Bejamin clementine. And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 499 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, thats what im talking about right there that is a crowd [ cheers and applause ] show them how its done. Thats how you do it right there. Welcome, everybody. Welcome. What a great crowd. Welcome to the tonight show. This is it, you made it. [ cheers and applause ] youre part of the show. Welcome, everybody. Were going to have a good show tonight. Im your host jimmy fallon. Weve got a great show tonight. From ghostbusters, the hilarious kristen wiig is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] thats right. And from mr. Robot rami malek is here. [ cheers and applause ] thats right. Thats right. Wiig and robot. Which is also how theyll describe the debates between trump and hillary. [ laughter ] [ applause ] steve wow. Jimmy lets get to some election news here. Its being reported that Donald Trumps list of running mates is now down to just two people, and they are chris christie. Steve hey [ laughter ] jimmy well thats come on. Thats like come on. Whoa, whoa, whoa, who wrote that and made me say it . [ laughter ] steve rude jimmy i would never. Steve never. Ever jimmy get this, i saw that in a recent interview jeb bush compared donald trump to the kardashians. [ light laughter ] saying, quote, the kardashians wouldnt exist if we didnt enjoy watching them. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] when asked who his favorite kardashian is, jeb said, rob, cause hes the brother nobody wants to talk about. [ laughter and applause ] over on the democratic side, joe biden said in a new interview that he is not interested in being Vice President again. Actually, i dont know if hes interested in the job now. I mean [ laughter ] i think he seems kind of distracted. Check him out in this meeting here. Take look at this. Weve got to continue to push that agenda. Thats what we should be talking about [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i mean, god, youve got to catch them all, but i mean, still. Steve rude again. Jimmy meanwhile, Elizabeth Warren has been invited to give an address on the first night of the democratic convention. Hillary clinton will give the address in the final night, and Bernie Sanders will be given the wrong address so that he misses the convention entirely. [ laughter and applause ] theyre giving him the wrong address. This is a chuck e. Cheese what is [ laughter ] just talk. Speaking of Bernie Sanders, he endorsed Hillary Clinton yesterday at a rally in New Hampshire, and before the big announcement, New Hampshire senator Jeanne Shaheen tried to get the crowd pumped up for hillary, but the crowd started chanting for bernie. [ laughter ] you gotta see this. I think she might have gotten a a little frustrated. But take a look. This is real. We need to elect hillary, not only to keep donald trump out of office [ cheers ] Bernie BernieBernie BernieHillary Hillary hillary [ laughter ] Hillary Hillary okay. We need to get to hillary here. Jimmy yeah [ laughter ] listen up, punks, i will turn this rally right around, you hear me . [ cheers and applause ] were going to get to hillary shut up yeah bernie, bernie, hillary, hillary. Thats right. Different syllables, everythings wrong. Steve Jeanne Shaheen. Jimmy but now that the nominees for both parties are official, it means its the end of the primary season for this years election. So lets take a moment and look back and appreciate all the great candidates that we had to choose from [ laughter ] this year. Please, take a look. This president is more interested in funding less interested in funding the military than he is in funding planned than he is hes more interested in funding planned parenthood than he is in funding the military. You know, i i i dont have a problem with if i were in charge right now. [ laughter ] the irs, the department of commerce, the department of energy uh, the department of commerce and hud. I wouldnt be doing this dumb ass Live Streaming if i werent. Yes, i still am running for president. Get over it. Because we travel on the bus all day we get to play we get to play so thank you for your support thanks for lending me your hand thank you catherine get back in the business of creating a more peaceful world. Please clap. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy no steve aw jimmy please clap. Steve oh. Jimmy that one killed me. Steve that hurt. Jimmy that one i felt bad on that one. That one killed me. Because he was having it was a good speech. He had a then he was like, and create a more peaceful world. Oh, please clap. Come on. Give me a break. Oh, my gosh. Of course the pokemon craze just seems to be getting bigger and bigger. In fact, i read that even members of congress have even been trying to catch pokemon in the u. S. Capitol. [ light laughter ] meanwhile, pokemon were like, oh, my god, i just caught a a congressman at work. Do you know how rare do you know how rare that is . [ laughter ] [ applause ] its totally rare i got a jowly puff some celebrity news, its rumored that Kim Kardashian might be coming out with a a cookbook. Actually, shes already started writing it, and we have a sneak peek of some of the chapters. Yeah. Take a look. First theres pasta with, like, tomatoes or whatever. [ laughter ] next theres taking the perfect selfie with your roasted chicken. [ laughter ] then theres knives, spoons, and forks, which ones which . [ laughter ] then finally, heres the last chapter. Meatloaf is so gross [ laughter and applause ] id read that book. Steve yeah. Jimmy and finally, this is a little weird. A nursing home right here in new york wants to encourage elderly residents to start romantic relationships. They even made a do not disturb sign for them to hang on their doors. [ light laughter ] technically, the sign says do not disturb now, but if you dont hear anything for a a while, definitely disturb. [ applause ] we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy it has been a great week so far. Theres more ahead. Tomorrow night Michael Strahan will be here. [ cheers and applause ] and were going to play play a a game of face breakers. Be sure to tune in for that. Then on friday we have blake lively. We have rahcel maddow. [ cheers and applause ] and music from good charlotte is going to be good. But first, joining us tonight, she is one of the funniest people we know. She stars alongside Melissa Mccarthy and an allstar cast in ghostbusters, which is in theaters and imax this friday. The one and only kristen wiig is here tonight [ cheers and applause ] steve oh go wiigy go wiigy go wiigy go wiigy jimmy go hillary go hillary remember uh, the last few times shes been booked on our show, we had an unexpected guest show up and weve had to bump kristen wiig. Steve oh, no. Jimmy its unfortunate but we do it when theres bigger celebrities here. [ light laughter ] steve a bigger celebrity comes on, thats the rules. Jimmy thats just the rules. So hopefully, you know, well get to meet and talk to kristen wiig. Ive never talked to her. [ light laughter ] this will be a very interesting show. Shes the best, and im a big fan. I run her blog. Steve you run all of her blogs. Jimmy yeah. Shes the best. So anyways, Kristen Wiigs here tonight. And thatll be exciting. [ cheers and applause ] i like the new ghostbusters. Shes great in it. Plus from the multiple awardwinning Television Series mr. Robot, this kid is steve this kid is fantastic. Jimmy he hit a homer with this one, man. Rami malek is dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] hes good. And we have great music. I was on the internet, i was doing something and i saw a a commercial for i want to say burberry or something. It was like a cologne or something commercial. It was beautifully shot, black and white. And i dont know why i was seeing this commercial, but anyways. I saw it, but the music i was like, this is beautiful music. So i shazamed it. And thats how he ended up here tonight. This guy. Hes fantastic, Benjamin Clementine, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] at least for now. Hes fantastic. Guys, as you know, snapchat is everywhere. Are you guys on snapchat . Are you guys using it . Its fun. [ cheers and applause ] its that app where you take a a snap of yourself and you can put a cool filter or something over your face wearing, you know, a hat or Something Like that. Some people are using it to make stories, horror movies, even music videos. So the other day, me and Arianna Grande combined our snaps into a video for her newest single into you. Id love to show it to you right now. So here is me and Arianna Grandes snapchat duet for into you. World premiere. Enjoy. [ cheers and applause ] im so into you i can barely breathe and all i wanna do is to fall in deep [ laughter ] oh baby look what you started the temperatures rising in here is this gonna happen been waiting and waiting for you to make a move before i make a move so baby come light me up and maybe ill let you on it a little bit dangerous but baby thats how i want it a little less conversation and a little more touch my body cause im so into you into you into you tell me what you came here