Jeff foxworthy and featurg the legendary roots crew. Questlove 521 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon . . . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, thats what you want i love you, i love you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Welcome to the tonight show, everybody. This is it, youre all here. Youve made it. [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much for being here. Weve got a great show for you tonight. First, heres what people are talking about. Awar a here in new york. [ cheers and applause ] i read that the network actually gets too many requests from people who want to sit with taylor swift so they look cool. [ light laughter ] mtv was like, well let you know if anything opens up, hillary. All right. [ laughter and applause ] fifth call today. And a producer for the vmas says that apparently rihanna is going to deliver a, quote, holy crap moment. Donald trump is like, who try doing that twice a day, every day. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] holy crap. Holy crap. Holy crap. Actually trump had a big week. In fact the Washington Post published an entire biography of donald trump thats 431 pages long. Trump said its a little longer than the books he likes to read by about 431 pages. [ laughter and applause ] but he still likes it. Steve he loves reading. Have a computer at his desk in trump tower. Instead every five minutes he just shouts at his secretary, barbara, google me. [ laughter ] google. [ applause ] have i been how many times have i been googled today . Google me again. According to the book, at one point, trump wanted to pitch a a dramatic tv series based on his life, called the tower. [ light laughter ] apparently, he went so far as to film the opening credits. We have an exclusive here. Take . . . . Jimmy thats fantastic. [ applause ] steve i love him jimmy i love that dude. Like a pretty good show. But the hillary emails just keep on coming. They just released one that because she didnt feel well enough to fly commercially. Apparently she even called the general in the airport, and i gotta say it sounds a bit suspicious. We have a recording of the phone call. Its an exclusive. [ light laughter ] steve wow, howd you get that . Jimmy its another steve did they call you . Or what happened . Jimmy i cant get into details. Steve but we have them. Jimmy its classified, but this steve this is top secret information, and we have it. Wow. Jimmy we have the phone call recording of the phone call. It sounds a bit fishy. Steve lets hear it. Jimmy listen to this. This is general welsh. Secretary of state Hillary Clinton. I was hoping the air force could fly me home. Im terribly sick. Cough, cough. [ laughter ] did you say, cough, cough . Yes. Ha ha. Cough, cough. Chill, shivery. Madam secretary, i am afraid that we reserve this sort of thing just for the president. Well then, perfect. Lets just pretend im president. [ laughter ] you can call me hello . Oh, well. Sigh, cough. [ laughter ] steve wow jimmy shiver, chill. A little Celebrity News here. I saw that Angelina Jolie and brad pitt celebrated their second wedding anniversary this week. [ applause ] they said it was a small celebration, just them and their immediate army, i mean, family. [ applause ] isnt that nice . I just thought that was nice. This is kind of sweet. In a new interview, ashley olsen called her sister mary kate her best friend. [ audience aws ] then she said, unless im mary kate. [ laughter ] [ applause ] am i mary kate . No, im not. Is it a leap year . [ light laughter ] no, im mary kate. I love ashley. This isnt good here, guys. I read that the brady bunch house was broken into and raided by burglars in california last week. Marcias room was ransacked while jans room was just ignored. [ applause ] steve come on. Jimmy its always marcia, marcia, marcia [ light laughter ] this is interesting. New Research Found that young people actually have higher stress and anxiety than older people. Mainly, its due to the older person in front of them trying to pay for a tv with dimes. [ laughter and applause ] ten cents, 20 cents, 30 cents, 40 cents. 50 cents. Steve grandma sandler [ laughter ] mr s jimmy theres a [ laughter ] theres a new report that says that the sales of canned wine are on the rise. Canned wine. So finally people that drink boxed wine have someone to look down on. [ applause ] drinking wine out of a can . How dare you . [ pop ] [ gulping ] [ laughter ] finally, this is just crazy, guys. I saw that the playboy mansion recently sold for 100 million to one of the owners of the hostess company. Which makes sense because that place has already seen its share of hohos and ding dongs. I know, i know. [ applause ] we have a great show. Give it up for the roots . . . