter a provable falsehood. It undermines the credibility of the entire White House Press office, on day one. No it doesnt. Dont be so dont be so overly dramatic about it, chuck. What, and youre saying its a falsehood and theyre giving sean spicer, our press secretary, gave alternative facts to that. Seth Kellyanne Conway is like someone trying to do the Jedi Mind Trick after only a week of jedi training. [ light laughter ] these are not the droids youre looking for. Yeah, they are, those are my droids. No. These are alternative robots. [ light laughter ] yeah, these may seem like small lies, but the small lies inoculate us against bigger lies. They make facts a matter of partisan debate. Rather than accepted shared reality. It may be crowd sizes now. But soon, much bigger decisions will come when reality will matter. The only way to answer these lies for the next four years will be organized resistance. Like the protests we saw this weekend. And if that doesnt work, there is always this. I got candy [ laughter ] seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with more late night, everybody. Stick around [ cheers and applause ] the morning. No, this is double espresso. Hodor hodor ehhh, hodor. You guys watch game of thrones, right . Inconceivable surely, you cant be serious. I am serious. And dont call me shirley . Thats the unlimited effect. Stream your entertainment and more with unlimited data when you switch to at t wireless and have directv. Plus, get the amazing new iphone 7 on us. As ai can embrace a worldber, full of surprising moments. The new marriott portfolio of hotels now has 30 brands in over 110 countries. So no matter where you go, you are here. Join or link accounts today. I heard superheroes read chucks norris comics. D you. I heard at night, the boogeyman checks under the bed for chuck. I heard cats say they have chucklike reflexes. Do you think hes still got it . I bet you a buck he catches this salt shaker. Youre on hey chuck you owe me a buck. You cant always see whats coming but when you choose unitedhealthcare, finding an innetwork doctor thats close to home is easy. So what happened . I had lunch with chuck norris. Unitedhealthcare. You gocome on. Arder. Hey, yo brian, brian. Stop, stop playing yourself. Hello mr. Khaled. Did you have a tax question . Yes, miss tax lady. Im in the personal training game now. The khaled exercise program. You know, shreds pounds. You feel me . I feel you. Can i deduct some of the training equipment . You know this is my business, i put my own money up. Yes, if its exclusively for work. Maam, im working. Trust me im workin. Climb the mountain top. Hey, yo jerome come on lets go so tasty. Oh the fishes will laugh as they swim out of the path when the ship comes in by the hollies and the seagulls theyll be smilin and the rocks on the sand its so peaceful out here. Yeah. Introducing the new turbocharged volkswagen alltrack with 4motion® allwheel drive. Soon to be everywhere. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Our first guest tonight is a [ cheers and applause ] please, give it up for the 8g band right over there [ cheers and applause ] also, our drummer this week is from the grammynominated rock band, mutemath, who are coming off a summer tour and surprise, e. P. Collaboration with twenty one pilots. And theyre currently in the studio working on their fifth studio album. Darren king is here, everybody [ cheers and applause ] im so very happy to have you here, darren. Thank you for being here. Thank you. Seth now, if i may, before we continue with the show, there is something i need to get off my chest. Last night, im hanging out with some friends who are just going on and on about this new netflix show, the crown. And i said that i hadnt seen it. And then, everybody started going off on me, saying, you have to watch the crown. you have to. [ light laughter ] and im sorry, but i have to say this. Stop telling me which shows i have to watch. [ light laughter ] at this point in the broadcast, seth launched into a 60second obscenityladen tirade about how people need to keep their tv show recommendations to themselves. [ cheers and applause ] Network Policy prevents us from broadcasting his comments, but due to a technical issue, we were forced to air this portion of the show. In short, seth believes that tvshow recommendations are like butt holes. Everybody has one, they all stink, and each one is just a big, black hole that seth refuses to get sucked into again. [ light laughter ] seth continued, saying, unless you are the pope, dont tell me to watch young pope. and if you are the pope, let me know where you got that sweet hat, bro. [ laughter and applause ] seth then let out a highpitched squeal before unloading on the new wave of foreign shows that people are obsessed with, saying, if you think im going to waste my time reading subtitles, ive got a subtitle for you. Seth looked down at the subtitle he had printed out and realizing it was the wrong one, said, it was supposed to say, eat my farts. [ laughter and applause ] at which point seths nana opened her birthday card and immediately died of a broken heart. At which point, seth said, dont worry. Shes not really dead, and shes not really my nana. [ laughter and applause ] seth then criticized peoples comparisons of tv shows, saying, stop pretending that any show is as good as the wire. also, if you havent seen the wire, you have to watch the wire. [ laughter ] seth then let out a long sigh and explained how he was planning to watch the man in the high castle, but he couldnt figure out what tv channel it was on. At which point his stage manager, tom, said that it wasnt on cable television, but rather on amazon prime, a streaming web service. At which point, seth said, streaming web service, this sounds like a job for spiderman. [ light laughter ] he then struck a spiderman pose and shot a stream of web from a gadget hidden in his sleeve, covering tom in a sticky webbing. [ laughter and applause ] at which point tom asked, did you know the whole time that amazon was a streaming web service . To which seth replied, my spidey senses told me. [ light laughter ] seth then complained about the Time Commitment he would have to invest, saying, in the time it would take to me to watch all the shows you told me to watch, i could get an mba. At which point a basketball player,