for cause i cant i cant wait no more im on the edge with no control and i need i need you to know you to know so baby come light me up and maybe ill let you on it a little bit dangerous but baby thats how i want it a little less conversation and a little more touch my body cause im so into you into you into you got everyone watching us so baby lets keep it secret a little more scandalous but baby dont let them see it a little less conversation and a little more touch my body cause im so into you into you into you i miss you, jimmy [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how great is Arianna Grande i love her. That was so much fun. My thanks to Arianna Grande. Stick around. Well be back with more of the tonight show, everybody [ cheers and applause ] introducing tmobiles most epic deal ever get a free Samsung Galaxy for each line after 24 month finance agreement and get 4 lines with 6 gigs each. For just 30 bucks a line. Plus now everybody gets unlimited streaming from their favorite services. Dont wait get a free galaxy smartphone and 6 gigs per line for just 30 bucks a line. Hurry to tmobile now for our most epic deal ever. Whe gets a ready for you alert the second his room is ready. So you know what he gives . Ill give you everything ive got and then some. He gives a hundred and ten percent im confident this 10 can boost your market share. Feel me lois . Im feeling you. Boom look at that pie chart. The ready for you alert, only at laquinta. Com. Introducing jim beam apple. E together to make history. Poured over ice and served with club soda and a fresh lemon wedge. To make a crisp refreshing jim beam apple and soda. Take on any road with intuitive allwheel drive. The nissan rogue, murano and pathfinder. Now get 0 apr for up to 72 months, plus 500 bonus cash. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody guys, it is time for bad signs. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy whoo these are all real pictures of funny signs that you guys saw in a store or weird signs that you saw while driving around. You took a photo of it, send it to us. Again, they are all 100 real. Lets take a look at the first one here. Someone was shopping for picture frames. And they found this one here, look at this. Nice picture of a married couple, the frame says cousins. [ light laughter ] hope theyre distant cousins. Steve distant cousins. Jimmy distant cousins. Distant. Distant. Steve oh my god. Jimmy heres another one here. Someone was at a car race in iowa and they spotted youre from iowa, higgins . Steve yeah, love iowa. Jimmy and they spotted this sign along the tracks. Iowa corn. [ laughter ] steve im not going to say anything. Jimmy this is steve im not going to think of jimmy good stuff, dont say it. Steve im not gonna say it. Im not even thinking it. [ laughter ] jimmy what game do you what game do you think they were playing . Steve they might have been playing corn hole late or something. Jimmy all right, all right, here we go. Gue, here we go. Here. Lets steve we cant digest it. Jimmy heres another one. [ laughter ] once you pop you cant stop. You know what i mean . Steve yeah. Jimmy heres another one. Someone spotted a message on a a best western sign. Lets see what it said here. Congratulations to the eatonflesh wedding. Thats, the walking dead steve walking dead theme. Yeah. Jimmy flesh eating. Steve flesh eaters, whatever. Jimmy heres another sign, this says, i found recovery from both addiction and depression. Well thats a good thing. Down here it says, celebrate cocktails [ light laughter ] jimmy this next one somehow, someone spotted while out on a walk. This is very good, a good eye, it says lost tortoise. Oh, thats sad. Then up here they noticed this, found turtle. [ laughter ] steve no. [ laughter ] you found a turtle. Jimmy well i didnt lose a a turtle. I lost a tortoise. Steve found a turtle right here. Got like four legs and thing and a shell. [ laughter ] jimmy here is another one here. This is a pickle parking in the rear. [ laughter ] another sign here. Steve come on. Iowa corn. [ laughter ] jimmy someone spotted this inside a walmart. Steve inside a walmart. Jimmy it says fireworks for 79. 97. Right next to it, first aid kit for 9. 