And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 609 yo, jersey steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh thats a hot crowd [ cheers and applause ] thats what im talking about. Welcome. Welcome, everybody. Thank you for being here. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Welcome to the tonight show. This is it. This is the show to be at [ cheers and applause ] this is the one to watch. Im your host jimmy fallon. Guys, heres what people are talking about. Lets get to some news here. I saw that abc will air a a primetime special with President Trump tomorrow night, marking his first interview since taking office. Even though the interview hasnt even aired yet, trump is already claiming it was watched by a billion people. [ laughter and applause ] how would he know that . Steve thats a lot of people. Jimmy you can find this stuff out. And today President Trump signed executive orders to continue construction on the controversial keystone and Dakota Access oil pipe lines. [ audience ohs ] i guess he hasnt seen a a massive protest since saturday and he kind of misses it. [ applause ] actually, trump even invited the press to watch him sign one of his First Executive orders. All he had do was sign his name. So lets see how it went. Weve been talking about this for a long time. Thank you. [ camera shutters ] [ laughter ] okay. Jimmy there you go. Come on. [ laughter and applause ] he thought it was boring . Steve so boring . Jimmy i dont know. Steve i dont jimmy i saw that President Trump also issued a a proclamation declaring his Inauguration Day a national day of patriotic devotion. Yep, thats what he wants to call Inauguration Day. Yeah, it turns out trump is trying to give other holidays unique names as well. For instance, president s day is now me month. Steve wow. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy a whole month. Passover is now combover. [ laughter and applause ] steve really . Jimmy and finally, tax day is cancelled. Steve really . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its just mark it on your calendar. Just mark it on your calendars. Steve only for him though, yeah. Jimmy make those make those changes. Check this out. Rolling stone just did a big profile on Vice President mike pence and revealed that pence grew up with a corn field in his backyard. Yeah. I guess at times he even heard a voice coming from it that said [ whispering ] if you build it mexico wont pay for it. Then he goes, [ laughter and applause ] what . What . This past weekends Big Box Office winner was split, starring james mcavoy as a man with multiple personalities. When asked how he felt about the films success, mcavoy said, its great. Couldve been better. Cant wait for a sequel id never do a sequel. [ applause ] but of course, last night was another crazy episode of the bachelor. We love the bachelor here. Its all very [ cheers and applause ] very exciting. One of the best scenes was when two contestants named corinne and josephine talked about how disgusted they were at the other contestants. If you missed it, dont worry. Because here to reenact that scene with actual lines from the show, are the roots own tariq and questlove. Guys [ cheers and applause ] tariq thanks, jimmy. Tonight ill be playing corinne, a 24yearold Business Owner from miami, who is disgusted with the other contestants. [ light laughter ] questlove and ill be playing josephine. A 24yearold registered nurse from santa cruz whos also disgusted with the other contestants. Jimmy great. Whenever youre ready. [ laughter ] questlove its absurd to me how unaware taylor is, and it pains me to see nick being so intrigued by someone tariq that has no idea . I know. [ laughter ] i think its messed up. Questlove i feel like everything they say and do is hypocritical. Tariq hypocritical, yeah. Questlove yeah. [ laughter ] of course. Tariq of course. Of course. Questlove like, people keep talking about your nap. Tariq i know people are upset about my nap . Like, all they could say was, you took a nap and that was bad . Like i didnt mean to offend anyone by taking that nap. Okay . Michael jordan took naps. [ laughter ] Abraham Lincoln took naps. And im in trouble for napping . Like, i cant even. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy there you go. Thats what im talking about. Thank you. Yes. I cant even i cant even oh, my gosh. Questlove and tariq. Thats way [ cheers and applause ] thats way too much applause. We have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh thats how you do if right there. The multitalented roots right there, everybody. Give it up for the roots, once again. [ cheers and applause ] we have a fantastic show tonight. Hes one of the funniest guys ive ever met. He has a new book out called canada. The one and only mike myers is here tonight [ cheers and applause ] steve oh, yeah jimmy yes steve my brother from another mother. Jimmy i like that dude, man. Later in the show, mike and i are going to have a a a danceoff. [ cheers ] we have a we have a dance rival steve ry. A dance rivalry . Jimmy rivalry. [ light laughter ] sorry. Hes my dance hes my steve you have a dance rival. His name is gary. Jimmy yeah, rivalry. We just when we get together, we just we tell some jokes, but then we just have a danceoff. Steve you dance. Jimmy yeah, he knows. Steve oh, we know. Every time i see together, its like, talk, talk, dance. [ light laughter ] it dont stop. Like im watching ddr, man. Jimmy thanks man. [ laughter ] dance dance revolution . Uh, plus, im very excited to talk to this guy ddr. No one calls it ddr. [ laughter ] im so excited to talk to this