To be here tonight. I dont know how many of you were here but we had a crazy thing happen here yesterday. It rained on us. Down on us. It was rain. I was driving, there were literally dozens of raindrops on my wind shield. On the actual glass of my car. I had to pull over. It was crazy. And ill tell you something, whenever theres precipitation of any kind here in southern california, our local weather men and women, i much, whenever the sun does not shine, they do. The one thing we hardly ever expect here in southern california, rain. And quite a bit of it, especially here in pass dina. Check this out, we actually have a small stream now thats running along the road here on the streets of pasadena. Jimmy good god, why are you just standing . Get out of there [ laughter ] i dont know. Fortunately for another day. Tonight were having a Big Block Party concert out back with green day. [ cheers and applause ] youll have youll have the time of your life. Meanwhile, kanye west, i dont know if you heard, he canceled the remainder of his tour, the saint pablo tour, which was supposed to run through the end of the year. Kanye grounded it after another crazy concert in sacramento over the weekend. 30 minutes into his show he offstage and never came back. Why this is news, i dont know. It should only be news if kanye doesnt go on a tirade and storm offstage. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] it was strange because he only did two songs. But he did treat the audience to a tenminutelong rant complaining about beyonce, jayz, the election, mark zuckerberg, all sorts of other things bouncing around in his head. Everyone in the crowd recorded it and put on it youtube where this [ bleep ] crazy. We take a long night to vent like that. Sacramento [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. Should have had a bunch of [ bleep ] like you in there talking that weird [ bleep ]. Thats just my thought. I smoke weed. What the [ bleep ] is he on . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy jimmy if you did have tickets to see kanye, you will not be seeing kanye. Maybe he canceled the tour because donald trump is about to make him part of his cabinet. He would definitely do a good job running Donald Trumps twitter account. Did you hear the president elects thumbs were very busy this weekend. You probably heard trump started a twitter feud with a broadway musical. Hes fighting with hamilton. Thats right. The one thing everyone in this country loves, donald trump is mike pence went to see hamilton in new york. And he got a few boos from the crowd when he walked in. Afterwards during the curtain call the actor who played aaron burr read a message on behalf of the show. Vice president elect pence, we welcome you and we truly thank you for joining us here at hamilton an american musical. We sir are the diverse america who are alarmed and anxious that your new administration will not protect us. [ cheers ] or defend or defend us and union hold our inalienable rights, sure. We truly hope this show has inspired you to uphold our American Values and work on behalf of all of us. All of us. Jimmy all right, so that was friday night. The next morning trump got wind of this and started tweeting. He tweets, our wonderful future Vp Mike Pence was harassed last night at the theater by the cast then again, the theater must always an safe and special place. The cast of hamilton was very rude last night to a very good man, mike pence. Apologize very rude and insulting of hamilton cast member to treat our great future Vp Mike Pence to a theater lecture. Couldnt even medical rise the lines. Then the next morning, again the cast and producers of hamilton which i hear is highly overrated should immediately apologize to mike pence for their terrible not since john f. Kennedy had that very public feud with the cast of byebye birdie has there been such feeling between broadway and the white house. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i hope it stops soon, i dont know. Who gets in a fight with a musical . How is it possible that donald trump can get along with putin but not hamilton . [ laughter ] and what makes this even he said he was not offended by the speech, and in fact, he was slightly turned on by it and is working that out. Pence made the rounds on the sunday morning news shows yesterday. And this is what he said on both face of the nation and fox news sunday. I can tell you, i wasnt offended by what was said. I dont know when it was the appropriate venue to say it thats how you memorize lines, by the way. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy mike pence updated and ready to go. So mike pence wasnt offended but donald trump was. Why do i feel like were going to see a lot more of this dynamic . Trump still wants an apology and the cast of hamilton have agreed to apologize, as soon as trump apologizes to the jimmy that could be awhile coming. A story like this i wonder how closely people are paying attention to the details. This afternoon we went out on the street, we asked people what they thought of the news that Alexander Hamilton was harassing mike pence. Of course Alexander Hamilton has been dead for like 200 years. But did that stop people from nodding and knowing . Lets find out in tonights hamilton edition of lie witness news. Today, treasury secretary Alexander Hamilton is feuding with Vice President electricity mike pence after verbally harassing him. Do you think mike pence unless the right . Should alexander apologize . No, i do not think alexander should apologize to mike pence. I dont agree with a lot of the things that mike pence stands for. Donald trump is now saying that Alexander Hamilton wasnt even born in the united states. Do you think he should have to show his birth certificate . He definitely should have to whatever it takes. Sure. Do you think being from the 1700s has anything to do with Alexander Hamiltons petition . We go further when we reflect back in our history, i dont, so i dont know. Thats beautiful. Do you think mr. Hamilton, being from the 1700s, has anything to do with his position or does it not really matter . I dont really find that to be relevant to anything that is currently happening in todays, you know, society. Instead of staying dead and yeah, exactly. Are you going to watch the duel live on tv . Theres no doubt i will. What went through your mind when you saw him in that powdered wig on cnn . Did you think that was offputting . Yes, i cant believe hed do Something Like that. Describe that. Just one of those things that was so childish and that. Hard to describe. Almost like it didnt even happen . Yes. Yeah. [ cheers and applause ] anyone back to Trump University to get our heads straight. As you know, thanksgiving is on thursday. Black friday is on friday. I think, you know i would love to see these stores combine thanksgiving and black friday into a single celebration where you go to the mall and you beat a stranger over the head with a turkey leg. But thanksgiving, of course, is a time where we travel long distances so that our families can annoy us with all sorts of passive aggressive questions. It can be a terrible, intrusive our office, we gave our staffers a chance to answer the questions they expect to get at thanksgiving din they are year from their families so we can get this out of the way before they get home and sit down to eat. No, mom, phones not broken. Ill definitely call more often. Yeah, every day. Yes, i am going to eat all that. Yes, this is how much i usually drink. Youre making it worse. Yes, im still single. No, i didnt end up sticking to that diet. No, dad, i dont need any money. Actually, some money would be nice, so. Yes, i honestly think she was more qualified to be president of the united states. No, im not yes. Yes, i am a little drunk. No, mom, still not pregnant. Real h yes, grandpa, there are a lot of jew in the entertainment industry. Including my girlfriend. Sorry, mom, youre not getting a granddaughter. Everyone pick up your phone, you go to settings. And then wifi. And then select a network. Yes, im dating someone. No, you cant meet him. Ever. Oh, yeah, if we were really bummed you couldnt make it to no, grandpa, i didnt give guillermo that coonskin cap you september me to give him, sorry. Si, it does keep me warm. No, i cant get you tickets to metallica or coldplay. Im not the [ bleep ] ticket master. Yes, as jimmys assistant im also his best friend. And no we cannot facetime him right now. Jimmy nice . Yeah, hes [ bleep ] nice. Is jimmy always yeah, hes always [ bleep ] funny. No, i cant give you tickets to ellen because i dont work at ellen. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy makes sense, it really does. Hae we have to take a break. We have especially when we come back, the firstever politically correct thanksgiving pageant when we return. So stick around, well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] oh, lifesiz oh, lifesized dragon hand back scratcher. If only it came in a luffa. It does oh, a raisin rehydrator. It turns them back into grapes. Wow, what an exhausting journey. Thats a good wedding present. Good call. Thank you. And thank you, lady blue. With the blue cash everyday card from american express, you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. Oh, look at this. Disposable microphone for my uncle bobs 75th a one and done. Yes. Find your voice and then dispose of it. Its more than cash back. Look how big my hands are. Yeah. Ooh. Rawr. How much am i making for this again . Hundred k. Win or lose. Total cake walk. Ooh oooooooh her last opponent is still in a coma. What . I should go walk my cats. No. No no no. Amy, get in there and fight for your life. Isnt there an easier way to make a hundred k . Sure. Old navys giving away a hundred k everyday through black friday. Plus its 50 off your entire purchase. 