89. [ laughter ] good placement. Steve good shopping. Jimmy good placement. Steve market it. Jimmy heres another one. This is posted next to a cash register. This is a little gross, kind of, but due to the increase in temperatures, we will no longer be accepting money carried in your bra. Thanks, management. [ laughter ] steve what thats rude. Jimmy oh, my gosh. Also thats the worst place steve thats the worst place you jimmy to find out, cause youre just at the register. Thats when youre like, what . Steve well what am i suppose to do. Jimmy can put it at the front door. Steve front door. [ laughter ] big sign. Jimmy cant go in the rear door. Steve no, cause thats pickle parking. Jimmy pickle pickle delivery. Steve lot of pickles. Sour. [ laughter ] sour pickles. [ laughter ] jimmy were down were down to our last sign, guys. This is posted in a church. Steve in a church. Jimmy yeah, this is real. Look at this. Confession today will be until exactly 5 30 p. M. Theres only one priest available for confession today. Make your confession direct to the point and confess only your sins and offenses. No need to explain why you did it. Thank you very much. [ laughter and applause ] thats all the time we have for bad signs. [ cheers and applause ] if you see a bad sign email it to us at badsigns tonightshow. Com. And we might put in on the show. Stick around, well be right back with kristen wiig, everybody [ cheers and applause ] sfx crowd cheering sfx crowd booing sfx crowd chanting sfx crowd cheering sc johnson, a Family Company starbucks® smallbatch cold brew coffee. In stores now. Ah the freedom to watch your directv with unlimited data from at t. The steady stream of entertainment. Your favorite shows. Streaming on. You can just keep streaming. And streaming. Hello jim. So much streaming, but id really like to go home now. My arms are very tired. Seize the data get our best unlimited plan ever so you can stream and surf all you want with unlimited data from at t. [electronic sound effects] brace yourself. The first ever gsf is here. With a 467 horse power v8 engine. Torque vectoring differential. And brembo brakes. Its the next expression of f performance, from lexus. Oh, hey, jamie, can you hang back a sec . You wanna tell me about the boy in this painting . I dunno. Maybe nobody understands him. Well, if he were here, id say that being different is what makes him special. Just like our discounts each one is unique, but together, they help save our customers a lot of money. Okay. Pop quiz, whos my favorite student . Gwen . Yeah its gwen. Yeah, gwens the best. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hey, guys. Welcome back. This is exciting. I was going to bring out kristen wiig, but during the commercial break a cool thing happened a special guest just dropped by the studio and were going to brick her out here for a quick interview. Im so excited for this. I am a huge fan. Please welcome the star of this season of the bachelorette jojo fletcher, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy jojo, oh, my god thank you very much. This is so cool. Jimmy yeah. This is amazing for us. We are all big fans of you on the bachelorette. Thank you. I guess a lot of people are watching. Jimmy yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Well, you look gorgeous. Thank you. This old thing . [ light laughter ] jimmy is jojo, is that your real name or a nickname . Short. Jimmy its short. Yes. Jimmy yeah. For . For jo josefina. [ laughter ] jimmy so jo, the jo part, jo josefina. Yeah. Jimmy of course, you grew up with that so they just called you jojo. Jojo, yeah. Jimmy ive got some questions here. Just want to get right to it. Oh yeah, so excited to be here. Jimmy yeah, i know. For a talk show. Jimmy oh yeah, thats right. Yeah, right . Jimmy were the first people first people to this is exclusive. We have jojo from, she is the bachelorette, on our show. Lets just get right to it. Yeah. Jimmy i want to know everything. What happens what happens in the fantasy suite. [ light laughter ] the fantasy suite jimmy yeah. Thats where i go on dates. Jimmy yeah. [ light laughter ] thats right. And we close the door. Jimmy absolutely. [ light laughter ] sometimes we, you know, we kiss a little. Or like, sometimes we like, rub each other. [ laughter ] but sometimes, you know, its a a show so we have to like pretend, but sometimes we go all the way. [ light laughter ] jimmy well thats good. Im glad you cleared up that. Yeah. Just so people know. Jimmy yeah. It was supposed to be called fantasy. I just thought yeah, theres the fountains. [ light laughter ] jimmy in the hotel room . Yep. [ light laughter ] jimmy great. I dont want to make you relive what happened last season. Oh. [ laughter ] that was tough. Jimmy it was tough, right . When what is on the bachelor. Jimmy thats right. Right. Jimmy you were. Yup. Jimmy how did you feel, i mean, about ben . Today. I loved him. Oh, today . We dont talk. [ laughter ] jimmy at all. No. Because h