guy. Hes interviewed some of the most successful people out there and put all of their tips and advice in his new book called tools of titans. Tim ferriss is dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] thats a big book. Steve thats a book jimmy hes brilliant. Hes so fun. And we got some music from some newcomers here tonight. Steve aoki and Louis Tomlinson are here [ cheers and applause ] steve oh jimmy theyre very excited theyre [ cheers ] you want to hear a little . A little taste a little taste of steve bust off a little piece. Just a little bit. Jimmy just hold on is the song. Oh oh oh jimmy thats it. Steve thats all . What . Jimmy no thats it. Because you have to watch the show to see what theyre going to do. Steve they gonna do any more tonight . Jimmy yeah, no thats i mean, yeah, theyre going to start with that. Thats around the front. Steve thats around the front of the song . [ light laughter ] jimmy and then it goes from there. Steve how are you going to stop dancing when it comes on . Jimmy whats up . You can start dancing but just hold on right now. [ light laughter ] steve bing jimmy uh, hey guys, you know me. I love music. Steve mmhmm. Jimmy and a i wanted to do something fun. So we reached out to some of my favorite musicians and asked them to tell us the true meaning behind some of their biggest hits. The results were pretty interesting. It is time for behind the lyrics. [ cheers and applause ] behind the lyrics behind the lyrics a lot of people think our song cake by the ocean is a a fun party song, but its actually quite dark. Cake by the ocean cake, frosting, icing, ice, iceberg, ocean. Its about the titanic. Is that the boat with Leonardo Dicaprio . [ laughter ] well, the song traveler is about seeing life through the eyes of an nba referee. You know, theyre used to this kind of stuff all day long. [ laughter ] this ones for you guys. Oh, and for the people that work at foot locker too. [ laughter ] theres a line in starving that goes the more that i know you the more i want you. I was really struggling to stay away from a relationship that wasnt so great for me. Um it was with the cheesecake factory. [ light laughter ] have you seen their menus . Theyre like phone books. How do you say no to that . Behind the lyrics [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to dnce, chris stapleton, and Hailee Steinfeld for helping us out with that. Stick around. Well be right back with more of the tonight show, everybody come on back [ cheers and applause ] look closely. Hidden in every swing, every chip, and every putt, is data that can make the difference between winning and losing. The microsoft cloud helps the pga tour turn countless points of data into insights that transform their business and will enhance the game for players and fans. The microsoft cloud turns information into insight. 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Lets just admit it, we live in a branddriven society. Name recognition is everything. Steve everything. Jimmy the problem is, what make as good name for one thing, might make make a bad name for Something Else, or make a great name for Something Else. With that in mind its time for a segment we call good name, bad name, great name. Here we go. Good name bad name great name [ cheers and applause ] you understand the idea of the bit, higgins . Steve no, i do not. Jimmy all right, so now like [ light laughter ] a good name, sometimes could be a bad name, but sometimes could be a great name. Steve i still dont follow you. Jimmy let me see let me give you an example. Steve please do. Jimmy first up, we have guess, thats a good name for a clothing company. Steve what . Jimmy its a bad name for an s. A. T. Prep course. [ laughter ] its a great name for a High School Cafeteria meat. I mean, see what im saying . [ cheers and applause ] you go guess. I dont know what it is. Steve i guess. Jimmy yeah. Yeah, you youre catching on. Youre catching on. Steve im catching on, but i dont quite get can you give me, another example . Jimmy i mean, were were on the air, but, sure. [ light laughter ] ill give you another example. Steve okay, great. Thank you. Jimmy next up, we have target. Steve sure. Jimmy well, thats a good name for a retailer. Steve mmhmm. Jimmy its a bad name for camouflage. [ laughter ] great name for cnn at a White House Press conference. You see what im saying . Steve wow. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy now are you understanding . Youre still not understanding . Steve im still not getting it. Jimmy like, what what, are you not listening . Are you listening to Something Else . Steve no. I am listening, target, is a a store or a clothing jimmy do you want an earpiece or something . Do you need steve i would love something, because im not getting this bit at all. Jimmy i understand, let me give you another example, again, we are on the air. Steve i hate to do this to you people at home jimmy understood steve but do you happen to have one more . Jimmy yeah, all right. Heres another example. Steve id love to hear it. [ light laughter ] jimmy the grammys, is a a good name for a music awards show. Steve uhhuh. Jimmy it is a bad name for a pot dealership. [ laughter ] its a great name for a gang of violent grandmothers. Here they come the grammys [ cheers and applause ] steve hey, sonny ride around on motorcycles. Jimmy yeah. Steve macheteing people. Jimmy yeah, so now now your understanding them. Steve i think, but jimmy yeah, let me give you another example. Steve please, nail it home. [ light laughter ] jimmy next theres dropbox. Steve yeah, i know dropbox. Jimmy well thats a good name for a file