Feel like christmas here in hollywood. Theres gingerbread syrup in our lattes. Theres fake snow in our outdoor shopping malls. Tiny chihuahuas in santa hats are peeking out of our Louis Vuitton bags. Its really a wonderful time of the year. It can get a little depressing being in l. A. You can feel very alone during the holidays. Sometimes, i hope you dont mind me sharing this, but sometimes i feel like im the only one still celebrating kwanzaa. [ laughter ] metal ka is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] look at all those people, the streets are jam packed. Oh, this is a weird one. This is a real item that was posted for sale on amazon. Yesterday, i think. These are leggings for toddlers and children. As you can see, marijuana leaf printed repeatedly. I dont know how somebody happened upon this. But they did. Then they complained. People were upset. This morning amazon took it down and replaced the listing with this photo of a dog that is also clearly stoned out of her mind. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] millie, i had a dog named milley once. Pot leaf plants for children. In a way it makes sense. Toddlers, they sit around all day eating cookies and watching cartoons, they might be stoners. Only difference is stoners dont cry when you tell [ laughter ] im not sure if the subject of the pot plants came up but the ceo of amazon today met with donald trump. Yesterday the president elect met with bill gates, jim brown, and kanye west. Today he met with executives from amazon, tesla, apple, google, and facebook. He gathered all the major tech execs for a very important rope. He wanted to see if any of them could figure out his itunes login. [ laughter ] he had an old email account, he switched over its a long strorry but they got it strait straightened out. The ceo of twitter jack dory did not meet with donald trump, im guessing for the same reason dr. Frankenstein never went out of his way to meet the monster. Trump was in wisconsin as part of his thank you tour. They make a lot of beer in wisconsin. They drink a lot of beer in wisconsin. We slowed the donald down for a special americas dairy land edition of drunk [ tape playing slowly ] speaker paul ryan. Ive really come to oh, no ive come to appreciate him. Speaker paul ryan. Wheres speaker . Where is [ cheers and applause ] the leader of north korea, kim jongun, did something fun. Multiple news sources are reporting that he got drunk at his Vacation Home and ordered his military leaders to stay up all night writing apology letters for their failures. So they did. They stayed up all night, terrified, then the next morning he woke up and he was totally confused, he didnt remember any of it. What are you doing in my house . What are these letters for . And some of the leaders started were about to be executed or deported. Given a choice id go with deported. [ laughter ] is deported even a bad thing when youre living in north korea . I dont know. But apparently kim jongun drinks a lot, which helps to explain this snazzy new haircut he has, parted in the middle now. [ laughter ] [ applause ] that should be in the window of every supercuts in america. Terms were powerball, prince, hurricane matthew, and pokemon go. Which i think that sums our priorities as americans up. Money, celebrities, the weather, and playing games on our phones. Its going through this list, i feel like after going through it like 2016 was the longest year ever. Doesnt it feel like pokemon go happened in 1998 or something . [ laughter ] trump was the eighth most trending search, the election was ninth, hillaryli tenth. The leastsearched phrase . L. A. Rams tickets. [ laughter ] its a local joke. Every once in a while we throw one in. Its time now for what has for me become a cherished annual tradition. As the year winds down its time to honor the true heroes of our show, our tv watchers. Four actual human people sit through endless hours of television to find the absolute best of the absolute worst, and tonight thanks to their efforts under inhuman conditions, we that they found clip of the year. And the nominees are [ cheers and applause ] malted milk bald. Now you see him, now you dont. Beach balls. This is a release this makes a perfect circle. , what do you call that stuff . You should see the motions i make. [ cheers and applause ] tornadoh. That looks like a tornado. If i can get that super imposed on top of this. We do have what looks like a forming. No, tell them to pan back to the right. Pan back to the right. Pan back to the right were missing the wall cloud is to the right. Right in there. That is our wall cloud. That is what were going to be looking for. This is what were seeing. This is the wall cloud right here. If we can stay if we can tell them to stay right in the middle. Were missing it again. Its right here. This is where the wall cloud