50 off . you keep in touch with me, girl. Im going to old navy. Ahh . . . . How else do you think he gets around so fast . Take the reins this holiday and get the mercedesbenz youve always wanted during the winter event. Now lease the 2017 gla250 for 329 a month r local mercedesbenz dealer. When cold and flu hold you back try theraflu expressmax, now in new caplets. Its the only cold flu caplet that has a maximum strength formula with a unique warming sensation you instantly feel. Theraflu. For a powerful comeback. New expressmax caplets. Inside the rack houses of jim beam, every barrel is aged four long years, for a fuller, smoother flavor. Enjoy your phone you too. inner monologue all right, be cool. You got the amazing new iphone 7 on the house by switching to at t. What . . Aand you got unlimited data because you have directv . . Okay, just a few more steps. Door its cool get the iphone 7 on us and unlimited data z2y6 z26kjz zy6z y26kjy yy6y y26kby yy6y jimmy wel jimmy welcome back. Shia labeouf, anna camp, music from green day is all on the way. I feel like i must share this. Over the years weve seen on roller coasters. This one is special. This happened in florida. Panama city beach. A couple got on something called the slingshot ride. Thank god they got this on tape because i think it says a lot. Oh oh oh oh my god [ bleep ] [ bleep ] im going to throw up oh oh aah aah this view. No jimmy is she okay . Are you okay . [ laughter ] jimmy this is good. This is from the uk. A couple took their infant son out on some kind of a Wildlife Safari and it went like this. Wow. I wouldnt mess with them guys, bro. Its going to oh my god oh gosh. Jimmy how liquid fit inside that child in the first place . If you run that in reverse its extra horrifying. Back to thanksgiving. Most of us are familiar with the traditional tale of the first thanksgiving. You know how it went, the one we learned in school, heartwarming story. But this is not 1621, this is 2016. Some of the story is out of date. We thought it might be a good idea to update the story of thanksgiving to reflect our modern sense differents. With that said we proudly present the James Elementary School in the firstever politically correct thanksgiving pageant. Kids . [ cheers and applause ] please dont applaud. Its insensitive to people with no arms. [ laughter ] the place, plymouth, massachusetts. The year, 1621. If you choose to believe in the [ laughter ] let us begin. . . I am cold and hungry. Me too. But last night this mystic experience of all those who are not cold and hungry. Life partner, look, we have visitors. Yes, i see. Greetings, indigenous people. Greetings, nonindigenous people. Please dont. Its cultural appropriation. [ laughter ] your baby is very cute. Is it a squaw or a brave . Were not using gender labels yet. Well let it decide for itself how it identifies. [ laughter ] thank you for raising awareness nonindigenous people how to hunt, fish, and grow crops. Thats not to say that those who dont know these things are somehow lesser than those who do. In august of 1621, they all met in a safe space and had a locally sourced feast. Lets say grace. Dear generic higher power. [ laughter ] who we choose to believe in. Or not believe in. Thank you. Or never mind. Lets eat. Ive got a maize allergy, does anything here have maize in it . Everything has maize in it. Except for the turkey. Whoa. We dont eat turkey. Sight of it. Check your privilege, pilgrim [ laughter ] you check your privilege, indian whoa . Just as everyones triggers were being alerted, a thanksgiving miracle happened. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] hi, everyone what are you . Im a tofurkey gobble gobble gobble gobble im made of 100 bean curd and wheat protein. And i am gmo free. So dig in . This is this is disgusting yes, it tastes like wood pulp. Exactly you see, when we all come together and compromise and spend all of our time trying to please everyone, we end up with a lumpy knob of brown goo. Let un now let us sing. . . Thanksgiving we wish you a nonconfrontational thanksgiving . . We wish you anonanglo centric thank centric thanksgiving . . And a micro aggressionfree new year . