Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170427 :

WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers April 27, 2017

Minister Justin Trudeau yesterday amidst increased tensions on trade. Im guessing trump wanted to trade faces . [ laughter ] [ applause ] and then ill just have yours for a week. You have mine for a week. And then [ laughter ] and then well just see what happens. [ light laughter ] President Trump signed an order today that allows the department of the interior to review whether National Monuments across the country should be eliminated or modified. For example, heres his proposal for the statue of liberty. [ laughter and applause ] but i think we all know which National Monument he really wants to modify. [ laughter and applause ] according to reports, a group of buyers led by derek jeter and jeb bush has won the auction to purchase the miami marlins. Jeter is excited to get back to baseball while jeb is excited to get back to losing. [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ] ive missed it. Ive missed it and its all i know. [ laughter ] today was first lady melania trumps birthday, and after she blew out the candles, nobody had to ask what she wished for. [ audience ohs ] [ cheers and applause ] the nfl draft is this week. And the Houston Texans will announce some of their picks from outer space using astronauts aboard the International Space station. Meanwhile the patriots will announce their picks from a russian spy satellite. [ light laughter ] a Costume Designer recently debuted a dress that looks like a pizza with pepperoni, sliced olives and bell peppers. Said chris christie, no, no. Leave it on. [ laughter ] [ applause ] and finally, United Airlines is investigating a report that a giant rabbit died on a flight from london to chicago. He was survived by his wife and 167 children. [ laughter and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. I guess the lesson there is dont dont end on a joke about a dead rabbit. [ light laughter ] if we learned anything tonight, its that. We have a great show for you tonight. From nbcs the blacklist, one of our favorites, james spader is back on the show [ cheers and applause ] so excited about this. He is an iconic american singer songwriter whose new album sad clowns and hillbillies is out friday. Here to chat with me about his amazing career and perform a new track for us, with very special guest country superstar martina mcbride, John Mellencamp is joining us tonight. How about that . [ cheers and applause ] a legend. Couple of legends in the house tonight. So very excited to talk to our guests. But before we get to all that, as donald trump nears the 100th day of his presidency, he is celebrating the number of executive orders hes signed and pushing a new plan to cut taxes on corporations. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth this saturday will mark the 100th day of tsru presidency and trump is desperate for positive accomplishments to celebrate. Yesterday his white house released a statement bragging that trump will have signed 30 executive orders during his first 100 days. Which is ridiculous. Claiming youve been a good president just because youve signed a lot of executive orders makes no sense. But dont just take it from me, take it from this guy. We have a president that cant get anybody to do anything. So he signs, you know, executive orders. And the country wasnt supposed to be that way. We have a president that cant get anything done, so he just keeps signing executive orders. And he goes around signing all these executive orders. Its a basic disaster. You cant do it. Youre supposed to get together and pass a law. He doesnt want to do that because its too much work. So he doesnt want to work too hard. He wants to go back and play golf. [ laughter ] seth its like [ cheers and applause ] it is at this point like a law of physics for every trump action there is an equal and opposite trump clip. [ laughter ] i swear, if trump said the bathroom was down the hall and to the right, im sure wed find an old clip down the hall and to the left. [ laughter ] seth dammit [ cheers and applause ] this is still the best trump quote about obama and executive orders. I dont want to use too many executive orders, folks. You know . Because, you know, executive orders sort of came about more recently. Nobody ever heard of an executive order. Then all of a sudden obama, because he couldnt get anybody to agree with him, he started signing them like they were butter. [ laughter ] seth do you sign your butter . [ laughter ] are you one of those guys who puts your name on everything in the fridge . [ laughter ] of course, trumps previous comments about executive action havent stopped his supporters like new Jersey Governor Chris Christie from giving him high marks for his first 100 days and specifically citing his executive orders as a reason. What grade would you give him . Listen, id give him a b, um, so far. A b . I would. Id give him a b. And i would say the reason i give him a b is first and foremost because of neil gorsuch. I also think some of the things hes done by executive action have been very good on the regulatory side. Seth i like that christie thinks he is playing hard to get by giving trump a b. [ light laughter ] im not giving you an a, donald. Im giving you a b. Chase me. [ laughter and applause ] also, i can imagine i can imagine trumps reaction to getting a b. Thats ridiculous. Everyone knows the highest grade is a c. [ laughter ] so christie likes trumps executive orders. I wonder what he had to say when president obama used executive action to get things done. Now this president wants to act as if hes a king, as if hes a dictator. The president wants to do things without working with his congress, without working with the legislature, without getting the consent of the american people. Dictatorships not leadership, john. And hes acting like a dictator. And a petulant child. Seth yeah, thank god we no longer have a president who acts like a petulant child. Quiet, quiet, quiet. Sit down. Sit down. Okay, sit down. A very insulting question. Wait a minute. I dont have to tell you. I dont have to tell you. Im not gonna tell you. Im just telling you. You know, youre dishonest