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you guys very much. We had a great show tonight. But join us again next week. On monday, golden globe awardwinning actor kevin bacon will be here [ cheers and applause ] steve yeah jimmy hes always fun. And weve got Something Special planned with him. Be sure to tune in for that. Plus we have music from Meghan Trainor jimmy that will be something. Then, later in the week we have mel brooks is coming on the show. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] come on. Jimmy david spade will be on our show. [ cheers ] the kids from stranger things, will be on the show. [ cheers and applause ] Harry Connick jr. steve what . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy meg ryan jr. [ cheers ] you dont want to miss a a junior. But first, we have a fun show tonight. We love it when she stops by. Shes the coolest. From the new movie mechanic resurrection, jessica alba is re [ cheers and applause ] always the best. Steve a delight. Jimmy jessica and i are going to play a brand new game called roomba pong. [ audience oohs ] steve fancy. Jimmy yeah, its fun. Plus hes the bestselling comedy recording artist of all time. And he has a new standup special available now on netflix called Jeff Foxworthy and larry the cable guy weve been thinking. Jeff foxworthy is here tonight [ cheers and applause ] hes a funny, funny man. Steve funny man. Jimmy always makes me laugh. Jeff is going to perform standup for us. And then were going to catch up with him later in the show. Its gonna be a good show tonight. Thank you guys so much. Guys, today is friday. Should we show bonk . Guys, we have a free app thats available. Its free if you have an iphone or apple device. But anyways, its called bonk. I dont know if you know it. Clearly you dont. But heres what you [ laughter ] steve they love it. Jimmy but its free. Steves do. So you put your head see its like an outline of a a head . See that . Blue . So you outline it with your head and your eyes, right . [ light laughter ] all right. So now look. Heres thats me, right . Thats the photo there. [ cheers ] then you press simple enough, just press bonk. . . Wait for two seconds. [ funny noises ] i like that guy. And then you can share it, and you send it around, email, and instagram and twitter and facebook and all that stuff. Anyways, its called bonk and it is sweeping the nation. Steve sweeping. Like roomba. Jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah. Guys, today is friday. [ cheers and applause ] were excited for the weekend. Steve yeah, theyre excited. Jimmy and thats usually when i catch up with some personal stuff, you know, i check my inbox, i return some emails. And of course i send out thank [ cheers and applause ] i was running a bit behind. So i thought if you guys wouldnt mind, id just like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. Is that cool . [ cheers and applause ] uh, james . [ laughter ] james . Whats up, buddy . Steve james got something in his eye . Jimmy i dont know. [ light laughter ] james, can i get some steve oh, no. [ light laughter ] steve look at him. [ laughter ] jimmy i did see him earlier playing with shrimp. Maybe hes allergic to shrimp. [ laughter ] steve hes allergic to shrimp . Jimmy and he cant move. Steve are you allergic to shrimp . [ laughter ] jimmy all right. I dont know what happened. Hes allergic a lot of food allergies. James, can i get some a thank you note writing music please . . . Aw, thank you. [ light laughter ] unbelievable. Thank you very much. Steve unbelievably cute. Jimmy yeah. . . Thank you, tim tebow, for deciding to try out for a Major League Baseball team, which is an odd choice for someone who has never been to first base. [ laughter ] steve hey ho hey [ cheers and applause ] jimmy he wrote it james wrote it steve james jimmy i didnt write it. Steve james you didnt think about home base either. Tball. [ laughter ] jimmy thank you, airlander 10, for being the Worlds Largest aircraft, and also showing me what itd look like if the macys thanksgiving day parade had a Kim Kardashian balloon. [ audience ohs ] [ cheers and applause ] steve what is that, james . Jimmy james steve what is that supposed to mean . Jimmy he did write it. Steve this guy is crazy. Insane in the membrane. . . Jimmy thank you, San Diego Chargers logo, for looking like an emoji toupee. [ laughter and applause ] thats a good idea. Steve classic. Jimmy thats a good idea. Steve they should do it. Jimmy that should be our next app. Steve yeah. Jimmy emoji toupee. Steve emoji toupees. . . Jimmy thank you, michael