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thanks. Thanks, kids. Well done. Very well done. Beautifully done. How about those kids, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] tonight on the show we have music from green day, anna camp is here. Be right back with shia labeouf [ cheers and applause ] . Dicky dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by hallmark channels countdown to are we on . Ahem. Allginger breadington here for targets 10 days of deals. Look its beats solo headphones in red carpet red from sundays 10 off electronics. Kitchenaid mixer from mondays 20 off kitchen is here too and it looks like the rumors are true. Pizza brought another pizza for wednesdays buy one get one free pizza deal so hot and what are these surprise deals . Well, stick around because they are sweet. . laughs. here it is. . . Hey dad . Wishes do come true. The lincoln wish list sales event is on. Get exceptional offers on the lincoln family of luxury vehicles. Sign and drive off in a new 2017 lincoln mkc with zero down and a complimentary first months payment. Discover card. Im not a customer, but im calling about that credit scorecard. Give it. Sure its free for everyone. Oh well thats nice and checking your score wont hurt your credit. Oh im so proud of you. Well thank you. Free at at discover. Com creditscorecard, jimmy jimmy hi, there. Tonight from the new show, streamable now on amazon prime, anna camp is here. And then their new album is right here called rev green day from the outdoor stage. Also weve had a lot of great performances on this show but none better than green day. So that will be great. This is special. Tomorrow night our Second Annual red special with bono, julia roberts, channing tatum, kristen bell, neil patrick harris, halsey, the killers, and dj khaled too, all live in studio for a very good cause, please join us tomorrow night for that. Terrific actor who on the side leads a very interesting life. His new movie is called man down. It opens in theaters december 2nd. Please say hello to shia labeouf [ cheers and applause ] . Jimmy very good to see you. I saw your movie this weekend and its crazy to see you because youre so sickly looking. Jimmy well, youre kind of militaristic in a way, now you look like you again. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy which is a testament to your acting. My wife and i were going on and on and on about what a good actor you are, which is true. Thank you. Jimmy you really do a lot of great movies. You did a weird thing, actually. Back to back to back to back in a theater, you stayed for the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Three days. Jimmy invited people to come. Three days worth of moviewatching. It was kind of crazy. It starts like an ironic, silly thing like most of the things i do, then it wound up in a cool, sincere place. Jimmy do you think to the end, as far as these things that you do, before you do them . Or you just see how it goes . No, no. Both. You set up boundaries then give it to everyone else and let them have it. Im boundaries . Basically it seemed to me that you put a camera on yourself while you watched all your movies and anyone who wanted to came in and keernd kind of did anything they wanted to. Some people are exhibitionists who want to sit right next to you and dress and up do stuff. Then some people want to lay in the cut, just be a part of it. So its really, you know, openended. Theres not a whole lot of boundaries other than youve got to kind of wait in line and that becomes its own thing. Jimmy we have a clip. This went on, as you said, three days. Jimmy which movie were you sleeping through . That was probably transformers. [ laughter ] jimmy i dont know if theres an explosion or something there you go, you woke up. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy that seemed like fun. You do these crazy you did another thing where you told people where you were and asked them to come give you a ride. Yeah. Jimmy then you just went with them. Sounds crazy on paper. Jimmy sounds crazy verbally as well. [ la in most ways, yeah. But it really turns into something special, man. You know, people want to be a part of something. Jimmy what happened there . Where did people take you . We started in colorado. We wound up in alaska. We hit every side of the nation. We went everywhere. Jimmy were people on their way to these places . Or did people say, i want to take you to alaska . Some people would quit their jobs ask and roll with you for three weeks. It started with the three of us like all the things we do. It wound up we had like 20 louisiana week. Until we got to canada and we had to lose a bunch of people because they didnt have their passports. We finished in alaska. Jimmy were there people that you thought at some point, i got to get them off this trip, i cant spend another day in a car with this guy . No, no. It manages itself, you know. Youll never have to mouth up. The group manages ils itself. You float, let people do their thing. Jimmy what are the other things youve done over the past year . We did a t