people. Seth and i dont want to go to bed. I go to bed when i want to go to bed. [ laughter and applause ] and i am having im sorry to say i am having skittles for dinner. [ laughter ] but trump isnt the only one whos faced criticism in the first 100 days. There is also his daughter and assistant to the president , ivanka trump. There have been a lot of questions about what exactly ivankas role is and what makes her qualified for it, as well as her conflicts of interest in connection to her own business. Yesterday she appeared at a panel in germany on female business leaders, and instead of lobbing softball questions, the moderator grilled her. The german audience is not that familiar with the concept of a first daughter. Id like to ask you what is your role . Whom are you representing . Your father as the president of the united states, the american people, or your business . Seth man, leave it to a german moderator to ask the most cutting questions. [ in german accent ] why you are here . What is your purpose . Explain yourself. Also, you are smiling, but i do not think you are happy. Is it a [ laughter ] is it a fake smile . Yes . [ light laughter ] and then later ivanka tried to claim, incredibly, that her father was actually a champion for families, and again the moderator followed up with a tough question. Watch ivankas face after the moderator jumps in. Hes been a tremendous champion of supporting families, and enabling them to thrive in the new reality of you you hear the reaction from the audience, so i need to address one more point. Some attitude towards women your father has publicly displayed in former times might leave one questioning whether he is such an empowerer for women. How do you relate to that . Or are things changing . What is your comment on that . Seth [ in german accent ] i notice now that your smile is gone. [ laughter ] is it safe to say that this current dead face is a better indicator of your true feelings . [ light laughter ] so as trump approaches the 100day mark, hes done a total 180 on executive orders, and there are questions swirling about key members of his administration. And then there are ways in which trump has just completely backtracked on some of the signature issues of his campaign. Take, for example, nato, which he repeatedly called obsolete. Now not only is trump reversing himself, he is literally pleading ignorance. He told the associated press, they had a quote from me that nato is obsolete. I was on wolf blitzer. very fair interview. So they asked me wolf asked me about nato. And i said two things. nato is obsolete, not knowing much about nato. Now i know a lot about nato. [ laughter ] you see, im stupid so i lied. Whats the problem . Why is that problematic . [ applause ] and then of course, theres the wall. Trump has been locked in a showdown with republicans in congress over including money for the wall in a bill to fund the government. And after initially insisting on money for the wall, trump finally relented and indicated that the border wall funding could wait until september. And that crushed many of trumps hardcore supporters like heartbroken Rush Limbaugh who had to break the news to his audience. Watch how long it takes him to get to that bad news. Im not happy to have to pass this on. Im very, very troubled to have to pass this on. And i want to say at the outset that i hope my interpretation is wrong. And i hope this is not the case. But it looks like from here, right here, right now, it looks like President Trump is caving on his demand for a measly 1 billion in the budget for his wall. Seth he sounds like a doctor giving next of kin some terrible news. [ light laughter ] im sorry to be the one to tell you this, but there were complications and we will to remove your grandmothers wall. [ laughter ] and now mexicans are pouring into her liver. [ light laughter ] after the disappointed reactions from his hardcore supporters started rolling in, trump did everything he could to reassure them the wall would in fact be built, although it didnt really seem like he had given the timeline much thought. The wall gets built. 100 . When . When, sir . When, sir . When . When, mr. President . When, mr. President . When will the wall get built . When will the wall get built . Soon. Soon. Thank you, behind you. Were already preparing. Were doing plans. Were doing specifications. Were doing a lot of work on the wall. And the wall gets built. In your first term . In your first term . The wall is very, very important. In your first term . Well, its certainly gonna yeah. Yeah. Sure. [ light laughter ] seth yeah. Yeah, sure. Hes like a dad who made the mistake of mentioning disneyland to his kids. [ laughter ] are we going, dad . Are we going . Yeah. Yeah, sure. [ laughter ] why the [ bleep ] did i mention disneyland . [ cheers and applause ] disneyland. So the president has very little to show for his first 100 days, which may be why trump, who sold himself as a champion of the forgotten man, is setting his sights on a new goal, a giant tax cut for corporations. The Trump Administration announcing a sweeping tax reform plan slashing rates for individuals and businesses across the u. S. What he says could be the biggest tax cut weve ever had. The tax reform plan will cut the Corporate Tax rate from 35 to 15 . Seth who could possibly benefit from such a massive tax cut . Okay, fine. But besides him. [ laughter ] okay, yeah, fine, but besides him. Okay, yeah, but fine, but besides her. Okay, yeah, but besides him. Oh, boy [ laughter and applause ] knew it was coming, and he still [ applause ] phew now the details of this plan, which trump has been working on with his treasury secretary steve mnuchin, are still very unclear. When he sat down with the ap this week to talk about his first 100 days, trump tried to offer a preview of the tax plan. But im not sure he really helped clarify things all that much. This is the actual transcript from the aps Oval Office Interview with trump. Notice how many time the reporter who is in the room with trump could not understand what he was saying. Were going to be doing major tax reform. Heres part of your story. Its going to be a big unintelligible. Everybodys saying, oh, hes delaying. Im not delaying anything. Ill