phelps, for winning the gold in the 200meter butterfly, the 4x200 relay, and the 100 meter resting bitch face. [ applause ] im angry im going to slam [ light laughter ] gonna win another medal [ laughter ] . . Jimmy thank you, the remake of benhur, for being a flop at the box office. Which makes me feel silly for ordering that im with hur tshirt. [ laughter ] have to return that. Steve how many did you order . Jimmy i should return that. I got 300 of them. [ light laughter ] thank you, ryan lochte, for joining the cast of dancing with the stars. I guess after speedo dropped him, he decided to go someplace with a little more ball room. [ applause ] steve oh, my gosh. James [ applause ] . . Ball room. . . Jimmy thank you, coworker who carries around their juice cleanse bottle with them, for telling the entire office in about a week youre going to see me eating an entire pizza by myself. [ applause ] it happens. You cant keep going. And finally . . Thank you, parallel parking, or as i call you, car tetris. There you guys have it right there. Those are my thank you notes. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with jessica alba [ cheers and applause ] . . . . Its a golden opportunity to discover that in a lexus suv there are no adverse conditions. For a limited time, get some of our best offers of the year at the lexus golden opportunity sales event. Get up to 5,000 customer cash on select 2016 models. Ends september 5th. See your lexus dealer. . Hey ladies, when you go then everything goes . . From the crib to the ride and the clothes . . So you better let him know . Ing new limearita splash the refreshing margarita in a bottle. Is this my car . State farm knows that for every one of those moments. What . Theres one of these. Sam, i gotta go. Is this my car . This is ridiculous this is ridiculous from car insurance. To car loans. . . . . . . Give extra. Get extra. Im jamie foxx for verizon. In the nations largest independent study by rootmetrics, again, verizon is the number one network. Hi, im jamie foxx for sprint. both and were just as good. Really . What National Awards have you won . None. Exactly. Only verizon was ranked number one nationally in data, reliability, text and call, and speed. Yeah and youre gonna fist pump to that . announcer vo dont get fooled by cut rate networks. Get the best. And now get up to four free Samsung Galaxy phones, four lines, and sixteen gigs for just onefifty. . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest is a a talented actress who stars alongside Jason Statham in the new movie mechanic resurrection which is in theaters now. . . . . [ cheers and applause ] oh, my gosh, welcome. Thank you, thank you so much. Thank you for having me. Jimmy you look gorgeous as always, thank you so much. Thank you. Over here. Jimmy yeah, thank you, sir. Alright, watch it. [ cheers and applause ] calm down. We have a lot to get to. In addition to the movie coming out today you also have a new line of Hair Products out, cause i know yes. Jimmy your business has, like, taken off. Yeah, i launched a beauty line called honest beauty. And were available at Ulta Beauty Stores across the and we Just Launched a hair care line and so you get clean, effective, beautiful Hair Products by honest beauty. Jimmy i mean, thats major, pal, congratulations. Thank you. Jimmy im in. [ applause ] youre creating this, you have this unbelievable giant business with honest and theyre all great stuff. I use the diapers and stuff for the baby. Awe, yay. Jimmy well, not me but for the baby. Im an entrepreneur as well, we made an app called bonk. [ laughter ] i dont know if you heard about it, its sweeping the nation. [ light laughter ] im s everybodys heard about it, right, guys . Jimmy everybody is talking about it. People cant stop. What is it exactly . Jimmy oh, its fascinating. Would you like to try it . Yeah, totally. Cant wait. Jimmy its effective and it makes your hair look good. Okay. [ light laughter ] jimmy alright, ready . Okay. Jimmy yeah, you go right in there. And just press the blue button. Alright, there you go. Perfect. Okay. Jimmy gosh, gorgeous. Youre about to get bonked. [ light laughter ] ready . [ laughter ] jimmy thats a good one. Thats funny. [ applause ] jimmy you never had a beard before, right . I really have never tried a a beard on. Jimmy no, ive never seen you with a beard, but thats a a good look. Yeah, i like that. That is a good look, yeah. Jimmy how is everything . Hows the kids . Theyre great. Jimmy hows the husband . Hows he doing . Actually started a Company Called pair of thieves and he makes like undies and sockies. Jimmy sockies . For men and kids. Jimmy sockies. I get undies. No