is. Dont zoom in. Thats not anything. This is whats called scud. This isnt any type of rotating cloud. This is our wall cloud right this is what will be causing the tornado. If they can zoom back out, that would be great. We have a tail cloud at the tail end of it over there, the funnel cloud theyre going the wrong direction once again. Laugh. Jimmy lotion commotion. We just came from shopping at the only store open on 86th street because my man did so well on his test, he wanted hand lotion and we got it. Let me ask you, youve got good marks and you wanted hand lotion . Its cold, right . There you go. Moisturizer. Jimmy and gop pileup. Welcome the candidates for the republican nomination for president. New jersey governor chris christie. Dr. Ben carson. Texas senator ted cruz. Businessman donald trump. Former Florida Governor jeb bush. Ladies and gentlemen, the republican candidates dr. Ben carson, please come out on the stage. Hes standing here as well. Dr. Carson. And donald trump. And lastly, we welcome back to the debate stage donald trump. Jimmy wow. [ cheers and applause ] theres so many, so many great entries. But only one can win the clip of the year for 2016 gop wow. Congratulations. And here tonight to accept the award for clip of the year is dr. Ben carson [ cheers and applause ] dr. Ben . Dr. Ben carson [ cheers and applause ] anyone . Ben carson, go, go jimmy dr. Ben carson, come on out, dr. Carson all right, i will just go ahead and accept this trophy on his behalf. We have to take a break. When we come back we put band against fan to find out which one of them knows more about metallica. Metallica will be here so stick around [ cheers and applause ] these as well. Luke . Amy. Its been years oh, you smell the same. Oh you guys are so goodlooking. And impeccably dressed. Thanks. Its all old navy. You sending off some last minute gifts . I miss us. You know . You should go to old navy. The entire store is up to 60 off right now. Thats an amazing idea. Okay, i think ill go there. Get out of here. I dont know what that is. Im just scratching my eyes. . O romeo,. Call me but love, henceforth i never will be romeo my love is deep, the more i give to thee. A thousand times goodnight. . Olive garden fills your holidays with new flavorfilled pairings freshly filled pastas bursting with indulgent flavors chicken, shrimp or steak plus all the salad and breadsticks you want your favorite things come together at the holidays, just press clean and let roomba from irobot help with your everyday messes. Roomba navigates your entire home. Cleaning up pet hair and debris for up to 2 hours. Which means your floors are always clean. You and roomba, from irobot. Jimmy tonight david spade is here. But first the streets outside our building are swarming with superfans, but only one superfan is the superfanniest of them all. One man will go head to banging head with his favorite band to know if he knows more about the band himself. Its time to play who knows metallica . Our first contestants are members of the rock n roll hall of fame, they have the number one album in the country, please welcome james, lars, robert, and kirk, metallica [ cheers and applause ] welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome, thank you for coming. Im not sure but you are about to do battle with a superfan, are you ready to meet . Were ready. Jimmy say hello to your obsessed opponent, a fireman who flew all the way from cleveland just to see you tonight, dave, come on out dave [ cheers and applause ] whats happening, dave . Jimmy there they are, thats them right there. Boo youre going down jimmy how much do you love melt ka . A lot, a lot. My whole life. Jimmy metallica, how much do you love dave . We dont know. Trying to figure it out. Jimmy i am going to ask a series of questions about metallica. If you know the answer you buzz in and say it. If youre wrong, you only get one shot, so confer. Your opponent will get a chance to answer. Correct answers are 10 points. The contestant . That is true, katy perry was defeated in this game, Ozzy Osbourne was crushed in this game. [ laughter ] were playing for a valuable prize possession. Whats on the line tonight . Dicky if dave wins hell take home this beautiful esp guitar signed by the entire band. If metallica wins they will walk away with one of daves prized possessions, his wallet. Jimmy thats right, this is daves actual i went through it. His license is in here. His learning permit is in here. Fireman badge is in this thing. Theres a harleydavidson punch card in here. And a receipt from walmart. So we got it all here. The stakes are very high. High credit limits on those cards, right . Jimmy hes not going to be able to go home without this wallet, so the stakes are indeed high. Are you ready to play the game . Lets do this jimmy lets find out. Its time to find out who knows metallica . Here we go, first question. In what year was metallica inducted into the rock n roll hall of fame . 