tell you the other thing is unintelligible. Weve been working on it. Unintelligible. Secretary mnuchin is a very talented person. Very smart, very successful. Unintelligible. Were going to be putting that out on wednesday or shortly thereafter. Let me leave a little room just in case unintelligible. [ laughter ] trumps answers are literally just mad libs now. [ laughter ] ill tell you about my tax plan. Its going to be a big sandwich. [ laughter ] secretary mnuchin is a very successful basketball player. [ applause ] just leave me a little room just in case china. [ laughter and applause ] so trump is racing is racing to commemorate his 100th day in office by signing a slew of executive orders pushing tax cuts for corporations and abandoning his key promises. Donald, do you really think any of this is going to work for voters . Um, yeah. Yeah. Sure. Seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with james spader, everybody [ cheers and applause ] dear predictable, theres no other way to say this. Its over. Ive found a permanent escape from monotony. Together, we are perfectly balanced, our senses awake, our hearts racing as one. I know this is sudden, but they say if you love something. Set it free. See you around, giulia is thno, its, uh, breyers gelato indulgences. You really wouldnt like it. Its got caramel and crunchy stuff. I like caramel and crunchy stuff. Breyers gelato indulgences. Its way beyond ice cream. At red lobsters lobsterfestime. Any of these 9 lobster dishes could be yours. So dont resist delicious new lobster mix and match or lobsterfest surf and turf because you wont have this chance for long. Schick hydro ® vs a lube strip. With seven hydrating gel pools. That give you 40 less friction. Its designed like no other razor to protect from irritation. Schick hydro ® free your skin. ® [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Please, give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also, this week, we have had two incredible musicians adding their vocal talents to the band. Last year, they performed here in support of their critically acclaimed album, good grief. From lucius, please welcome jess wolfe and Holly Laessig everybody [ cheers and applause ] so happy to have you guys here. And on drums, from right here in new york city, the equally incredible Allison Miller is here. Thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] for coming back and spending time with us allison. Our first guest tonight is an Emmy Award Winning actor you know from shows like boston legal and the office. He stars in the blacklist which airs thursday nights at 10 00 on nbc. Lets take a look. And if my instincts are correct, shes going after more of my people right now. Im off to see an individual who i believe, also employed her services. I suggest that you start at the bar where perocio was last seen. See what you can find at the abduction site. Keen, go with reddington. So i get a babysitter now, i havent had a babysitter since brenda gilroy. My god, potpies, Lawrence Welk bath time with brenda, still my perfect saturday night. Seth please welcome back to the show our friend james spader everybody. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, james. Thank you, cheers. Seth its always so great to see you. And i was very happy to see you backstage before the show, because last time you came here, i dont even think i had a chance to say hi, because you were not here when the show started. No. Seth you had a very harrowing trip here last time. It was harrowing well it was yes. You know, i think you ended up taping two guests before me or something. Seth yeah, you showed up late. Yeah. [ laughter ] i did, very. I used to live down in greenwich village. And it would take about 15 minutes to get up here. And so, even though your show is very, very prudent and very well prepared, they always give about 45 minutes or so seth sure. Or an hour prior to when one is supposed to be here, to get here. Well, i just ignore it and [ laughter ] give myself 15 minutes. Like thats always been the way im generally late to things. I always base my time on the shortest time its ever taken to get from one place to another. [ light laughter ] so i say, if it was one freakish time that it took me ten minutes to get to work, i assume from that point forward that it takes ten minutes to get to work. Seth got it. [ light laughter ] youre an optimist. Im an optimist. Seth you never think anything is going to go wrong. Yeah. Anyway, so i got in the car. Im giving myself about 15, 20 minutes to get up here, and we ran into terrible, terrible traffic. I cant remember when it was but, i think it was just at the time when all of a sudden the traffic was being rerouted a lot because of trump tower. Seth yeah. And, so seth you gave yourself 15 minutes and the president lived here. And the president lived here, and [ light laughter ] and so, i was coming up sixth avenue, and it was just taking forever. And im calling the publicist on the phone saying were really, really late. And she said yes, i know. [ laughter ] and i said it really doesnt seem as if like were going to make up any time at all. And she said, well, you know, maybe we should and really, and so they they started. You guys started taping the show. You then started taping the first guest the second guest and so on. And im still checking in and were still bumper to bumper traffic. And so finally the publicist said, okay, you know what . Just maybe if you jump out of the car like a block, because we were in a parking lot really. Jump out of the car in a parking lot, you know, a block away, and just walk right up to the front entrance and and ill be waiting for you. So i jumped out of the car and i walked up to the front entrance, and she was no where to be seen. And it was right in front of Rockefeller Center which is, as you all know, theres a lot of tourists and people coming and going, right . [ light laughter ] well, when im in a public place, i try to keep moving. cause i can stick out like a sore thumb. And sure enough, i was. Im right in front of Rockefeller Center just sort of standing around, like this. [ laughter ] and you know, nobody is standing around in front o

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