one says sockies. I dont know. We say it in the house. Jimmy he doesnt make like japanese sake does he . No, but he makes like the noshows. I call those sockies, i dont know. Jimmy whats noshow . Its like socks that you dont jimmy oh, socks that hide under so it looks like youre not wearing socks. Yeah, but theyre really cute, and they stay apparently. Do you know what that means . Apparently jimmy its like learning a a whole new language, like Rosetta Stone tonight. This is fantastic. [ laughter ] i didnt know he was jimmy no swass . Swass. He says guys get sweaty ass. Jimmy oh, my gosh. [ audience groans ] and so his undies are no swass. I dont know, i never knew that about guys. Jimmy well, you should, hes your husband. You should know if he has swass. [ light laughter ] im not jimmy i dont i dont have swass. I would never assume. But apparently with his undies, you will not have that. So jimmy swass free. That is fantastic. I have to go to an urban dictionary and check out swass. [ light laughter ] how are the babies . How are the kids . Theyre really good. Theyre going to start school soon. Havie, everything has an ie. I dont know. I think ever since i became a a mom i got really corny and i say e. Sockies. Jimmy undies. Undies. Havie. Jimmy havie. So sorry about that. [ light laughter ] jimmy no, you have to do shes starting school, shes going to be in kindergarten, which is really cute. Jimmy wait, you have a a 5yearold . And then i have an 8yearold, who is about to be in third grade. Jimmy 8yearsold already . Yeah and she has like braces and she likes to play tennis. Jimmy come on, thats crazy. I know. And she never wants to wear pink, she only wants to wear blue and she loves being sporty. Jimmy is she cause you had a brother growing up, right . I did, yeah. Jimmy is she like you guys . My kids dont fight the way that i fought with my brother. Jimmy oh, really . Yeah. Jimmy you guys were competitive . Competitive and we were incredibly physical. Like, we beat each other up. Jimmy oh, really . Yeah. Jimmy oh, really . You got violent. My brother knocked out my teeth. Jimmy what . Yeah, like, i didnt have teeth for a really long time. [ laughter ] i had a mask jimmy when they grow back hed knock em out again . Well, no. I didnt have tops or bottoms i used to torture him cause he had chapped lips, he was like one of those liplicker kids. [ light laughter ] and was the crazy chap so i would binaca his lips when he was sleeping. Jimmy did it sting him . It would sting him so bad and he would cry. Jimmy oh, thats cool. And i would like tickle his nose and put toothpaste on his hand and he would like jimmy i once pretended i couldnt hear for my sister. My brother actually did that jimmy really . She kept talking to me and i was like i cant hear what youre saying. She freaked out. Did she smack you or . Jimmy no, she just started crying. She freaked out and didnt know what to do. [ laughter ] oh, i used to pretend i was possessed by a devil [ laughter ] in the middle of the night and id go into my brothers room and he thought i was possessed like poltergeist. Seriously and it gave him nightmares. Yeah, i did like an evil voice and id scare the crap out of him in the middle of the night. Brothers and sisters. Theyre so fun. Yeah. Jimmy hes got to be proud of you for everything youve done. I mean, mechanic resurrection yes. Jimmy it came out today. Jason statham, who we love on the show yes, hes great. Jimmy he is the toughest, toughest dude of all time. [ laughter ] and hes tougher yeah. Jimmy and he dont care, i dont really like that. But in real life hes the nicest, sweetest dude ive ever met. He is, and he has so many muscles. [ laughter ] jimmy hes got two more yeah, he has like multiple shoulder muscles and back like muscles. He has like a 12pack, i didnt even know that could exist. Jimmy well, i know it does. [ laughter ] i had a 12pack before the show. [ laughter ] come on yall. But do you understand when he talks to you, oh, jessica, do that thing [ inaudible ] jimmy yeah, exactly. Me too. When he was talking to his friends. So hed slow it down for me when he was just talking to me. Jimmy yeah, he came on the show and we played this game, we just laughed so hard. We were like two little kids. I just never saw he just melted. Like a muscly little kid. Jimmy he would say, ill come on the show but im not sure i want to talk. [ light laughter ] we could played a game or Something Like that. He was like, play a game . And we played this game and had so much fun he was actually crying laughing. He is such a sweet guy. Jimmy i love the guy so much this film, can you set it up at all . You are going to expect a a lot of jason kicking all