Transcripts For WCAU The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

WCAU The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon June 27, 2017

Roots crew. Questlove show 700 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hey thats a hot crowd. That is a hot crowd here tonight. Welcome [ cheers and applause ] i love you thank you very much. [ cheers ] weve got a fun show for you tonight. Welcome to the tonight show, everybody. This is it. [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much. Heres what heres what people are talking about, you guys. I saw that yesterday, President Trump said that obama copied him by calling the Republican Health care bill mean. [ light laughter ] and then obama said trump copied him by spending the last six months doing nothing. [ laughter ] steve wow. [ applause ] jimmy actually, though, obama is taking some heat right now. Because it came out that two senators tried to warn him that russia was trying to hack the election and he ignored them. [ audience ohs ] trump promises that if he ever gets top secret information about russia, hell do the responsible thing and tweet it. [ laughter and applause ] thats what you do. Nancy pelosi was talking about her first meeting with trump and she said that he served pigs in a blanket and kosher meatballs. [ light laughter ] its good to know that even the president has a bunch of food from costco that he is trying to get rid of. [ light laughter ] hes like you sure you dont want any pizza rolls . [ applause ] bagel . Bagel pizzas . [ laughter ] steve taquitos . Jimmy in a new interview, ivanka trump said that she would give her dad an a as president. And ivanka said, a as in a series of unfortunate events. but still today [ laughter and applause ] it still counts. Steve as an a. Jimmy this is nice. I saw that this weekend mike pence officiated the wedding of treasury secretary Steve Mnuchin. Yep. Pence said you may now kiss the bride. Then he was like, not you, mr. President. [ light laughter ] thats right, treasury secretary Steve Mnuchin got married over the weekend. We were actually able to get a a copy of mnuchins wedding vows. Theyre very nice. Take a look. First mnuchin said today i feel so happy to be mnaking you mnisses mnuchin. [ laughter ] then he said, mnarriage is a a big commnmitment. I mnean when i say youre the mnost mnagnificent mniracle thats ever happened to me. [ laughter and applause ] and finally he said, thats why mny choice for our wedding song isnt mnaroon 5, its the mnuppets mnahna mnaha. i love you. [ laughter ] i mean, its a very [ applause ] its romantic. Very romantic guy. Actually, listen to this. House Speaker Paul Ryan recently had to remind members of congress to dress appropriately at work. I guess he thought they were getting too casual. Check out what some lawmakers had to say about it. First, congressman rick allen said, paul ryan is right, we should look professional. And congressman Peter Defazio said, i have no idea what ryan is talking about. [ laughter ] and finally congressman john conyers said, ryans just jealous that he doesnt own his own romphim. [ applause ] gotta have a romphim. Some news for travelers, the tsa is testing a new policy that makes passengers take out their books at airport security. The policy has already affected the three americans who still read books. [ applause ] its a big thing. Speaking of books, i saw that today marks the 20th anniversary of the release of the very first harry potter book. So we though wed [ cheers ] take a look at what all the characters are up to now two decades later. For example, heres draco malfoy 20 years ago. Today hes running his dads business. [ laughter ] isnt that nice . Steve thats sweet. Thats sweet of him. Jimmy next heres ron weasley, 20 years ago. Now hes a famous pop star. Steve wow. [ applause ] jimmy world famous popstar. Steve world famous. Jimmy next up, heres hagrid. [ light laughter ] today he is working on the next game of thrones book. Well, thats exciting. [ applause ] next here is mr. Ollivander when he worked in his wand shop. Now hes a senator from vermont. [ laughter and applause ] these are all its good to see what theyre steve fantastic, fantastic. Jimmy heres the last one. Heres Dudley Dursley 20 years ago. Today hes the governor of new jersey. [ cheers and applause ] steve wow jimmy its good to see that they are all doing great. We have a great show, you guys. Give it up for the roots, right there [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you very much, everybody. Hey thank you very much. Guys, it is monday. We are so happy to be back. We have a big week of shows coming up. Tomorrow night, steve carell will be here steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy love him. Plus we have lily collins and music from sheryl crow. [ cheers and applause ] a big show. We have a giant week this whole week. We have kristin wiig, we have alex rodriguez. [ cheers and applause ] alec baldwin [ cheers and applause ] steve hey jimmy and Julie Andrews will all be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] steve what . Jimmy but first we have a a great show tonight. He produced the soundtrack to the new movie despicable me 3. Pharrell williams is here. [ cheers and applause ] i love that dude. He is the real deal, man. Steve hes a good dude. Jimmy he doesnt stop. He does everything. He does music. He does fashion. He does producing. He makes his own he sings. Hes just hes always moving. Always doing something different. I just love that guy. Hes great. And the movie is fantastic, too, as well. Pharrell and i are going to play brand new game tonight with the roots called the name that song challenge. Steve whoa. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you dont want to miss that. Not feeling good. Im not feeling good. Steve you think youre gonna lose it . Jimmy i think well its pharrell. Steve its pharrell. But tomorrows carell. Jimmy but we were rehearsing we were rehearsing today. Well, the roots were playing and i was, of course, getting my mustache trimmed. And i was [ laughter ] steve that take eight hours . Jimmy eight hours. And no but i heard a song that they were gonna they just started playing. I ran in like a crazy man with a crazy my hair all over the place. I was like stop, stop, i dont want to hear anything. So its definitely we will not hear like a virgin tonight. Questlove no, we wont. Jimmy no, you wont. Questlove or will we . Jimmy what . Questlove we wont. Jimmy or maybe we will. Questlove we wont. [ laughter ] jimmy its a curveball, man. See, i dont know what to believe. Anyways, im always up for a a game. Im ready. Im gonna challenge pharrell tonight. It will be fun. Plus, he is a talented actor and the bestselling author of the Childrens Book series, the land of stories. Chris colfer is stopping by. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy these are great books. This is book number six, the land of stories worlds collide. This is the sixth one. He came on for the first one steve i know. Jimmy i mean, who writes six books . Steve i dont have time to read six books. Jimmy i know. But he wrote and he actually gets in he writes these books. Steve and theyre great books, too. Jimmy and theyre fantastic. Well, hes got some news to announce tonight. But this i mean, this is big news. Hes got crazier news. But its awesome, we love him. Chris colfer is the best. And weve got great music. We love when he comes by. Vince staples is here tonight, you guys. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy big fish theory. Steve the theory of big fish. Jimmy theory of a big fish. Name of the album is big fish theory. Thats a pretty big fish. Steve thats a big goldfish. Jimmy this is you know, actual size i think it was an actual size. Steve of that goldfish . Thats a pretty big goldfish. Jimmy its a giant goldfish. Steve thats bigger than the cracker. The crackers are like that big. Jimmy yeah, but the crackers are not actual size. Steve i always thought they were. Im wrong. Thank you for teaching me. [ laughter ] jimmy big fish theory. I think its abraham. [ light laughter ] [ rim shot ] guys we all know a lot of news organizations you cant fool me. I know the real abraham. [ laughter ] we all know a lot of news organizations steve what . Jimmy i know the real you cant fool me, man. [ laughter ] nice try. Nice try. As we all know [ laughter ] a lot of news organizations rely on polls to determine how regular americans feel about certain political issues. Steve really . Jimmy yeah. But the Polling Industry is always trying to remain relevant, so theyve been releasing a lot of new polls about everyday life. Steve oh, great. Jimmy ill show you what i mean in a new segment called tonight show polls. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] tonight show polls jimmy the first poll asks, whats something youd be too embarrassed to show anyone. 60 said, my diary. 39 said, my browser history. [ light laughter ] and republicans said, our health care plan. [ applause ] see what im saying . These are all polls. Steve these are all different polls. Jimmy theyre very helpful. These are helpful. The next poll asks, if Justice Kennedy retires, who should replace him . 25 said, whoever trump appoints. 25 said, someone moderate. 50 said, beyonces twins. Steve wow. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hot topic. Steve already. Jimmy next they asked, what is the most important thing on bring to the beach . 40 said, a bathing suit. 59 said, sun block. Mike pence said, a blind fold. [ applause ] steve wow. Jimmy next they asked, do you have any vacation plans . 99 said, yes. Sean spicer said, no, but i have a feeling my schedule is about to really open up. [ laughter ] [ applause ] this poll asked, whats your favorite summer activity to do with your kids . 10 said, taking them to the beach. 15 said, playing games with them in the backyard. 75 said, dropping them off at the inlaws and hoping they keep them the rest of the summer. [ applause ] steve wow. Thats 75 . Jimmy 75 steve three quarters of the population. Wow jimmy this next one asks, do you hate when people interrupt you. 80 yes, i hate when people 20 said, no. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] steve the 20 are rude. Jimmy this next one asks, are you going to watch Michael Phelps race a shark . 