Ros crew. Questlove 573, missouri, yeah steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hey, everybody how you doing . Hot crowd tonight. [ cheers and applause ] great, hot new york city crowd tonight. Welcome, everybody. Welcome to the tonight show. This is it. [ cheers and applause ] youre here. You made it. Youre watching. Thank you very much. Heres what people are talking about. I saw that ted cruz is actually being considered by donald trump to be attorney general. Though it will be pretty awkward when he shows up on his first day of work and trump goes, i said tom cruise. [ laughter ] hes the top gun. [ applause ] yesterday, Vice President joe biden and Vice President elect mike pence had lunch together. Pence said, im eager to discuss the issues facing our nation. While biden said, if you tell the waiter its your birthday, you get a free piece of cake. [ laughter and applause ] i do it almost every day. Some more news out of the washington, it was announced that president obamas director of national intelligence, james clapper, resigned last night. Well, actually, obama just shut clapper off by doing this. [ claps ] [ laughter and applause ] then he was out. Hes already already in the car. Steve yeah. Jimmy yeah, hes out. Steve the clapper. Jimmy some celebrity news. Ricky martin announced that he is engaged to his boyfriend, who happens to be syrian. Yeah, thats right. Ricky got down on one knee and said, will you help me make Donald Trumps head explode . [ laughter and applause ] im not sure what to make of this, guys. Theres a new workout where people have you heard of this . People crawl like a baby. [ light laughter ] its a new thing, yes, because it strengthens your core while working your shoulders and hips. [ light laughter ] yeah, in response, babies were like, have you seen our bodies . [ laughter ] wrists dont normally have dimples. But, im just saying. You want us to be well, this seems kind of silly. A man is suing krispy kreme donuts for 5 million because its raspberryfilled donuts dont contain any real fruit. [ laughter ] while the judge said, do you really want to be involved with another lawsuit, governor christie . [ cheers and applause ] pick your battles. Pick your battles. Steve ohhey heyoh ohhey forget about it. Heyoh hey jimmy hey, yo, whoa. [ laughter ] steve oh jimmy well, this made me laugh here. A newscaster in seattle was showing off googles new quick draw feature. Do you know this thing . It uses Artificial Intelligence to guess what youre trying to draw. Well, check out how it went. You have to draw things very quickly on the screen, and then the computer guesses what it is. Give me one. Give me one. All right, good. A cannon, a cannon. [ laughter ] i dont know what what do you do . What do you do . [ laughter ] thats so good. Oh, it just got so much worse. [ applause ] jimmy now draw two cannon balls. No, no, no, hey, stop were canceled. Steve make it shoot [ audience groans ] [ laughter ] jimmy guys, this is pretty big. Thursday night football just started on nbc tonight. That was a big deal for us. [ cheers and applause ] with the panthers taking on the saints, we couldnt be more excited. I saw that the league is actually looking for ways to make watching football more fun, including fewer ad breaks and the difference, stuff like that. Thats not all theyre doing. You know, i mean, for instance, one extra point must be kicked by the stadiums drunkest fan. Do you know that . [ applause ] steve i didnt know. Jimmy also, theyre doing a a new thing now. Referee mics must be autotuned. Listen. Half the distance to the goal first down new england [ applause ] jimmy i think that could work. Steve id watch. Jimmy and finally, commentary is now provided by morgan freeman. Listen to this. After a brief scuffle, the leader emerges from the flock. He struts back and forth, seeking a connection, but his attempt is doomed. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you see, i think its going to work. Im excited. Im ready for next thursday. As i just mentioned, we had the Carolina Panthers and the new Orleans Saints right here on nbc. Now, as you know, at the end of every season, they give out awards like most valuable player. They also give out awards during the season, sort of like ones in High School Year books, like most likely to succeed, class clown, stuff like that. So, with that in mind, its time for tonight show superlatives. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] tonight show superlatives jimmy our first player is brenton bersin. Hes a wide receiver for the Carolina Panthers. He was voted most likely to be the love child of Neil Patrick Harris and eric trump. Steve wow. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy heres panthers tight end greg olsen. He was voted most likely to kick snow in your face and say, see you at the bottom of the mountain, dweeb. [ laughter and applause ] next from the saints is luke mccown. He was voted most likely to wear overalls as underwear. Well, thats smart. [ laughter and applause ] steve hey jimmy next up from the panthers, is ryan kalil. He was voted most likely to cohost tool time. well, ive seen him before. Steve ive seen him. Jimmy yeah. Next up is saints quarterback drew brees. He was voted most likely to tell you that his only goal is to make your mom happy, and that you can tell him dad whenever you are ready. [ laughter and applause ] take your time with that. Its a rare award. Steve thats very rare. Jimmy and finally, from the saints, is cornerback b. W. Webb. He was voted most likely to ask his barber for the palm tree. There you guys have it. [ cheers and applause ] those are your nfl superlatives. We have a great show tonight give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, thank you very much. Welcome, everybody. Thank you so much. Its been a great week so far. Theres more ahead. Tomorrow night, megyn kelly will be here. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy were going play game of box of lies. Steve ooh. Jimmy plus, well have Chris Hardwick and thank you notes. [ cheers and applause ] its going to be good. Its a good show. But first, we have a big show tonight. Shes an Academy Awardwinning actress who is already receiving awards for her work in an amazing new movie called lion. It opens next friday. Its gonna get nominated for every award. My pal, Nicole Kidman is here, ladies and gentlemen. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy nicole and i nicole and i are going to talk about some old times. Steve real good. Jimmy talk about her great new movie, then were going to face off in the jinx challenge, and were gonna see if we have any chemistry there. Because last time she was here, she really she dropped the bomb on me [ light laughter ] steve yeah. Jimmy yeah. She came last time and just yeah, she apparently steve apparently. Jimmy i yeah. Apparently, we went on a date. Steve yeah, but jimmy i didnt know this story, and i dont know, its just steve you didnt know it was a date. Jimmy i thought i was up for a movie role, and so my friend called me and said, like, hey, dude, im with Nicole Kidman. Were going to come to your apartment. And i was like, oh, im on the street. Like, okay, hold on. Ill be home. I think i had one of those tmobile flip phone things. Thats how long time ago it was. Yeah, its like you know, the one that flips around. So i was like, all right, dude. Ill call you. He goes, just i said, what do i do . I dont know if i even have anything. I have, like, im a single dude. Im on saturday night live. Im like, i have, like, sneakers and, you know, video games. Thats all i have, yeah. And she goes he goes, go get some brie and crackers. [ light laughter ] steve no. Jimmy i dont know what brie is at the time. I was like, is that a cheese . I guess thats a cheese. So i go to my deli, and im like, do you have brie . I dont know what hes like, yeah, go right over there. And i got saltine crackers. Steve is that the only cracker you knew . Jimmy i dont know any crackers. Steve is that the only cracker youve seen . Jimmy that is the correct so i pulled, you know, the plastic. I did i opened it up, and i kind of fanned out the saltines to make it look nice. [ laughter ] anyways, nicole came over and we well, i dont know. Apparently there was no chemistry, yeah. [ laughter ] steve ouch. Jimmy but last time she was here, i mean, it was you could really steve you could cut it with a knife. Jimmy no, you could see that there was no chemistry. [ laughter ] but anyway, nicoles coming out later. Shell be fun. Also, hes getting awesome reviews for his role in the new movie Nocturnal Animals. Michael shannon is stopping by. Steve oh. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i love that guy. Hes a great, great, great actor. I love him. Hes super fun, too. And we got great music tonight from grammy awardwinner Miranda Lambert, ladies and gentlemen steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] Jimmy Miranda lambert, oh, i love her. Guys, it is time for tonight show hashtags. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] Hashtags Hashtags jimmy here we go. Do you guys use twitter at all . [ cheers and applause ] yeah, well, we use we use twitter on our show every single week, so if you watch our show and you want to play along, we do this thing every wednesday where i send out a a hashtag. We ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. So, since thanksgiving is coming up next week and people will be spending time with their families, i went on twitter, and i started a a hashtag called myfamilyisweird. [ laughter ] i asked you guys to tweet out something funny, weird, or embarrassing about a family member. We got thousands and thousands of tweets, a lot of weird people, yeah. In fact, within 30 minutes, it was a trending topic in the u. S. [ cheers and applause ] so, thank you for those tweets. Now, i thought i would share some of my favorite myfamilyisweird tweets from you guys. Here we go. This one is from faidygirl. She says, my aunt has two facebook pages for herself. She posts statuses on one page, then comments to herself on it from the other. [ laughter and applause ] great conversation. First steve like jimmy this ones from baylorcaitlyn. She says, my grandpa turns all three tvs to the same channel and turns them up. He calls it surround sound. its like okay. [ laughter and applause ] this ones from 2muchhat. Steve too much hat. Jimmy its too much hat, man. Its too much. [ light laughter ] he says, we celebrate the dogs birthday every year, which is also my birthday. We have to share one boneshaped cake. [ laughter ] its like [ applause ] what . Steve oh. Jimmy yeah, and he only celebrates every seven years. Steve yeah. [ light laughter ] jimmy this ones from monicam. M. 9. She says, my brother once ordered the quicky at a a restaurant. He was ordering the quiche. He was like [ laughter ] steve quickie means a a different thing. [ laughter ] jimmy either way, thats going to take about ten minutes. [ laughter ] this ones from samanthalynn13. She says my mom didnt want to move to the west coast because she thought breaking news would be delayed by three hours. Its like [ laughter and applause ] this ones from andrewfreel13. He says, a doctor once discovered two pennies stuck to my dads butt during a a physical. [ laughter and applause ] what . Steve wait, what . Jimmy maybe they fell down his pants. I dont know. Steve maybe they just jimmy i dont know, man. I wasnt there. [ light laughter ] i know im just your doctor, but heres my two cents. Steve oh, my god. Jimmy you got change for a a dollar . [ laughter ] this is from galgosrgreat. She says, my uncle once polished the front half of his car because its the only part he sees when he drives it. [ laughter and applause ] there you go. Those are our tonight show hashtags. [ cheers and applause ] check out more of our favorites go, to tonightshow. Com hashtags. Well be right back with Nicole Kidman, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] this one is from Channel Islands national park. Coronado. Saguaro. Youll see theres one thats an eagle. My number one goal is getting more funds out to parks because some animals and plants are only found in one place in the world, and thats in some national parks. I find thats a great cause, and i want to support it. avo the subaru share the love event has donated over four Million Dollars to help the national parks. Get a new subaru, and well donate two hundred and fifty dollars more. Put a little love in your heart. No. They come from thes come stomach. Heart. Give the gift of quality time with an applebees gift card. And receive a 10 bonus card for yourself. Only at applebees. Come on why doesnt verizon offer unlimited data like tmobile . Is it because their lte network was built six years ago . Six years ago . Thats like a hundred. In phone years. Their lte network is older, slower, and they limit you. Switch to tmobile. The newer, faster, and unlimited network. We cover 99 of the americans verizon covers. Get 4 lines, just 40 a month. Rrowl. People spend less time lying awake with aches and pains with advil pm than with tylenol pm. Advil pm combines the number one pain reliever with the number one sleep aid. Gentle, nonhabit forming advil pm. For a healing nights sleep. We have your fingerprints soon the safe. , a photo of you opening the safe. A post using the hashtag justrobbedthesafe so, what are we supposed to think . Switching to geico could save you a bunch of money on Car Insurance. Excellent point. Case dismissed. Geico. Because saving fifteen percent or more on Car Insurance woo because saving fifteen percent or more on Car Insurance is always a great answer. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest this evening is an academy and multiple golden globe Award Winning actress. Starting next friday november 25th, you can see her alongside rooney mara and dev patel called in yet another critically acclaimed movie. It is called lion. Please welcome to the show, the immensely talented Nicole Kidman, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi pal. You look beautiful. Welcome back to the show. Here we go again. Jimmy no, no. No, this is very exciting for me. Im glad that youre here. And im glad you came back. Yeah, thank you. Jimmy cause last time oh, god i so didnt want to come back. [ light laughter ] jimmy you have to come back forever. I made a new movie lion, so thats why im here. Jimmy no yeah. I know. Yeah. [ light laughter ] the last time we were chitchatting. We were chatting. Yeah. Jimmy having a good time, and talking, and then you mentioned some story that id never heard before. I didnt realize. Youd heard it. Jimmy no, i did not hear it ever. No youve been there, though. Jimmy well, i was there. But i didnt realize anyway we have jimmy we once a disagreement on the date. Jimmy we once went on a a date together, and i had no idea that that was true. I didnt realize but, you know wow. It was a shocker. [ light laughter ] shocker to say the least. And anyway, the past is the past. Lets leave it that way. Yeah. Okay. Jimmy youve moved on, ive moved on. Im over it. Good. Jimmy im over it. So lets just talk about whats happening with you. How are things . How are things . Ive been doing some reading, and some dream weaver [ cheers and applause ] jimmy. Are you are you listening to me . Jimmy yeah yeah yeah. Sorry sorry. No, it all sounds good. Anyways lets see what else. Holidays. Holidays coming up. Got any plans for the holidays . I do, actually. Ive got well, im going to cook a turkey. Dream weaver [ cheers and applause ] anyway. Did you just hear what i said . Jimmy whats that . Yeah. Did you hear what i said. Jimmy yeah yeah yeah. What am i going to do . Jimmy christmas turkey, whatever yeah. Thanksgiving is coming up. Yeah. Jimmy maybe if im in nashville, maybe i can stop by for dinner. No no no no no no no no [ cheers and applause ] jimmy im just spitballing here. You know what i mean . Yeah. Anyway jimmy anyways. Steve im sorry to interrupt. Jimmy what is it, higgins . Steve i just overheard you guys talking about the holidays. And actually, i have a really fantastic stuffing recipe. It involves bread, butter dream weaver steve a little sausage, a little sage. A little bit of this. Mix it together. Put a little sausage in there. Go like that. And he got it as a fantastic recipe. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy and scene. Nicole kidman, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] well, theres more to the story. Jimmy theres more to the story . Yes. Because this dream weaver crap. Come on. [ laughter ] jimmy what do you mean . The buffet. Jimmy the what . The buffet. Jimmy we didnt have a a buffet. No, we were at David Finchers house. I think it was davids house. And it was when brad and jen were still together. So it was a long time ago. And you could have asked for my number then. Cause it was round two. Well second chance. [ light laughter ] and you still didnt ask for it. [ light laughter ] jimmy i dont know whats going on. What is happening right now . Do not pretend. Jimmy we were at a buffet at David Finchers house and i didnt ask for your number . In the kitchen. In the kitchen. And thats even more offensive, that you dont remember. Do you remember the kitchen and the buffet . Do you . [ light laughter ] see . Jimmy what do you mean he had a buffet in his kitchen. I really do remember this. They had the food laid out in the kitchen. It was a big dinner party. Jimmy so who was in the kitchen . My agent had said, jimmy is going to be there. And youll see, that he can ask for your number. Because it may kind of happen this way. And youll see. And we were lurking in the kitchen. Everyone went out. And im like waiting and waiting and waiting, and youre at the buffet. And this is so true, and you know it. [ light laughter ] and you still didnt ask for my number. Jimmy i cant believe it. So, you were so not interested. Jimmy no it wasnt i wasnt interested. Its okay. Its okay. Jimmy youre out of my i would think. Everyones shocked. [ light laughter ] jimmy the shock is for a a different reason. Theyre like, he wouldnt have a chance in hell with Nicole Kidman. Why would i, why would i even ask you . He wasnt interested. Youre pretending. Jimmy what are you talking about . Anyway lets move off it. Because weve gone way off track again. Jimmy youre the one