Were going to have a great show. Thank you so much for being here, guys. Heres what people are talking about. A white house email account was hacked, and a lot of their information was leaked yesterday. Theyre saying the information was stolen from the Gmail Account of a lowlevel staffer. Then joe biden was like, technically, my title is vice president. [ laughter ] lowlevel staffer. Of course, the candidates are busy getting ready for the first president ial debates this coming monday. Get this. Apparently, Hillary Clinton has for the timers they use in debates. Yeah, they say she has an innate sense of when time is running out. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] then, democrats said, where the hell has it been the last couple months . Hey, come on lets go [ applause ] meanwhile, donald trump is not preparing as much for the debate. Hes no. But his campaign is running a campaign plane. Second place winner gets to be secretary of state. [ laughter and applause ] that sounds fun. Steve wow jimmy thats a good deal. Steve thats a good prize. Jimmy listen to this. In an upcoming frontline special, former apprentice star omarosa claims that everyone who criticizes him will eventually have to, quote, bow down to president trump. [ audience oohs ] in response, people said, this is america, and we dont bow down to anyone. Besides beyonce. [ cheers and applause ] beyonce. Queen bee. And this is just weird. Libertarian candidate gary johnson was asked [ light laughter ] you got to this. No, you got to see this. He was asked how he would do if he were allowed at the debate, if he was at the debate, how he would do, and he wound up giving a pretty interesting response here. Take a look at this. Do you think if you were able to get on the debate stage that you could pull even with trump and clinton in these polls . And it wouldnt be it wouldnt have anything to do with my debate performance either. [ mumbling ] and not say anything [ mumbling ] [ laughter and applause ] steve what . God. Jimmy hillary was like, and you guys are worried about my health . I mean this is just [ mumbling ] but, with the election so close, p in office is winding down. Of course, obama has changed a a lot during his presidency. If you want to see how much hes changed, we actually got 2016 obama to sit down and talk with 2009 obama. Take a look at this. And i promise you, if you occupy this job long enough, youre gonna, in some ways and some areas, fall short of the ideal. You certainly shouldnt be punished for that. Thats just piling on. Lets face it. The easiest way to get on television right now is to be really rude right now. Nightly news. Well, i the second piece of advice is, always use purell Hand Sanitizer [ light laughter ] because if you dont, youre going to get a lot of colds because you shake a lot of hands. This is not the Biggest Issue facing the country. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy it is not the Biggest Issue. And in a new interview with vanity fair, president obama revealed that he often writes angry letters to people when hes upset, but then crumples well, we actually got our hands on a few of those crumpled up letters. [ laughter ] steve really . Jimmy yeah. Check out what obama was so mad about. Heres the first letter. He said, dear putin, what are you doing, man . How could you not show up to the u. N. . Well, guess what, u and n are the first two letters of me uninviting you to my pool party. [ laughter ] but, who cares, right . Im sure you already have your shirt off. Oh, yeah, tell trump i said hi. Barack. [ applause ] crumbled it up. Steve crumpled it up and threw it away. We got it. Steve are you serious . Jimmy we have another letter. Steve no wonder theyre getting hacked all the time. Jimmy he wrote, dear time warner cable. [ light laughter ] i cant get your damn dvr fastforward button to work properly. I hit the button, and it went backwards to the beginning of the damn show. It shouldnt take three hours to watch one episode of tiny house hunters. [ laughter and applause ] tiny house hunters . What am i doing . Why am i writing this . Steve got it. Thats all you got. Jimmy no, we have one more letter. Steve what . Jimmy yes. [ light laughter ] steve wow. Jimmy finally, he said, dear sprint spokesman who used w what the hell, dude . What ever happened to loyalty . If paul ryan can stick with donald trump, you can stick with the wireless carrier that made you famous. Can you hear me now, bitch . [ laughter and applause ] whoa crumple it up steve wow jimmy and toss it in the garbage. Well, get this, Mark Zuckerbergs wife, priscilla, says their 10monthold daughter wont be allowed to sign up for facebook until shes 13, because she has to follow