09. Jimmy dave says 09, that is correct [ cheers and applause ] finish the question first, thats not fair. Jimmy there are four of you and only one of him. So thats not fair either. Next question, at that hall of fame ceremony, which musician in yes, lars . Flea. Jimmy flea is absolutely correct. Press the button really fast, it doesnt even matter. Jimmy next question, james and lars starred on which disney cartoon . Go, go that one jimmy does anybody know . Dave, you know this, come on. Dave the barbarian give it to james, he got it first. Dave the barbarian. Yeah jimmy dave. The cartoon was named after you. I love it. Im a barbarian, yes. Jimmy next question. Where did kirk buy his first guitar . Lars . He stole it from me kirk, come on. Where did you buy your first guitar . Uh oh rewards. Jimmy that is absolutely correct. Did you buy the speaker . We are reversing history. Jimmy youre not even a metallica fan, are you . No this doesnt seem fair, jimmy. Were going to take everybody out in hollywood tonight. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy all right, time is running out. Where was metallicas firstever gig . Jimmy dave got it correct. Radio city, anaheim. [ cheers and applause ] in what year did metallica officially form . Lars . 81. Jimmy 81 is correct, metallica, you win metallica wins their own game [ cheers and applause ] i want to congratulate you, you are going home with daves wallet, congratulations. We are going partying, boys and girls wheres the money . Wait whos she . Whoa condoms . Maybe, yeah. Wow. Okay. Jimmy theres all kinds of good stuff in there and it is all yours to take home. Dave, are you disappointed . No, no. Opportunity of a lifetime. Jimmy you did get to spend some quality time with metallica. Gentlemen, i believe you have a consolation prize for dave . Is that correct . We have a consolation prize, yes. Were playing a bunch of show in one of them. Well fly you out. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy metallica here with us tonight. Well be right back with david spade [ cheers and applause ] . Dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live brought to you by the nissan rogue. See rogue one a star wars story in theaters december 16th. The lords of the playlist. The midnight feasters. And the last train sprinters. . . . Style lets you stand out from the herd. Whats inside sets you apart. The cadillac escalade. Jimmy hi there, welcome back. Tonight, this is their new album, its called . Hardwired to selfdestruct, . Metallica is here, they will sit down to talk and we closed the street down for them to rock afterwards. A Big Block Party with metallica tonight. Tomorrow night, Blake Shelton and Andrea Riseborough will be please join us then. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is an american treasure. You know him from so many things i would be exhausted to even try to name them. And if you are in las vegas, you can see him live with ray romano at the mirage hotel february 24th and 25th. Police say hello to david spade [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how you doing . Hey, all right. Jimmy whats going on . Its good to see you. Yeah. Jimmy how are you doing . Whats going on with the shoe box you got down there . Look at theet [ bleep ] shoes. These, the shoes arent mine. I wore my wrong ones today. Jimmy you did . I wore the ones i wear around the house, forgot to change them. Then they had these backstage. I think some kid from things left them. Jimmy what is your shoe size . Micro. Is that one . No, its 8. Its an 8. Jimmy you just got [ laughter ] i dont know. Jimmy you finished a major comedy tour. Oh, yeah. Jimmy with adam sandler. Rob schneider. Pick schwartzsen. They were the main ones. Then also in l. A. And las vegas norm macdonald. And timmy meadows. Bozos. It was really, really fun. We finished last night in atlanta. I came back just straight from there. Jimmy is this strictly for fun that you guy dozen this . It seems like this is like the adam sandler wants to get out of his house and have fun with his friends tour. Yeah, we all do, its all fun. It was like at snl, wed all hang out. Now we all get to goof around and fly around. And were on the road. Were on the road so long. Jimmy do you stay in the same hotel . Oh, yeah, you know it. Jimmy you do, adam gets the prez suite. Its funny in a dinky town, youre at the resident inn, they go, the president ial suite. How many president s are staying here . We have a great time. When you do a show and theres that many good guys sometimes someone doesnt do that great. Jimmy really . Because just by nature of an audience, they cant laugh like crazy over and over and over. They take a guy off sometimes. If its the same guy, theres a problem. Well, wed figure