30 said, i cant wait 70 said, at this point, ill literally watch anything thats not about trump. [ applause ] 70 said steve 70. Jimmy this last poll asked, do you like kens new man bun . [ light laughter ] this is the new ken doll. This is the new ken doll everybodys talking about. Do you like kens new man bun . Steve kens new man bun. Jimmy yep. 100 said, nope. There you go. [ laughter and applause ] thats all we have for tonight show polls. Were playing the name that song challenge with Pharrell Williams after the break stick around, everybody [ cheers and applause ] liz assumed she could trust her dating site. Liz assumed all dressings were made equal. Assume nothing. Just like the leading brands, these kraft dressings are made with high quality ingredients, at a price you can feel good about. No wonder kraft is so good. Bmilk and fresh cream,a. And only sustainably farmed vanilla. What is this . A vanilla bean . Mmm breyers the good vanilla. We use nongmo sourced ingredients in some of americas favorite flavors. Mmm so, if anyone has a reason that these two should not be wed, speak now. coughs so sorry. Oh no. Its just that your friend daryl here is supposed to be Live Streaming the wedding and hes not getting any service. I missed, like, the whole thing. What . And i just got an unlimited plan. Its the right plan, wrong network. You see, verizon has the largest, most reliable 4g lte network in america. Its built to work better in cities. Tell you what, just use mine. Thanks. No problem. All right, lets go live. Say hi to everybody who wasnt invited vo when it really, really matters, you need the best network and the best unlimited. Just 45 per line for four lines. Its time that we bring addicand into the light. Kness to everyone struggling in silence addicts, family, friends you are not alone. Its time we lift each other up, reach out, say something. Addiction is a disease. Dont suffer. Dont wait. Help is within reach. Call 844 reach nj or go to reachnj. Gov the road to recovery starts now. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody were about to play a brand new musical game. It is time for the name that song challenge. Here we go [ cheers and applause ] name that song name that song challenge jimmy now, tonight ill be facing off against a very worthy opponent. He is an 11time grammy award winner. And his new movie despicable me 3 is in theaters on friday. Give it up for Pharrell Williams [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh my goodness thats what im talking about Pharrell Williams theres no one else like Pharrell Williams. Oh, man. Im happy youre here. [ cheers and applause ] welcome back. Thank you, thank you. Jimmy heres how it works. The roots are gonna Start Playing a song, one instrument at a time. Pharell and i can buzz in and guess as soon as we know the song. But if you guess wrong, your opponent gets a chance to steal, okay. You can play along at home. Roots, lets hear the first song. Do you want to test out the buzzer to see if it works . [ ringing ] were good. [ laughter and applause ] first song, here we go. [ ringing ] ah jimmy aha, take on me. Yes. [ dings ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy it was about to happen. It was. Jimmy it was about to happen. That was great, man. Wooo [ laughter ] man, oh, man. One of my favorite videos of all time, too. [ light laughter ] yes, were ready. Next song. [ ringing ] jimmy is it oasis . Yeah, yeah. Jimmy wonderwall . [ cheers and applause ] i thought it was jimmy i knew that [ laughter ] this is a fantastic game. Okay. [ laughter and applause ] are you feeling are you pumped up . [ cheers ] this is awesome, man. All right. The next song. This is not going well. Jimmy its going well, please. Lets hear the next song. All right, here we go. Yeah. [ ringing ] [ laughter ] sorry. Thats what i thought. Beaver. [ dings ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you get your friend in the audience, im gonna yell, sorry. I thought it was la isla bonita. No, no, no. She was apologizing for me not getting the song. [ laughter ] jimmy thats a good coverup. Thats a good cover up, yeah. All right, here we go. Got it. Jimmy lets hear the next song. Hes got that one. [ ringing ] jimmy toto, africa . [ cheers and applause ] come on come on come on stop, stop, you might run into something. [ light laughter ] oh, that was good right there. Oh, man. Thats my meme for the day. [ laughter and applause ] [ clears throat ] jimmy you have to play to the end. You have to play. There we go. All right, here we go. The next song. Dont you [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that so i thought it was [ laughter ] now youre doing like a karate moves. You got two, right . Big deal. Oh, please. [ light laughter ] i thought it was with or without you for a second. My hands are tied all right. Here we go. Im getting the hang of it. Jimmy this is good, yeah. This is good, all right. [ light laughter ] lets hear the next song. [ ringing ] Just Got Paid . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy Just Got Paid. Just got paid oh, please. Oh, my god. [ light laughter ] that is so oh, my god oh my oh, wow really . [ light laughter ] im oh, wow. By the way. Come on. Come on. Jimmy is that johnny kemp . Questlove yes. Jimmy Just Got Paid. Questlove or nsync. Everone thinks its nsync. But, johnny kemp did it first. Jimmy yup, i remember. All right, this is the final song. And this is worth 10,000 points. [ laughter ] its anyones game at this point. Here we go. And its been great. Im channeling my david blaine right now. [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah, here we go, me too. Youre not gonna spit a frog out, are you . No. Jimmy all right, here we go. [ ringing ] drop it like its hot . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy drop it like its hot . Oh, my gosh that was thats insane. Thats insane. [ cheers and applause ] that is insane. How did you get that . Pharrell williams, everybody [ cheers and applause ] the roots, everybody more with pharrell after the break. Stick around. The champion right there [ cheers and applause ] stop. For what most people think is authentic cajun food. Recalculating. Definitely recalculating. Free, free recalculating. Set me free recalculating. Set me free in 230 miles, youll arrive in new orleans. To authentic jambalaya, alligator and etouffee. 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