the rules. Facebook in 13 years. [ laughter ] like, lame, mom everyones on twizzlebonk you cant be on it im on it its for kids [ light laughter ] so embarasssing give me my jet pack [ laughter ] stop following me around steve bleep blorp. Jimmy this is very interesting here. New data finds that more own lunch to work every day. Yeah, as evidenced by the inside of your break room microwave that looks like a a triple homicide just took place. [ laughter ] cover your chili, carl i wasnt even the one eating chili [ laughter ] im sorry, carl. I just had a rough day. Okay. [ light laughter ] steve my gosh. I brought quail. Jimmy i was just barked at and ripped a new one. Steve call the surgeon. Jimmy i need to take an hour lunch. Steve harsh. Jimmy yeah, sorry, carl. Finally, it was reported today that due to his role in the bridge gate scandal, new Jersey Governor Chris Christie could face impeachment. When he heard that, christie said, mmm, peach, mint. [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] . . . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy guys, come back again next week. On monday samuel l. Jackson and Gina Rodriguez are going to be here. [ cheers and applause ] of truth or door. Yeah. Then later in the week, sting will be here. [ cheers and applause ] kate mckinnon, margot robbie, nathan lane, and James Marsden will all be joining us. Its gonna be good. But first, we love this guy. Hes the funniest. He stars in the hit television series, the last man on earth. Will forte is on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] the funniest dude, the funniest guy ever. Plus from the new movies the magnificent seven and the girl on the train, two giant movies, Haley Bennett is stopping by. Steve oh jimmy there she is there. [ cheers and applause ] and then, this girl is just unbelievable, and just meeting her in person, shes the cutest thing youve ever seen. She just won americas got talent, and the judges the did a job. They picked the right one. Shes got so much talent. Shes so awesome. 12 years old, the winner of americas got talent, steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy plays ukelele. Voice steve voice jimmy amazing voice. She writes all of her own stuff. Grace and i are going to talk. Were going to play a fun new singing game, and then shes going to perform for us to close the show. I cannot wait. She is so awesome. [ cheers and applause ] its a hot show tonight. Guys, were very lucky to have a special guest sitting in with the roots tonight. That is multiple grammy awardlosing rock musician gregg almond. Gregg,nk [ cheers and applause ] thank you for having me, jimmy. It honestly is just great to be out of my apartment. [ laughter ] jimmy gregg, you are, of course, a member of the famous almond brothers band, is that correct . Yes, and thats almond brothers with a d not to be confused with the allman brothers band, who as everyone knows are a bunch of thieving hacks who stole our careers. Into that. Gregg, just remind me. How did the almond brothers band get together . Well, jimmy, the core of the group has always been me and my identical cousin, randy almond. [ laughter ] we bonded in high school over two things our love of good oldfashioned american rock music and a lifethreatening allergy to nuts and legumes. [ laughter ] jimmy wait a second. Wait, im sorry, youre allergic to nuts . From the name, almond brothers, that kind of seems like you love almonds. Yeah, jimmy, that is a in fact, it has been very confusing to our fans as well. [ laughter ] you know, often they will show up to our concerts and throw handfuls of roasted almonds at us, resulting in severe allergic reactions to the hands and face. I, myself, have been taken to the emergency room over 397 times [ laughter ] for nutrelated issues, yeah. Jimmy oh my goodness, over 397 times . Yeah. Jimmy yeah, you wouldnt just say over 400, no. Why dont you just sorry, im laughing at something else. This joke i heard earlier. Gregg, why dont you just tell your fans that youre allergic to almonds . Well, jimmy, we did try. Especially on our 1 1976 album, please dont put your nuts on us. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy i think i do we have that . I dont know if we have that album here. Do we . Oh, no, we do. Actually, we have that album here. This is it. Please dont put your nuts on us [ cheers and applause ] the almond brothers. You know, sadly, that somehow that just emboldened people to throw more almonds at us. [ laughter ] in fact, the constant nutchucking became such a a problem that we had to stop touring. [ laughter ] jimmy constant nutchucking . I mean, thats steve thats the worst. Jimmy why didnt you just change the name of the band . Well, we did. You know, for a while, we called ourselves the not the almond brothers, jimmy i see. I see. And your cousin, randy, is no longer with us, is that correct . Thats right. Thats right. Unfortunately, we lost randy a a year ago. Miss you, cuz. Miss you every day, every damn day. [ laughter ] jimmy like, not with us anymore. You want to do which one is he . [ laughter ] is this him . On the left. Jimmy that is him . Okay, there he is. For randy tonight, sort of a a tribute, is that correct . Yes. [ laughter ] jimmy well, whenever youre ready, please. . . . Cousin i still miss your big old sweet brown eyes . . Though they were often swollen shut from handling pecan pies . . Ill never understand the reason why you passed away . . Though it may have been the double decker . I hope one day ill see your face much clearer . . Until then ill just have to stare into a mirror . . Do do do do . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that was very touching. Thats a very touching tribute. Steve beautiful. Jimmy gregg almond, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for being here, gregg. Well be right back with thank you notes, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] . . . . . . One smart choice leads to the next. . . The new 2017 ford fusion is here. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Come seek the Royal Caribbean . . . [ . Diggy . By sp] team, what if 30,000 people download the new app . Were good. Okay. What if a Million People download the new app . Were good. Five million . Good. We scale on demand. Hybrid infrastructure, boom. Ok. What if 30 Million People download the app . Were not good. Were total heroes. Ale on demand with the Number One Company in cloud infrastructure. . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy sounding great, guys. Welcome back, everybody. Thank you. Oh, yeah. Hot crowd. [ cheers and applause ] oh, you know what . Todays friday, and usually thats when i catch up on some personal stuff. I check my inbox, i send out some emails, and of course send out my thank you notes and i was running a bit behind [ cheers and applause ] would you mind, can i write out my weekly thank you notes right now . Is that cool . Thank you very much. James, how you doing, buddy . Everything good . [ laughter ] can i have some thank you note writing music, please . . . Always in a good mood steve he was in a good mood. Jimmy always in a good mood, that guy. Steve yeah. Jimmy look how happy he is. Steve call him happy james. Jimmy yeah. Steve the cutest piano player on the block. [ laughter ] . . Jimmy thank you, vladimir putin, for forming a a new super secret megaspy agency. The fact that i know about it means youre off to a great start. [ laughter and applause ] how do i know about spy steve its secret. [ as putin ] jimmy super megasecret. . . [ laughter ] thank you, american airlines, for updating employee uniforms for the first time in nearly three decades. Now, can you retire the plane i just flew in that had an ashtray . [ laughter and applause ] thank you i appreciate it. That would be great. You havent been able to smoke on a flight since 1974. Thank you, Pumpkin Spice latte, for sounding like strawberry shortcakes stripper cousin. [ laughter and applause ] and you go, oh, Pumpkin Spice latte. Steve here she comes to the stage, Pumpkin Spice latte. . . Thank you, google, for testing a Drone Delivery Service for chipotle that will drop a a burrito off at your hous of course, it used to mean something totally different when someone said, i cant leave the house until my chipotle drops. [ laughter and applause ] different, very different. Steve the number two reason. [ laughter ] . . Jimmy thank you, candy never [ applause ] [ as trump ] beautiful candy. Very classy. Covered in gold. 100 sugar. [ laughter ] . . Thank you, extensive wine menus at restaurants for making it more difficult for me to find the second least expensive bottle. [ laughter ] oh, yeah look, that looks real good. Steve 22 . Jimmy ill have the i love merlot. [ laughter ] [ pop sound ] . . Thank you, kaleidoscopes, for being a fun way to teach kids how to hallucinate. There you guys have it. Those are my thank you notes. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with will forte. [ cheers and applause ] i struggle with bipolar depression, and its tough. It leaves me feeling sad and empty. It makes it hard to be there for the people i love. So i talked to my doctor and she prescribed latuda. There are many forms of depression. Latuda is fda approved to treat bipolar depression which is different from other types of depression. In clinical studies, onceaday latuda was proven effective latuda is not for everyone. Call your doctor about unusual mood changes, behaviors, or suicidal thoughts. Antidepressants can increase these in children, teens, and young adults. Elderly dementia patients on latuda have an increased risk of death or stroke. Call your doctor about fever, stiff muscles and confusion, as these may be signs of a lifethreatening reaction, or if you have uncontrollable muscle movements, as these may be permanent. High blood sugar has been seen with latuda and medicines like it, h can be fatal, dizziness on standing, seizures, increased cholesterol, weight or prolactin, trouble swallowing and impaired judgment. Avoid grapefruit and grapefruit juice. Use caution before driving or operating machinery. Being there for the people i love means i get to be a part of lifes little moments. And that means so much to me. Ask your doctor if oncedaily latuda is right for you. Pay as little as a 15 copay. Visit latuda. Com. [ 80s music ] can i get anyone a beer . Make it a redds apple ale redds apple ale. When josh atkins books at laquinta. Com. He gets a ready for you alert the second his room is ready. So you know what he gives . Ill give you everything ive got and then some. He gives a hundred and ten percent im confident this 10 can boost your market share. Feel me lois . Im feeling you. Boom look at that pie chart. The ready for you alert, only at laquinta. Com. We are a military family. They travel a lot. Every four years when we got restationed you think its going to be the biggest change in your life but theres always more changes to come. The first thing that we would do when we would get into our new place was set up the beds. And when i go to t. J. Maxx i buy good quality things that are going to last a long time. Everything i get there, i get at a lower price. Shopping at t. J. Maxx is always like a bonding experience. Discover real value worth sharing. I just think that home, its wherever your family is. . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest is a a very funny, very talented man who has twice been emmy nominated for outstanding lead actor in a comedy series, for his fantastic work on the Popular Television show, the last man on earth. The third season premiers this sunday at 9 30 p. M. On fox. Will forte [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you look great, man. Thank you very much. Jimmy looking good. Welcome. I apologize about that. Excited that had will fortes here on the show . Will forte sounds like a a madeup name to me. Jimmy your name is gregg almond. [ laughter ] hey, gregg, hows it going . Sorry, i dont make small talk with prettyboy actors. [ laughter ] jimmy well, welcome to the show. Thank you so much. Thank you very much. Jimmy lets move on. Yeah. Jimmy congrats on your emmy nominations. Thank you very much. Jimmy you looked great. [ cheers and applause ] and you deserve it. No one deserves it m you commit to the role. You shaved half of your face. You had no hair, no eyebrows, no beard. My eyebrows are still coming back, but theyre hanging in there. Theyre coming back. Its exciting. Were not supposed to, right . [ cheers ] isnt it customary to undo that . Well now you see this little area. Jimmy yeah, i think lets put it back. Bring it back. [ laughter ] yeah, thats good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thats fine. Perfect. Look at that. That looks so comfortable. [ laughter ] that looks weird now. Maybe unbutton. No, that still looks weird. You dont need to hold the mug. Yeah. [ laughter ] let me have the mug. I think that just maybe open it all the up and tuck it around. Like one of these . [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Thats how youre supposed to do it. Thats perfect. Now thats it [ cheers and applause ] this is jimmy the emmy award, i screwed up your tie now, buddy. Sorry. The collars all messed up. [ laughter ] take your tie off. No, take youre tie off. People worked very hard to make this tie. [ laughter ] this tie, and i want to throw in a plug for them, is made by the tie company of thailand. A little on the jimmy oh, thai. No tieland. Jimmy oh its a new country. Yeah, youll hear about it. [ laughter ] jimmy how will i hear about it . It will be in the news . When the tieme is right, theyll put a sorry, actually, for everything thats happened since ive been out here. A blanket apology. [ laughter ] jimmy its just terrible. I love having you on. You know i love you. I was hoping that you would win, of course, the great, Jeffery Tambor won. But i was hoping youd win because i would love to see you get up there and give a nice speech. Awe, thats nice of you. Jimmy was rooting for you. Hes wonderful. He is, basically, if anybody in that category won, it would have made sense because everyb