hosting service. Steve yeah. Jimmy its a bad name for a a moving company. [ laughter ] its a great name for an amazon drone. Steve ah [ cheers and applause ] drop your box dropbox. Jimmy next we have, split. Steve split jimmy that is a good name, for a horror movie. Steve ooh. Jimmy its a bad name for a a Pants Company for overweight people. [ laughter ] its a great name for a divorce lawyer. You see what im saying . [ laughter and applause ] its called split. Steve maybe just one i think if i heard one more i would understand. Jimmy ill give you ill give you one more example. This ones its our tenth example. Steve okay. [ light laughter ] jimmy finally we have bye, bye birdie. Steve yes, i know that. Jimmy that is an upcoming live musical on nbc. Its a good name for that. Steve yeah. Jimmy it is bad name for a a veterinarians office. [ laughter ] it is great name for kfc. Steve oh, i get it [ laughter and applause ] jimmy ill ex explain it to you later. Steve its a great name for kfc jimmy ill tell you later. [ cheers and applause ] thats all the time we have for good name, bad name, great name. Well be right back with mike myers, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] what is so hard to understand . Larms wheres the car . Itll be here in three. Uh, four minutes. Are you kidding me . No, looks like he took a wrong turn. Dont worry, this guys got like a fourstar rating, were good. His name is randy. Thats like one of the most trustworthy names ordering a getaway car with an app . Are you randy . Thats me awesome surprising. Whats not surprising . How much money erin saved by switching to geico. Everybody comfortable with the air temp . I could go a little cooler. Ok. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. At olive garden. Y one take one, starting at 12. 99. So you can enjoy family time one more time come on in for new grilled chicken, tossed in a creamy alfredo sauce plus all the salad and breadsticks you want and leave with a great meal too buy one take one. Starting at 12. 99 have seconds of food and family only for a limited time. At olive garden. Have you tried the tissue test . 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We are joined right now by one of the funniest actors and comedians on the planet. His credits include such films as waynes world, austin powers and shrek to name a a few. [ cheers and applause ] he also has a new book out entitled canada which is in stores now. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the one and only mike myers [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you must feel the love do you feel it . Oh oh that is the love right there. [ cheers and applause ] oh, my goodness whew jimmy 12 entrance entrance. I love it. Mike myers in the house. Oh, i love you. [ cheers and applause ] they love you. We love you. I want more of mike myers i want mike myers all day, all week, all month, all year long. [ cheers ] okay. Yeah, i will do that. Jimmy well, im starting with this. Now i have a book by mike myers. Canada. Yes. Jimmy why did you write this book . What is it, a love letter to canada . It is a love letter to canada. Canada is 150 years old this year. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its a big deal. And its the sesquicentennial. Thats what we call it. Jimmy thats great. Its catchy. [ light laughter ] and Penguin Random house asked me to write this book and its my 53year relationship with the country that i love. Jimmy look at this guy here. I mean, this is unmistakably mike myers. [ laughter and applause ] i mean, look at how cute. Its almost like wayne with garths hair. [ laughter ] a little bit. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy its a very cute boy. That wig is made of fine quality human hair. [ laughter ] and you can swim in it. You can swim in it. Jimmy you could swim with that wig on . Thats fantastic. How old were you there . Do you remember when this picture at all or you 21. Jimmy oh, wow. [ laughter ] you look very young. Im not great with ages. Im not great with ages, but i think i was in my early 20s. Jimmy but youve lived in new york city for a long time now. Youre obviously a yeah. Jimmy since snl days . Ive lived in america for 33 years which is longer than how long i lived in canada. Jimmy yeah. So. Jimmy but do you whats the difference between canada and america . If you can well i love both places, but canada is definitely my home. I think the big thing is that canadians are way more polite than americans. [ light laughter ] and its just true. Were sort of but were almost polite to a burlesque level. You know . Like our National Motto could be sorry, eh. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, yeah, they really polite. Yeah. We say sorry all the time, which is sorry jimmy yeah. Sorry. But you know, mexico has a a mexican standoff with two guys with guns. A canadian standoff is two people trying to go through the same door. [ light laughter ] jimmy uhhuh. And canadians will just stand there for hours and it would be like, after you. Oh, no, no, after you. [ laughter ] but you got groceries. I know, but its mostly junk food, so you go first. [ laughter ] and it would be like, now that ive lived in new york for so long, i go up to canada im like, go just go [ laughter ] jimmy go through the door hurry up i pick one for push. Literally, well be there for hours. Jimmy how many kids do you have now . I have three kids now. Jimmy and how old is spike the oldest, right . Spike is 5. Jimmy does he have is a a canadian accent like you . No, no, no, no, no, no. Jimmy he doesnt say sorry. He doesnt say sorry. Actually hes got a lit