that out. [ laughter ] but its like a couple nights ago most everyone does great. Couple of nights ago my first two little bomb jokes eat it. Then the next one eats it. And i go, am i the guy that sucks tonight . Thats all i could think of. Oh, no, im the guy. I turn on the razzle dazzle, after that. Tada, pump up the volume, get louder. Thats a good k. Have dinner after the show . We do, eat at midnight after the show. Jimmy adam is like sinatra in this situation . Yeah, yeah, yeah. And im sammy davis jr. [ laughter ] maybe not. Jimmy the small shoes. I dont know. We go out, we go to the restaurants. We did do the mannequin challenge last night. Jimmy you did . Yeah, when the bill came. [ laughter ] when we go in there, there was a guy, you know, some people talk to us, you know. People hanging out. This guy goes, hey, you know. He goes, come here. He goes, my buddy here wants to meet you, hes a doctor. Oh, cool, cool. He goes, how old do you think i am . I go, i dont know, 70 . He goes, 58. [ laughter ] people think im 40. I go, hm, i thought you were higher. Then he goes, plastic surgeon. I go, cool. Naturally, always. So i go, what would you do to me . Jimmy oh, really. Oh, its a mistake. As i said it, i want to back out of this one. I see him going really studying me, tick tick tick. Then i go, i dont want to know, i dont want to know. He goes, document to know . You want the list . I go no, no. He goes, all right, heres just these are not negotiable and ill do it for free. This is mustdo. And im like, uh, nah, its cool, im not in that bad of shape. He goes, you arent . Listen, cane catapult you up to averagelooking do you want that . For 100 grand . I go, oh. You can be a cplus. Youre going to walk away from that . Are you tired of being personalitydriven . Fans. The fans. The fans get bananas out there. Jimmy do they . Oh, yeah, right. First of all, we all love the fans. And its always fun. And if theyre fan fans, a lot of people are pictures guys. Jimmy theyre not really fans. They just want to sell your picture. Right. Mines not putting anybody through college, im telling you right now. But they have like emperors new groove, blah, blah, blah. They have all of ours. I dont know where these people hotel, restaurant, swoop. Jimmy its amazing because they have in their hands a collection. Jimmy they knew where you were going to be. Yeah. Jimmy unless theyre carrying your picture everywhere they go. Tipping a guy a nickel to tell you . Because youre making a dollar on the picture. David, david, david, david. And i go, only fans, come on. He goes, im a fan. You want to do jeder 2 . Maybe my top 100 fans. He goes, come on, sign. No, dont sign on your face all right. And then they trick you. They put the pictures like this. Then i go, all right. He has his daughter there. He pimps his daughter out, fakes like shes a fan. First shes got a happy gilmore thing for starters. Then she goes, im your biggest not that buy jimmy and so what youre saying is when people go see you in las vegas, they can do this to you all over again with ray romano . They will do it. Joe dirt immediately a selfie head lock, aah its already over, man, come on. Jimmy this is very relatable, it really is. Yeah. But it used to be autographs. No more. Jimmy no, no, nobody wants your autograph anymore. If you try to sign somebodys name, no, no, dont put my name on it. Who are u . Jimmy you also have a Television Show on trutv, a prank show called fameless. How many seasons of this show have you done now . Oh my god. This is two, maybe three. Jimmy you are very involved in the production of this program . Well, i do it, but we do them in eight, six, 12, keep going and going. I dont know what they call it. We prank people. Which is tough for me. Im in some of them and its pranking people . , you its fun to watch. I get so scared when im in it. We do threw a guy off a balcony. I go, i dont know these people, i feel bad. Everyone goes, yeah, you nailed him so excited. Jimmy its always a pleasure to see you. Its fun, metallicas here. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy metallicas here tonight. Go see metallica jimmy david spade and ray romano at the mirage in vegas february 24th and we love knowing whats happening. Be right back with metallica so the nest cam Security Camera looks after things and alerts your phone if somethings up. Hey, need a glass . No matter what it is. Hey, dad. . Come on, wake up come on, why ya sleepin . Come on what time is it . Its go time. Come on. Lets go, lets go, lets go. Woooo hoooo yeah i feel like i went to bed an hour ago. Ill make the cocoa. Get a great offer on the car of your grownup dreams at the mercedesbenz winter event. Its the look on their faces that make it all worthwhile. Thank you santa now lease the 2017 c300 for 389 a month i thought i was managing my moderate to severe crohns disease